by M. Sembera
Rolling my eyes at her, I griped, “Glad you’re on board.”
“Hell yea, I am. You think I like hanging out with mom, Aunt Liv and Aunt Penny, because of your dumbass.”
“Could have fooled me.”
Giving me a hateful glare, she fussed, “I’m glad you think it’s cute to come home and start a bunch of shit then leave. I’m always here with mom and dad, me not you.”
“That’s your choice.”
“I’m not sayin’ I want things any other way. This is where I want to be but you need to recognize that you’re just a visitor now.”
Feeling like she was pushing every one of my buttons, I griped, “Is that why you took Tansy’s side over mine?”
“When did I do that?”
I shook my head at her. “Both you and Joie did.”
Wren stared at me for a second before standing up.
“Is this about the address? News flash, jackass, we didn’t give it to you because neither of us have it.”
“And the road trip?” I reminded her with a smirk, ready for her to fess us.
Looking up, she blew out a loud breath.
“I guess you forgot I get carsick on long trips. And, I’m sure it never occurred to you that Joie didn’t want to be the only girl going.”
I actually did forget that, and I could understand how Joie might feel that way.
Flipping her hair over her shoulder as she stood there in my room, Wren glared at me.
“Any other conspiracy theories you’d like resolved?”
Not quite ready to throw in the towel with her, I replied, “What’s with the solidarity thing then? That’s real. I know it is. Tansy got the book from Aunt Liv.”
“Yes, First, it is a real thing but it has nothing to do with you or any other guy. Solidarity Sisters is about lifting other women up by supporting each other’s decisions, being there to listen to problems and providing positive solutions to daily struggles, not whatever your twisted mind decided it was.”
On that note, I couldn’t help feeling like the biggest asshole in town.
“I only did it with them because mom did all those things for me growing up and I felt like I should pay it forward or something.”
Scratch that, the whole county, possibly the state.
Wren sat back down on the foot of my bed as I hung my head feeling really ashamed of myself for only thinking about myself.
“I should have stayed where I was at and worked through the summer again.”
Glancing up I watched a compassionate expression cross her face. “No, you should have been coming home for the summer and for Christmas’ too.
Nodding at her, I shared, “She said she doesn’t want to miss me anymore.”
“Do you like missing her?”
With a slight shrug, I answered, “Kind of, I feel like I’ve made a career out of it at this point.”
Wren looked as though she was about to laugh.
“What do you like more, missing her or being with her.”
“Being with her.”
After scowling at me for a moment she shared, “My favorite story about mom and dad is the one where dad flew all the way to Spain for her.”
“I always liked that one too.”
“Do you know why it’s my favorite?” I shook my head at her before she continued, “It makes love seem simple. He wanted to be with her, it didn’t matter where, as long as they were together.”
Giving her a half-hearted smile, I assured, “It’s not though.”
“That’s why I said ‘seem’, stupid,” she spat at me before changing her tone as she offered, “But what if when it’s real it is that simple.”
“I thought you didn’t believe in that kind of thing?”
Giving me a huge eye roll as she stood up, Wren insisted, “I don’t. I was just sayin’.”
I understood what she was saying, and appreciated her for it but there was no way I was going to pass up an opportunity to tease her.
“Did you meet someone special?”
“No.”
“Is it the roughneck?”
Scrunching up her entire face, she snapped, “Hell, no.”
“You sure? It kind of sounds like someone has your heart all aflutter.”
Wren was getting so pissed at me her face began to get red splotches all over it.
Smiling at her, I taunted, “Are you blushing?”
That pushed her right over the edge as she growled something incomprehensible that I’m sure included curse words at me before storming out of my room and slamming my door.
An hour later, I stopped by her room to thank her for being a good sister and to make sure she wasn’t planning to stab me in my sleep.
As I was making my way back to my room, I saw my mom standing in the kitchen. I didn’t want to leave with her mad at me.
Walking around the bar, I stepped next to her. “Mom.”
Without looking up from her coffee, she stated, “First.”
“I love you, mom,” I shared as I practically forced her into a hug.
It was a good feeling having her hug me back.
She let go of me, assuring, “I love you too,” with a smile.
I smiled back and it seemed like the perfect time to make things right with her.
“Tansy’s coming back today.”
Raising her eyebrows in surprise, she questioned, “She is?”
“Yea, she’s coming to dinner at Aunt Penny’s.”
She just stood there staring at me like she was waiting for the catch.
“We’re not going to see each other except for tomorrow night at dinner.”
“Oh, you’re not?”
Shaking my head at her, I replied, “We agreed not to see each other anymore.”
Technically, I just lied to her but since Tansy said she didn’t want to see me and I agreed, what I said was sort the truth.
“So that’s it, you’re just done with her?” she snapped at me.
“What?”
“Is that what you do? Just give up on someone because you’re not getting your way?”
Where the hell did that come from?
“I thought you’d be happy. Isn’t that what you wanted?”
