Lying here, I’m finding it impossible to shut my mind down to rest, as my thoughts keep racing. I need to gain her trust, but how can I gain her trust, when I can’t even trust myself?
The following afternoon, after lying in bed awake for hours on end, I get up and grab the first aid kit and head down to see Alexandria. Time to put on a show…
I startle her as I enter her lighted space and catch her trying to rip apart the lock with a bobby pin. In the process, she’s made more of a bloody mess of her ankle and fingernails.
She pulls the cover over herself, hoping to hide her mess. Without saying a word I walk over, causing her to flinch away from me, and pull the blankets back slightly to see the reality of her wounds. Her ankle is torn up from the attempts of trying to pull the shackle over her heal that’s now swollen and red. Her fingernails are chipped and bleeding from the attempts of picking the lock.
I look into her eyes and see her physically trembling in fear. I smile and reach for her hands, which she swiftly pulls away from me, clutching them to her chest.
“I’m not going to hurt you Alexandria,” I said as reassuringly as possible as I grasp her bloodied hand in mine.
“It’s only because you need me,” she says matter-a-factly with a tremble in her voice.
“It’s true, but I had no plans to harm you, even before learning you’re an old soul.” I gently hold her hand and wash away the dried and fresh blood covering her fingertips.
As hard as it is to sit here and pretend to be something I’m not, I don’t have a choice. What’s making this even worse is the blood on her hands. It’s pulling me closer, begging me to nip her finger, but I know that won’t be enough, I’d want more…
I shift my eyes away as I wash the blood and avoid breathing as much as possible. My mind is heading in a dark direction, and if I want to survive, I need to keep my head on straight. If I hurt her again, my chances will be zero at getting what I need from her.
“Why?” she questions in a soft voice, breaking into my dark thoughts.
I sit in silence for a moment, trying to think of an answer as I’m still not sure why myself. “I don’t know,” I reply as I stare up into her eyes, reaching for her other hand. She willingly gives it to me and I start to wash that one as well.
We sit in silence for a few minutes until I pull the covers back farther from her ankle and see the surprising amount of blood soaked into her blankets and sheets. The wound around her ankle is still bleeding and the rusted metal ring is covered in dried blood. No matter how well I clean it, it’s still going to end up infected.
I sigh and look up into her pale blue eyes that peer back at me with concern and fear before she averts her eyes down, toward the mattress.
Continuing my gaze, I say in a soft voice, “I will give you my blood to heal you, if you prefer.”
Her eyes shoot to mine in shock that quickly transforms into horror. She starts to back away from me and shakes her head back and forth in a nearly violent manner.
“No, no, no, no…” she says with sheer panic.
I don’t break my gaze from her as I say in a soothing voice, “Alexandria… It’s okay. I’m not going to force you. Now breathe and relax. I need to clean this up.”
I watch as the realization comes over her features that I’m telling the truth. Her body is shaking, but she is calming down little by little.
I don’t know what she has been through, but it must have been hell. She’s clearly been traumatized, and I start feeling regret for the things I have already done to her.
I shake my head and sigh. What is it about this woman that makes me feel… human?
“I hope you’ve at least had a tetanus shot,” I say with legitimate concern.
Alexandria seems more relaxed as she laughs without humor and says, “I’ve had worse.”
She becomes silent as I take the shackle off her ankle and maneuver her leg off the edge of the bed and over the metal bucket on the floor. She watches as I pull the alcohol out of the first aid kit and she panics, pulling her leg back, shaking her head frantically.
I sigh, trying to keep my agitation under control. “It needs cleaning,” I grumble as I pull her leg back over.
She fights me, but I flash my gaze into hers, “Do you want to die of an infection?” I say steely.
She shakes her head ‘no’ and relaxes her leg, allowing me to manipulate it in the position I need.
