Will looks at me as he parks the car. “Let’s go out, you and me, after my date. We can just hang out.”
I smile. “I’d love that.”
“Me too.”
We walk to the end of the sidewalk together. “I guess I’ll see you later then.”
He nods. “Have a good time.”
“You too,” I say, and then Will leaves me there to explore on my own.
…
An hour later, I’m leaving the Charleston City Market, this really cool place where local vendors come to sell products. I check it out every week. There are a lot of great pieces. I’m about to eat my arm off though, full on zombie-mode, if I don’t get some food soon.
I turn the corner and freeze. Beau is there.
His back is to me, but I’d know him anywhere. It’s one of those moments where I want to run, but there’s nowhere to go. We’re literally trapped together, vendors on each side of us and an exit on either end of a building. I can go forward and hope to pass him, or backward. If he sees me he’s going to know Will isn’t with me. How will I explain that? We didn’t plan for this, and I’m fixing to get caught with my pants down.
I’m mid-turn in retreat when he looks at me. Right at me.
I bolt.
I move as fast as I can, through the people and past a super cute scarf that I totally want to buy. It’s one of those chase scenes in a horror movie where you want to look over your shoulder but you shouldn’t because the killer will be right behind you with a chainsaw—and boom, you’ll trip over a tree branch or fluffy puppy and die. That is not how I want to go out. I’d rather face it head-on. “It” being a murderer with a chainsaw and a trip to the pearly gates. That’s way less scary than lying to Beau Montgomery’s face.
“I thought that was you,” Beau says.
I jump. What is he, a magician? How in tarnation did he get right in front of me? I splash on a smile. “Hey! Beau!”
My brain is having a meltdown because I already know what he’s fixing to ask before he utters a word of it. Bless my heart, I’m in more trouble than a rabbit stuck in a bear trap.
Beau looks around me. “Aren’t you here with Will?”
“I am,” I say and change the subject as fast as I can. “What are you doing here?”
“Ma and her boyfriend drove up for dinner.” He stuffs his hands into his pockets nervous-like.
“How is your mom? I didn’t know she had a boyfriend.”
Beau shrugs. “Ma is good, I guess, and she likes him.”
There’s a lot in that sentence the boy isn’t saying. Probably be nicer for me to act as if I didn’t hear anything, but I’m trying to stall. Plus, I do care about what’s going on in his life. “Do you? Like him?”
“He’s not bad or anything.”
“That’s a glowing recommendation.”
“It’s hard to explain,” Beau says, scrubbing a hand down his neck. He looks at me, and I wish I knew what he was thinking.
“I can’t imagine what that’s like for you.”
“What?”
“To watch your mom move on, after your dad.”
“Yeah,” he says quickly. Beau crosses his arms, and they’re right in front of my face so it’s hard not to stare at his muscles. “Where’s Will?” He looks around my shoulder, and Cheesus. I have no idea what I’m going to say. “You’re on a date, right?”
You had all this time to think and you were too busy staring at his muscles. Good going, Georgie.
“I am!” Think, think, think. “You know, I really wanted to come buy this thing that we saw last time we were here, and he needed to go get something so we split up to get it done faster. I should go find him,” I say.
I start to walk away and Beau says, “Where is it?”
“Where’s what?”
“The thing you wanted to buy?” I know that look in his eye too well. He’s fishing. Challenging my story. Not that I blame him, because it’s about as convincing as a cow dressed up like a chicken.
“I was about to go in there and look.”
“Oh, because it seems like you were coming back outside.”
I make a noise through my teeth. I have no idea what I’m doing right now. “I went the wrong way. It’s on the other side, and it’s easier to walk around than through. All the people,” I say.
I start to walk and he follows me. Step for step. I wish I had a chainsaw, or a fluffy puppy to trip him with.
“I’ll come with you, if that’s cool. Keep you company.”
It’s not really a question, and I don’t want to act more suspicious than I already am, so I just smile. “Definitely, come on.”
We go around and back inside through the other entrance. I almost wish I had a better lie so I could’ve bought the cute scarf. We pass a few vendors and I look at their tables as discreetly as possible. I need to act like I at least know what I’m looking for. Ahead on the right, there’s a jewelry vendor, so that seems as safe as any. I go over and look at the necklaces. There’s a cute rose one on a bronze chain, so I point to that. “This one, please, sir.”
Beau watches the whole exchange and doesn’t really say anything. If you’re going to stalk someone at least be interesting about it. While I pay I text Will as fast as I can. !!!!
“All done,” I say to Beau, holding up my little paper bag. I’m out thirty bucks now, and I seem to be watching a bad movie, one that happens to be my life, and yelling at the stupid people in it, but they don’t listen.
“It’s pretty,” he says. I nod in agreement as we make our way to the exit. “Where’s Will again?”
Shoot.
Think, Georgia Ann, think.
“He went to buy new pants.”
“New pants.” Beau says it like he doesn’t believe me, and I wouldn’t, either. Who leaves a date to buy pants?