Mom started to say something then stopped as my dad walked in.
Storming out of the kitchen, she shouted, “Augustus, you better have a talk with your son!”
Dad scowled at me before grabbing a Guinness out of the refrigerator and letting out a deep sigh.
Turning to me, he griped, “Boy, what in the hell did you do now?”
“Nothing,” I blurted before explaining, “All I said was Tansy and I are over and she flipped out.”
Appearing confused, he informed, “We kinda figured that when you came back empty handed.”
“Then why is she mad?” I questioned.
“You tell me?”
As he stared at me waiting for an answer, I decided to tell him about Palmer’s idea.
“You and mom, Aunt Liv and Uncle Braden, Aunt Penny and Uncle Seth are all fighting because I left to go see Tansy. Then, we screwed y’all over with Roe’s strategy, so Palmer thought that if Tansy came back for my going away dinner everyone would be together again and things could go back to normal. You know, show y’all we’re still a family.”
Dad opened his beer and took a sip before running his hand down the front of his beard.
“You kids sure are going through a lot of trouble for nothin’, I sorta appreciate the effort though,” he replied, appearing as though he was about to laugh.
“What do you mean?”
“First, this isn’t the first time your mom and I have gotten into it, it won’t be the last time either, and you can bet the same goes for your aunts and uncles.”
“I know, but…” I started before he cut me off, saying, “But nothin’. None of us have stayed married this long by havin’ other people solve our problems for us.”
Nodding at him, there wasn’t much for me to say
after that.
“As for being a family, when did we stop?”
I shrugged my shoulders at him and answered, “I thought everything with me and Tansy messed things up and I wanted to fix it.”
“You wanna do something productive? Try pullin’ your head outta your ass. I think we’d all be happy about that.”
Chapter Twenty-Four
All day I had been telling myself the same thing. Tansy was going to walk through my Aunt Penny’s front door. I wasn’t going to think about how soft and warm her lips were. I was going to smile and say hello. We were going to have a delicious family dinner and everything was going to be fine. I wasn’t going to remind myself about how much it hurt to wake up with her gone, and I definitely wasn’t going to imagine running my hand in between her thighs. I was going to be glad that she was home where she belongs, and grateful that we were all together as a family.
Standing in Roe’s back yard with him and Palmer, I knew every damn word I’d told myself all day long was a lie.
“You need to relax, man,” Palmer stated before handing me a beer. “Only one though so we don’t have pasture party repeat.”
“Thanks,” I sarcastically replied while taking it.
Roe appeared concerned as he questioned, “Are you going to be okay?”
“Yea, I can handle it.”
Palmer shook his head at me.
“You’re barely holdin’ on now.”
“I said…”
Before I could finish my sentence, I saw Tansy walk into the back yard with Joie and Wren.
My chest began to ache in a familiar and strangely comforting way. The feeling wasn’t unexpected but at the same time, my reaction to it was. Somewhere in the middle of my pained desperation to be with her it occurred to me that she felt the exact same way. She was noticeably struggling not to look in my direction and when she finally gave in, those hazel eyes of hers gave her away. She would always miss me, just like I would always miss her.
Dinner started off slow and fairly quiet for one of our family gatherings.
“Um, I know this is First’s party, but I wanted to say something,” Tansy announced, causing everyone in the room to look over at her.
Tucking her hair behind her ear, she glanced around the room with a soft smile on her face.
“When my mom left me here the day before my birthday almost fourteen years ago you didn’t have to make me feel like I was loved and wanted but you did. So, I just wanted to say thank you.”
My mom reached over and hugged her as everyone else expressed how happy they were that she was part of the family.
Tansy could have easily been talking to everyone in the room. It was definitely a broad enough statement. But the second she glanced in my direction, I thought about a seven-year-old boy standing in his aunt’s library holding a girl he’d just met while she cried. I smiled at her and nodded, feeling good about the moment, even though I had to share it with everyone here.
After that, the conversation picked up. Everyone was laughing and joking with each other just like all our other family dinners. Until, Aunt Penny brought out the pineapple upside down cake she made. Joie abruptly excused herself from the table saying she was going to be sick, then turned and lost her dinner all over Palmer. Even though it ruined dessert for everyone, I can’t say I didn’t find it a little funny after the fact. Especially because Aunt Liv reached over and smacked him on the back of the head for cursing at the dinner table when it happened.
Once everything and everyone was cleaned up, we all began to say our goodbyes for the evening. Somehow I kept missing Tansy in the shuffle. When I caught sight of her slipping out the front door, I decided this was my chance. I wanted to hug her or at least get the opportunity to say goodbye this time.
I walked out of my aunt and uncle’s house and looked around. She was standing at the end of the driveway by her car. As I made my way in her direction, I wanted to run up behind her, scoop her up into my arms, kiss her, take her home with me or just hold on to her. Instead, I opted to tap her on the shoulder instead.
Tansy whipped around, appearing startled at first.
