by M. Sembera
That's it. I'm getting drunk.
Chapter Three
A hard smack to the back of my head caused the throbbing in it to sting as I tried to open my eyes.
"Morning, light-weight." My sister laughed.
It took me a minute to realize that I'd passed out on the couch.
"Mom and dad are still asleep so take a quick shower and I'll take you to get your car."
"Where's my car?" I couldn't remember as I slowly sat up.
"At Grandma and Grandpa's."
Stretching my arms above my head, I stood up.
"What's it doing there?"
"You were drunk so Tansy drove you and Roe home."
I narrowed my eyes at her and shook my head.
"It’s probably best you don't remember. From what I heard, you made a real ass out of yourself last night."
With a heavy sigh and a splitting headache, I walked to my old room to get some clothes and then take shower.
The water felt good. I must have fallen a few times last night because I was filthy. Talk about a home coming. First, Tansy says she wants to be friends and then I get... And that's when it hit me. I remembered walking back to the party and filling up my cup a few more times. I remembered talking to Joie during the break between sets and teasing her about wearing Palmer's shirt when a few of her friends walked up. One of the girls asked if Tansy and I were together. That's when my inner asshole came out.
Wren dropped me in front of our grandparent's house, laughing the whole time about leaving me there to deal with Tansy on my own; she's a real sweetheart like that. Meanwhile, I was wishing I had more than one set of keys so I could have picked up my car without having to see her, because I'm a real coward like that.
My sister drove away just about the time the front door opened.
"Hey."
Tansy gave me a 'just go and die' look as she walked off, leaving the door open for me.
"Hey!" I called after her, following her into the kitchen.
She picked my keys up off the counter and threw them at me, fussing, "Why didn't you just say you didn't want to be friends?"
Catching my keys as they hit the center of my chest, I replied, "I do want to be friends."
"Of course, that's why you spent the rest of the night dragging me around, obnoxiously introducing me to strangers as your friend."
I was wrong for that.
"And the reason you waved your hands around in the air while shouting, 'Back up off me, girl, we're just friends' when I accidentally bumped your arm?"
I actually forgot about that one.
"Oh, no. I know. The real clincher to our friendship was when you got on stage, took the mic and said, 'Any takers, ladies?' then pointed to me as you informed everyone that it was cool because we're just friends."
I'm never drinking again.
"What in the hell is wrong with you?"
I knew there was no excuse but I tried anyway. "I don't usually drink."
With a disgusted look on her face, she shook her head at me.
In all honesty, I didn't want to be friends with her, but the last thing in this world I wanted was for her to hate me.
"Where are Grandma and Grandpa?"
"At a luncheon," she spouted as she started to leave the room.
"You didn't miss me."
She stopped and looked up at me. "I said last night that I did."
"You said you missed your family," I corrected, staring down into her eyes.
"You're part of my family."
I had to stop for a minute and decide if I really wanted to say what I wanted to say.
I figured what the hell, I’d already made an ass of myself with her. I might as well put the final nail in this coffin.
"I wanted you to miss me different."
Instead of confirming that she did, or setting me straight, Tansy closed her eyes and leaned her head down.
A million different things ran through my mind but all that would come out of my mouth was, "I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry, First." Then she looked back up at me. "Unless you're talking about how you acted last night. You should definitely be sorry about that."
"I can do friends, I swear. I just wasn't expecting it, that's all."
She appeared curious as she questioned, "What were you expecting?"
That was a loaded question that I didn’t plan on going anywhere near.
"What were you expecting?" I countered, trying to turn the conversation around.
Raising her eyebrows at me, she stated, "Friendship. I thought I was pretty clear on that."
Damn it. I knew that.
"More than a head nod," I shared, hoping she understood without me having to go into too much detail.
The truth of it was, I didn’t know what I expected. I only knew what I wanted the second I saw her.
Without any kind of warning, Tansy wrapped her arms around my waist and pressed her cheek against my chest.
"I missed you," she whispered as I held her close.
I thought I missed her but I had no idea how much until she was in my arms.
"Why did you wait so long to come home?"
Her arms started to loosen from around me as she replied, "I thought it was better if I didn't."
"There's nothing better than having you here."
Without warning she pulled away completely, and asked, "Hey, can you take me to Joie's?" as if we weren't just having a moment.
We were having a moment, weren't we? I sure as hell was.
As we pulled up to Joie's, I wondered if she and Tansy had formed a friendship over some common ground. I couldn't remember them ever hanging out together before even though Joie grew up with us. She lived with her mom and dad, except her mom didn't always stay with them. It was a strange situation but it never seemed to bother her. Whenever her mom would disappear she would just laugh and use finger quotes to say her parents were on a 'break'. I guess if you grow up that way, what we all found weird was normal to her.
Now that I was stopped in the driveway, and Tansy was getting out of the car, I wished I had taken the opportunity to talk to her more on the way.
"I'll see you later?" she questioned, leaning through the open passenger door.
