* * * * *
“I don’t feel real,” my voice was no louder than a whisper but to me it sounded as if I was yelling.
“It’s a bit strange I imagine. I don’t remember turning. Actually I don’t remember anything before turning. I just remember existing. And the blood.” He didn’t look at me as he drove though I watched him expectantly. I wanted more. More everything. More knowledge. More of his voice. More sanity. More blood.
“Before I knew what I was, I existed like a parasite. Crazed by the voices of others and obsessed with blood. Only the beat of their hearts as I drank would drown out their voices. I enjoyed the monster I was, relishing in death. It was years before I became anything other. Years before I found enough self-control to exist among others of my kind let alone the human race.”
“Are you telling me this because you know I’ll be the same way?”
“No. I’m telling you this because I won’t let you be that way.” He shook his head. His eyes never once glanced in my direction. “It doesn’t have to be that way for you.” There’s something to be said about a man who tries to reassure himself so strongly. Something that says he isn’t so certain.
The silence that lingered between us was palpable after that. Knowing that dwelling on such a possibility could do little to affect my future either way- I began to think of something else. A question I’d had since before I turned. A question I was too afraid to ask at the time. Now it seemed that there was no longer a choice. Without a doubt, I needed to know.
“Before I turned, in the apartment after Paul attacked me, you said that my blood had keyed me into you. It didn’t allow you to hear my thoughts better but that you had connected with me in other ways.” I needed a moment to think of the best way to phrase this. His eyes cast in my direction but he said nothing. “That sort of thing happens no matter who you feed from? Or was there a specific reason it keyed you into me aside from you drinking my blood?”
“It happens no matter who you feed from. The more a Vampire feeds from a live human, the stronger their connection.” His jaw clinched tightly as he waited for me to respond.
“That doesn’t seem like a good thing to me, for most situations at least.”
His mouth tightened into a hard thin line as he thought on how to respond. “It isn’t. However, it only happens when you feed directly from the person. If you had cut your hand and poured it into a cup instead, that would not have happened. Drinking from blood bags is the easiest way to not have to worry about it.” He sighed heavily letting out a deep gust of breath. “You’re quite right though. In most situations, either option is undesirable for the Vampire. This is the reason Vampire’s generally kill when we feed.”
XXI
“ONCE UPON A TIME”
“Yes, uh huh. - Yes. I’m bringing her now. - Lara couldn’t have known.” Damien’s lips pressed to a hard line. His brow furrowed. “Very. Yes, I as well. - Thank you, Jezabell. - We’ll be alright, no need for all of that now. - Indeed. We will see you soon. - Until then.” The phone call had been brief but the tone alone made me nervous.
“Who was that?” We hadn’t spoken to one another in hours now. I’d sat with my knees against my chest still as stone watching the images pass by my window like a movie. Transfixed on the world around me as if seeing it all for the first time.
“My sister.” Damien’s voice was detached again.
“I guess she gets to meet me after all now huh?” All he did was nod. Not angry, though he still didn’t seem happy.
And I could see clearly he was little better. His skin was drab. Translucent. Placid. Eyes of ebony. Lips paper white and dry. His veins clearly visible were grey from venom.
“How long can you go without blood usually?” It was a question I had been aching to ask but at the same time afraid to. The answer wasn’t something I was likely going to want to hear.
“Myself? Usually a very long time. Weeks. However, I feed a little every few days generally. It keeps us strong in a great many ways. My family keeps both animal and human blood on hand that they drink regularly. I just don’t care for it.” He shrugged. His shoulders seemed tense. The gesture was stiff. I wondered what he did care for.
“What about me? Will I be able to go a few weeks without it?” I turned to face him. Legs folded beneath me.
Damien shook his head slightly. “No. Not for a while. You’ll probably need to feed every few days, if not more often for some time. The transition wasn’t a very smooth one. You will need more blood to recover.”
“So not everyone dies like that? As I did?” His body grew stiff at my question though he said nothing. Acting as if he didn’t hear me despite that I knew he had.
In the next moment, I learned the drastic grasp my emotions had on my stability. Emotional was putting it mildly. My temper flared. I had never liked being ignored but now suddenly I wanted to scream. In silent response my nails dug into my legs.
My mind was racing and I was already hungry again. Hungry, forever hungry. Every emotion led to one place- hunger. Excitement? Hunger. Joy? Hunger. Anger? Extreme hunger. Anxiety?
Breathing in deeply the humid air through the window, I could smell it. Blood.
An animal near the road, likely a deer. As the smell seemed to electrify and stimulate every cell in my body I became perfectly still. My senses on high alert soon I could hear the sound of the animal’s heart. It was large.
Yes. A deer. The heavy beating heart of a deer as its blood pumped through his artery’s like divine wine tempting me with its splendor.
It was not long before I realized the change in the
atmosphere. Frustration. The tension was thick enough you could cut it with a knife. Raising my eyebrows nervously I looked over to Damien.
His hands were gripped tightly around the steering wheel. It looked like it may break. “What’s wrong, Damien?”
