by Gina Blaxill
‘Free country.’ I felt defensive; while people from school often laughed at my clothes, Reece never had. I was wearing my usual denim shorts, cardi and a sleeveless top I’d sewn patches of patterned material on to. Feeling self-conscious, I glanced away, fiddling with my necklace.
Reece made a sighing noise. ‘I know you’re into the charity-shop thing, and that’s cool, but treating yourself to something wouldn’t hurt.’
‘When did you become Gok Wan?’ I snapped. ‘Like what, exactly?’
Reece pointed at a shop across the road. One of the window models wore a yellow-green dress – quite short and very plain apart from black lace on the neckline.
‘You’d look all right in that,’ he said. Then, hastily, ‘Not that you don’t look nice the rest of the time. And not like I, y’know, actually care what you wear. Just saying it might make you feel good to have a few new things.
‘I couldn’t afford that shop,’ I said curtly. It made me feel funny when Reece mentioned how I looked . . . not bad funny, but I didn’t know how to react. ‘Let’s go, OK?’
We didn’t really talk on the way to the house. I was still feeling weird about the clothes conversation, and Reece seemed a little embarrassed by it too. As soon as we arrived, though, things were back to normal. I knew Hampstead was a posh area, so I wasn’t surprised to find that the house was big – three storeys, with a fancy front, twirly railings and even a balcony. The gate to the back garden was open so we headed around the house and came out on to a patio. About forty people were standing chatting, a barbecue to one side. I breathed in the smell of charcoal and cooking meat – it always reminded me of summer. Reece’s eyes lit up when he saw the long buffet table, which was stacked with salads, dips, pastries, tarts and a variety of desserts.
‘This is a bit of all right!’
A black dog raced in our direction and leaped up at us, rubbing his head against me. Almost bowled over by his enthusiasm, I backed away.
‘Hello, Reece!’ A man wearing braces and a checked shirt appeared. He took hold of the dog’s collar; this must be Mr McIntyre. ‘Glad you could make it. I see Mike’s been giving you a grand welcome.’
I took me a moment to realize he was talking about the dog. What kind of a name for a dog was Mike?
McIntyre continued, ‘He’s an ex-racing greyhound – used to enter him at Walthamstow before it closed. Made me quite a bit of money, didn’t you, Mister Mike? He’s retired now.’
‘Is he normally this . . . friendly?’ Reece asked.
McIntyre smiled. ‘Mike loves people – he’s very affectionate. But then most greyhounds are – they make fantastic pets, very docile and surprisingly lazy. But where are my manners? I’m pleased to see you’ve brought a friend with you.’
Reece laughed a little nervously.
I felt my cheeks colour – the way ‘friend’ had been said implied something else. ‘Er . . . this is Sophie. Soph, this is Mr McIntyre. Y’know, V-B’s head of research.’
McIntyre asked us what we wanted to drink and fetched a couple of glasses. I sipped at my lemonade, half listening to Reece and McIntyre discussing greyhounds and cricket as I looked around. None of the people here looked familiar – but then they wouldn’t, would they? I’d never really talked to Dani’s colleagues apart from Cherie. Now we were here I wasn’t sure about this.
‘Hey.’ Reece brushed my arm. The warmth of his fingers made my skin tingle. ‘Graham Heffer’s here! He retired from Middlesex a couple of years ago. He was the guy that made a century when we went to Lord’s with my dad that time, remember?’
I’d thought Reece might be exaggerating about real cricketers being here; evidently not. Suddenly we were back on familiar ground; I felt relieved. Reece’s cricket brain I could deal with. ‘What are we waiting for?’
We helped ourselves from the barbecue and buffet and located Graham Heffer at the end of the garden.
Reece took a deep breath. ‘I’m dying from an excess of cool right now. Be honest – have I gone really red? Am I going to make a prat of myself?’
‘You’ll live,’ I said. ‘Hey, I’ll join you in a sec. Going to pop to the bathroom. Hold my plate.’
I made my way back to the house and found a toilet next to the kitchen. As I locked the door I heard a familiar voice outside and froze.
