“I wanna apologize to you, Bia, for the night I came to your crib and you know, … tried to do what I did.”
“You mean when you hit me and were about to rape me?”
“Oh sorry, I—I just wanted to know if I could take your drink order.” The waitress stood there, eyes wide as fuck since I was sure she’d heard what Bia’s ass had said.
“Yes, strawberry lemonade, please, as well as some sparkling water,” Bia ordered with a smug smile.
“A glass of scotch, please,” I said, but felt Bia watching me like a damn hawk. “I mean, water is cool.”
“Great, be back with that soon.” The waitress left the table.
“Nah, but I’m really sorry about that shit, and not telling you that I had some problems. I mean, I kind of hinted at it, but I admit, I purposely told you in a way where you wouldn’t be able to see it for what it was. I just got used to being able to stop taking my medicine for a few weeks to make sure I worked at my full potential, and then start taking it again down the line. But I started getting so caught up in all the problems in my life, that I never resumed taking it.”
“I just hope you realize that things may be harder while medicated, but it’s better for you. I know you love rapping and performing, but honestly, is it worth you losing your life? There is no telling the type of stuff you could get into while not on your medication.”
“I know.” I didn’t wanna hear this shit anymore.
My pills affected the way I performed on stage and in the studio, and even though I knew keeping my condition under control was more important than anything, I was still having a hard time accepting that. Then the cocaine was getting harder to kick.
“You’ll figure it out.” Bia half smiled.
I thought about when Ricky said to not make our shit all about me, so I quickly snapped from my pity party.
“Enough about me, though; what’s been going on with you? School going aight?”
“Yeah, it is, actually. I thought I would have a hard time getting back into the swing of things, but I really didn’t. I just can’t wait to finish so I can start really taking care of my family; even Taya, with her disrespectful ass.”
“Why you say really? You struggling?” I frowned, feeling like shit because I was so wrapped up in my own world, that I didn’t realize she was probably scrounging money together to pay for shit that was most likely chump change to me.
“I mean, I wouldn’t call it struggling. I get by, but I’m living a check-to-check lifestyle, and I’m trying to break out of that. Some days, I just wanna go get my nails done instead of having to sit and budget for it.”
I nodded, taking her words in.
“You know if you ever need help, I got you, right? Especially something as small as ya nails, Bia. What that shit cost, like $10?”
Laughing, she said, “Nigga, no! It’s $45 for my hands, and $30 for my feet, so trust me, nigga, it’s a bill.”
“Damn, fuck they doing for seventy-five dollars? I’m gon’ find you a bitch that’s doing that shit for fifteen-dollar maximum.”
“Hell no! So she can give me an infection?”
“Aye, but you’ll be saving money.”
“No thank you,” she giggled. Her smile was contagious, so I found myself doing the same.
The waitress came back with our drinks and some bread, then we put in our order. Our food came pretty quickly, and like Ricky had advised, I let Bia take the lead in what we discussed. I was realizing I didn’t really know shit about her besides what she’d told me that day at my crib about her pops leaving and her mom being sick. Come to think of it, she did hint at the fact that she had money problems, but I honestly was too distracted by the fact that I wanted to smash to listen.
We left the restaurant and after some hard convincing, she agreed to come to my house. She wasted no time showing me the Taser gun she had, along with a pocketknife, which Draylah’s crazy ass had convinced her to get. I hadn’t forgotten how she sliced up the homie, so I was sure she’d given Bia a tip or two.
We went to my den where I turned on my TV, and let her find something to watch on Netflix. I didn’t use the shit much unless I had a big break at work and could actually enjoy some shit.
I dimmed the lights a little bit, and then took my shoes off as I sat back down next to Bia on my butter leather couch. Draping my arm over her, I kissed her temple just before she tied her hair up. Feeling her skin and smelling her scent had me on brick status right now, making me bite down so hard on my lip, I was surprised I didn’t draw blood. But I couldn’t have the pussy just yet, and Bia wasn’t even giving off that type of energy, so I knew I wouldn’t get any even if I didn’t have this STD situation.
