by C. J. Thomas
“It doesn’t matter.” I took her hands and squeezed. “I know the money’s gone.”
She flashed a cold smile that stopped my heart. It was clear what she was thinking. She had it written all over her face. She thought that this was all my fault.
Now I really wanted to know what Ted told her in the hallway.
“It was you who said I was never good enough.” She tilted her head to the side and trailed a finger down the middle of my chest. “Told me to purchase fancier clothes.” She hooked her thumbs on the inside of my belt. “Wanted my pussy shaved.” Her lips swelled when she said the word ‘pussy’ and it was the sexiest look ever. I wanted nothing more than to have those babies wrapped around my heavy cock. “And Kendra thought it was a good idea to pay down my debt.” She shook her head and huffed.
My hands slid down her sides and came to rest on the globes of her ass. “I went to see her.”
“And?” She didn’t look the least bit surprised.
“You can’t do it.” I hitched her up to the tips of her toes until her mound was touching my hardness.
“I don’t know . . .” She twirled the hairs on the back of my neck. “Escorting might be fun.”
“I’ll pay your debt,” I said without any hesitation. “I have the money.”
Her heels fell back to the floor. “I can’t let you do that.”
“I’m not asking for permission.”
“I don’t know, Nash.” She broke free and walked slowly to the opposite wall. “If it weren’t for either one of you, I wouldn’t be in the shithole that I am.” She turned to meet my gaze.
I rolled my neck and worked my fingers through my hair.
It pained me to know just how right she was. I’d be the first to take the blame.
And would take the fall, too, if I had to.
Anything to save her from having to step inside the accepting embrace of another man.
This was all my fault.
I couldn’t get to the money before her world turned upside down.
And now I was the only one she could rightfully blame.
74
Alex
THERE WAS a storm brewing inside his eyes.
He strode across the room and had me wrapped inside his arms before I realized what was happening.
“I’m not asking.” His thick muscles constricted around me. “I’m telling you.”
My eyes danced across his face. “I can’t do it,” I whispered.
His fingers dug deeper into my soft flesh.
“We will end this today,” he growled.
My breath labored as I started to sweat. “I want to, Nash. Trust me, I really do.”
“Then why?” He tilted his head back but kept his unwavering gaze locked on mine. “I won’t lose you.” His voice was a low rumble that prickled my scalp.
I licked my lips and felt the blood rushing fast through my veins. I wanted to let him help me. I really did. But it wasn’t right. I couldn’t drag him down with me. Despite what I meant to him, I refused to take a handout—especially since I’d done nothing to deserve it.
My gaze danced across his delicious features.
Lord knew I didn’t deserve this man.
He was too good.
Everything about him.
And not just because he could sex me up and leave me in a hot ball of despair, either. That was his talent, yes, but there was more to it than just that.
Call me weak.
Say I’m pathetic.
I wouldn’t allow myself to listen to any of the criticism I knew others were directing my way when my back was turned. I knew they were. I could feel it. And it wasn’t just Val, either.
Regardless of how weak-willed I may have seemed, there was no way I’d let him take a hit for my mistake.
Never.
That wasn’t the woman I was. I would never throw anyone in front of that bus if they weren’t deserving of getting hit. Despite Nash getting me into the shithole my life had become, I had to take responsibility for my own decisions, too.
“I can’t do it, Nash.”
“It’s just money,” he assured me.
Sure, to him, it was just a bunch of numbers. But for me it was more than that. It was my freedom teetering on the edge, my whole independence, everything I’d worked for.
And with Ted’s warning still ringing in my ears—even if I had my doubts whether it was true or not—the last thing I needed was to transfer my debt from Mr. Lopez over to Nash.
Because that was exactly what I’d be doing if I took his money. Then he’d really own me.
“No, it’s not that.” My voice cracked under the weight and I hated how pitiful it made me sound.
He tilted his head to the side and gave me a questioning look.
“You’ve already given me so much.” I laid a hand against my breastbone, knowing these words would calm the restlessness I saw inside his gorgeous eyes.
His gaze scurried over my body as if evaluating my sanity. “And I have so much more to give.”
I shook my head and tucked a bang behind my ear. “You’re not listening.”
“I’m listening.”
“It’s not your love for me that’s in question.” My belly knotted as silence filled the void between us. “Nash.” I looked up at him from beneath my brow. “I can’t give myself completely to this internship.” My eyes suddenly felt heavier.
There was a sparkle of sympathy glittering in his eye that turned my gut over.
“Same goes with your movie.” My throat tightened over the last word. “My head’s not in it anymore.”
“What are you saying, Alex?” He inched closer and squeezed me safely against his heart.
I liked how I fit against him so easily. I could feel his heart beating fiercely against his ribcage despite his calm face. And I liked that about him, too.
When I swallowed, my throat was dry, like sandpaper. “I’m not sure I can be with you.” My lips tightened—immediately regretting my words.
I wanted to be with Nash. I really did. But Ted was right. Ever since I let Nash into my life, it turned sour. And because of that, I couldn’t help but think just how different my life would be today if I never went out that night with Kendra.
What it would be like if I accepted his offer—a huge sum of money that I’d never be able to repay? What would he want from me in return? That was what made me dig my heels in and hold my ground.