Aiden! It sounded like he was having a conversation with someone very nearby – perhaps they’d stepped into the kitchen after me. I quickly realized what a fix I was in – if Aiden was that close he’d definitely spot me. And I couldn’t hide in the loo forever!
For what seemed like ages I stayed where I was. Aiden and his friend were talking about films – it didn’t seem like they were going to move on any time soon. But then, just as I was thinking I’d better make a break for it, a mobile phone rang. It must have been Aiden’s, for he apologized to his friend and I heard footsteps pass by. ‘Hi, babe,’ I heard him say. ‘Just let me step outside.’
He must be going to the front of the house. I waited a few more seconds, then opened the door. The hall was empty – Aiden’s friend had moved on. As I hurried out into the garden, it struck me that the call might have been Cherie. Who else would Aiden call ‘babe’? This might be an opportunity . . .
There was an alley by the side of the house to the front. Without giving myself time to reconsider, I went down it. As I got to the end, I heard Aiden’s voice.
‘No, I can’t just give him a ring!’ He sounded on edge, the words coming out quickly – quite a contrast to how he’d been a few minutes ago. ‘He’ll get nasty if we fuss about money again – asking for more is just going to cause ill feeling.’ He paused, presumably listening to Cherie. ‘But Patrick knows the day the trial results are due. We can’t buy more time. It’s pretty certain that we’re going to have to develop the drug further. The side effects are too much of an issue.’ Another pause. ‘No, Patrick won’t find out! I’m not telling him, neither are you, and Dani isn’t around to have another attack of conscience.’
Dani? Attack of conscience? I pricked up my ears.
‘Stop having a go at me, Cherie!’ Aiden snapped. ‘Couldn’t this have waited until I got back? Listen, maybe we should get out while we can. This is getting too complicated – and dangerous! If we go ahead with everything now, Patrick’s guys will find out we’re not giving them the real deal. He’s got contacts, here and in Brazil. They’ll come after us! Too many people are getting their fingers burned, and anyway, I don’t know how comfortable I am handing over something that has serious side effects. Look, now’s not the time to talk about this, I’ve got to get back outside. Later, OK?’
Quickly I backed down the alley to the garden. More people had arrived while I’d been busy – which was just as well, as it was easier to lose myself in the crowd. I found Reece still talking to Graham Heffer. His food was untouched, indicating he’d been talking non-stop, and he appeared to have dumped my plate somewhere.
I didn’t waste time being polite. As soon as I was near enough I elbowed Reece in the ribs, cutting him off mid-sentence. ‘Need to talk to you.’
Reece shot me an annoyed look. ‘Not now! I’m telling Graham about the match-winning fifty-four I made against St Anne’s High!’
‘Excuse me,’ Heffer said. ‘Just seen someone I know. Nice talking to you.’
He brushed past, waving at someone up by the house. Reece started following but I stopped him.
‘Reece, I wasn’t kidding! Aiden’s here!’ I pulled him right to the back of the garden behind a large rhododendron bush and filled him in on what I’d overheard. Aiden had mentioned Dani having an ‘attack of conscience’ – that proved she wasn’t entirely willing. Maybe that was why she’d run away to Bournemouth. Maybe she’d known about the serious side effects!
‘I was right about the trials being significant then,’ Reece said. ‘Sounds like the results are going to be bad. What the hell is it they’re up to?’
‘We should go. Now,’ I said.
R
eece bit into a slice of chocolate tart. Crumbs dropped on to his shirt and he brushed them off; it was such a leisurely gesture it made me want to scream. ‘Aiden’s probably already seen us. Don’t see what we’d gain by leaving. Anyway, it’s not like he can do anything here.’
‘Reece! This is about cricket, isn’t it? You think you’re going to meet more players if you stick around. Is that more important than Cherie threatening to hurt your family?’
‘Chill, Soph! What’s got into you?’
‘Reality check!’ I wasn’t getting through to him; why did he have to be so stupid? ‘Enjoy boring more cricketers to death then. I’m off.’
‘I’ll text you tomorrow!’ Reece called as I pushed my way through people to the alley leading out to the road.
