by Nana Malone
And that was the problem with Noah Blake. He was too astute. From what I'd gleaned from Dad, he was a former special operations guy. Black Ops stuff, the kind of stuff that nobody wanted to acknowledge. He was technically on the Winston Isles' retainer, so he worked for me. "Since you're on retainer, and you signed the nondisclosure, I can tell you. He's my brother. I need to find him."
Noah's jaw dropped. "Excuse me?"
I rolled my eyes. "I know I didn't stutter. Brother…” I said more slowly. “I need to find him."
The muscle in Noah's jaw worked. "We'll find him, but allow us to at least put a guard on you. I wouldn't be doing my job if I didn't suggest it at the very least."
"No, no guard. This way I’m able to walk around freely. And honestly, no one has recognized me because I'm just walking around the street like a normal person. No one cares. Right now I'm just Sebastian Westmore, and I kind of like it. Haven't you ever needed to disappear and not be you for a minute?”
“I guess I have.”
“Not to mention, there are people who don't want me to find Lucas. All the more reason I need to. So what will it be? Will you help me or will you not?"
Noah sighed. "We’ll do it. And for what it's worth, I don't think you're trying to do anything to the kid, but I'm still concerned. I get what you're saying. You want to blend. Fine. I have guys that can blend. All-American-hero types. They'll play your best friends. Just let me get those set up—”
I shook my head. "No. If I wanted a guard, I would have brought one with me. I need to do this unencumbered, which means I may get an occasional scrape or two. I don't want your guys or Royal Guards getting caught in the crossfire, or messing up my chances. This is important."
"Fine. Since you’ve gone back to the Sebastian Westmore name does that mean you'll be working at the old bar? Are you sure there is nothing you need?"
I trusted Noah. If he wanted to rat me out to my father, he could. But I was hoping I'd be able to buy a little time. "I appreciate it, but no. I'm doing this on my own. And yeah, I'll be taking up my old job at the bar."
Noah nodded. "Okay, fine. Do you need a place to stay? We have some great safe houses—”
I shook my head. "No safe houses. Not to worry. I have a place to stay." I stood and extended my hand. "Thank you for your help."
"You're welcome. But I wish you'd tell me what the hell is going on."
"I can't. There's too much at stake."
Penny…
“Can you help me understand what’s happening right now?”
I sighed. I knew my mother would have questions. She wasn’t blind. She could see how unhappy I was as a Queen’s Guard. “Mom, this is a request from the king. I have to go.”
She narrowed her gaze at me. “The hell you do. Just tell me what’s happening. Is your father making you do this?”
She knew as well as I did that my father would never force my hand. But he made it plain how proud he was that both his children served at the pleasure of His Majesty. “This has nothing to do with Dad. I want to do this. I think I need a change of scenery.”
“Is this because Robert didn't show for your birthday? You're running?”
No. It’s because Robert was kissing my brother. The betrayal twisted deep. But as pissed off as I was with Michael, I wouldn’t out my brother. I needed some distance before I could even think about him again. “This has nothing to do with Robert. I was just thinking it was time I lean into this job more. I haven’t really given it my all.”
I had. I’d just been bad at it. My mother wasn’t buying that line of bullshit either. “Penny, you don't have to do this to try and make us proud. We already are proud.”
I finally gave up and told her what I thought would make her back off because, damn it, I needed to pack. “When His Majesty first asked me, I thought I might be doing it for the wrong reasons too. That’s why I said no.”
Her eyes bugged. “You said what?"
I avoided her gaze. "In my defense, I was nervous. And there he was, the king, asking me for a favor. One, I might add, that I didn’t think I could carry out. I don't know what happened, because I was going to say ‘yes, of course I'll figure it out,’ but instead out came ‘no.’ Then I left without waiting to be dismissed. I was sure there was a beheading in my future."
My mother chewed her nail. “So you said no. We’ll address that little issue later. Then you said yes. What changed your mind? And you can cut the crap about wanting to lean into the job.”
I sighed then stopped packing to face her. Her shrewd, hazel eyes bored into me. I could see her assessing every inch of my face, trying to determine what was up with me.
