“Maybe.” He shrugged as if it didn’t matter. The pain of my realization was worse than any broken bone. His hands found my cheeks. “Honey, it’s alright.” I couldn’t breathe. “It was my decision to make. And I would do it again.” I was in morbid shock. “Lianna.”
“Why would you do it?” Shaking my head, I pushed off from him. “Where’s my phone? I have to call Neesa. She can’t do this. She-” Damien sat up his arms wrapping my shoulders.
“Lianna, I have no intentions of ever breaking that promise. Or do you still not get it?” His hand found my cheek and turned my chin so that I would look at him. There was a thick lump of unease balled in my throat. I was furious with Neesa and I was horrified for Damien. Neither thought nor cared what any of this implied for me.
I was feeling better physically but mentally I’d been put through a turbine. For a very long time I sat unmoving. Staring at nothing and seeing less than that. My mind was focusing very hard on not thinking of what he’d told me. It was difficult. I was hurt and angry. The subject had to change before my mind just collapsed in on itself from the weight of the chaos that was my life. As always, he gave me all the time that I needed.
“So what was the deal with the bloodstone?” I had wanted to know since it happened. He complied diligently.
“It’s because of our nature. It’s complicated to explain.” He sat beside me on the bed, leaning back on his hands and took a moment to compile his thoughts.
“Basically what causes it to cleanse and repair your blood cells kills ours. The more pure and unprocessed the stone the stronger they tend to be. Over all the results tend to vary depending on our exposure.”
One hand came up to brush my hair back. “For example-” His fingers stroked slowly over the curve of my lips. “If I kissed you deeply right now I would become weak if not quite sick, I’m sure. If I drank your blood-” His fingers slowly stroked from my lips down over the hollow of my neck. “It may even kill me, if I took too much. It makes us incredibly weak you see. It will take a couple days to clear from your blood stream.”
“And touching it directly?” His touch chilled me and lit me on fire all at once. My voice barely came out in a mere whisper. Damien was enjoying this far too much.
“Burns.” His fingers slowly pulled my hair back to drape over my other shoulder. Yeah, so did his voice.
“But touching me?” My voice quivered.
“Burns in an entirely different way.” Without directly touching me, he leaned closer. Breathing me in. So close, I could feel his cool breath tickle my flesh.
“How strong was the stone Neesa used?” My voice trembled still as his lips slowly drug over my flesh from my collarbone up just behind my ear.
“Very,” he mumbled between kisses.
“B-but you’re kissing me now?” My fingers began to tremble as they held tight onto my knees to keep them from shaking.
“Not really.” His lips brushed my neck with light laughter.
“Oh. Okay...” Was all I seemed able to say as my neck tilted to the side. As I did he pulled back, so suddenly it was like a switch in him had just shut off completely.
“I guess I just enjoy torturing myself.” He shrugged casually. His arms slid around my waist and pulled me closer to him as he sat back against the head of
the bed.
“Not just yourself apparently.” I mumbled while sinking back against him.
He chuckled. “Ah, sorry for that.” Uhu, sure he was. Idly his hand stroked my bare thigh from my knee up to the hem of my shorts.
“Okay then. So now what?” I took a deep breath to calm myself.
“Mmm. Well, you should get some sleep soon. Tomorrow we can get some things in order and then the next day we can leave. Italy perhaps?”
“Oh.” I swallowed on my dry throat. My body was ridged and tense from my fingers to my toes.
“What’s wrong?” He questioned, his fingers sliding easily up under my shirt to trace the tattoo on my side again.
“Nothing. Just not tired I suppose.”
Damien looked thoughtful a moment while his fingers traced the tattoo as if he knew precisely every vine. He probably did. Snaking his arm around me completely he readjusted us both. “So what would you like to do then?” I lay down on my back with him laid beside me. Damien lay propped up by his elbow so that he could look down at me. A smug satisfied grin spread his lips.
My first thought was out of the question. The second thought amused me. “Ask you questions that make you uncomfortable.”