“Yeah. Let me call him,” I say, and pull out my phone under Beau’s scrutinizing gaze. It goes to voicemail after a few rings, but I don’t want to sound off to Beau so I put on my happy voice. “Hey, it’s me. I’m all done. I don’t want to wait here, so meet me at the waterfront as soon as you can finish up.” He better be having the best date ever.
“I’ll head over there with you, if you want.” Beau says.
“To the waterfront?”
He shrugs. “I was just going to go home, but I might as well as hang out with you until Will shows up.”
“Sure,” I say. It’s not that I mind being with Beau. I don’t. I actually like spending time with him. It’s easy and natural, like he never left at all, but it’s only a matter of time before he catches on to the lie.
We head left toward the waterfront and walk on in silence, the sounds of the city buzzing in my ears. It’s a nice distraction for how close Beau is walking. I never thought it was actually possible to literally feel electricity around someone else, but I have that with Beau. Since that very first time he kissed me at the End of the Year Party until right now, even not touching. It’s frustrating that we can’t act on it. I almost wish I could tell him about Will and me, so that way we could figure it out, but he’s only here for the summer—and Will means more to me than another summer fling with Beau Montgomery.
“So,” he says, breaking our silence. “This is the longest you have ever not talked.”
I smile. “Are you suggesting I talk too much?”
“No. It’s more that you always have something to say.” I cross my arms. Beau tosses his hands up in defense. “It’s not a bad thing. It’s a Georgia Ann thing. You always speak your mind. You tell the truth whether or not someone wants to hear it, and do your own thing. I’ve always admired that about you. Since we were kids you didn’t take shit from anyone.”
“Don’t admire me.”
He laughs. “Have you met you? It’s hard not to.”
I know I’m blushing but I can’t help it around him. He makes me feel too much. “What about you? Everyone adores you and we all know you’d do anything for anyone.”
�
�That’s a problem sometimes.”
“How so?”
Beau stops walking and stares at me. Our eyes are trapped in this vortex gaze and even if I wanted to look away from him, even though I should, I can’t. I’m stuck here, staring at him, resisting the pull I feel toward him. Cheesus, I wish this was easier. At least before I had a reason to be mad, but now I know I’m just picking at old scabs. He apologized, and I’m trying to forgive him. I can’t do that and keep making it hurt again. It’s been my default reaction to all things Beau Montgomery for a while now. It’s a hard habit to break.
Finally he looks away.
“Come on,” he says, pointing toward the pier and a glorious ice cream truck. “My treat.”
He gets mint chocolate chip; I order chocolate peanut butter and coconut. We’re sitting on a concrete bench next to the water. Through the whole line and the half a scoop I’ve eaten, I’ve felt normal. It’s been a while since I’ve had that. My life is usually spent living for someone else.
“Earlier,” I start, “you were saying that was the problem. What did you mean by that?”
He’s so quiet that I half expect him not to answer me. “I mean that people expect you to do the right thing, and I would do anything for Ma, for sure. It just means I don’t always have what I want.” He takes another bite of ice cream and sighs. “I hate Atlanta.”
Wow. That’s a surprise. “I thought you were doing really well there.”
“Going there was a blur. Ma was hurt; Dad was a jerk. It happened to me, I didn’t decide it.” He pauses. “I’ve never really been happy there. I have basketball, but that’s it. Every girl I date, well, it doesn’t work out.”
I nod. “Why?”
“Honesty is impossible to find.”
I force myself to swallow down the ice cream. It has suddenly lost all of its flavor and appeal. “What?”
“This girl I was seeing before, she just lied about everything. She pretended to be someone she wasn’t.”
He had a girlfriend. What did she look like? How did they meet? I shouldn’t even care, since they broke up, but Atlanta Beau is an alternate reality.
He clears his throat. “We were together all of sophomore year, and she was really cool. She worked hard to make herself look one way, and then I found out all of it was a lie.”
“I’m sorry.”
He shrugs like it’s nothing, but I can tell it’s not. How can it be? It was important to him and then she lied and hurt him. Like I’m doing.
“Relationships aren’t worth it really,” he says. “None of them are made to last forever; no one is ever honest. Ma wasn’t; Dad wasn’t; she wasn’t. We all just lie to each other and hide the truth.”
I shake my head. Beau can’t think that’s really true, can he? People do lie, sure, but it’s not always to hurt someone. I’m keeping this secret, pretending to be with Will, and none of that is meant to be malicious. “Maybe it’s to protect you or someone else. The truth isn’t always black and white.”
“But why is it someone else’s decision to determine?”
I’m quiet, mostly because I don’t know the answer. Aren’t we doing that to him, in a way? Haven’t I done it to Will, too, by not telling him about that summer?
Beau keeps talking. “If you care about someone, you treat them better than that. You let them into your life; you trust them. Honesty is about respect.”
I nod slowly, thinking about all the things I’m not telling Beau, about Will, about both of them. “I think sometimes people may not know how to do that.”
I look out over the water. I know that’s how it is with me. There’s no easy way sometimes.
“Ma wants to marry her boyfriend,” Beau says, and I look at him. He’s holding his ice cream but not eating it. He’s not even looking at me. “How do I give her my encouragement? I don’t want her to get hurt when it doesn’t last.”
