by P. S. Power
“You hit Nate?” Vickie sounded horrified, as if Dave had kicked a puppy or something, not tapped a grown man.
Yeah, he'd been out of line, sure, and worse, wrong, but it fit his temperament. It wasn't lost on Jake that the guy had “hit” their leader. With a fist. Not shooting him with a gun even though he had one on him all the time. Given everything that was almost like restraint.
Intense, nearly psychotic restraint, but still. Jake looked at Vickie and nodded.
“Yes. He did think that Nate was going to force her out into the zombie infected night at the time, which was ridiculous, but he did it. Took Nate all the way out of his chair.” Jake held up a hand towards the boy.
“Don't smile about it. Just hang your head and promise not to do it again, even if you don't mean it. Really, you should mean it, but for now at least make us all think so. And if you haven't, when you go back, make sure you apologize to him. Mean it too. He reads minds you know.”
Dave did hang his head then, and looked more somber than he normally did.
“Yeah, um, I don't mean it though. How am I supposed to fake my thoughts?”
Sammi answered from the stove, where she was working away, stirring again. Whatever she was making really smelled great. Better than what they normally got by a good bit.
“Think about what you should be feeling. In this case remorse for what you've done. You don't have to feel the emotion to know what you did was wrong for the group. I think Nathanial will accept that you're trying to think about how to improve what you do and understand that you intend to do so in the future.”
“OK. I... can try that. What's it like? Remorse I mean, or feeling bad about things?” He glanced at everyone, but no one had a real answer for him.
How did you describe the color blue to a blind person? Jake had nothing. Oddly enough Billi spoke softly.
“It doesn't really matter. Not now. Just fix what you do wrong and it will be enough. Remorse, fear, even anger, these are just ways nature has to make us take action, when we might not think things through properly. Listen to Jake and Nate and that woman... The other cleaner? I don't know her name, but they won't steer you wrong. When in doubt, ask someone.” The dark woman, still dangerously thin looking kept pulling little nuts out of the cone in her hand, a small, but tidy pile developing.
“Really, if you don't feel emotion, or only things like anger, it's best to let other people guide you, even if it is difficult sometimes. Just pick your people well.”
Everyone but Sammi stared at her for a bit. Finally Jake grinned.
“What she said.”
Billi smiled at him and then the boys, but avoided eye contact with Vickie for some reason. Jake noticed that, but didn't understand why. Some kind of dominance thing? Or, well, maybe Billi thought Vickie was just hot? He really didn't know her that well yet. For that matter he didn't even know where the other women had gotten to.
After a few minutes of idle chatter, he decided to go and check, just to make certain they were all feeling OK.
Kara was in the second bedroom, with a sewing project laid out on the bed. She looked up when she saw him and winced, as if he'd caught her smoking dope behind the high school gym. From the size of what she was making it seemed to be doll clothes, or baby gear. The material wasn't the nicest, but had a good teal color to it. Jake pointed to it with a single finger, a small smile on his face, not speaking. Her voice came after a bit, shyly, as if she expected a beating or something.
“It's for Holly. Then I need to do some for Karen. Rita has the others but needed some help and I used to sew as a hobby. Nothing fancy really. I don't have to, I don't want to be a burden here. I just thought...” Trailing off she seemed worried.
Jake grinned at her.
“Great, that's a valid use of time. Maybe you can show me how to sew too, later. I should learn. Plus shoe making. We're all going to need those and no one's even tried that yet. Smithing first for me, but in the evenings you can teach me this?” He waved at the pieces on the bed. No pattern, which was way different than what he'd done in Home-Ec class in high school.
“Um, sure. It's not hard or anything. So, it's alright? Really? I'm not just being lazy?”
“No, you're good. This is fine. I need to look in on the others, so they don't think I love you best. Keep up the good work.” He patted her shoulder gently, which got her to wince, and then she looked half ready to cry for some reason.
