by Tania Crosse
‘We’ll go and see the vicar tomorrow,’ Ralph announced breathlessly. ‘And I suppose I should ask Mr W’s permission. That’s what you used to do when you were in service, or is that too old-fashioned?’
‘Remember I’m not actually in service,’ Meg reminded him, ‘so you don’t need to ask anyone.’
‘Well, in that case, I might just ravish you on the spot and have done with it!’
He went to pull her to him, but Meg squealed with laughter and slipped away, running up the rough grass to the tended lawn. Ralph nearly caught her, but she dodged around one of the urns by the steps before escaping again. He snatched her arm as they rounded the corner of the house, the dogs barking furiously at this great game. She yielded to him, then, out of breath, laughing, euphoria overtaking her at last as he crushed her in his strong embrace, his lips coming down, soft and sweet, on hers.
*
‘Oh, that’s tremendous news!’
They had told Ralph’s parents first thing on Boxing Day morning. As expected, Gabriel and Mary had been delighted. Mary had mysteriously disappeared, returning a few minutes later with a tiny box that she held out to them.
‘This was your granny’s,’ she said wistfully. ‘I don’t know if you remember it, Ralph. You were only a small boy at the time. But when she was dying, she said maybe, one day when you’d found the girl of your dreams, you might like to give it to her. Now, you might not like it, and if you don’t, I’ll fully understand. But if you’d like it for Meg, it’s yours.’
Meg caught Ralph’s gaze. He was clearly as taken aback as she was.
‘Go on, open it,’ Mary urged. ‘We couldn’t have been happier with your choice of wife, and I’m sure my mum would’ve been, too.’
Meg held her breath as Ralph opened the little box, and then snatched in a little gasp. The ring held a tiny, single diamond in a silver setting. It might not quite match up to something Mrs C might have worn, but to Meg it was perfect and more beautiful than anything she could ever have dreamt of.
Mary saw the awe on both their faces. ‘Slip it on and see if it fits.’
Meg could feel Ralph’s hand trembling as he took the ring and eased it onto her finger. A shiver tingled through her. Mum, Dad, I’m engaged to the most wonderful man.
‘Go on, kiss her, then. Ho, ho, ho!’ Gabriel laughed. And Ralph obliged.
Ten minutes later, Ralph and Meg had asked to have a word with Mr W and Mrs C after breakfast. They knew that Mr W would be going back up to the factory that evening ready for the early shift the following morning, so they wanted to make the announcement while he was still there.
Clarrie jumped up out of her chair with pure joy swirling in her breast. It was what she had hoped for. Prayed for. There was nothing she could do to secure their future. To make sure Ralph was still alive at the end of the war, whenever that might be. But she’d known Ralph man and boy, and she felt she knew Meg well enough to know that the two were crazy about each other, despite their rocky introduction. And Clarrie was determined to make sure that whatever time they had together was going to be just perfect.
She simply couldn’t contain her excitement. Her Meg getting married. And to Ralph, who was such a good young man. Throwing propriety to the wind, she stepped forward to hug Meg tightly, relishing those few seconds, holding her, loving her as if she were her own flesh and blood. She even gave Ralph a quick hug, since her happiness for them both knew no bounds.
‘Well, congratulations!’
Wig was pumping Ralph’s hand, and when he turned to Meg, he also bent to brush a kiss against her cheek. The girl’s face was radiant, and he was thrilled for her. She deserved such happiness, and it occurred to him in that moment how cherished she had become to him, too.
‘Thank you, Mr W,’ she beamed back. ‘And we want to get married as soon as possible. Before Ralph gets called up.’ A shadow dimmed her expression, but in a trice, she’d driven it aside. ‘And so I was wondering if you’d be kind enough to give me away.’
She watched as Mr W looked a trifle taken aback. But then he replied with a broad grin. ‘Nothing would give me greater pleasure. I should be honoured. Thank you for asking me.’ Honoured? No, it was more than that. He was so proud that she wanted him to perform this act that should have been her father’s role. As if she was almost looking upon him as a second father. And the warmth that spread up inside him took him by joyous surprise.