The down side of this was they also made me uncomfortable. However with all things in life it is better to be uncomfortable than left dumb and blind.
His brow twitched and I swear I could feel him trying to read my mind but unless he had been lying we both knew my mind was running on autopilot at high speeds so he couldn’t. At least I hoped not. “Well?” He asked curiously, as he starred down at me.
His fingers tugged my shirt up above my belly button and traced patterns across my flesh light enough to tickle.
Nervous laughter fell from my lips as I turned to him a little more. “What’s the plan here? You run me around the world, for what? Just to protect me? What exactly is this?” To try and make him understand what I was talking about, and judging by his expression it was good thing I did, my hands motioned between us.
Were we a couple? Did I just get turned into a carry out dinner at his will? I just couldn’t compute everything that had happened in the last several weeks without blunt answers anymore. Thus the autopilot. What was happening? He said he loved me. What did that mean to him?
What did that mean for me?
He didn’t say anything. Instead, he starred at me for a very long very silent amount of time. All the while, a devilish smirk tugged at his lips.
Luckily for me, I had learned time had practically no meaning to him so sometimes it just took a very long time for him to answer. I didn’t like it, but I was learning to deal.
“What exactly do you want it to be?” He finally asked. His lips still twisted with amusement even though his intense peridot green eyes sparkled with pure curiosity. The fingers kept roaming.
“That’s not fair. You don’t get to answer questions with questions. I’m pretty durable. You don’t have to worry about my feelings, so let’s hear it.” Not only was I durable but I have always been known for being stubborn.
“You’re not at all durable, Lianna. That’s the problem I’m having.” He sighed as his amusement faded away.
“Does the problem have anything to do with a certain blood promise?” He frowned at my question and shook his head. No? Or just disapproving?
“I’m sorry, I don’t know how to answer your questions. This is all as new to me as it is for you. All I am sure of is I need to be with you and I need to keep you safe.”
“Need to be and want to be are very different things.” Why was I trying to ruin this for myself? He was insanely gorgeous, sweet and he cared about me. The list could go on for decades. Hell, he didn’t have flaws that I could even identify.
“And the fact I’m a Vampire doesn’t make your list of flaws? Interesting.” He smirked again, looking all appropriately amused.
My eyes narrowed in some annoyance that also caused a heavy sigh. Though I didn’t comment, I knew he could read my mind, at least in part. No, it wasn’t a fault. If he hadn’t been a Vampire I’d be dead right now. So no, definitely not a fault.
Damien shrugged casually, as if a simple shrug explained everything perfectly. “And for your information need and want are the same things for me in this situation.” His expression read, “Hah. So there.” Combined with complete sobriety.
“Good to know. Where does this leave us exactly?” It was my turn to show smug amusement.
“I wish I knew. I’m sorry I don’t know what to say. There was never a plan, Anna. Certainly, it seems foolish but truly, I just want to be with you. It was only my hope you would be happy and safe with me.”
I caught the f
lash of sadness and worry in his eyes. Then just as quickly it was gone, replaced by utter calm and control. “I’m human... Do you plan keeping me this way?”
He had no answer. Damien looked away from me. Finally, after a few minutes his head shook. Fingers tracing circles around my belly button. “I knew this conversation was coming and yet even after all this time-” Gently he tugged my shirt up high so that it covered only my breasts. His arm wrapping around my hips he laid his head against my exposed stomach. “I have no immediate plans either way at this point, I suppose.” He didn’t seem done but seemed deep in thought. The weight of consequences could tip the balance in either direction.
“Turning you does seem so greedy. I’ve weighed the pros and cons and in the end I still don’t know what to do. Several times already I have asked myself what I would do in a dire situation. I tend to be a bit rash at times. It’s a question I’ve been asking myself since the night on the docks. I haven’t been able to come up with an answer yet,” his voice was dark. Only time would tell.
My hands lay to him, one to his shoulder while the other idly ran long strokes through his short shaggy hair.