“You promise to keep taking your medicine?” she inquired, keeping her eyes on the TV.
“Yeah, of course.” I didn’t even know if I believed what I was saying myself. I always said I would, but then some shit would happen in the studio, or I’d feel like my stage performance wasn’t up to par, and I’d stop.
“Good. Because I know I’ve said it before, Qamar, but if you do anything else stupid, I won’t ever talk to you again.” Still her attention was on the television, staring at Gabrielle Union.
“I promise,” I replied lowly just as my phone started to ring. Looking down, I saw it was Lacie, and just that quickly, my mood had decreased. I hit ignore, not ready to deal with every got damn thing in my life. Shit. Could a nigga take baby steps?
“Who was that? You can take it.”
“Nobody important.” I turned the volume up and put my shit on do not disturb so only people on my favorite’s list could get through.
Chapter Seven: Isla
The next evening …
“Mommy, I—”
“Stop all that got damn crying, Michael!” I barked at my son who had been asking about his father all damn day. It hadn’t even been a week since we’d left MG’s ass, and he was having withdrawals. “You are a little boy, so stop acting like a girl!”
“I’m not a girl!” he growled, and folded his little arms. I knew calling him a girl would get his little ass in shape.
I had too much shit on my mind right now to be worried about him wanting his father, especially when MG wasn’t even his dad. If I could go back in time though, I would have never left my comfortable lifestyle with MG for stupid ass Don.
Butch’s ass was supposed to have a plan, but the only shit he could come up with was me sticking by MG’s side while he messed around on me, all for cash. I didn’t mind at first because MG took very good care of me, and there was nothing I wanted for while with him. But I was tired of living a lie, and tired of being treated like trash while MG chased behind Kattlyn.
However, Don, even though he and I had been pretty much estranged since he found out Michael was his, hit me up recently. He was telling me all the things I wanted to hear about how he missed me, loved me, and most importantly, needed me. He said him, Michael, and I could be a family, and to me that sounded perfect. I needed to be with at least one of my children’s fathers, and since Butch was on some bullshit, Don got chosen.
Don let me know that he planned to murder MG in a drive-by like shooting, since he’d heard he and his homies Ricky AK and Qamar had stopped by Ace of Diamonds strip club. He said he was gonna follow them, and once in a deserted area, he and some gang member friend of his would pull it off. I was all for it since I knew Michael and I were beneficiaries of MG’s life insurance policy, and it’d be the perfect way for me to be with Don while reaping the benefits of MG’s money. Not to mention, I would not have to deal with his hating ass mama scolding me for leaving MG, because he’d be dead.
But unfortunately, not only did that easy-peasy drive-by not happen, but Don ended up getting his ass whooped for the second time in less than a year by MG. And that damn gang member was in the hospital on life support because of Ricky AK.
At the moment, I was waiting on his ass to come home from the hospital so I could find out the next move.
I was just beyond stressed, because here I was on the run kind of from MG, and trying to make a home with Don, while pregnant by Butch. To say my life was a mess was an understatement.
“Eat your food,” I directed Michael, just as I heard the door to Don’s home beep.
Don was a mediocrely successful artist, higher than Butch but lower than MG. By saying that, his mansion was nice, but it really wasn’t his. He was renting it, along with most of his luxury cars. But like I said before, I found myself attracted to the needy men, and not the ones who had it all together like MG. The only thing I liked niggas like MG for was their money.
“Hey.” Don came into the kitchen on crutches and looking like someone had hit his ass across the face with a metal pipe.
Don was a sexy ass man with light golden tinged skin, a long beard, and long, dark dreads to match. He had nice hazel eyes, and was way too pretty to be trying to start mess up with MG and his ruffian homies.
“Baby, are you okay? I didn’t know it was this bad. I would have come to see you in the hospital.”
“I told you it would have brought about too much damn attention. It was hard enough being in there getting treated without every muthafucka and their mama in my business!” Don hobbled to the stool at the bar where Michael was. “And he ain’t get me that bad.”