‘Oh, this is so exciting!’ Clarrie broke out afresh. ‘Oh, Nana May!’ she cried as the old lady came into the room. ‘We’ve just had some wonderful news! Ralph and Meg… Oh, but I should let them tell you themselves.’
A few seconds later, there followed another round of congratulations, with Nana May grinning from ear to ear, her face creasing into deep lines. As for Meg, she was smiling so much that her facial muscles were beginning to ache.
‘Have you told anyone else yet?’ Nana May asked when everyone had caught their breath.
‘Just Mum and Dad,’ Ralph answered.
‘Well, I’m sure they’re as thrilled as we are,’ Clarrie declared. ‘Now I expect you want to go and tell everyone else. So, off you go. Oh, there’s going to be such a lot to think about! A wedding in the… house!’ She’d nearly said family, but stopped herself at the last moment. To cover up, she ushered them out of the door and then turned back to Wig and Nana May, her face on fire with elation. This must be one of the happiest days of her life. For it also meant that Meg, her Meg, was likely to stay at Robin Hill House for ever!
Ten
1940
‘Well, a Happy New Year to you both!’ Clarrie beamed, inviting the happy couple into her sitting room on Monday 1st January. ‘And a very exciting one it’ll be for you two, too! Now do sit down,’ she said, waving her hand towards the settee. ‘Well, we’ve been thinking,’ she went on once they were settled. ‘Wig’s gone back to work, of course, but we discussed it over the weekend. Now that awful Mrs Durr has gone back to London, you can have the chauffeur’s cottage when you’re married. Not that I wish the woman and her children any harm, of course, but they made every effort not to fit in. I phoned Mrs Jenkins this morning and fortunately she hasn’t had any more requests to accommodate evacuee families. It seems that with no bombs falling, many are returning to London rather than the other way round. So, what do you think?’
Meg felt a little tightening in her chest and her heart began to race. Oh. It was so kind of Mrs C, but… She glanced sideways at Ralph, her eyes widening. He’d understand, wouldn’t he?
‘That’s most generous, Mrs C,’ he said cautiously, and Meg felt so grateful to him for speaking for her. ‘But we rather thought that, with Bob gone, Meg could just share my room in the attic. We don’t want to make any fuss. And, well…’
The smile on Clarrie’s face changed into one of sympathy. ‘Yes, I do understand. It was where that abominable Nathaniel Green lived. But it was over three years ago now, and it is a pretty little cottage. We’d give you complete carte blanche to redecorate it exactly as you wish, and while such things are available, Wig and I will buy you a brand new bed as part of our wedding present. We couldn’t expect you to sleep in the same one that creature did. Anyway, think about it. The cottage is there and it’s not being used for anything else.’
Meg’s pulse had calmed down and now she found her voice again. ‘That really is terribly good of you, Mrs C, and I hope you don’t think me ungrateful, but I’m really not sure.’
‘Well, as I say, you think about it. And you can change your mind at any time. It’s just standing there empty. But now I need to speak to you about something privately, Meg. Oh, don’t worry. It’s just that traditionally it’s something the groom shouldn’t know about. And we’ve only got five weeks, so I understand.’
Mrs C beamed at them, and Ralph gave that little laugh Meg loved so much. ‘Ah, ha, I know when I’m not wanted!’ he joked, and then left the room, throwing a wink at his fiancée as he went.
As soon as he’d clos
ed the door, Clarrie took Meg’s hands in hers. ‘Oh, I’m so happy for you, my dear! Now, do tell me what plans you have. I understand Jane and our three young guests are going to be your bridesmaids?’
‘Yes. You know Jane and I have been particularly close, and we went through so much together. But I thought it would be nice to have the girls as well.’
‘Well, I think that’s an excellent choice. And have you thought about outfits? And what about a dress for yourself?’
Meg bunched her lips thoughtfully. ‘Well, I was just going to run something up on the sewing machine. Something sensible that could be used afterwards. I’d planned on going into Tunbridge Wells to get some material on Wednesday. Needs to be something warm at this time of year, of course.’
‘Well, would you allow me to pay my dressmaker to do the bridesmaids’ dresses? I’m sure she could do with the business, and you never know how things might go for her as the war progresses. And you could choose whatever you wanted.’