Just before I pour the alcohol, I feel her body tense. Once the alcohol touches her wound, she lets out a cry of agony and tears spring from her eyes. Once it's clean, I bandage it up carefully, as not to cause her more anguish.
When I finish, I hear a faint, “Thank you,” come from Alexandria’s lips.
I look up at her and nod my head. Her pale blue eyes pull me in and I force myself to turn away before I get lost in them.
I am not this caring person that I am portraying myself to be. I don’t care about humans and their problems. I don’t bandage them up, or offer my blood. If she was one of the regular girls, I kept down here years ago, I would have let her suffer.
It’s not only that I am trying to gain her trust, so she will heal me, there is something else going on in my mind that I can’t explain. Though she tried to seduce me in taking more of her blood, knowing full well what she was doing, I still can’t bring myself to let her suffer in pain. This, I cannot explain, and it annoys me beyond reason.
“Breakfast?” I ask her as I put everything back into the first aid kit.
“Hmm?” she questions, seeming to come back from being lost in thought.
“Are you hungry?” I grumble.
She bites her lip a little before saying, “I’m okay.” But her stomach gives her away by snarling with hunger. Her cheeks flush pink with embarrassment, and I resist the sudden urge to brush my finger across their warmth.
I stand and pull her from the bed, cradling her in my arms, creating a look of shock on her face. I carry her up the stairs, and when I hit the landing of the top floor, I drop to my knees once again as they give out, sending a shooting pain down my leg. It brings me back to what I am trying to accomplish. I grit my teeth in pain.
Alexandria looks at me with concern and wriggles her way out of my arms. I let her go, and she says softly, “I’m sorry.”
I let out a hard laugh as I manage to stand back up and pull myself together. “I’m sure you are…” I scoff as I head for the kitchen.
She follows behind with her head down, like a whipped puppy.
“Sit,” I command and point at the table.
She takes a seat at the black leather and silver accented dining table, keeping her head down as she studies the black marble table top.
I pilfer through the cupboards for the items I need to make her breakfast. Again, I find myself asking, why am I even bothering, but a shock shoots down from my hip to my foot, reminding me to be on my best behavior and earn her trust.
“You don’t need to do this,” she says almost inaudibly.
“Do what?” I ask irritated.
“Cook for me. I know you don’t eat and possibly find food repulsive. You don’t need to go out of your way,” she says softly.
I keep my back to her. “You need to eat. I can’t have you starving to death.”
I continue to cook her breakfast and she continues to sit in silence. When I set the plate of eggs in front of her, I hear her stomach snarl. She stares at the plate a bit self-consciously and I decide to head down and take the filthy sheets off her bed, giving her privacy to eat.
By the time I get back up top, she is halfway finished and pauses when I walk past her to the bedroom. After taking care of the sheets, I head back into the kitchen and take a seat at the table.
She instantly looks up at me with those stunning eyes and says, “Thank you.”
I simply nod my head.
Chapter 20
An uncomfortable silence fills the air between us as I stare at her, studying her delicate skin, and the nea
rly invisible freckles covering her cheeks. She continually keeps her eyes averted away from me, and I can see her fidgeting with her hands under the table.
“Why did you come to North Carolina?” I ask her breaking the silence.
Her pale blue eyes finally rest on me, and she seems to ponder her answer for a moment. “My parents brought me here once as a teen. Guess I wanted to relive old memories.” Her eyes dart away once again like a frightened cat.
“Where are your parents now?” I question out of curiosity.
She’s lost in thought as a tear rolls down her cheek. She clears her throat and says in a broken voice, “Both dead.” Before I can ask anything else, she looks up at me through her thick lashes and says, “I’m tired. Can I go back to my room now?”
She clearly doesn’t want to talk about her family, so I nod my head in agreement. “First, I want to ask you something,” I pause and watch her face closely before I continue. “Who is this Quillon? What does he want with you?”
Sheer fear and panic flash in her eyes at the sound of his name. She swallows hard and her skin pales as she shakes her head, refusing to answer.