“Oh, hey,” she blurted with her hand on her chest before settling into more relaxed disposition.
“Hell of a summer, huh?”
A smile spread across her face as she agreed, “Definitely one for the books.”
“So,” I stated trying to keep from reaching out and touching her.
“So,” she repeated as she tucked her hair behind her ears.
“Are you back for good this time?”
Shrugging a shoulder at me, she replied, “Unless I get a better offer.”
I stared at her confused until she shook her head and started to laugh.
Smiling, she assured, “I don’t think I’ll be leaving again any time soon.”
“That’s good.”
There were so many things I wanted to say to her. I was about to reach for her hand when Joie and Palmer walked up behind us.
Joie looked awful as she hung on Palmer’s side and asked, “Can you take me home?” in a week voice.
Nodding, Tansy walked to the drive’s side of her car as Palmer helped Joie into the passenger seat.
Palmer stepped away from the car and stood next to me as we watched them drive away.
“You alright, man?”
Shrugging, I turned back towards the house.
“It is what it is.”
Patting me on the back he offered, “Wanna see if Roe wants to hang with the big boys tonight?”
“I think you’ve gotten him in enough trouble already,” I laughed.
“Yea, you may be right.”
Shaking my head at him, I suggested, “I bet Aunt Penny won’t mind if we stay here.”
Palmer flashed a wide smile and nodded as we headed back inside.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Aunt Penny was more excited than any grown woman should have been at her nineteen-year-old son having a ‘sleep-over’ as she kept calling it. Uncle Seth practically had to force her to stop offering us stuff. Although, I was glad that was after the brownies and caramel walnut popcorn were made.
We sat around watching old movies and poked fun at each other, the majority of jokes being at Palmer’s expense for getting thrown up on. Roe didn’t seem as talkative as he had been lately, which in itself wasn’t a lot. He may have been worried about Joie. I know Palmer was. He texted her about every fifteen minutes to check on her for about two hours until Tansy answered for her and said she fell asleep. There was a plus side to leaving, I didn’t want to be here when Palmer found out about them. Around here, things don’t stay secret for long.
Palmer had already fallen asleep and Roe didn’t look like he was far behind. I was about to lean my head back and do the same when my cell phone vibrated in my pocket.
T: Hey, are you still up?
My jaw twitched as I held back a smile.
F: Yea?
T: I didn’t mean to bail on you like that earlier. I just wanted to get Joie home.
F: I figured.
T: Bet your ready to get out of here.
I wasn’t sure how to answer that. I was ready but not all that excited about it.
F: The weather’s a little cooler there.
It took her a minute to text back.
T: Okay, well, I realized I left without saying goodbye.
I wanted to say something smart about that seeing as this would have been a first.
F: We could meet up tomorrow, if you’re not busy.
Say yes. Say yes.
T: I’m taking Joie to the doctor.
F: All day?
I considered calling her instead of communicating over text message. I wanted to hear the indecision in her voice. I needed to know that she was struggling.
T: I’ll see you at Christmas.
Letting out a slow breath of disappointment, I stared at her answer.
F: Unless you get a better offer, right?
Sh
e never texted back. That was the end of our conversation.
For hours, I sat in the recliner unable to sleep, going over every mistake I made with her. Then, I recalled all the moments that were right between us even if it was only temporary. I couldn’t agree with her that this summer was beautiful but it did answer almost every question I had from the time I was fifteen. She pretty much nailed it with her tattoo. The friendship symbol that had us forever going in opposite directions. Her permanent memento of the brief time we were us. My chest burned at the thought in the same time my heart thumped with inspiration.
Hopping out of the chair, I stepped to Palmer asleep on the love-seat and gave him a nudge.
“Hey, get up.”
Without opening his eyes, he griped, “What time is it?”
“It’s about five-thirty.”
“No.”
I nudged him again, this time a bit harder as he tried to roll over on the small couch.
“Get up.”
Swinging himself into a sitting position, he rubbed his hands against his eyes and scratched at the sides of his beard, griping, “What the hell do you want?”
“Still want to give me some ink?”
Instantly awake Palmer smiled wide.
“Hell yea, we can go right now.”
Even though I thought it was odd for him to be that excited about it, I hoped he was still as psyched when I told him what I wanted.
“That’s not necessary.”
Narrowing his eyes at me, he questioned, “What are you thinkin’ about gettin’?”
“I want the one you did for Tansy right here,” I replied, patting the left side of my chest.”
On his feet, he fussed, “No. Hell, no. That’s not a tattoo. You’re talkin’ about gettin’ a damn mark.”
“All summer long you’ve been on me to get one and now your saying no?”
“I ain’t sayin’ no,” Palmer stressed. “I’ll give you the tattoo and I’ll put it anywhere you want, but there.”
“Come on, man. You’re the next family marker, anyway.”
Shaking his head at me, he informed, “I am when Aunt Penny says I am.”
“You’re scared of Aunt Penny?” I taunted, hoping his pride might change his mind for me.
