Lily gulped and shook her head. “There’s nothing the matter with me, Aiden…”
“STOP LYING TO ME!” he roared, and the force of his anger vibrated through the room as if a plane landing at Luton Airport had just flown dangerously low over the house. It took her breath away. Aiden pointed a stiff finger at her. “You’ve not been right for months. You think I haven’t noticed, but I have…”
Lily was momentarily lost for words. She stared in horror, wide-eyed, at her husband. Had he really noticed? What could she say to that? She blinked at him and fortunately Aiden lowered his eyes first. He sniffed and ran the front of his hand over his nose. At first, she thought he was crying, but then Aiden never cried, and when she focused on his hand she saw that there was blood on it. “Fuck sake…” he muttered irately.
“Why is your nose bleeding?” she quavered. He sniffed and looked up at her. His expression was hard and indifferent. He moved so hastily over to the sink that he made her flinch. Running the cold tap, he threw some water over his face, and checked his nose again. It appeared to have stopped bleeding.
Lily watched him with growing disgust. When he swaggered over to the other side of the room to the fridge to take out a can of lager, her eyes went with him. “You’ve been on it again, haven’t you?” she warbled.
He didn’t answer her. Snapping the ring-pull of the can back, he put the can to his lips and drained it in one. Scrunching it in his fist, he threw it on top of the kitchen counter and got another can out of the fridge, all without acknowledging his wife.
“Aiden!” His glacial eyes finally met Lily’s. “Are you high?”
He stepped forward to retort, but restrained himself once more. Lily was uncharacteristically angry and ready to have a fight. It baffled Aiden, who was battling his instinct to go over and give her a slap across her pretty face for her disrespect. But this was his Lily. He could never raise his hand to her. He answered coldly, “No. I’m not.”
Lily just stared at him, unsure as to whether she believed him or not. Aiden, however, didn’t quite know how to handle this situation. Lily was rarely this irate. Yes, he had been using today, but he wasn’t high now, so he wasn’t thrilled to be nagged by his own damned wife. He decided the best course of action was to leave the vicinity. Taking off towards the door, can of lager in hand, he walked briskly into the next room. But this time, it was Lily on his tail.
“Don’t you walk away from me!” she screamed as she stormed into the lounge after him.
Aiden spun around. “Keep your fucking voice down, woman!” he whispered through gritted teeth.
It occurred to Lily that Amy would be asleep upstairs. It also occurred to her that Aiden had just screamed at her not five minutes ago, but she let it slide and took a deep breath to calm herself.
Aiden stared at her as if she had just grown two heads, totally bewildered by her animosity. He sighed and a hand went over his face. “What the hell is up with you, Lily?” he asked for the umpteenth time.
Lily knew she needed to calm down. She was only acting out because of the disappointing news she had received from her father, but it was not a sensible move. She may end up saying something out of turn and then all hell would break loose. She now needed a get-out plan from the hole she was slowly digging for herself. So she said, “I’m tired of being on my own. That’s why I went to see my parents today.” She knew, as soon as she played the ‘lonely’ card, that he’d drop all antagonism and instead fuss over her. She wasn’t disappointed.
He stepped up to her and took her face in his two hot hands. She looked up at him. His deep blue eyes were searching her face, filled with anxiety over her current mood, but also with admiration and wonder. He was taking her in and his manner compelled her to admire his beauty for the first time in months. He was the perfect embodiment of a man: absolutely gorgeous, skin unblemished, cheek bones, nose, and chin all perfectly prominent beneath it and his thick, dark eyebrows and black ruffled hair emphasising the vibrant colouring of his deep ocean-blue eyes, both of which were gazing at her as if he had just found her again after a long absence.
“You haven’t looked at me the way you are now in what seems a very long time, Lily,” Aiden whispered.
How could she have been so naive as to think that her husband would not notice her coldness towards him? All the times she had flinched at his touch these past months. All the times they had gone to bed and she had staged her enjoyment. Of course he would have noticed!