Nigga, have you seen yourself?
“You’re right, baby.” I started to make him a plate. When I placed it in front of him, we made eye contact, and I gestured towards Michael, who was somberly eating his food.
“Sup, lil’ man.” Don nudged Michael who only briefly looked his way.
“Michael!” I slapped the marble countertops. “Talk!”
“Hi,” Michael replied. Dropping his fork, he whined, “Can I please call my daddy!”
“Aye, little man, guess what?” Don gripped Michael’s petite shoulder. “What if I told you I was your dad?”
“But you’re not,” Michael replied in a confused tone. “My daddy is Black, and you’re white.”
Both Don and I laughed heartily at Michael’s response, as Michael sat there with a serious expression on his little face.
“Nah, man, I’m Black too, I’m just what they call light skinned. But see, Micah was just looking out for you on my behalf while I handled some things. Ask ya mama who your daddy is.” Don pointed to me.
“Yeah, baby, Don is your real daddy.” I smiled at him.
Michael turned to Don, and immediately burst into tears. He was crying so uncontrollably, that he couldn’t hear me telling him to stop. I scooped Michael up and took him to the spare bedroom that he was gonna sleep in. I rocked him slowly as he balled his eyes out like he’d lost the love of his life. And I guess he had because if it were up to me, he’d never see MG again.
Eventually, Michael fell asleep, so I changed him into his pajamas, and then put him under the covers. Going back down to the kitchen, I saw Don sitting at the table looking extremely angry.
“I thought you said he was old enough to fucking understand!”
“He is!”
“Yeah, well he don’t seem like he understands to me! It seems like he wanna go live with that nigga!”
“What do you expect? I told you he was yours and you did a DNA just to say fuck both of us!”
“So you would have left MG to come fuck with me? Nah, I don’t think so. I was some up and comer, and that nigga was already in the top 5 on Billboard. No fucking way.”
“You don’t know that. But we need to figure something out because I can only hold Michael away from MG for so long.”
“I wish that nigga would come for my seed.”
“Baby, I don’t mean any disrespect, but clearly, we need another plan outside of you going against him. Y’all have fought twice, and you lost both times.”
“Who the fuck you talking to like that?” Don got up slowly, crutches under his pits. “You better not ever say that shit again! I never lose, that nigga just caught me slipping both times!”
“What happened to you killing him?” I ignored his bullshit statement. I knew full well that MG had whooped his ass fair and square.
“Shit didn’t go as planned.”
“Yet, you still decided to tell him about Michael? What the hell possessed you to do that!”
“Look, he pissed me off and the shit just came out! Why the fuck you care anyway? You going back to him?” Don hobbled over to me.
“No.” I dropped my head and looked off.
Why did I even listen to him? I should have stuck with Butch’s plan because at least I still had MG as my safety net. Not to mention, my feelings for Butch were way stronger than the ones I had for Don. I didn’t even love Don anymore. Actually, I don’t think I ever did, which I was just now realizing. He was simply a getaway for me because MG was becoming too big. But back then, I was completely obsessed with Don as if he was the love of my life. Then once Michael got here, we pretty much cut all ties and only conversed randomly at that video shoot years down the line, which blew up my relationship with MG.
“I’m gonna go to bed, Don.”
“Nah, you gon’ suck this dick.”
Blowing out hot air, I waited for him to sit down before dropping down to my knees and doing as he’d asked.
***
The next day …
Just because I didn’t like the fact that MG didn’t need me since he had his own, didn’t mean I didn’t want the nice shit I had. I was only able to get so much when I left him, so at the moment, I was on my way to get the rest of my things.
My stomach was turning and flipping and everything else right now, because I was just wishing I could rewind time and not have even answered Don’s call. He literally had just started talking to me two weeks prior, and I was dumb enough to go along with his plan all to give Michael a family. Who, might I add, didn’t even appreciate it.
“Girl, you’re one of those people who makes dumb decisions and doesn’t learn from it,” Diana spoke through the car since my iPhone was hooked up. “And I can’t believe you didn’t tell me Michael wasn’t MG’s, and neither is this new baby. Just a damn dummy.”