There was a hopeful look in her eyes that made me smile. She smiled back at me and I could feel the anticipation of seeing her again already building.
I didn't have time to dwell on it though. As soon as she stepped away, Roe slid into my car through the open door. I wanted to watch Tansy as she made her way up to Joie's house but the fact that my cousin had seated himself in my car distracted me.
"Give me a lift home?" he said, half like a question and the other half as a demand.
He was wearing slacks and an undershirt, holding the button-down shirt he'd worn the night before in one hand.
"What were you doing over here?"
Without hesitation, he replied, "Joie."
"No, seriously." I started to laugh when I noticed the expression on his face. "Seriously?"
Roe leaned the seat back and closed his eyes.
"Does Palmer know?"
"No."
"He's going to kill you when he finds out."
"He won't."
"How's that?"
"You gonna tell him?"
"No."
"That's how."
Well, okay then.
Roe wasn't a talkative guy. I always wondered if what happened had something to do with that, he never talked about the day we lost Will and Grandma Sarah either. He had a few witty moments, here and there, but mostly he was cold when it came to just about everything.
I was still hungover and seeing Tansy this morning had my head spinning more than it should have been. That didn't change the fact that Roe was sleeping with one of our own. The more I thought about it, the more questions I had. By the time we pulled into his neighborhood, I couldn't keep quiet about it.
"So, you and Joie?"
Without opening his eyes, he repl
ied, "No, there's me, then there's Joie."
"You said y'all were together."
"Not what I said."
"Friends with benefits?"
"It works for us."
"Seems wrong."
"Would you feel better if she was my cousin?" Roe questioned, cracking a smile as I pulled into his driveway.
"Shut the hell up," I grumbled, waiting for him to get out of my car.
Opening the passenger door, he asked, "You comin' tonight?"
"What's tonight?"
"Outside Night."
You have got to be kidding me...
Chapter Four
When we were about twelve years old, the six of us got together and convinced the grownups to let us have Outside Night to kick off the summer. At the time, it seemed like a big deal, like we were roughing it in the wilderness. Really, we were just on the other side of Uncle Braden's shop playing hide-and-go-seek, trying to scare each other and eating junk food until we passed out on the trampoline in our sleeping bags. It became a yearly tradition but for some reason, I figured it stopped when I left for collage.
Fast forward eight years and I'm hiding in my Aunt Liv's shrubs because paint ball guns were added to boys vs girls hide-and-seek and Wren was like a damn sniper with a grudge. I'd already been hit once in the leg and I wasn't looking forward to the final kill shot she was famous for.
"Psst... Hey."
Ducking my head down, I squeezed my eyes closed.
"I can still see you with your eyes closed." Tansy giggled.
I thought maybe she could be reasoned with.
"I'll give you twenty bucks if you don't give me up."
Her shadow crept closer as she questioned, "Are you bribing me?"
"Hell yea, make it thirty."
As her shoes came into sight, I scooted back and raised my gun. "Fifty?"
"I'm not going to give you up."
Shifting to the side, I tried to see her face through the shrubs.
"Boo!" Joie shouted right behind me causing me to lose my balance and fall over.
When I scrambled back up, two guns were pointed right at me.
I shook my head at myself because I should have known better. They set me up.
"You know the rules. Surrender and you get to pick your hit," Joie taunted with a smile on her face.
I was trying to decide when there was a loud pop and Joie dropped her gun.
They both looked to the left as Joie shouted, "Bastard! That hurt," grabbed her hip and limped away.
Tansy was still looking to her left. I could hear Roe laughing and took my chance. I grabbed the bottom of her shirt and pulled her down.
"You set me up," I griped, practically wrestling her to the ground.
With both of our paint ball guns just out of reach, I pinned her down and held her hands high above her head.
Leaning over her, I shared, "See what you get for being sneaky."
"Stupid, Roe. I almost had you." She laughed.
Her laugh vibrated against me and I realized how close we were to each other.
In the moment, I leaned a little closer. "Now, I have you."
She relaxed under me, her expression slowly starting to change.
I had every intention of kissing her until I heard a pop, followed by a burning sensation between my shoulder blades.
"Son of a bitch!"
Letting go of Tansy, I heard my sister call out Roe as I stood up.
Still on her back, Tansy asked, "You okay?"
"Yea," I replied, helping her up and dusting the dirt off the both of us.
I wasn't though, not by a long shot.
While Wren and Roe were locked into a standoff, Palmer and Joie walked up.
"Your damn sister double-tapped me right in the breather." He complained before saying, "I'm going into the house to get a beer. Y'all want one?"
"Nah, I'm good."
After Tansy shook her head at Palmer, he and Joie headed up to the house.
The air around us settled into an awkward silence and I couldn't even look at her.
"Are you really okay?"
No.
"It just stings."
That was sort of the truth.
"First..."
I glanced at her when she said my name.
"Look at me, First."
Forcing myself to look down into her eyes, guilt washed over me. I shouldn't want her. I almost kissed her.