“I'm sorry. I...” She didn't say anything else.
“Don't worry about it. I understand. Not taking it personally or anything.” He really did, in a way. Enough trauma long enough would do that. Make you afraid of things that weren't a threat. He tensed up every time he had to enter a house still, didn't he?
Jill was busy scrubbing the bathroom. The way she was going after it Jake was almost worried for its life. She looked up at him with a sponge, a large yellow one, in her hand, having been scrubbing the floor under the large four footed bathtub.
“Hey Jake. Need the room?” She started to get up.
“Nope, just came to make sure you didn't need anything. All good here?” He waved at the room, which looked a lot cleaner than it had. He'd kind of thought the floor was a cream color, but now it looked white.
Ah.
“I'm good. George might need some help though. She found a wood stove in the barn and she's trying to set it up in the living room, so we have heat from both sides of the house. We haven't wanted to complain, but it gets cold at night. You have enough wood... We do I mean.”
“We do?”
“Oh, sure. The rule for a place this size is about eight cords per winter. You have about twelve already. We can get more too, if we need to. We probably should, since I like hot baths myself.”
That, was good to know actually. Jake had felt pretty uncertain before. He waved silently to the woman who turned back to scrubbing on hands and knees. It made him feel all lazy, watching her work, so he headed to check on the last of the crew and then decided to go see if he could find something more useful to do himself. It was getting late, but even a patrol might help.
Or something. He could clean the living room maybe? It had carpet, but he could sweep it, right? If they were going to actually use the space.
George was having some trouble getting the black metal stove pipe in place, but that was something he'd done a few times, so working together it got done in about five minutes. It was a case where having just an extra set of hands really helped.
“Should have just asked. It's hard. I keep expecting you to throw me down and fuck me. Corner me alone or something. I know you said, but... It's hard to remember sometimes. I'll try though.”
Jake made a face and shook his head.
Then changed the topic.
“Say, George, could you tell me where you were all staying and what you passed on the way? I... um, want to know if you saw any stores that hadn't been totally looted. Clothing, furniture, toys even.” Plus where Holsom was, but that didn't get mentioned. He acted like the information was just a starting point. No huge thing.
If he moved quietly and with a small group, he could go and kill the man and be back in a few days. Even in the snow. Forty miles would be slow going though, on foot. He needed to work out the details, didn't he?
“It's going to be Christmas soon and I think people could use a little cheer, don't you?”
For some reason just saying that earned him a hug. Not a big one, but real enough.
Jake smiled.
Chapter Nine
Going back to the House was a lot trickier than Jake figured it would be. The hunting had been good, mainly because there was no competition in the area and the farms had a lot of livestock still running loose. The main problem was that they had to return Vickie, who hadn't slept with him the night before, which was less than stellar, but kind of expected in his world. It hadn't been her choice, but Sammi totally cock blocking him.
On purpose.
It seemed like it t
o him at least.
She'd insisted that she and Vickie share the bed in the kitchen, for the sake of propriety. It was bull of course, but Vickie had just chuckled and agreed. That meant that Jake had to sleep on the sofa alone. Yeah, they could have stuck the girl in the living room, but it was cold and she wasn't very big. Or he could have moved the sofa, if that had occurred to him before he got out of the cocoon of blankets and quilts in the morning. It would have at least been warm.
The new wood stove couldn't be used until the chimney was cleaned, it turned out. Which meant going on the roof, which meant the snow clearing for a bit first, since dying wasn't his favorite thing to do at all. The whole sleeping arrangement wasn't wonderful though. With a stove in there, they could put the girl on the sofa instead.
Not a huge disaster or anything, but Vickie kept saying they were dating and had told people that. She'd even offered to have sex with him. It was exciting. Oh, he'd suck at it, no doubt, but even bad sex had to beat the absolutely nothing he'd done so far in life.