I wondered how his thoughts played out through his mind. Let her die? Let her exist for eternity? Would he want me by his side for long? I hoped so. But for how long? He obviously wasn’t attached at the hip to whoever turned him. But would he feel burdened to keep me with him from guilt? Would he tire and move on? The possibilities were as endless as my thoughts.
Taking my hand from his shoulder, he kissed my fingers slowly one at a time. He never asked how I felt about it. Perhaps he knew or perhaps he didn’t want to know. His kisses trailed to the inside of my wrist and held there firmly a long time. I felt the slightest vibration as a faint moan rumbled his lips.
The kissing continued as he turned to lay over me gently. Propped on one arm, the other trailed taunting fingers up my arm and down. His lips placed over my heart another long moment. This time I heard his moan more than felt it. My hand running through his hair began to trace circles at the nape of his neck with the tips of my fingers.
His head lifted up and his eyes sought mine with a deep hunger. My hand placed to his cheek, the other still kneading his neck. He turned and kissed my palm without pulling his eyes from mine.
“Lianna, I really need you to believe me when I say the blood promise does not sway how I feel for you. It doesn’t make me tied to you. It only assures Neesa that for as long as you’re in our world you will have someone always willing to be there for you. I didn’t need a blood promise to want that. Nor does it mean your life is to be in danger as long as you are with me. We can go to Italy or anywhere in this world and I will give you as normal a life as you desire.”
My hand brushed his cheek gently. “Don’t lie to me, Damien.” His brow furrowed deeply. Before he could rebut I grinned. “I suck at normal nearly as much as you do. Besides, where’s the fun in life if there is never any danger?” He chuckled as I smiled.
“You don’t have to worry about me not feeling safe with you. I just don’t want to slow your life down. You shouldn’t have to change for me.”
He smiled and kissed against my flesh over my heart moaning softly. “You already have changed me.” He kissed again. “I have been content most of my life. I care very deeply for the members of my House. But in the years many of life until now, I’ve not known I could feel so intensely about one other being.”
Call me pessimistic. Call me sarcastic. The two were so muddy with what I said next I didn’t even know the difference. “Well now you can feel intensely about a great many things and they don’t all have to be pleasant. You can detest someone intensely. Feel intense hate.” My hand waved as if I could go on a ways.
He glared up at me teasingly. In a smooth motion, he maneuvered to lie between my legs. His hands squeezed my hips and ran up slowly. He kissed against my slender stomach. “Hmmm, what I feel intensely about? I feel very intensely about you. I care for you intensely. Intense protectiveness.” His fingers spread up rubbing over my ribs. His head dipped nipping my belly button.
“Intense longing- Intense want- Intense ache- Intense desire.” Between each syllable, he placed a kiss on my stomach. Eight fingers slid under my shirt and under the band of my bra. His fingers mostly behaving. “Intense passion.” Kiss. His thumbs ran up over my shirt against my breasts.
I inhaled deeply. His tongue flicked at my belly button. I let out a long gust of breath. “Incredibly… Intense… love.” His lips drug kisses from one hipbone to the other before resting his cheek against the flat of my stomach.
My hand ran through his short hair, tugging lightly. The other clutched tightly to his shoulder, enough for my nails to be digging into his flesh. I hadn’t even realized I was doing so. He looked up to me with a look of hunger in his eyes I had never seen before. It wasn’t one of thirst.
We laid there for what felt like forever. Damien lay perfectly still. As if he was frozen in time. His fingers didn’t trace patterns along my flesh. He just laid there, without breathing for that matter. My hand on his shoulder had removed and lay over his other cool cheek. “Your skin is like fire,” he sounded far from uncomfortable. “A fire I have been longing to feel for most of an eternity.” My heart sped and a full smile swelled devilishly over his lips. “Your heart is pounding.”
“Sorry,” my voice was barely a whisper.
“Why would you be sorry? I like it. In fact I rather enjoy knowing that I can have such an effect on you.” My cheeks burned. He chuckled as he heard the tempo increase and my body grow even warmer.