“I thought you had just been struggling with Amy or had that postnatal-whatever… I even spoke to me mum about it…” he added.
He gazed down at his wife, who he loved so much, and Lily saw written in his expression the pain of what her impassiveness had caused these past months. “Why did you not say anything before?” she found herself whispering, totally wrapped up in this moment with her husband.
Aiden shrugged. “You know me, Lils… plus I hate arguing with you and you’ve been pretty argumentative lately.”
He dropped his hands and his mouth set into a hard line, conveying his disappointment over the night’s events so far. Lily was now totally and utterly absorbed in his words. Whatever he was guilty of, she couldn’t accuse him of not loving her. He had always made it clear that she was the centre of his universe, and however much she wanted to deny it, he was the centre of her universe too. She was spending her every waking moment trying to think up ways to catch him out and have him pay for what he was doing to Gina, and what he was doing to all those other poor girls. She had instigated an investigation into her own husband. She had even sought information from a man Aiden had vowed to loathe for eternity. And yet she still loved her husband with every atom of her being.
She had been walking the edge of a precipice when it came to Aiden. He had no idea how much he consumed her, how much he beguiled her. She had been so sickened when she had discovered Gina, and the anger and resentment that had gnawed at her from the inside out had been overwhelming. But time lessened the pain of even the most despicable misdemeanours, and although she had not forgiven him and although she was determined to make him pay for what he had done to her friend, she found herself responding to Aiden’s lips when they found hers, because in her heart she adored him, and, if she got her way, she knew she would not have him forever…
Her response compelled him to kiss her with more fervour, as if she had deprived him of her interest for too long – which, of course, she had, and not unwittingly. But there was a need in her tonight: a need to forget everything that had happened in the past months, everything her husband was outside of the four walls they had lived happily in for a short time. Tonight, she wanted her husband, the man she had married, the father of her child, and the man who would never hurt her directly. She was tired of being frightened and tired of being alone. Tonight, she needed to exist outside of reality.
Lily gasped as Aiden’s lips found her neck and his hands skimmed her thighs, moving quickly up over her stomach to her breasts. The feel of his hands on her sent warm shivers down her spine and she relished in the enjoyment of his touch. She had not felt so alive for months.
“I hate fighting with you, baby,” Aiden whispered against her skin as his lips moved across her shoulder blade. His hands trailed down over her buttocks and with one tug, he pulled her into him. His groin against hers made them both groan with pleasure. “Don’t fight me,” he murmured breathlessly as his lips met her mouth once more.
Lily was all sensation now, letting herself go. She did not want to think; she did not want to dwell. Reaching out behind her, Aiden slammed the lounge door shut then forced her up against it. Lily was caged beneath his large frame, beneath his wandering hands and his lips, and she was utterly aroused by him. Flitting thoughts about the flats, the working girls, and Gina tried to penetrate her consciousness, but she dashed them away. She wanted this; she wanted her husband tonight. All the wrongdoing and all the worry could wait until the morning. Tonight, she wanted to be numb to it all. And that
’s what she was, numb, to everything outside of her and Aiden in that moment, outside of the sensation of his hands all over her body.
Aiden suddenly withdrew and slammed his hands on the door either side of her head. The loud slam made her start, but when she saw his carnal expression and the burning desire for her stirring in his deep blue eyes, she knew there was nothing but their love-making on his mind.
“What do you want?” he breathed.
He was leaning into her, his face inches from hers. Lily was breathless and her whole body was crying out for him to touch her again, her sex throbbing like it used to before… no, she mustn’t think of it. She numbed herself once more, and breathlessly she replied, “Kiss me… down there.”
Immediately, Aiden dropped to his knees. Then slowly and excruciatingly, he pulled open the zip of her trousers and pulled them over her hips and down her legs. Lifting her right foot, he took off her stiletto then pulled the material of her trousers down and allowed her to step out of one leg, then repeated the same process for the other. He tossed her trousers aside and looked up at her, a carnal smile creeping in at the side of his lovely mouth.