I press a little more, “Quillon held you captive for a time, didn’t he?”
Her heart is racing and her skin is shimmering with sweat. She nods her head in agreement.
“What does he want with you?” I press.
Her eyes flash with anger. “The same you want with me!” she hisses. As soon as Alexandria realizes how she spoke, she averts her eyes to the floor and begs for my forgiveness. “I’m… I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that.”
I sit in silence for a moment watching her. She’s getting uncomfortable as she squirms in her seat and I enjoy her discomfort a moment longer before I say, “I am not Quillon. I have no intention of bringing harm to you.”
She looks up at me and whispers, “You already killed me once.”
“That is true, but I vow not to harm you again.”
“Until after you get what you want…” her eyes hardened in anger. Before I can speak, she continues in her soft voice, “Tell me, what do you plan to do with me if I did give you my blood? What then?”
I think for a moment, but apparently, she can see I have no answer.
“That’s what I thought,” she says with hatred and stands away from the table. She turns her back and heads for the door leading to the lower level.
She opens the door, and I see an opening to gain her trust, I take it. “I’d let you go,” I say in a strong voice, hoping she will believe me.
She pauses in her stride and turns around to face me, disbelief and anger written all over her face. “Don’t think I am so stupid that I would believe you,” she snaps.
I stand, and in a blink of an eye, I’m in front of her causing her to gasp in shock. I softly place both of my hands on her slim face and stare at her plump, light pink lips as they beckon me to kiss them.
Shaking the thought from my mind, I make her look up at me. The moment our eyes connect I say in a strong, determined tone, “If you give me the blood of your free will, I will let you go. If there’s one thing about me, I am a vampire of my word.”
She roughly pulls her face from my hands, then places her hands on my chest and shoves me backward. I watch her in disbelief. How she can go from this timid, fearful girl, to a strong independent woman in the blink of an eye, amazes me.
“I don’t trust your kind. You’ve all done more damage to me than you will ever know! So go ahead and take my blood, but it won’t be of my free will. I would rather be dead than give you or any other vampire the cure again. Just kill me, I have nothing left to live for anyway!” she yells.
I step closer to her, noting the stairs just behind her. She takes a step back from me with a flicker of fear shining brightly in her eyes. She takes another step back without realizing she’s reached the edge of the steps, just as I have planned. She falls backward with horror on her face and a squeal of alarm sliding past her lips. I grasp her hand and pull her forward into an embrace. Wrapping my arms around her, I place my head on top of hers, filling my senses with her strawberry shampoo. She squirms uncomfortably and I gradually release her wishing I could hold her longer.
Her face looks flustered, yet shocked.
“As I said, I will let you go. You could continue on with your life, like this never happened,” I tell her again.
She’s looking at the floor as she speaks in a soft whisper, “What if I don’t want to continue living?” She raises her head up to look at me. Her eyes, which have seen too much, now speak loud and clear.
“You’d rather die than continue living?” I question with shock crossing my features.
She simply nods her head. “I’m tired of running, of hiding. I’m an old soul; I’ll come back again, except I’ll be free from this life. I’ll have a fresh start, a do-over.”
I can see in her eyes that she’s lying. So I decide to call her bluff. “Okay. Since you have a death wish, why don’t you cure me, and I will give you what you desire… your death,” I say in a serious tone.
She stares at me in stunned silence. A varying amount of emotions plaguing her features before she settles on a timid smile. “Okay,” she says barely above a whisper.
Chapter 21
I can’t help but feel she is toying with me, but I push things further. I look her in the eyes and tell her in a gentle tone, “I’ll make your death swift. You won’t feel a thing.”
A flash of fear shoots through her features, but she nods her head in agreement.