After laying there for endless minutes my heart had finally slowed. At times, he would turn and resume his trail of kisses. Soon as my heart would begin to speed up again he’d stop and lay his cheek against my stomach to listen. It was perfect bliss.
XVII
“FROM YIN TO YANG”
Damien had stopped breathing completely. It was strange for me. Obviously though, it wasn’t unusual for him.
After a time, his body grew stiff. It was only a slight change but he seemed rigid with tension. I was afraid to move or speak. Had I done something? Was something wrong?
We continued to lay there in silence for another few minutes. He never eased. In fact, I could feel his body grow more rigid with each passing second. In another moment’s time, he’d moved so blindingly fast it was as if he had vanished.
When I realized he was on the floor by the bed I nearly jumped out of my skin. Sitting on the floor, Damien knelt on his knees. His head hung down low, one arm on the bed the other hand holding to his temple. After a moment of hesitation, he rose to stand up, appearing over by the bay doors as he leaned against the frame.
Damien looked utterly distressed by this time. “Damien, what’s wrong?” He shook his head and pinched the bridge of his nose. A habit I was learning induced by stress and pain both. I wondered if it was I that had caused him pain.
“Just a little. Please don’t feel guilty. Or-” He shook his head again. Even by the light of the moon, Damien’s eyes looked glazed over. “Would you hate me terribly if I had to leave you to yourself for a little while?” If it were possible, he looked even more placid than he usually did. Somehow, I didn’t believe it was an effect of the moonlight.
“What’s wrong?” My eyes narrowed as I watched him closely, I noticed the bluish tint under his eyes was darker than usual and his skin seemed nearly translucent.
“Must be an effect from the bloodstone. Nothing I can’t take care of.” Standing immediately by my side he leaned over and kissed my cheek. The effect was chilling. His skin was bitterly cold now.
“Can I ask where you’re going?” I kissed his cheek in return as he pulled away.
“You may not want to know,” he said while rubbing his forehead.
“Tell me anyways.” Stubborn.
“Drinking enough blood usually cures just about anything wrong with us generally.” His blatant expression caught me by surprise as his e
yes focused on me. It was obvious he wanted to know my reaction.
“Good. I hope it helps.”
His brow rose suspiciously but all he could do was give a slight nod. My statement caught him off guard obviously. “It will, I’m sure. Will you be okay here by yourself? I don’t like leaving you alone but-” He paused with a heavy breath. “I don’t have very many options left I’m afraid.”
“I will be fine. Go, have a nice dinner,” my voice had a strange sarcasm to it but what else do you say? He laughed warily and kissed my forehead.
He backed to the door and I stood to follow. His brow rose. “You should sleep. I’ll be a few hours.” I shook my head giving him an in your dreams steady stare. “Very well.”
He turned and left the door of the bedroom and
walked down the hall. His hand clutched the banister as he took each step carefully. I followed.
My arms folded tightly over my chest. “I am sure you can find ways to keep yourself preoccupied. My home is yours. I give my full permission for you to be nosey.” He turned to me as I reached the bottom step and tapped my nose with a faint smile on his lips.
His fingers spread and brushed my cheek just as faint as the smile on his lips. “Just be careful. Whatever you do, do not leave this house. Not even for a moment. Promise me you won’t even open the door.” He could flip from teasing to serious with the simple flip of a switch. “Even if you think you hear me.”
My brow furrowed with a bit of annoyance at the over protectiveness. He stared down at me with his own stubborn way, waiting for my compliance. He wouldn’t leave without it so I gave. “Alright. I promise. You know I’m not done with the questions right?”
Damien shook his head and gave me a weak smile of apology. “Of course you’re not.” He stepped forward, kissing my cheek. “I love you, Anna.”
Then he was gone.
* * * * *
Time went by slowly. I’d settled on the floor lying on my stomach in front of the fireplace after flipping some lamps on.
The fireplace had been easy to start. There were logs already in place and it was switch activated to ignite the logs. Real wood, not the fake shit. The smell was wonderful.
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