“Kaymar, please stop blaming me for things I was never told about!” Katrin shouted. “I am not a mind reader! This has all been kept secret from me and I don’t appreciate that – or being taken to task for things I had no knowledge of!”
He pressed his lips together for a moment. It was obvious he was trying to calm himself.
“Yes, that isn’t fair,” he said more quietly. “But Katrin, Menders is making an error by not speaking with you about this, because when you’re faced with something you don’t want to do, your tendency is to do nothing. I’ve known you and been with you almost every day since you were four years old. You know this is the truth.”
Katrin looked down at her feet.
It was true. If she didn’t care for something she needed to read, she tended to put it aside. Chores she disliked led her to procrastinate, putting them off until someone else did them. Borsen held The Shadow’s record for killing chickens for dinner because if it was left to her, the roosters would still be crowing in the poultry yard when the dinner bell rang. It was a bad habit and she knew it – but still, she did it.
“Kaymar, please try to understand,” she pleaded. “I don’t want to be Queen. I don’t even know how. I’m terrified of the Palace. What if we failed? You’re asking me to sacrifice everything to take a terrible risk.”
“The Queen of Mordania has absolute power, Katrin! You can be any kind of Queen you want!” Kaymar nearly shouted, his temper gone. “You don’t have to be like your mother was. You’re better than that. Oh gods, after all the care and love and effort that has been put into you, are you going to do nothing when you have the opportunity to make things better for the entire country?”
Katrin sank down on the bench she’d vacated and closed her eyes.
“How long do you think Borsen, with his sparrow’s bones, would last on the rack?” Kaymar whispered directly into her ear. “If they catch him, that’s what will happen to him. What do you think they would do to Menders? He’s committed treason so many times for your sake. Katrin…”
She was cold all over and felt as if she was going to vomit. But there was so much fear. The Shadows was safe and she’d been commanded to stay there.
Suddenly Kaymar’s hand was under her chin, as it had been so many times before, turning her face up to his. The anger was gone from his eyes. He looked tired and, suddenly, old.
“They took it from you,” he said sadly. “That fire you had. I can’t blame you, Katrin. I know you’re afraid – but please. Please, consider what I’ve said. So many of us have sacrificed so much for your sake. We would help you. You wouldn’t be alone. Now, I’m going to go and stay in Erdahn for a while, because… Good-bye, Katrin.”
He walked rapidly away, letting himself into the Men’s Wing through the double glass door.
A memory came to Katrin suddenly – a dreary winter afternoon at The Shadows when she was only five years old. Hemmett was refusing to play with her, in one of his ‘no girls!’ moods. Menders was called away to one of the tenant farms and Eiren was teaching at her school.
Katrin rambled around the nursery, moving from one plaything to another. Nothing held her interest. She wanted to go outside, but she didn’t want it to be winter. She wanted to go on the swing but the snow was too deep to get there and it was so cold. It had been sleeting all day and everything was crusted with ice.
She threw the doll she’d been holding and sat down hard on the nursery floor. She covered her face with her hands and then drummed her heels on the floor for a moment out of sheer frustration.
“Well now, I have a little girl here who isn’t at all happy.”
She was startled, having forgotten Kaymar was watching her that afternoon. He’d been snugged away in the corner, behind an old screen. He didn’t play with her often as Haakel did, but read a book or wrote a letter on his funny little portable desk.
Now he was sitting beside her on the nursery floor.
“What’s put you into a tantrum?” he asked, his blue eyes looking right at her.
She threw her arms around his neck suddenly and wept.
“I want to go on the swing!”
The minute she said it, she was sorry, because she didn’t sound at all like a big girl.
“I imagine you do,” he replied, patting her back and holding her close, like Menders would have if he’d been there. “It’s a dreary day and more to come.”
“Hemmett won’t let me play with him. He’s a toad!”
“Yes, he gets his grumpiness out in other ways, while you throw your dolly and hammer your feet into the floor,” Kaymar laughed. “Now then – you know we can’t get out to the swing. So what should we do?”