“Thanks a lot.”
“I mean seriously, ... Don? I could understand if you left because Butch told you to, because that’s new, but Don? Girl, do you have a conscience? A voice in your head? Don hasn’t thought about you for ages!”
“I guess I got caught up in how I used to feel for Don. Also, he is my real baby daddy, so I wouldn’t be living a lie.”
“Yeah, well back then, you were just on his dick when you had a good man at home. Just like with Butch. And speaking of Butch, what does he think of all this?”
“He doesn’t know, and for now, I’d like to keep it that way. Look, I’m here, I have to go.” I hung up.
Pulling into the large roundabout driveway, I got out then helped Michael out of the back seat. He refused to stay at the house alone with Don, and Don was being an ass, so he made me take him anyway.
“Yayyyyy!” Michael jumped up and down as I stuck my key into the door. I was surprised it even worked.
Going inside, I sighed out of relief at the fact that no one appeared to be home. MG always parked his cars in his garage, so there was no way for me to tell upon pulling up.
“Come on, baby, and be quick.” I grabbed Michael’s little hand, and led him up the stairs towards the bedroom I shared with MG.
Once inside, I made Michael sit down, and then began going through my drawers. I didn’t even have the shit in my empty duffle bag before the bedroom door came open.
“Daddy!” Michael jumped his little self off of the bed and darted to MG. MG scooped him up and hugged him, with his eyes hard on me the entire time.
“Hurry up, get yo’ shit, and leave, but without him,” MG spoke calmly. I mean, I expected him to be a little more broken up about me ditching him.
“I’m not leaving my baby, especially when he’s not even yours.”
“He is mine. I raised him and took care of him
, so he’s mine. I don’t give a fuck what you or that fake rich ass nigga Don say.”
I hurriedly stuffed more of my things into the duffle and then zipped it up. Walking towards MG, I tried to grab Michael but MG shoved me back. I was so surprised, I said nothing for a brief moment.
“Give me my baby!” I roared, angry as hell that he didn’t care. Angry as hell that I’d stupidly blew up my life twice for a man I didn’t even love like that. And angry as fuck that the man I did love, Butch, wouldn’t want anything to do with me once he found out what I did, and how I was sucking the dick of another man, that wasn’t MG, with his baby inside of me. “Give him to me!” I sobbed as my baby Michael looked at me in disbelief.
Shaking his head out of pity and disgust, MG replied, “You’s a dumb ass bitch. I did everything for yo’ ass and you still ain’t act right.”
“It’s not all about money and nice things!”
Placing Michael to the floor, MG’s brows furrowed as a deeply embedded frown appeared on his face.
“All about money? I fucked you good, I treated you good, and was always there for yo’ ass. The money shit was just a bonus, something to shower you with for being down for a nigga when he wasn’t really about shit.” Tucking his lips in, he then said, “You know, Isla, I don’t get it. Bitches beg for a nigga like me, and you had it. I could have fucked around on you and you wouldn’t have known. I could have whooped yo’ ass, and I know you wouldn’t have left. Yet, I did none of that shit, and you went behind my back to fuck some nobody ass nigga. Then fucked our shit up by being caught between that same nigga and his accusations, which I’m realizing ain’t really accusations no more.”
“You didn’t need me, Micah! I want a man who needs me to—”
“I did fucking— baby, go play in your room, aight?” He lowered his voice for the second half of his sentence when talking to Michael, who rushed out. “I did fucking need you, Isla. I needed you to hold me down, help me raise my son, and be my peace of mind as my woman. But I see you want a nigga to need you for money, ya pussy, and any other superficial things. Yeah, you’s a dumb ass bitch. You’re attracted to niggas who need saving, and since that wasn’t me no more, you ain’t want this.” MG nodded as if he was starting to understand. “Go, and take whatever you want because I don’t need the shit. But you ain’t taking Michael.”
She Got It Bad for a Heartless Gangsta 2 Page 19