“Okay, the truth is … It’s not working out with Robert. I’ve needed to figure out my life for a while, and this is a good opportunity at a good time. I’ll have Ariel with me, and it’s pretty much a babysitting job. I need this right now.”
For a moment I thought she would stop me. I thought she would see me for what I was: a liar. But she didn’t.
“Oh honey, I know how heartbreak can be. But I never saw him as right for you anyway. Yes, he's part of the family, but I never saw him as right for you. Besides, he's not the kind of guy to give a girl multiple Os. And every woman deserves that.”
The giggle escaped before I could stop it. My mother was outrageous, and it was best not to encourage her. Mom still looked radiant, and her cocoa skin gleamed in the sunlight that was pouring into my bedroom. Her wide, dark eyes were often full of mischief. I’m pretty sure it’s why my father loved her so much. She was the perfect foil to his always-serious demeanor.
“Mom!"
She shrugged innocently. “What? It's the truth. And also he can be an asshole. So there's that.”
My mouth hung open.
“Like I didn’t know he opted out of your birthday?” She rolled her eyes. “He never did deserve you. Besides, you can't be in a relationship where you have to direct the other person on basics. Imagine that in bed. 'To the left, to the left!' Sex is not a Beyoncé song. Unless it's ‘Drunk in Love.’ That’s different."
Oh my God. Ground, swallow me up now. She was impossible. But as always after five minutes with my mother, I felt better … lighter.
There was a knock at the door, and she answered before I could. It was Michael, and he froze in the doorway when he saw my mother. “Oh, Penny, I didn't realize you were in here with Mom.”
What he wanted to know was if I’d told her or not. I’d never hated my brother more. And considering I’d spent most of my childhood and adolescence being insanely jealous of him for how much better than me he was at everything that was saying something. “Well, I am. What do you need?”
His eyes settled on me and shifted quickly. Yeah well, if I’d been caught kissing his boyfriend, I'd be embarrassed too. His gaze finally landed on my suitcase. “Are you going somewhere?”
“Yep.” Let him and his new boy toy speculate.
But my mother was too helpful. “Your father has given her an assignment.”
His eyes went wide. “Dad has a job for you? This is a joke right? I mean I love you, but you're not exactly the best Royal Guard.”
I pinned my brother with a glare. He wasn’t wrong. “You can go.”
He looked like he might refuse for a minute but then left.
Mom sighed. “I wish you two got along better.”
He was my big brother. I used to adore him, but now I didn't know what I felt. “Yeah, understatement of the year. I’m sure he’s on his way to talk to Dad and expound on my many shortcomings in an effort to have me removed from this job.”
My mother sighed. "We are all proud of you, Penny.”
“You’re sure Dad is? Because earlier today he couldn't remind me more times to not screw up in front of the king.”
“You only disappoint your father if you don't try. He's proud of you. He loves you."
"The love, I believe; the being proud of me, not so much. Even as he walked me to the office he told me
not to mess it up."
Mother cursed under her breath. "I swear that man. He makes my life more difficult every day. No matter what he says, he loves you and he does believe in you. He just doesn't know how to articulate that properly."
Mom took a deep breath. "Sweetheart, look at it like this. This is your opportunity to break out. You can write your own ticket. I know that the confines of a palace life, the etiquette, and the rules, they chafe at you. You’ve never liked them. You wanted to run around the palace barefooted. You’ve always danced to the beat of your own drummer. So, who better to take on a specialized job like this? You can protect the prince. I know you can."
I lifted my lashes and met my mother's gaze, so like my own. "It's not protecting him that I think will be the problem, it's the getting close to him. Getting him to talk to me. To listen to me about coming home. That's the other part of the job that the king commands."
Her mother grinned. "Talking has never been a problem for you, my darling. I’m pretty sure you came out of the womb talking a mile a minute and asking questions about everything and nothing. I think you can handle that part."
"But you're always telling me to try and be meeker. Talk less. Listen more. Not be so crazy."
"And I fear that I've shoved you into a box that you didn't really belong in. I think that all you need to do is be you. That's how the prince will trust you. If all else fails, flash him."
“Mom!”
“Oh my God, I’m kidding. Relax. Have fun with this. Show everyone what you’re made of.”
I just hoped she was right and I wasn’t making the biggest mistake of my life.
Chapter 6