“Don’t laugh!” Katrin cried harder.
“Ah – yes, Cousin Kaymar won’t be able to jolly you out of this, will he?” Kaymar replied. He was quiet for a moment and Katrin could feel that he was looking around the room.
“I know how you can swing,” he said suddenly. He propped her up on her feet and rose in one motion from the floor. “Now, you go pick up your dolly and apologize for throwing her around while I do a little prospecting.”
He went out of the nursery and through the door that went into the lower attics, leaving it open so she could see him. Katrin wasn’t allowed in the attics, but she went with her doll to stand at the door.
Kaymar looked at many things, shuffling objects around and finally made several trips to the nursery from the attic with rope, boards and a lot of old paintings. With the help of a ladder and a hand drill, he assembled and hung a swing from the wooden beam high against the nursery ceiling. Then he lined up the paintings, all of flowers, against the wall.
“Now, you have a swing and you have spring,” he laughed, setting her on the seat. “I can’t provide sunshine on a miserable day like today, but look at those flowers while you swing and it will do.”
“You swing too!” Katrin said excitedly. She laughed when he sat beside her. He’d made the seat big enough for two, he said in case Hemmett decided to stop being a toad sometime. He pushed them off and soon it seemed as if they were swinging high enough to touch the sky.
He is your protector. He can help you. He made spring in the middle of winter for you. Do not let him go, foolish girl! Go, keep him with you!
The voices – the Queens.
She wouldn’t listen. She would stay here, where it was safe.
***
Menders looked up as Kaymar came into his office and shut the door.
“Post me in Erdahn,” he said abruptly.
“What?”
“I want to leave The Shadows. I just hectored Katrin and I won’t be able to keep from doing it again. I need to be away from her. Post me elsewhere, please, or I will have to resign.”
“Is she all right?” Menders started to rise.
“Of course she’s all right! I didn’t beat her. Sit down, stop running after her like she’s a sickly baby! She needed to hear some of the things I said.”
“I don’t appreciate that, Kaymar,” Menders growled.
“Stop it! Give over, Menders! Katrin is recovered. She’s strong and she’s twenty-three years old! I swear you have gone mad with this overprotecting and it is killing you and damaging her!”
Menders sat back in his chair and looked at his cousin.
“Kaymar, sit down, please,” he sighed. “This tension is telling on us all.”
“There’s no tension for me now,” Kaymar replied, sinking into the chair across the partners’ desk from Menders. “I know what she’s going to decide to do – nothing. I can see it in her eyes. I wouldn’t be able to resist keeping after her and that’s not fair. I need time away, Cuz, please. Post Ifor and me in Erdahn. Assign us to keep an eye on Borsen. He’s in danger now, as you know. I can get information from Bartan for you. I don’t dare go into the Palace now, even covertly. Aidelia’s got the place bristling with Guards and they aren’t the toy soldiers who used to be there. I can’t take the chance of being caught and
leading anyone back here.”
Menders sighed, pulling his keyring out of his pocket.
“Here’s the key to the house in Erdahn,” he said quietly, handing it across his desk. “You and Ifor are welcome to stay there, or you could stay with Borsen and Stevahn if you’d rather, if you think it’s safer for them.”
“Thank you.” Kaymar reached out and took the key. “I’ll get information back to you as often as possible and make sure Borsen is guarded.”
Menders nodded, not looking at him.
“Aylam, I don’t blame you for what’s going to happen,” Kaymar said after a moment. “So many things have gone into the soup. Almost all of it was beyond your control. If this had happened before The Queen and Aidelia got hold of Katrin, she would have had the will and fire to do what she needs to do. I can’t blame her for not being able to act now. I don’t blame you for it either. Don’t waste time blaming yourself.”
Kaymar stood and held his hand out across the desk. After a moment, Menders took it and held it hard, looking up into his cousin’s eyes.