“Anna, you can’t ignore your thirst for any reason. Especially not now. I know this is hard but it does no good for anybody if you lose control. Thirst is extremely hard to manage as it is. Especially given the circumstances and not to mention you’re a New Blood.”
Still irritated I didn’t say anything, opting to look out the window instead. Ignoring him just as he’d done to me before.
Damien frowned. We pulled off the road and pulled down a smaller path that was over grown and looked as if it didn’t really lead anywhere.
A soft sigh fell from his lips. He leaned closer to me and gave me a gentle long kiss on my cheek. His fingers gently stroked through my hair, which was already dry. “I’m sorry, Lianna. Truly. I’ll be back in just a moment. Please stay in the Jeep, okay?”
Forcing a curt nod, my fingers dug into my legs brutally as I stared out the window. Damien’s face was set into a deep frown as he twisted his body around, digging through some scattered things on the floor of the Jeep in the back seat.
Men. Are all their vehicles cluttered?
He came up with a metal water bottle. I guess he wasn’t ready to watch me rip apart an animal in his Jeep. Within a second, the door slammed shut. I was alone.
It was only a few minutes that I had been left alone but the insanity was overwhelming even for just that long.
Having not budged, my fingernails were digging hard into my calves. Cutting through the jeans and piercing the flesh. Fighting as hard as I could to control myself, I was still trembling.
Despite that I was locked in the Jeep, I could hear everything. The hunt. The kill. The heart slowing to a stop, thudding into silence.
The smell was overwhelming. His scent was musky. The blood. So fragrant I could taste it. Sweet and salty all at once and more ambrosias than I could ever describe in words alone. It was making me insane.
As Damien climbed in and shut the door, he handed over the metal water bottle without a glance in my direction. I stared at it eagerly but I found myself unable to move. Afraid if I moved an inch I’d rip this Jeep apart like a can opener and take off hunting. In another se
cond, I had been moved and was in his lap. Though still shaking just as much as ever, I was too hungry to be humiliated yet.
He opened the metal lid and put it to my lips. The metal had a tawny taste that was overwhelmed and forgotten soon as the blood hit my tongue. I was so taken by the blood in that moment I let out an aching moan. Lustful. Longing. Satisfied.
The warm crimson flooded my mouth and washed down my tongue. Cooling the burn and ache in the back of my throat that now I would compare to a raging fire burning through my insides. The blood was more than replenishing. It was my sanctity.
My hands clutched to the metal bottle, eagerly sucking on it hard until not even a single drop would pull from the metal lip. Sitting there trembling, I tried to fight for my control. After all, I owed Damien so much more. Did I not?
He moved back into his seat after I was settled back into mine. Frenzy went on through the back of my head. A war raged in my body. Fighting the dark shadows creeping up through my very soul.
The darkness from my dreams there to devour the blood and everything it touched. How ironic. I’d become my own worst nightmare.
Damien knew my thoughts on this of course. It was obvious to me that he could feel my emotions very clearly and hear even more of my thoughts. Not for the fact that he could simply read me better but for the fact my mind was less chaotic even when racing.
Every emotion I had was contradicting itself. My mind had been ravaged and my sanity had imploded on itself and I was trying to bring it back together as if it were a massive rope that had unraveled down to the finest twine.
Damien took every road he could possibly manage that would have the least amount of people on it. Of course, it wasn’t possible to drive from Vermont through New York and avoid every car on the road. He kept his hand tight on mine all the while. When I could smell them, which was unavoidable, I laid back in my seat and kept my eyes clamped shut. He kept the music up to try to distract me.
Gulping down, I ran my hands up over my face and pulled my hair back focusing on my breathing. Despite that I did not really need to breathe. Damien watched me out the corner of his eye. It made me want to scream.
Being weak was one thing- and being able to keep it to myself that was fine and dandy. That was tolerable. But this, being so exposed for what I really was. Uncontrolled. Pathetic. I was on the edge of completely losing it. It felt like I had been stripped naked and thrown into a crowd of hundreds of people.
“Sorry” He mumbled with a sigh.
“It’s not your fault.” I grumbled back as I clutched my hands together tightly. “Just do me a favor and help me keep my mind off it. Tell me about your family.” Who all was I going to have to be naked in front of theoretically?
“My sister, Jezabell, was who I spoke to earlier. We call her Jezie usually, or Jez. And Lara. You should know they’re a couple.”
Interesting. Did that mean I had two less women that I would wonder as to if they’d been with Damien? No. Some men like that. The worry faintly increased. Who knew I could be jealous over women I had yet to meet.
“Okay. So they aren’t really your family. What is it like a coven thing? Neesa told me about those once.” Saying her name was hard for me. It was hollow but still the hollowness ached.
“It’s more than that.” He looked over to me with a sigh and continued talking. We both were hoping it would sooth our ill at ease minds.
“Vampires call them Houses. Descendants call them covens. The Faye’s call them kingdoms. And shifters don’t usually have anything like that. But if there is a group of shifters, just like you’ve heard, they call them packs. Immortals are usually loners. Sometimes they couple up but rarely ever more than a pairing.”
He glanced at me again between watching the road. “Our house is a little different I suppose.”