I didn’t bother replying. As I stepped through the gate on to the street I felt fingers close around my wrist and found myself pinned against the wall, staring up at Aiden.
‘Don’t make a noise,’ he hissed. ‘I saw you in the garden. What the hell are you doing here?’
My eyes darted over Aiden’s shoulder, hoping there was someone to raise the alarm – but there was no one. The street was dead, and I wasn’t sure the people at the barbecue would hear if I screamed. I could see Aiden’s car, parked on the other side of the street. Terrified he was going to force me into it, I struggled, pulling away with all my might. Aiden grabbed my other wrist. He was stronger than he looked; his hands on my wrists were firm and unyielding.
‘Stop it! I’m not going to hurt you.’
‘I don’t believe you. Let me go!’
He pushed me back against the wall with a force that winded me. ‘You and your mate have got to back off, OK?’ he said. ‘What you’re doing’s going to get you hurt.’
‘Like Danielle?’
Was it my imagination, or did he wince? ‘This isn’t just about me. There are other people – really nasty people. They wouldn’t think twice about shutting you up.’
‘You mean Cherie?’
Aiden laughed. ‘You’re better off not knowing. Listen –’ he released one of my arms. ‘Dani’s dead. You can’t fix that. Leave it there. Look upon this as a friendly warning.’
I yanked my other arm away from him. He took a step back and I bolted down the road, glancing over my shoulder – but Aiden was just standing by the house, watching. There was a weird expression on his face. I didn’t waste time working out what it meant – I ran all the way to the tube station. Only when I was on the train, safely heading home, did I allow myself to relax.
I didn’t sleep that night. I kept feeling Aiden’s hands on my wrists, the texture of brick on my back. Several times I got up and lifted the curtain, convinced I was going to see a Mini parked outside. At half three I went downstairs and made a cup of milky cocoa and sat sipping it in the darkness, trying to get a grip. Aiden had only been hanging about before because he wanted to get hold of Edith. I wondered what he’d done to her – wiped the files and then chucked her in the bin? It didn’t seem important now.
There are other people. What had Aiden meant? Was he talking about the mysterious Patrick or were there more? This thing had to go beyond Vaughan-Bayard – and Danielle, for that matter. But what kind of scale were we talking? Brazil had been mentioned – was this an international conspiracy or was that too fanciful?
The milky drink must have worked because I fell asleep on the sofa and only woke when Julie came down and switched on the morning news.
‘Too hot in your room?’ she asked as I sat up rubbing my eyes.
I mumbled something about not being able to sleep. Julie perched on the armrest and muted the telly.
‘What’s on your mind?’
Most other girls probably would have told her. But Julie wasn’t my mother. It wasn’t fair to burden her with this. And I was scared she’d tell me I was being silly or, worse, mention counselling again. In fact, I realized, I didn’t tell Julie much at all. She didn’t know how much I was dreading going back to school, or even what I got up to when I was out of the house. I’d been living here a year and a half and she didn’t really know me, and I knew that was my fault. Suddenly I felt very alone.
‘I should get up,’ I said, swinging my legs off the sofa.
‘Did you and Reece have a falling-out?’
That was typical; assuming the cause of all this was boy trouble. If only!
‘Sort of,’ I said. ‘He’s just being stupid. He doesn’t get that having a family is a privilege you don’t play about with.’
‘Maybe you should give each other a bit of space. I was going to take the kids to the zoo today. Why don’t you come? It’d be nice to spend some time together.’
Part of me was tempted. But I knew Julie would try to get me to talk; she always did. It was easier to say no. If Julie was disappointed, she didn’t show it; all she said was that if I changed my mind, they were setting off at eleven. Wishing I didn’t find stuff like this so difficult, I headed upstairs to shower.
Should I back off, like Aiden had said? But if I did I’d never find out the truth about Dani, and the need to know was interfering with everything now. I was sure I’d never feel normal again – not until I understood.
Before I knew it, it was nearly two o’clock. I went to one of the nearby bakeries and picked up a bag of potato borekas. What was I going to do next? Julie and the kids would be at the zoo by now; it was too late to join them. My school holiday assignments needed work and I hadn’t finished sorting through my wardrobe to see what I could give to the charity shop. Or I could ask Paloma what she was doing. Before I’d found that USB I would have been happy doing any of these things. Now it all seemed trivial.