“Be careful, Kaymar – take care of my boy,” Menders said gruffly.
“You know I will.” Kaymar squeezed Menders’ hand in return.
The Shadows, Mordania
The Palace, Erdahn, Mordania
2
Commanded Into Nightmare
K
atrin woke earlier than usual. For the first time in a long while, she felt very peaceful and lighthearted.
It was spring, her favorite season at The Shadows. A long, wet autumn had been followed by an unusually warm but stormy winter, that made up in dreariness for what it lacked in cold. The Thrun had been unable to visit. Life at The Shadows was subdued during the long dark season. No further communication came from the Palace and if Kaymar and Ifor were reporting to Menders, Katrin knew nothing of it.
Borsen and Stevahn came over for a week in the autumn and again for a week during Winterfest. They were uncharacteristically silent when it came to news about Erdahn. They only said they were glad of a chance to rest, spending a considerable amount of time together in their room. Katrin had knocked a few times, received no reply and peeked in to see they were sound asleep, cradled in each other’s arms in the middle of the day – something unheard of for Borsen, who was endlessly active.
Katrin never made the decision Kaymar tried to push her to. She abided by her sister’s command, feeling it was the safest course for everyone. So far it was as if she’d vanished from the face of Eirdon. Likely Aidelia considered her no threat and was so busy being Queen that she had not a thought to spare for Katrin.
Katrin’s main sorrow was the necessity of postponing the orphanage project once more. Arranging to have children brought to The Shadows would draw far too much attention to her. The last thing Katrin needed was Adeilia’s scrutiny.
Menders was quieter than usual and spent many hours with Haakel, going through piles of notes and dossiers regularly brought by Ifor, sometimes by Kaymar. Katrin deliberately avoided the office when she could hear Kaymar speaking. He and Ifor had stayed in Erdahn during Winterfest rather than joining the gathering at The Shadows. This was unprecedented and many of The Shadows’ residents expressed regret, but in all honesty, Katrin had been relieved not to face Kaymar.
She had considered talking to Menders about the vastness of his network and the information it continually fed him, but then let it slide. Since mid-winter a lassitude had plagued her. Sometimes she had to chivvy herself to get out of bed. Menders had always managed his information network and he’d never shared it with her, so why start pushing now? If something was important enough for her to know, he would tell her.
But now the dreary winter was over and spring was in full bloom outside. Katrin could see the orchard trees from her window and sat up in bed to look out at them. She could even smell them, though the window was closed – a pity, considering what a beautiful day it was going to be!
Katrin got up and cast off her heavy nightgown, going to her wardrobe for something to put on to go out into the garden while the day was fresh and new. She found a light, spring dress she’d worn last year to make soap, and pulled it over her head, not bothering with her corset or bloomers. No-one would see her. Everyone was still asleep. The garden was calling.
She ran downstairs and out into the garden barefoot, reflexively looking up toward the sentry on the roof. To her relief it was Hemmett, who grinned down at her, playfully shaking a chastising finger at her lack of proper clothing.
Katrin put her tongue out at him and ran over to take a look at how many daffodils had opened since yesterday. They were overhung with fragrant white garberia blossoms, dripping from vines that twined through the trees. She stepped closer to the treeline to inhale their scent.
“Stand there, Your Highness,” a male voice said.
Suddenly Katrin saw an enormous squad of uniformed men hidden in the forest, stepping out from behind trees and bushes. “Her Majesty the Queen commands you be brought to Court.”
Katrin wheeled to run back to the house, as the emergency bell began clanging raucously.
“We are ordered to shoot you if you resist,” the voice said behind her. Katrin stood still, feeling cold sweat break out all over her body.
“Katrin! Katrin!” Menders was shouting for her in the house. Katrin looked up and saw Hemmett, rifle on his shoulder, aiming behind her. She waved her arms.
“Don’t – there are too many of them! They’re armed and aiming right at you!” she shouted. Hemmett hesitated.