“Why?” I asked in a near whisper as I closed my eyes and lay back in my seat. It took all I had to focus on the fluid grace of his voice and ignore the rest of the world.
“Our House is large for one. Plus, we have all been together for so long we call each other family now. Vampires don’t often stay in one place for very long or with the same people unless they’re together romantically.”
It was stupid for me to get jealous especially after he said that the two women were a couple. But I just kept imagining two gorgeous Vampire women and Damien together for so long… It was hard not to let my imagination stray.
Damien chuckled, reaching his hand across the seat taking mine and squeezing my fingers carefully. Damn mind readers. His touch was gentle. He still thought he was going to break me. I sort of liked that. I squeezed his hand harder simply because I could now. His fingers twitched slightly from the surprise of pressure.
“Don’t let them startle you. I know this is hard for you even if you don’t want to admit it. My family can be a bit much at first. Even intimidating,” his voice grew deeper. Edgy again. “Anyways, we’ll be there within an hour.”
“Okay.” I chewed on my lip. “Damien?” My mouth twisted in the corner as I looked over to him.
“Hm?” His brow arched curiously. He could hear the thoughts begin to form but I didn’t know how to ask. He knew what I meant.
His skin looked thinner than when we’d left Vermont and his composure wasn’t as strong as usual. After all, he had lost his temper so easily. His movement wasn’t fluid. How long would my blood hurt him? How much damage had I caused? Could any of it have been avoided? When would he be better? What could I do to make it right?
“Lianna, I wouldn’t change any of it. I just want to get you some place safe. I’m fine. Promise.” He squeezed my hand bringing it to his mouth, kissing over my fingers.
He lied.
The minutes ticked by slowly for me. All this time I thought he never noticed the time that went by. Yet now that I was like him, I wondered how that could be.
Each second seemed to take an eternity to me. I was so hyper alert to everything. Plus my mind seemed to process things much faster as well.
I wanted to ask him about the three that attacked me. What were they? Why did they choose me?
The only thing I knew for certain at this point was that I had died. My soul had lingered but the body was a corpse. And yet… there I sat. More alive than I had ever felt, despite the lack of heart beat of course.
In another place in my mind, I questioned the meaning of life. Everything had changed so much. Nothing I had once known seemed real any more.
Not since all the imaginary things had become my very existence. There is something to be said for the child who can see the monsters under the bed after all.
“A great author once said, “Children don’t need fairy tales to tell them dragons exist. Fairy tales tell children dragons can be killed.” I suppose there truly is something to be said for that after all. Or who knows maybe he was a dragon himself.”
Damien’s brow arched as he looked to me. “G.K Chesterton?” Silently I nodded. It made him smile, even if in slight.
After what felt like an eternity, Damien followed an unmarked stretch of highway so far that it felt like we were leaving behind all of civilization. Nothing manmade aside from the road could be seen anywhere.
Never had I driven on a road so smooth. The pavement didn’t have one pot hole, one bump or even a crack. Along either side of the road Banyan trees arched overhead casting out the light above.
It was beautiful- Spooky but glorious. The vegetation on either side of us blended with more unusual plants and flowers making it feel as if we had entered an entirely different world. So many colors, all more vibrant than I had ever seen or could have ever imagined a simple forest could ever be.
As fast as Damien continued to drive, it felt as if we were still on the highway but that seemed impossible. No place I had seen before looked anything like this. The drive stretched up, winding up a great hill through a storybook like forest.
Soon the Banyan trees vanished and were replaced with trees straight out of Wonderland.
Each so large in of its self they stood as tall and proud as the Banyan’s but were flowered with large exotic gothic fuchsia like flowers.
My gaze followed them. They stretched lining the road on either side every few yards leading up the road to a house. But it wasn’t just a house. It could have easily been big enough for ten people or more to live there and never feel crowded.
It was so beautiful. Thick midnight blue ivy stretched up the white stone walls. Naturally white with age from the sun. It was glorious, sculpted and exquisite in every way. Molding of marble, elegantly carved wood and cast iron so complex that Da Vinci would have been impressed decorated the exterior in detail.
Massive columns and arches swelled throughout the entire exterior. This was the type of place you see in movies. Homes that could not exist in the real world.
Damien pulled up to the front door, with a massive covered drive supported with glorious monumental stone columns. The engine died. He left the keys in the ignition and within a second my door opened.
He took my hand again and gently lifted me out. His arm went tightly around my waist. He kept me close as we walked up to the house. I was nervous but not afraid of anyone here.
It was the human emotions that lingered in my body that still unnerved me. Silly human emotions. He smiled softly and kissed the top of my head as we reached the front door, whispering into my ear softly, “I won’t leave your side.”
“Never?” I spoke teasingly.
“Never.” He smiled, though his eyes were serious again. He hadn’t knocked but suddenly a lithe, tiny pixie-esque girl sprung out of the house.
She was remarkable. Hair like dark chocolate hung in curling tendrils, woven with dozens of tiny white flowers that fell long past her hips. She wore a dress that came to her mid-thigh. Pale cream silk embedded with tiny crystals that reflected rainbows in every direction.
Obviously designer clothes were quite common among Vampires. She looked as if she belonged on a runway.
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