“Moonstone- this represents new beginnings and guidance to our destinies, aiding in understanding and cleansing negativity. I shall place it over your sacral charka. Representing our feelings in social situations, self-worth and intimacy.”
Moonstone was beautiful too. Iridescent white, gleaming hues of blues pinks and greens. It was placed just a few inches below the last.
“This last stone is amber. Cleansing negativity, it converts all negativity to positive, bringing clarification. This will be placed over your root charka- the first of the chakras. This is our core for survival and houses all of our security issues.” Like rich honey frozen in form but clear and smooth. She placed it over my pelvic bone.
“Now turn your palms up to the heavens. Our palm’s placed up allows us to absorb energy into us. It makes us open to accept the gifts of the universe. Because human beings as well as all things in this world are constructed of pure energy, this is a great method of powering ourselves. Imagine a great magnet drawing in not just energy but the very essence of the universe. Remember thoughts are much like requests to the universe. Think bad things and bad things will come.
“But don’t worry. This meditation is purely to cleanse your mind and body in the fullest. I will guide you through the beginnings of your meditation. Once you enter deep trance meditation I will leave you to yourself.” Her smile was soft and soothing as her fingers began moving from one stone to the next as if she were somehow connecting them with an invisible string.
“Close your eyes. Feel the warmth from the light of the candles and energy of the stones. This warmth floods your body with tranquility. Breath in the incense slow and deep.”
She mimicked the breathing. “Let the smell of the burning sage and jasmine travel through you and ease your mind. As you breathe out let all your anxiety flow out of you with each breath...”
Her voice continued to guide me through the same breathing steps until it faded away and all I could hear was the sound of my breathing. Time slipped away from me. Before I knew it, I had fallen asleep. Of course, the dreams came on quickly. Once again, I was transformed into the other girl. So I thought at least.
* * * * *
In the middle of a thick magnificent jungle, huge trees that were draped in the brightest hues of green grew densely. Ivy hung all around as if a web were connecting all forms of plant life and flowers grew everywhere in every color and size, some bigger than my entire body even.
The strangest part of this place was the jungle floor. There was no dead vegetation covering the ground. Anywhere plants did not grow the earth was covered in pure white sand. Beneath my bare feet it felt soft as baby powder. I stood in a very small clearing. Before me there was a small hole dug and set up as a fire pit. In it a fire burned there already, aside from red and yellow it burned a pure magnificent white.
Kneeling down before the small fire I reached to my right where clusters of wooden bowls were laid out, each containing something different. Red powders and white ones, yellow grains and iridescent blue beady looking things- one contained a thick red liquid and the one beside it a lock of long human hair that was a wavy dark ashy brown.
While chanting words unknown to me I threw different amounts of all the various things in to the fire. To my left was a blade, hand crafted but beautiful. Picking it up I sliced my left palm deeply without hesitation or even a wince of pain and mixed my blood with the bowl of red liquid. Registering it mentally as blood as well.
Taking the knife, I cut a large lock of my own hair and braided it in with the other. I poured some of the bowl of blood over the braid. All the while engrossed with the chant whilst placing the hair into the fire. At long last I picked up the bowl drinking down the rest of the blood myself without so much as a scoff.
As I looked up to see across from me, leaning against a tree was a very crudely made mirror. Its reflection was wavering but what I saw was shocking. In every dream from before, I was an entirely different person. But the reflection was me. Really me, Lianna. Not the girl from the dream who spoke a language I had never been able to place.
Even after twelve years of studying different languages, I had never identified it.
Never once had I been aware of my real self either. I looked away from the mirror down at her hands confused to see tan skin covered in exotic painted tattoos and worn homemade jewelry. Everything from silver to leather all uniquely and exquisitely decorated in beads and jewels. Hair hanging down past her waist was straight raven black.
Looking down at the clothing, she had sheer vanilla cloth wrapped around her hips in a very short mini skirt fashion. Over her breast the same material barely covering much at all. As well, the same tattoos covered her body head to toe.