Menders exploded through the side door of the house and raced toward her.
“Stand where you are, Lord Stettan!” barked the same voice, bringing Menders up short. Katrin could see the defeat in his face. Hemmett’s Men had come out all over the house, rifles raised.
“Hold your fire!” Menders shouted at the top of his voice. “They have Katrin!”
***
Katrin read the decree the Commander of the Queen’s Guard handed her, then passed it to Menders. He took it, running his eyes over it quickly.
It was a Royal Command that Katrin go to the Palace immediately. She could be accompanied only by a maidservant – which Katrin didn’t have.
“We live simply here,” Katrin said to the Commander, sounding calm though Menders could see her shivering in that ridiculous light dress which she had obviously thrown on over nothing else. “I have no maidservant.”
“I have my orders, Your Highness,” the Commander replied, his voice devoid of expression. “You may not bring your Head of Household or anyone but your personal maidservant.”
“Then I will have to go alone,” Katrin managed.
“Then you will have to,” the commander responded. “Please come along.”
“Officer, I have no shoes on, nor am I properly dressed,” Katrin protested. “I need a few moments to change and pack some essentials.”
“My orders are to bring you immediately and to have you shot if you do not comply,” the man replied in that same, flat tone.
Menders could hear Hemmett and his Men and the farmers who had rushed to the estate house moving, tightening their hands on their weapons. The Queen’s Guard raised their rifles immediately. Menders caught Hemmett’s eye and shook his head slightly.
“I am not wearing shoes,” Katrin countered. “Do you wish to explain to my sister why you refused to let me put my shoes on before taking me a day’s journey from home?”
The Commander flinched very slightly, his eyes wavering away from Katrin for a moment. Menders watched as he underwent a mental crisis and then turned toward the women, who had been herded together.
“You – get a pair of shoes for the Princess and bring them here to me,” he said to Cook, who was the closest. She gave Katrin a stricken look and scurried away up the stairs, returning very shortly with a soft pair of low shoes. She held them out to the Commander, stepping back as he inspected them closely.
He dropped them to the floor at Kat
rin’s feet. Katrin stepped into them.
“Follow me please, Your Highness,” the Commander said, turning toward the door. The soldiers began filing out.
Menders tore Katrin’s medal, worn by all members of her household, from his jacket. It had long ago been converted to a dirk brooch. He reached over her shoulder swiftly, pushing it out of sight into her cleavage. It wasn’t much, but it was a weapon. Katrin didn’t acknowledge the sudden contact in any way, walking after the soldiers.
Menders went down on one knee in a formal Court bow, removing his dark glasses at the same time. There was a rustling as the rest of the household and the tenant farmers who had come to the sound of the bell followed suit.
Katrin turned back and looked into Menders’ eyes.
He looked at her steadily, trying to give her courage, trying to let her know without words that he would help her, that she would not be alone. He could see Hemmett in the same posture at his side and Eiren, curtseyed low to the floor, her eyes on Katrin also.
Katrin smiled. How she could do so when he could see she was shaking with terror he couldn’t imagine.
“Thank you. Thank you all,” she said, looking from Eiren, to Hemmett, to him – with a smile. Her eyes looked into his again and for a moment, there was nothing else in the world.
“Come with me now, Your Highness,” the Commander said sharply.
Katrin turned and was immediately surrounded by the soldiers. They took her through the front door to the drive, where she was lifted onto a horse that had been brought up from the woods. She was flanked by dozens of mounted guards before they rode away down the drive.
“Search the grounds!” Hemmett shouted. “Make sure they’re gone! Go!” His Guard and many of Menders’ Men scattered for the doors, as Villison sprinted up the stairs to the roof.
“Hemmett, get to the boat – go through the stable tunnel!” Menders yelled, racing up the stairs behind Villison, followed by Eiren. “Get steam up and be ready to go the minute I get there!”
Love and Sacrifice: Book Two of the Prophecy Series Page 57