Lily squirmed as the tips of his fingers lightly ran up her ankles, her calves, over the sensitive flesh behind her knees, up and over her thighs until they settled over her buttocks. He squeezed them appreciatively.
“You’ve been working out,” he muttered.
“Yes,” Lily breathed.
“Harpers?” he asked, and her heart sank. How did he know? She had never told him. What else did he know? She started to wrack her brain to think if she had done anything, bought anything, that could raise suspicion regarding the couple of occasions she had allowed herself to lunch with Robert Wesley over the past few months, but the feel of his lips as they pressed on the flesh beside her pubic hair made her gasp, and she was suddenly all sensation once more. “The accountant told me,” he responded to her unspoken question.
“What else does your accountant tell you?” she asked, as Aiden’s lips traced the top of her pubic hair, kissing the flesh up to her belly button.
He smiled as his hands moved slowly around to her front, tapping his fingertips lightly over the waistband of her silk knickers. The anticipation was building inside of Lily and a quiet moan escaped her throat. Aiden grinned as his lips moved downwards once more as he slowly pulled down her knickers. Like the removal of her trousers, he lifted each foot to allow her to step out of them, then tossing the knickers away, he replied, “He tells me lots of things…” and rapidly moving his hands to her buttocks again, with one swift movement, he pulled her sex into his mouth.
Lily was so wrapped up in sensation that she initially forgot what he was talking about, but even so, once again, she didn’t have the will to think on it. Her head dropped back against the door, her mouth open and her breath hitching as his tongue moved over her sex with vigour, sucking and licking her until she felt the first waves of her orgasm. Her mind was a cloud of pure pleasure. She couldn’t think of anything but attempting to hold off her impending orgasm for as long as she could, because she did not want this distraction to end.
“Aiden!” she cried out.
The arousal brought about by her husband’s tongue was immense. She missed loving him, missed wanting him. And now, she wanted him everywhere. Her pleasure was building, she was panting, and when she felt Aiden’s fingers slide into her, her need and her anguish all rolled into one explosive cry. She let go, her release making her body convulse against the door, and Aiden’s fingers moved faster inside of her, prolonging her pleasure, and just when she thought she couldn’t handle much more, she felt herself building again. Aiden’s tongue lapped up her juices. He sucked and licked, licked and sucked, now more fingers filling and stretching her further. The sound of his kisses, the sound of his fingers vigorously stroking the wall of her vagina, was intoxicating. Her legs were trembling and she feared she would not be able to stand for much longer.
“Fuck, Lils!”
Aiden marvelled at her need, her passion. She was so wet, so alive and responsive. He hadn’t been able to affect her like this for what felt like an age. It was a relief. Her unresponsiveness had started to play on his mind. He had begun to gain a complex, and that hadn’t sat right with him at all. Lily cried out as she exploded again, and Aiden was keen to show her what he was capable of. He would bring her back from wherever she had been and show her exactly what she had been missing.
Standing, he wiped his mouth and nose on the cuff of his shirt then proceeded to remove his shirt, all the while keeping his eyes on his wife, who was gazing back at him, leaning helplessly against the door and breathing raggedly. As he removed his cufflinks without averting his eyes, he smirked and Lily reciprocated the gesture. He pulled off his shirt and relished how she lowered her eyes and marvelled at his exquisite body.
Lily stared hungrily at his hard chest, his six-pack and the well carved ‘v’ that started from his hips and cut deep and statue-like into his pelvis, forming two kissable trails to his manhood. She wanted to kiss him there. She leant down, but Aiden took her shoulders and set her back upright.
“No, I’m giving all the pleasure tonight.”
Taking her hips, he pulled her into him and planted a long, fervent kiss on her lips, then spun her around and walked her against the door again so that he was facing her back. Taking her buttocks into his hands, he squeezed and Lily groaned. He leant into her ear and grazed her earlobe with his teeth.