Instantly I looked back at the mirror to see pale skin and auburn hair hanging half way to the elbows. We wore the same clothing and jewelry, minus the tattoos.
Every feature in the mirror was my own, yet every feature of the woman in the jungle was someone else’s. Somehow we were both here together, our conscious bodies and minds coexisting as one but neither of us could understand the other.
Ohhh let me tell you it’s a strange feeling having someone share your head.
After a few minutes of sitting and wondering how I could communicate with her she reached with her left hand to gather up a good deal of sand, using it to put out the fire.
In the same instant, I woke up alone back in the room in the Wildflower. It was dark though. The candles had burned out. It didn’t bother me though, I was very used to the dark. What bothered me was the taste of blood in my mouth with no feel of pain. A quick inspection with my tongue. No busted lip. No bitten cheek or tongue. I shivered.
“Neesa!” I yelled, wondering if I could take the stones off myself or not. I wasn’t going to give her a second more than a minute before taking them off and getting out of here. Just an instant after that thought, the door opened spilling light into the room.
“Hey, Anna.” Neesa stood in the door flipping the light on. Thankfully, the light was very dim but it still caused me to squint as my eyes adjusted. “Sorry. Least it’s not too bright though. How do you feel?”
Shrugging to evade her question, in turn I asked another one. “How long has it been?”
“Two hours. Anna... there’s-- you’ve got blood on your mouth sis. Are you okay?” Her eyes were wide and nervous. Just as they had been during the reading she’d given me.
Cleaning my mouth off with the back of my hand, I gave a slight nod. “Help me up.” Strangely, I hadn’t budged an inch. Even my hands were palm up, I realized.
Neesa quickly came to my side and started removing the stones, placing them into a small bowl left on the shelf with the candles. Once she was done, I sat up slowly to make sure I didn’t get dizzy. Surprisingly, no feeling of vertigo came over me and I wasn’t even stiff from laying in such a way for so long.
“I’ll leave you to get dressed and wait for you in the hall. Momma’s ready for you in the reading room.” Somehow, I bet she didn’t mean books.
“Alright.” With that she left with the bowl of stones and shut the door.
VII“RAIN”
The next two weeks went by rapidly. When someone tried to speak to me at work suddenly, I would become quite busy. One horrible night I’d gotten into a god awful fight with Carrie in the back store room. John got himself involved. He followed me out that night as I left for work and followed two blocks before I stopped hearing footsteps.
Mostly I didn’t answer my cell phone but when I did it was to answer calls from classmates needing help with one thing or another or to reschedule a study session. We’d all agreed to stick to the online sessions for a while. It wasn’t the flu affecting Jenny. We didn’t ask what it was but we all wished well. I sent an e-card and I ordered flowers online to be sent.
Work was the hardest of course. It was very easy to keep busy on our heavier workdays but on slower evenings, it was very nearly hell. Neesa was the one most concerned or at
least the one who was freaked out because she knew the reason for my silence.
“Anna, you have got to talk to me! You haven’t said more than two words to me since we left my momma’s place two weeks ago!” She grabbed onto my arm begging me with her eyes. Her full mocha painted lips trembled ready to cry. Again. Call me heartless but I felt no sympathy for her.
“Neesa, I’m fine, really. Now please just drop it already.” It came across harsh as frostbite but it couldn’t be helped any longer. Smiling as big and fake as ever, I left Neesa staring after me as I took off with a pitcher of water around the tables.
As I tried to duck into the servers station Carrie came busting through bumping into me and dumping the remains of the pitcher all over me, the counter and the floor. “Watch it, creeper!” she hissed in a rage while pushing past me to get to the bar. John snickered as he watched. Carrie was smug with satisfaction.
It was the first time I had ever felt as if my anger were a living breathing organism within me, not just a part of who I was. My eyes clinched shut as I took a deep breath to fight the rage that had boiled up so suddenly out of nowhere.