And that was when I knew there was no way I could let it go. It wasn’t that Aiden hadn’t scared me; he had. But I didn’t think I could stomach the alternative.
I took out my mobile. I had a new message – from Reece, asking if I was OK. I slipped the last boreka into my mouth. Things had been weird with Reece last night, but maybe yelling at him had been an overreaction. He was doing this for me, after all – no one else cared enough to do that. I dialled his number.
‘Hey,’ Reece said. I could hear rumbling and people chatting in the background.
‘Hi,’ I said. ‘How was last night?’
‘OK. Another cricketer turned up, but he only played for Sussex back in the eighties and wasn’t that interesting. Didn’t see Aiden. Guess he left. You OK?’
‘Fine. Sorry I had a go.’
There was a pause. Neither of us was good with apologies.
‘Well,’ Reece said. ‘I’m on my way to Brent Cross – if the crappy bus ever gets there, that is. I’m babysitting the poddling cos Mum’s got a headache, but if you don’t mind playing with the train set in the Early Learning Centre, we could hang out.’
Relieved that my apology seemed to have been accepted, I ended the call. Brent Cross Shopping Centre was practically on my doorstep. My favourite part used to be the fountain in the main foyer. Above it was a big coloured-glass dome which little kids always used to stand oohing and aahing at. Both ceiling and fountain had gone now. Instead there was a stage area where some kind of event was usually going on. It was there that I waited for Reece and Neve.
‘Thought you were never going to show,’ I said when they arrived. ‘What was it this time, roadworks at Finchley Central?’
‘Naturally,’ Reece said. Neve tugged on his arm. She was wearing a blue-and-white-check dress and had a little matching bag. When I said she looked nice, she gave me a twirl.
‘It’s new. Look at my bag.’
The bag had crayons and a little notepad inside, already full of Neve’s drawings. After I’d admired them we set off for the Early Learning Centre. The train set covered a huge table in the middle. A number of small children were wheeling them along the track, making choo-choo noises. Neve grabbed a red train from the shelf and joined them. Reece picked up a plastic dinosaur and pretended to attack me with it.
‘Would’ve loved this junk as a kid. Neve doesn’t know how lucky she is.’
‘Where d’you think we go next?’
He sighed. ‘The sarcastic part of me wants to say the Disney Store, but I’m guessing you’re not talking about shops. I dunno, Soph.’
I told him about running into Aiden outside McIntyre’s house. Reece stared at me with an expression I hadn’t seen before. It made him look older.
‘Why didn’t you say? Heck, why didn’t you call me? I was right there! Did he hurt you? We should go back to the police, Soph the guy’s a creep!’
I wasn’t so sure he was right. When I met Aiden on the swings, he’d had an apologetic demeanour – and somehow there’d been a hint of that yesterday too. I’d been frightened, but he’d seemed almost desperate. I was starting to wonder how willing a participant he was in whatever they were up to.
‘He didn’t hurt me.’ I changed the subject. Reece gave me a sceptical look, but he didn’t press me. We stayed in the Early Learning Centre until the attendant started to give us shirty looks, then moved on to a couple of other shops Neve liked. By four o’clock we were all peckish, so we visited the frozen-yogurt stand and sat on one of the many benches in the aisle between the shops to eat them. There was a ‘Summer Grotto’ display on the stage area, which seemed to involved adults dressed up as Disney characters dancing with small kids and throwing chocolates about. Neve joined in and Reece and I sat back, stirring our yogurts. I was about to say I’d pick a different flavour next time when I realized we weren’t alone.
‘Hi, Sophie,’ It was Zoe Edwards and one of her mates. I felt my insides cartwheel. I hadn’t seen Zoe all summer – Paloma had mentioned she’d gone away, Tenerife or somewhere hot like that. I’d almost been able to pretend she didn’t exist. ‘How’s your holiday going?’
‘Fine,’ I mumbled, putting down my yogurt. Why was she acting all nice?