‘Oh.’ Meg was taken aback. ‘I can’t accept—’
‘Of course you can!’ The smile that lit Clarrie’s face shone like the sun. ‘Oh, my dear Meg, you can’t know what joy this is to me. Never having a child of my own to see married, this is the next best thing. And, then, for yourself… Of course, you might not like the idea, or might not like the actual dress, but you would be more than welcome to borrow mine. It might need taking in at the waist a little, but we’re of similar height.’
Meg blinked at her. So much to take in at one go. But then if she and Ralph wanted to be married quickly, they would need to get on with things. She had to admit that she had wondered quite where she’d find time to make all the outfits. And she’d seen Mrs C’s wedding dress in a photo on the sideboard, and it was beautiful.
‘Oh, Mrs C, this really is kind of you.’
‘That settles it, then.’ Mrs C’s face split in a grin. ‘I’ll telephone my dressmaker and make an appointment for us all to go and see her on Wednesday. We can make a day of it. And if you’d like to have a look at my dress and try it on, and then you can decide whether or not you’d like it. And there’s no time like the present. So, shall we?’
Meg felt as if she’d been swept up in a whirlwind as Mrs C linked her arm through hers and walked her along the corridor and up the main stairs. Meg had been in the master bedroom often enough, especially when she’d first come to Robin Hill House and Nana May had been training her up as a lady’s maid. The time for such luxuries had long since passed, but Meg was still trusted to enter the room on an errand. She’d never rooted about in the wardrobes and cupboards, mind, and so was surprised when Mrs C asked her to help lift down a large box from the top shelf of one of the wardrobes. Meg held her breath as they put it on the bed and Mrs C opened it with a reverence on her face.
‘Now, I won’t be offended if you say no,’ Mrs C was smiling as she unfolded some sheets of tissue paper and then lifted the dress out by its shoulders. ‘There. What do you think?’ she asked, shaking it out.
Meg’s hands went involuntarily over her mouth. The garment was breathtaking, and hadn’t faded in all the years it had been stored. It was perhaps a little old-fashioned now, high-necked and pinched in at the waist, with a slight bustle and a train that would sweep the floor. But that in itself was its charm.
‘Oh, Mrs C,’ she breathed.
‘Well, you can’t really tell without seeing it on. Pop into the dressing room. It buttons down the back, though, so I’ll have to do those for you.’
‘Oh, Mrs C, are you sure?’
‘Of course! It would be nice if such a thing got worn twice in its life!’
Meg carried the gown with the utmost care into the dressing room. Even if she decided against it, what a pleasure it would be to try on such a beautiful thing. But as soon as she slipped her arms into it, she knew. It was utterly transforming. She’d never imagined she’d ever wear anything so elegant and expensive in her life!
She went back into the bedroom feeling like a queen.
‘Oh, you look perfect!’ Mrs C cried. ‘But do you like it? Let me do it up so you can see properly.’
Meg watched in the mirror as Mrs C fastened the little pearl buttons at the back for her and the bodice tightened over her slender form, fitting her like a glove. Then Mrs C leant over her shoulder and together they studied her reflection. She saw the anticipation on Mrs C’s face, and her own broke into a broad grin.
‘Does that mean yes?’ Mrs C asked.
‘It most certainly does. I can’t thank you enough!’ Meg turned, and without a thought, laced her arms round Mrs C’s neck in a hug. She knew she shouldn’t have, but when she pulled back, Mrs C was smiling delightedly.
‘No, it really is my pleasure,’ the good lady beamed. ‘And you know the old saying, something old, something new and so on. Well, this can be the something old and the something borrowed. And my, it doesn’t need taking in at all. I must have been slimmer than I thought back then. Now, you stay there, and I’ll see if I can find the veil. And I’m sure I had a white fur cape I used to wear when we went to society do’s when we lived in London. Can’t have our beautiful bride catching cold.’
Before Meg could stop her, Clarrie turned away and busied herself rummaging through all the cupboards. Her heart was as light as a butterfly’s. She couldn’t get any closer to this, her second daughter, than this, could she? Lending Meg her wedding dress? Fate had been so cruel to both of them, but it had also thrown them together to help each other heal, and Clarrie would treasure this moment of pure joy for ever.