Tansy reached for my hand, "You want to go for a walk?"
Instead of accepting her hand, I shook my head and walked over to Roe who had obviously lost, judging by the paint splatter covering his shoulder.
The rest of the night was uneventful, and segregated. Tansy sat with Joie and Wren on the trampoline while I sat off to the side with Palmer and Roe. The trampoline wasn't big enough for the six of us to sleep on without us all being squished together anymore, which was just as well. The only one there I wanted to be next to, I shouldn't. So, when Wren insisted the girls get the trampoline because they won hide-and-seek, we caved and slept on the ground.
Chapter Five
About the time the sun came up, Aunt Liv was hollering for us to come in and eat breakfast. Bacon, eggs, and French toast were waiting for us on the table as we dragged into the house.
"I'm goin' to bed," Palmer announced, after snagging a piece of French toast and a few slices of bacon.
"You have an appointment at two," Aunt Liv notified as he gave her a thumbs up while heading to his room.
Roe was next to bail on breakfast.
Grabbing a few pieces of French toast with a napkin, he asked, "Okay if I take this to the shop?"
Aunt Liv nodded. "Sure, Braden's already out there."
Then it was Wren and Joie.
"Thanks, but we gotta get going," Wren shared before Joie apologized, "Sorry, if I'm late for work again, I'm gonna get fired."
"Alright, y'all be careful."
Shaking her head as they left, she looked over at me and Tansy.
Pulling out a chair, I assured, "I'm staying. Your French toast is the best."
"Damn right it is," she said with a wink. "Tansy, you gonna eat?"
"Yes, ma'am," Tansy replied with a wide smile. "I never turn down your food."
Aunt Liv smiled back. "Y'all know where everything is, clean up when you're done. I've gotta go meet Penny."
Both of us nodded, filling our plates as she left.
Lost in the best breakfast I'd had since the last time I was down, I didn't notice Tansy glaring at me until she started griping at me.
"What is your problem?"
Glancing down at my plate first, I looked over at her and reminded, "I always put syrup on my eggs."
She narrowed her eyes at me and made a noise before starting to eat.
"What's your problem?" I questioned back at her.
Keeping her focus on her plate, she replied, "I'm not the one with the problem."
It didn’t look that way from this side of the table.
"Me neither."
Tossing her fork down onto her plate, she snapped, "What was up with last night then?"
Stopping mid bite, I stared at her.
"Is this because I wouldn't go for a walk with you?"
"No. It's because you've been acting weird ever since you got here."
I know, I'm working on it.
"No, I haven't."
With a short exhale, she shared, "I was really nervous about coming home. But everyone seemed happy I was here, until you got back."
I was practically choking on the swell of guilt rising in my chest as I lied, "You're just being paranoid."
Pushing away from the table, she looked like I hurt her feelings.
"I take it back. I don't want to be friends with you."
"Whatever." I shrugged and continued to eat my breakfast.
I knew she was standing there staring at me, I could feel it, but I refused to look at her.
I had no idea what in the hell I was doing,
blowing her off like that. I'm not an asshole. I swear. I'm a nice guy, sweet even, but every time I look at her, I want to touch her. Every time I think about touching her, I want to kiss her. Then I think about our first kiss...
"Do you want me to kiss you?" I asked, setting the book I was reading down on the desk beside my bed.
"I wanna know what it's like."
"You've never kissed anyone before?"
"Well, yea, but..."
"But what?"
She leaned closer.
"I wanna know what it's like to kiss you."
I shouldn't have kissed her. It was wrong. I did though, and the memory of it was starting to piss me off.
My plate was empty and I heard the sink turn on. Looking up from the table, I saw Tansy standing in the kitchen washing dishes. Walking my plate to the sink, I knew I needed to apologize.
"I didn't mean that the way it came out."
Snatching the plate from my hand, she snapped, "How did you mean it then?"
I have no idea.
"What I meant was, if you want to be friends, we're friends. If not, then we won't be."
Well, that sounded stupid as hell...
"That's it? It's that simple for you."
"Do you want it to be hard for me?"
Setting my plate in the drying rack, she gave me a dirty look.
"I can't believe what an asshole you grew up to be."
Yea, me neither.
Lying on the couch at my parents' house, I debated on whether to take a nap or continue to torture myself with thoughts of Tansy. She completely ignored me after calling me an asshole and wouldn't even let me give her a ride home. Not that I blame her, I just didn't want it to be like that.
I figured I could torture myself later and closed my eyes. Just about the time I started to doze off, I heard my parents' bedroom door open. A nap still seemed like it might happen until I heard my mom giggle. Barely opening my eyes, I saw them beside the bar that divided the kitchen from the living room. My dad was standing behind my mom, running his hand up the side of her thigh.
"Your son is right here," I informed.
"Good morning, First," mom greeted with a smile.
Rubbing my face with my hands, I sat up.
Dad scowled at me before asking, "Somethin' on your mind?"
Damn, was it that obvious?