I clasp her hand softly, bringing the back of it to my lips as I place a gentle kiss on her soft flesh. I hear her heart race as I pull her toward my bedroom and I feel the hesitation in her steps as I lead her by the hand. She swallows hard as we step into my bedroom and I bring her to stand next to my bed. I slowly pick her up and place her in the middle of the black silk sheet. She sucks in a shocked breath and her heart pounds frantically as panic fills her features. I refuse to let her out of her ‘death wish’ so easily. She will learn that I keep my word.
I soon find myself on top of her, holding my weight off of her body so not to crush her. I hear her heart skip and race as I get into position. She stops breathing and lays frozen, seemingly afraid to move like a mouse trapped by a cat. I take satisfaction in her extreme discomfort, but I don’t plan on stopping until she panics with the reality of her death wish. It won’t be long until she caves.
I lean into her ear and in a breathy, seductive voice, I whisper, “Breathe, Alexandria.”
I then move my lips to her neck and kiss from her ear to the base of her neck to her collarbone. The taste of her salty, fruity skin has my body on fire, desiring so much more than this. I have not felt this way for many years and it’s unsettling to feel like I am losing control of myself.
My fangs extend before I will them to, but I hold back and resist the urge to drink her blood. I know she is not willing yet, and I don’t need to add more poison to my already drugged system.
She takes in a ragged breath as I run my nose along her skin, back up to her ear. She begins to squirm under my body in discomfort, but otherwise says nothing. She continues to lay with her arms at her sides and her hands clutched around wads of the black silk sheet, clearly stressed.
I push things further, feeling she is about to break, and nip at her earlobe, then whisper again, “You won’t feel a thing. I promise.”
Her body shudders in fear at my words.
Moving back to her neck, I fight the urge not to bite and instead brush the tip of my fangs against her flesh, making sure not to leave a mark.
She tremors and pushes me away the best she can. I smile and willingly back away from her slowly, taking a moment to look into her eyes.
“Not ready to die yet, are we?” I question in a silky, nearly mocking tone.
She does not say a word, but when she averts her eyes to the bedroom door, that tells me everything I need to know.
“
I want to go back to my room,” she states flatly as she still lies on my bed with her head to the side, exposing her neck. She’s lucky she is an old soul or I wouldn’t have been able to restrain myself as well as I did. It took everything in me not to sink my fangs into her neck.
I stand up away from her and peer down at Alexandria’s vulnerable body. I’d be lying to myself if I said taking her blood is all I want to do to her, but I quickly throw that thought aside as she gets up. Giving her enough space to stand, I watch as she wraps her arms around herself in a protective like embrace. I see tears streaming down her cheeks and the way she keeps her face turned away from me.
Then the thought dawns on me. “This isn’t about dying is it?” I question.
She shakes her head slowly, and in a soft, pain-filled whisper she says, “No.”
“Quillon?” I say flatly.
Tears continue to escape down her flush skin as she speaks again with hidden anger. “I told you, your kind has done more to me than you could ever imagine.”
There is more meaning in her words than I can understand, but an anger I have never felt before is welling up inside me, and an overwhelming feeling of finding and destroying Quillon takes over my thoughts.
I feel my features darken and the change in Alexandria’s face forces me to calm myself. She takes a few steps away from me and backs her way to the bedroom door.
I ignore her apparent fear of me and lead her back to the stairway door. Before taking her down, I turn and look at Alexandria and mumble, “You’re welcome to stay up here if you’d like.”
She looks at me surprised, but shakes her head, no.
I nod my head in understanding and take her back down to her makeshift bedroom. Bringing her over to the bed, I place the shackle around her good ankle and check the bandage on her injured one. She climbs into the middle of the bed and resigns herself to being alone.
I quietly head to the stairs but turn around to stare at Alexandria when she clears her throat to get my attention.
She’s looking directly at me with a hard stare. When she sees that she has my attention, she says in a timid, yet strong voice, “After everything I’ve been through, I hope you understand that whatever you do to earn my trust, I still cannot cure you.”
The Sanctuary Page 6