My hands were shaking as I put the pitcher down on the counter. Of course, there were no towels in sight either. So I took off my half soaked apron and made an attempt to stop the water from the counter creating a steady flow to the floor, all while scraping ice cubes into the sink.
Without my realizing anyone else had even seen the display, Damien came up behind me armed with some fresh white towels and helped me mop up the mess- in silence thankfully. Neesa hadn’t been the only person I had put off speaking to at work.
Damien and I had only spoken as trainee and trainer in the last several weeks and even that was fairly minimal considering he was too damned good at the job. Of course, every night we left work he would stand at his open passenger door waiting for me. Every night I walked past him in the back parking lot and down to the sidewalk without a word or glance in his direction. I knew he followed me home the night Carrie and I had gotten into it. I ignored him.
He seemed to excel more at this job than anyone else did, never making a single error on an order or dropping anything. Yet he was faster than any of us.
In fact, last week Rachel had a tray filled with glasses, she tripped over the servers mat when the corner was flipped up. (She’s nearly as accident prone as I am) Damien caught her and the tray. Not a single thing fell.
When he wasn’t busy he was behind the bar boosting John’s tips to an ample sum. John didn’t even offer to split them as far as I knew.
Once the counter and floor were dried up, I reached for two glasses filling them with ice before I moved them to the soda fountain. Usually I could hold three glasses in the palm of my hand and fill each one with a different soda at once but as I attempted the task for just two glasses both of them fell, one hit the counter. The other bounced to the floor and shattered, sending sticky sweet soda, ice and glass everywhere. I nearly kicked the stainless steel. Hell, I nearly screamed.
With my hands still shaking, I braced myself against the sterling counter and clinched my eyes shut. Under my breath I cursed in every language I knew while biting hard enough onto my lip to break the healed split back open.
For the record, I speak French, Spanish, Russian and Italian. Every one of them was used now, especially the Russian. Thanks Babushka.
I was ready to scream and cry all at once. It had been so many years since I had last cried, I wasn’t about to start doing so here at work or in front of Damien no less. “Anna, it’s alright I got it. Go take a break.” Damien grunted with more than a little annoyance in his tone. It wasn’t surprising he found the double mess irritating but I couldn’t help it. What did it matter if he thought of me as an idiot now?
“Okay. Table five, section two. They’re for Rachel.” Yes, I should have thanked him at some point there but I didn’t. All I could do was walk out the back. My feet dragging me all the way. As I was passing the office, I saw Mike through the cracked door.
With just a brief hesitation, I turned to open the door and leaned on the frame. “Mike, we’re dead slow and I don’t have any tables. Do you mind if I head home? I have another headache.”
Mike glanced to the clock on his desk and then a reservation book to his left without once looking up to me thank goodness. I could feel my eyes getting puffy. In fact I was certain they were red rimmed already. “Yeah. That’s fine, Anna. Enjoy your weekend. Feel better.”
With a quiet sigh of relief and a silent prayer to no one in particular, I shut the office door softly and turned for the back door. A promising glowing exit sign glared above it as if lighting my way to freedom.
“Everything alright?” Damien spoke from behind me, leaning on a wall near the kitchen. I didn’t plan to answer him and I told myself in rapid unison to not look at him either. Just give a nod and walkout before my hammering heart could stop me. Somehow, I knew that man had more than the capability of breaking my resolve. “She’s just worried, Anna... She doesn’t want to lose you.”
“All due respect, Damien, you’ve no idea what you’re talking about. So just stay out of my business.” The second my hand touched the back door to push it open Neesa burst into the room. Damien was wise enough not to say anything. But he didn’t leave either.
“Anna, don’t leave! Please just talk to me! Can I at least come over later?” she called after me while I walked outside leaving her yelling at a closed door.