The hard thing though was that they had to take everyone back with them, except that Sammi was kind of being kept away as a punishment. They couldn't leave her without some serious backup though. Just in case an attack came. The other women wanted to be where he was for some strange reason and Vickie, realizing she had actual work to do, wanted to get back to it.
In the end Jake just decided they should all go and screw the punishment.
“If you attack anyone I'm going to...” Jake started then stopped and shrugged. “Then I'm going to be disappointed in you.” He finished, knowing it was lame.
She looked down at the floor, visibly shaken.
“I know. I won't.”
“OK then.”
Jake didn't let himself smile. It was actually important after all.
It took everyone to get the cart to the House and even without zombies attacking it would have been the hardest trip he'd ever made between the two points. Jake pulled and pushed hard, and the cart slid and moved to the side as much as forward most of the time. Three miles took nearly six hours of frustrating work, meaning they got in mid-afternoon. So no lunch for them. They'd live, but it wasn't fun. Jake shrugged and took the women into the kitchen anyway.
“Lois, could you get something for everyone to eat? I can skip, but...” Really, he didn't want the others to go hungry if they could help it, especially after all their hard work. They were too close to starvation for that, not if something could be arranged. If nothing else they could cook up some of the meat they'd brought. That and potatoes is what they got. Jake didn't get any, and neither did Vickie or Sam, but the rest did, and sat, looking guilty as they ate.
Lois looked at him and shook her head a little, then glanced at Sammi.
“So... do I get my helper back now?” Her tone was firm, but it was still a question.
Given that the attack had taken place here and that Jake didn't want the girl to freak out and do it again, he decided on no.
“Today she's on the forge with me until dark. Bellows, unless... do you know how to do blacksmithing? If so...”
“Nope. I can learn though.” She sounded almost happy about the idea. For now at least.
Jake moved fast. Most of what they could get done today would just be set up for the next day, getting the metal and coals around, setting the fire to last over night so they got a chance at an early start the next day and making sure the tools were all in place. He'd brought the ones he'd made, and everything was as he'd left it. The coal bin got filled and a few other small chores done as they lost the light. That meant dinner time.
Yay.
He was freaking starving. Jake kept Sammi with him through the meal, but waved Cam over after it, which took big movements.
“Alright, Cam, can you sleep with me and Vickie tonight? I know I can't keep Sammi from sneaking off, she's too good in the dark, but someone being killed next to me should wake me up quick enough.” He glanced at Vickie who just shrugged.
Really, he should have asked first, it being her bed and all. Cam took a deepish breath, but agreed easily enough. He'd worried about that, but it seemed that being a “Very Good Man” actually meant something in her book and she felt safe enough with him. Was that what trust was like? It felt odd.
Plus, really, he had an ulterior motive. It wasn't too creepy to get a teen girl into his bed for that, was it? Probably. Oh well. It had to be done.
More to the point, he got to get two good looking women into bed with him. Sure, not for sex, but hey, could he afford to be picky? He didn't think so, but Sammi sure did. She said so in no uncertain terms and reminded him that Cam could teleport him away at a moment's notice and sleeping next to her was a very bad idea.
“Tell me where to take him other than here and I will Bawdri. You think I'm kidding, or lying about that? I've been all over the world since this happened, the zombie thing is everywhere. Africa, China, the frozen north, and the high desert. True, that's not so bad, I'd go, if I could get food there, but what I mean is that no place is better than here. There's nothing out there now. Nothing but death.” Cam put her hand out, palm up, towards Sammi. It was extended at arm's length, palm to the ceiling, and looked both ridiculous and formal all at once.
“I give my pledge that I won't steal your Jake away. Not unless he asks me to.”
Sammi looked horribly disgruntled still. Then she glared at all of them. Hard. Like she was about to take a page from Darla's handbook of Jake management, and punch him.
“Fine. I trust that you'll all enjoy each other's company then.” This was followed by the girl spinning on her heel and walking away without pause. Stiffly.