As the sensation of his teeth coursed through her highly sensitive body, Lily felt his right arm snake around her and locate her sex. She moaned as he dipped a finger inside of her and ran his wet fingers over her, making her gradually build once more. She could feel his hard chest on her back as his fingers expertly circled her sex then, suddenly, a wet finger sliding over her anus was followed by the unfamiliar sensation of his finger filling that area.
She gasped. Her initial response was to push her hips forward to escape his intrusive finger, but the sensation was too wonderful to deny and she found herself arching her back, pressing her breasts against the door and offering her backside to him.
“Good girl,” Aiden whispered, close to her ear, and immediately he pushed his finger deeper inside of her, causing her to groan loudly at the pleasure it gave her.
His fingers still arousing her sex, Lily had an overwhelming desire to have him inside her. She wanted him everywhere. She reached back and cupped her hand over his manhood. “I want you, now,” she begged through gritted teeth. She felt Aiden’s lips take her neck and it was too much sensation to bear. “Take me, please!”
Aiden withdrew his fingers from all areas of her body and, as she stood, trembling and breathless, her forehead pressed against the door, she heard the sound of his fly opening. Then his hands snaked around her waist once more and, in one fluid motion, he swung her body around, draping her over the back of the sofa and, placing one hand on her back, between her shoulder blades and grasping her hip with the other, he parted her legs with his knee and thrust into her.
Lily lay still next to Aiden in their bed. He was snoring lightly, on his side, facing her. He looked immaculate as usual, his hair all dishevelled from their rampant love-making and his beautiful face without its usual frown. He looked peaceful in sleep, but she had learned over time that Aiden had not found much peace in his life.
She glanced at the alarm clock sat on the set of drawers on Aiden’s side of the bed, which told her it was three in the morning. She had been lying there and staring at him for nearly two hours. She couldn’t compute all the thoughts that had run through her mind in that time, but she did know that she felt sick; sick with regret, with lost hope, with anger.
Her mind wandered back to the day she had broken into Gina’s flat: the squalor she had witnessed, Gina’s little silver box, her cry out for Aiden, and the information she gave her about her and Aiden’s business relationship and their personal relationship.
Gina had confirmed that he
r and Aiden’s sexual relationship had ceased before she had returned. Lily was sure that Aiden had no current sexual desire for Gina and she was certain he did not love her. And Gina seemed to know that too, though Lily was convinced that Gina still thought he cared for her. Maybe he did, in his own way. Whatever the truth, that Aiden and Gina might have an understanding beyond what she could ever comprehend was an unsavoury thought. It was almost like he was cheating, emotionally if not physically, and in many ways an emotional attachment was harder to bear.
Her mind drifted to their love-making that evening. It was good… it was more than good, but she had betrayed herself, her friend and all the other poor women he was exploiting. She was a traitor to her own sex.
How could she love someone she despised? It was true: Aiden was a different man when it came to being a husband and a father. She knew he would not do a thing to hurt her or Amy. He doted on them both. But he did have an ugly side – a dark side that she had conveniently ignored tonight so that she could pretend her marriage wasn’t an utter farce. But a farce it was. She had been tricked. Her trust had been betrayed. The man she had married, the man she saw behind closed doors, was not the man that everyone else knew.
Oh, but she loved him, and yet she had gone to the police. She had reported her own husband. Did she regret it now? No, she did not. Aiden needed to be stopped. What he was doing to those poor girls was beyond barbaric and he needed to pay for his sins.
Tears pricked her eyes. She felt immensely frustrated that the police had not found anything to link him to the flats. Her father had told her that people suspected of running large illegal operations were often difficult to charge because they have so much protection, so many minions who were paid to take the rap if the police ever came knocking. Some suspects were never charged. This thought made her stomach churn. If Aiden was never caught, if he was able to continue living this life, what chance did she have? What would she do?
Human Conditioning Page 35