Not two steps away from Riads, an explosive clack of thunder startled me enough to give a sharp gasp. Working to compose myself quickly, I paused, waiting to see the lightning follow. I counted to see how long till the rain came. But rather than seeing the lightning someone grabbed hold of my arm.
Instantly jerking around ready to kick the hell out of someone, I froze seeing Damien. “What are you doing out here?” Even though I wanted to, I couldn’t pull away from him. His grip was gentle but sure, he wasn’t going to let me go.
“Walk with me.” He stared down at me with eyes that gave me more chills than a winter’s harsh breeze. I let the silence linger between us for what felt like decades.
“Please?” I don’t know if it was the understanding look in his eye or the touch from his cold hand that sent simultaneous chills while warming me from the inside out. Maybe the fact that for once he didn’t look at all amused but I couldn’t say no.
“It’s going to rain. You’ll get wet,” feebly I argued against him. As if my feet were filled with magnets, I unconsciously moved closer to him.
“So? You like it. Don’t you.” It wasn’t a question. So I didn’t answer him. If he really didn’t mind the rain then that was fine by me. With his hand still on my arm he tugged me another step closer. “Walk with me.”
With a nod of my consent, he turned me, keeping our pace slow and steady. His hand on my arm hesitated before sliding down to wrap around my hand snugly. His hands were cold but firm and strong. It felt intoxicatingly good. Like a cold fire had wrapped me up and would never let go. At least I wished it wouldn’t.
Just after eight at night, the sky was nearly black as we walked down the sidewalk together. My mind felt sluggish. I couldn’t remember the last time I slept more than two hours solid or even in a night. This was the first time I had been alone with Damien since a couple of weeks ago in the office.
“How did you leave work so quick?” I couldn’t help but ask seeing as he followed me out just seconds after I left.
“Same way you did. Actually I was clocked out before I found you in the server station.” He shrugged off the excuse.
He’d stayed to help me after it was time for him to leave. “I never said thank you and now I also owe you an apology it seems,” my voice was still horse from the knot in my throat I had earlier.
A sniggering snort rumbled from his lips. “Pfft. You owe me nothing,” he dismissed my comment easily.
My brows rose in question of the noise. “Did you just snort?” I looked up at him
with merely a mock of my usual sarcasm.
“Maybe.” He stopped walking and leaned closer to my ear before making a true blue piggy snort sound against my neck. The sound combined with such a serious expression sent me straight into a burst of laughter. Albeit a little hysterical.
“Okay.” Clearing my throat to collect myself and stop the near frenzied laughter. “So why did you follow me out here? To ask me to go on a walk with you? In the rain no less?” As I spoke, mist seemed to swirl around us. Almost as if the weather had yet to decide on just what it felt like doing.
“Why not?” He took a step pulling me along with him to get me to start walking again.
“You’re unusual, Mr. D’Tera.” Speaking in a near mumble before sucking my bottom lip into my mouth to hide the smile trying to sneak up on my lips. His brow rose as he shot me a mock threatening look. “Mr. Damien, no middle initial listed on driver’s license D’Tera.” I grinned.
He chuckled. “So I’ve been told. Don’t worry. You’re not so normal yourself, Miss Lianna Loraine Von. Now quit biting that lip, it’s too pretty for you to chew it off,” he said it just to tell me he knew more about me than I had realized. Again, he left me wide eyed with surprise and wonder. Also, I quit chewing on my lip- for the time being anyways.
We were walking down the street to the pier when another clack of thunder bellowed through the sky making me jump again.
Damien chuckled slightly and pulled me closer. He let go of my hand only to wrap his long arm around my shoulders, keeping me held flush against him. “Funny, you don’t seem the type to be afraid of thunder.” Looking down to me, Damien’s grin spread mockingly as we walked.
“I’m not. Okay well I’m not usually. Just been a rough couple weeks. I guess I’m a little jumpy.” Looking up at him with the beginnings of a defensive scowl, the hard expression melted as he looked back in a way that stripped away all my defenses as easily as could be.
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