“You don’t know what will last unless you give it a chance,” I say. He glances back at me, and his eyes darken. I wonder what else he’s thinking. “You just never know. Impossible things can happen.”
The sound of a guitar drifts through the air, a Beach Boys song, and Beau gives me one of those charming Montgomery smiles. “We learned to shag to this song in sixth grade PE.”
I remember that like it was yesterday. “Good times, sixth grade PE.”
“That’s when I realized I had a crush on you.”
I laugh. “You mean when you were stepping on my toes?”
“Yes, and the way you continuously tried to lead.”
“Someone had to,” I say.
He looks at me and then touches my cheek. “Ice cream,” he says.
Beau’s hand is on my cheek, and all I feel is this numbness from the past and these tingles from the present, from his skin on mine. It’s too much to feel at once. I want to kiss him. I want to kiss him more than anything, but I won’t let myself do that.
There’s an echo in my head, telling me that I’m everything he hates. A liar. If I kiss him, then I’m technically a cheater, too.
Beau drops his hand and stands in front of me. “I’m probably rusty, but take a chance?” He stretches out his hand, the same one he ran across my cheek.
I look at his hand. “I thought you didn’t dance.”
“I believe I owe you one,” he says, suddenly seeming a little shy.
My heart is yelling at me to take his hand, to go with him over there. His eyes are fiercely on mine; he’s waiting, nervousness on his face. I recognize the look from my own past.
“Georgie!” We both turn to see Will. “There you are.”
I’m on a date; I’d almost forgotten about that.
“What have you been up to?”
“Just talking,” I say, as Beau’s hand falls to the wayside. For a second, it almost felt like he’d forgotten I was with Will, too. We were both wrapped up in this moment, and the rest didn’t matter, but it does. Oh, it does.
I stand and Will moves to be beside me. “Well, I’m sorry it took so long. My phone died, so I didn’t get your message until I could charge it up.”
“Did you get your pants?” Beau asks.
Will has a confused look on his face, and I jump in before he says something to blow this entire night. “I told Beau you were trying to find a new pair while I went and picked up that necklace I saw last time we were here.”
He nods slowly. “Yeah. Yeah, I got them.”
“Where’s the bag?” Beau asks, raising an eyebrow.
Will has this really innocent look on his face. “In the truck. I had to charge my phone and I left it there. I’m sorry, Georgie. I didn’t mean to abandon you.”
I smile. “It’s all good.”
He holds out his hand to me. I glance at Beau again, who’s looking between us, and Will wraps an arm around my waist.
“Thanks for keeping me company,” I say to Beau.
“Anytime,” he says, and then he looks away. It has me thinking now that maybe this, Will and me, is something he’ll never get over. If he finds out we aren’t really together, that I hurt him on purpose, any chance we have will be gone forever.
“See you at home,” Will adds. We walk away and it takes everything inside of me not to look back at him.
We’re halfway to an arcade that Will loves when he stops walking and turns to me. “Is something going on between you and Beau?”
“What?” I say, but my heart flutters or some other girly thing at his name. I’m in trouble. I know I’m in trouble but I can’t stop it. “Why would you ask that?”
“It seems like I interrupted something.”
I think back to the moment, to Beau’s hand on my cheek and the fire in my gut. Him asking me to dance, all the stuff we talked about. He was opening up to me.
“Like I said, we were only talking about life.”
Will mmhmms.
“We had ice cream, too. And he’d asked me to dance but we didn’t.”
Will turns up his nose. “Why would
he do that? Do you think he likes you?”
“No,” I say, maybe a little too quickly. “I don’t think that. He knows I’m with you.”
“But you’re not. Not really.”
Why is he pointing this out?
I laugh, but my heart is racing. “How was your date?”
He says my name so I have to look at him. “You’re changing the subject.”
“Because you’re making a problem where there isn’t one. I promise there is nothing going on between Beau and me.”
I hate liars. I hear Beau saying it over and over, and that “L” is becoming my scarlet letter.
Will opens the door to the arcade for me. “Speaking of problems, I was thinking about it. I don’t want to tell Beau yet.”
Liar. “Okay,” I say. “I don’t want to destroy your chance at something real.”
Will’s nose crinkles up. “A few hours ago you were all for having another ally.” I can hear the confusion in his voice.
“Better to have an ally who’s going to stay, right? He’s only temporary. He’s gone in a month.”
I don’t want to coerce Will into telling him just for me, which is what I’m doing. And if Beau knows we’re pretending, he’s going to hate us. He hates liars after his dad; he doesn’t trust people anyway. I don’t want to be the one who proves him right.
Will shrugs. “Okay.”
I let out a sigh of relief. “Come on; let me go kick your butt in Skeeball.”
“You wish,” Will says.
And I do. I wish none of this had happened; that way, I wouldn’t be deceiving both of my friends right now.
Chapter Twelve
Beau
Dad is in the kitchen when I get home after my morning run. We passed each other on a street today. We’ve basically been running in circles around each other all summer—literally. Dad slides me a glass of water across the counter. I nod a thanks at him.
“You’re going camping today?” Dad asks.
The Sweetheart Sham Page 12