*
Ralph turned the key in the lock and, pushing the door open, stood back so that Meg could enter the cottage first. She went in hesitantly. She’d been in there before, of course, particularly when trying to teach Mrs Durr how to use the range. But it was a different matter when she was deciding if she could live in it or not. She stepped over the threshold, and glanced back at Ralph for reassurance as he followed her inside.
As Mrs C had said, it was a delightful little building, similar to the one next door where Ralph’s parents lived, but not exactly the same. Unlike Gabriel and Mary’s cottage, this one had no hallway, but opened immediately into a front room with a cast-iron fireplace and tiled surround, and the kitchen was at the back with its infamous range. There was even a tiny bathroom leading off from the kitchen, plumbed in and with the hot water supplied by a back boiler in the range.
‘I really don’t know what that Mrs Durr had to complain about,’ Ralph stated, shaking his head. ‘She probably had an outside lav and a tin bath in London. And there’s electric light,’ he added, turning a switch on and off.
Meg’s eyes scanned the rooms, sucking in her lips as she took in every detail. Under other circumstances, she would have loved the place. But as she climbed the stairs, her pulse accelerated. She opened the door to the back room first, where the two little beds for Mrs Durr’s children were covered with dust sheets. And then, girding up her courage, she pushed the door to the front bedroom. But she had to take a hold on herself to step inside.
It was a lovely room with another pretty fireplace and a sloping roof. But there was the bed where that monster had slept… Meg quickly paced across the room to the leaded window and pretended to gaze across the orchard and up to the big house in an effort to conceal the tears that had suddenly pooled in her eyes. But Ralph knew her too well, and came up behind to wrap his arms about her.
‘It was a long time ago now,’ he murmured into her hair. ‘And that devil and Esme Carter are both behind bars where they belong. But if you let them stop you from having this lovely little cottage as a home, then, don’t you see? They’ve won. You’re stronger than that, Meg. Much stronger. And us, you and me, we’re far more important. Being together, wherever we can for as long as we can, that’s all that counts.’
Meg had found herself drawing on every word that Ralph was uttering. It was hard. But, yes, he was right. She shouldn’t let the past spoil whatever time they
might have together. Slowly, she turned round in his arms and lifted her face to receive his kiss. When they finally parted, the moisture in her eyes was draining away.
The blackout blind was propped next to the window, and she glanced down at it.
‘I could make some green gingham curtains for these windows,’ she said quietly, ‘and a matching bedspread. And maybe red ones for downstairs.’
‘We could paint these walls a pale green, too,’ Ralph chipped in. ‘You know Mrs C said we could redecorate it if we wanted. I’m not sure about red walls downstairs, though.’
‘No,’ Meg answered, ready to chuckle now. ‘Maybe cream or a light grey.’
‘And we’d have to hang some of your own pictures on the walls. Make it really homely.’
As she gazed at this good man she loved so much, Meg’s excitement was growing. Their own little home. Better than just an attic room in the male servants’ quarters. Their own proper space to live as man and wife.
‘Shall we… shall we tell Mrs C yes, then?’ she asked, almost afraid of her own words.
‘I think so, yes,’ Ralph replied, his tone solemn and yet buoyant at the same time. ‘Mind you, I’d live in a cave as long as it was with you.’
‘A cave, Mr Hillier? Well, I’m not so sure about that!’ she teased. ‘Compared to a cave, I think this will do very nicely indeed, thank you very much!’
*
‘And how are we supposed ter make you two a proper wedding cake with this rationing lark starting today? And having ter register wiv just one grocer for the duration?’ Penny grumbled a week later. ‘A mouthful of bacon, four ounces of butter and twelve of sugar a week. How’s a body supposed to survived on that?’
Meg had to stifle a giggle as she passed through the kitchen. There was only one grocer in the village anyway, and Meg was sure she never consumed anything like that amount of sugar, at least! Everyone adored Penny, but losing a bit of weight might not be a bad idea for her, and her chubby offspring. So rationing might have its benefits for some people. And Meg chuckled at the way the woman had said ‘we’, when it was Ada who’d be baking the cake.