Jake looked at Vickie, then Cam.
“Um, did I say something wrong? I'm just trying to prevent bloodshed here. I guess it looked like I was challenging her word, but I have something else to talk about too.” For some reason he felt bad about her reaction.
Cam had to cover her laugh, she managed, but not before Sammi turned to glare daggers at her.
“Oh, too rich. I think someone's a little ticked that it's me in your bed tonight and not her.” She smiled at Vickie. “I don't normally do girls, but we can share him if you want? Take turns or something? Unless there's a plan I mean?”
Jake rolled his eyes, “How old are you anyway?”
“Me? Fourteen. Why?” Cam said innocently.
“Ah, well, I don't have sex with anyone less than nineteen, so, you know, we'll just have to chat.”
Vickie gave him a very strange look which for some reason made him blush. God, hopefully she wasn't that young. She looked older, but did that mean anything? He must have looked panicked because she answered the question without being asked.
“I'm thirty-two, which is about twenty-seven in human years.”
“Good. All this stuff is getting confusing, you know? Anyway, let's get to bed. Remember to cuddle close though, even if it does make me seem like a perv.”
Vickie nudged him as they all walked.
“Seem like?” At least she chuckled about it.
The plan was twofold and probably insane, given the world outside the front door right now. Too much snow, too little gas and the raw fact that they just couldn't let any woman that had slept with Holsom in on the plan.
“Except T.” Vickie asserted. Several times.
In a row, as if Jake wasn't going to consider what she said the first time. He got the idea, Tipper had just slept with the guy and was a nasty freak when it came to sex who liked almost everyone in the world for it, except him. That didn't mean she wouldn't want in on putting a bullet into the brain pan of the guy that had tried to rob them blind right before harvest. Jake shrugged.
“OK. I'll talk to her about it, unless you think you should?” It wasn't that he wanted to dodge out on her, Jake just didn't want to risk the plan on a potentially unreliable person.
Vickie thought he was the perfect one for the job, which made him want to sigh. He said he would though. The
next day even.
Cam's part would be important. It was a two part plan after all. First they took a small crew to do recon and hit some stores along the route. Then Cam would take them all back from there and the return trip to take the a-hole down. If it would work at all.
Neither woman got the idea about the stores though. Then, both had grown up in different cultures. They got it when he explained.
“We have all these kids and people now. I was thinking... Christmas. We'll need something to do anyway, if we don't have to fight those cannibals of Heather's about then.” It made sense to him at least. Vickie didn't say anything at all and Cam moved away from him.
Instead of assuming he'd done something wrong, he decided just to wait. It was a good idea and made sense. Unless the girl couldn't teleport that much. That might make sense, he didn't want to push her or anything. He was about to say something when the girl rolled back into him, mouth nearly on his ear.
“I'm in Dehist. I can't fight though. Not really. Not like that. My people flee, it's our way. But I'll do what you ask.” She sounded really formal. Especially since the first half of the hard work involved nothing more than some presents for people.
Vickie just kissed his cheek.
“It sounds like a plan. When do we go?”
“A few days. I'm making a saw and at least one or two axe heads for beheading. We... also need to get Burt in on this.”
Jake wouldn't tell them why, just going to sleep without answering. It was obvious, but they could be surprised. It was going to have to be a real group effort, he knew that.
He wanted to do nothing but work on the saw project, but Jake had promised that he'd get with Tipper and see what she wanted to do, if anything. So just after lunch he signaled her and smiled. She came over easily enough, her eyes almost pleased, if a little wary.
Quietly he invited her to take a trip with him behind the barn. She tilted her head and finally, after half a minute shrugged.
“What the hell. So you're a little odd with that whole VGM thing and all the killing. I get it now, I can look past that... Sure, why not? Did you OK it with Vickie first though? She may be ten years younger than I am, but she can kick my ass. I don't want her to think I'm grabbing her bed warmer.” She chuckled for some reason.