Nash’s fingers tightened their hold on me and sent waves of electricity straight to my heart.
He wasn’t about to let me go.
And I loved him for that.
But I was afraid that if I let him take me now, he’d never allow me to be the independent woman I knew I needed to be.
“What are you saying?” He smoothed his hand up my arm and over my shoulder before twisting a lock of my hair between his fingers. “Did I do something wrong?”
My knees gave out, and when they did, I slumped further down, clawing his chest to keep from falling to the floor, desperately needing to be held. “I’m tired,” I whispered.
I couldn’t do this anymore.
None of it.
The internship, my classes, or even be happy with my friends.
My head was foggy and my muscles weak from the stress building up inside—the weight of the world on my shoulders. The pressure was pounding against the walls and ready to explode. I didn’t know when it would happen, but knew that when it did, the eruption would be catastrophic.
“Let me take you home.” He caught me at the elbow and pulled me up into his solid chest. “You should rest.”
“I need to stay here.” I shook my head and sank back down. “The media is going to get wind of this, of us. Then what?”
He bent over, snaked his arm behind my knees, and picked me up. “I have friends in high places. That’s not something to worry about.”
I stared up at him with sad eyes. He was amazing. The way he refused to let me go even when I told him he sh
ould leave. “But what if they do? Then what?”
He tipped his head back without answering and walked me to the other side of the room.
I knew what he was thinking and I would do anything to take back what I’d said. That was fear talking. Nash wouldn’t use his power and influence against me, would he?
What I needed was him.
Not his money.
And the thought of him gone—out of my life—had me lying awake at night wondering what tomorrow would look like, alone.
Nash was too bullheaded to allow that to happen. He’d never let me go without a fight. He’d picked me and made me his Sub for a reason. Now, if only I knew what those reasons were—
“Alex, baby.” His hand brushed my neck until his fingers curled around the nape. “We can get through this together.”
I had to make my moves smart.
There was zero room for error, and the fear I held, knowing that the media could catch wind of this at any moment, was real. That was what caused the earthquake that shook my core. How in the world would I pick my life up after something like that? That, combined with knowing that I might have to leave him in order to save us, was terrifying.
My head was dizzy.
Nash didn’t need the added distraction, either. He had enough going on in his life—including concentrating on this major motion picture he’d been working on.
“It’s real, Nash. They already started the other day. We saw them.” He and I both knew that the media was hunting; looking for a worthy story they could pimp out to the world.
“They won’t.” His eyes hooded over and dilated as he laid me down on the couch. “Would you please stop worrying?”
I nodded. “Don’t leave me, Nash.”
“I won’t.” He smoothed his hand down my thigh and kissed me. “I’ll never leave you.”
I knew he meant it. I just wished that I could promise him the same.
But I knew better—our future together was no longer up to us.
75
Nash
LOSING HER WOULD DEVASTATE ME.
I wasn’t sure I could live through that kind of drought. No fucking way.
I brushed her hair away from her face and stared into her amazing, Caribbean green eyes, remembering the first time they swept me away.
When it came to women, she was the kind worth fighting for. I’d do whatever it took to make sure we’d stay together. We could do this, get through it and walk away with only bumps and bruises.
But with her refusal to take my money, there was no way it was going to be the clean getaway I’d hoped for.
My jaw clenched.
The way she was looking at me now, I knew there was more going on inside her head than what she was saying.
She hooked her hand over my shoulder and held on to me.
That’s right. You need me. Don’t you forget that.
On the surface it was silly-simple. She would accept my offer, take my money, pay off Blake Stone’s associates—and all the people who were after her—and end this today.
That was all that needed to be done.
We could walk away from this and forget it ever even happened. No one would get hurt, and I could actually find peace among this chaos that poisoned my mind.
But Alex refused.
She was dead-set on making this her problem, and hers alone. That was something I liked about her—her strength and determination—but if she got hurt, I knew I couldn’t live with myself knowing that this all could have been prevented.
There was a sexy glimmer in her eye as she clawed her way up my chest. I squeezed and helped her along, pulling her closer to me. She brushed her lips against mine and lit a firestorm of electricity that shot between us.
My cock twitched to life—a steeled rod buried inside my pants that begged to be free. This woman could drive me to hell and back and I’d still do anything to make sure she remained all mine.
I nipped at her lips and she nibbled back.
My hands roamed her delicious and supple body as she pressed her chest into mine. I could feel her razor sharp nipples breaking through her blouse and slicing my hot skin.
A thick ball of heat spun at the base of my spine as my addiction for her only grew more intense.
My fingers combed through her hair just before I claimed her lips as my own.
A whimper escaped her mouth as she angled her head and demanded entrance. Her tongue slid over my lips and I thrusted my tongue over hers—soft and gentle, but enough to steal a taste.
She pulled back and bit her bottom lip.
I was painfully hard as I watched her cheeks flush a sexy rose-petal pink. We stared into each other’s eyes looking for answers to the tough questions we both held close to our hearts. There was no denying that these were difficult times and that the road ahead looked bleak.
I reached out and closed my fingers around her wrist.
This woman was starting to really mean something to me, and the thought of losing her had my pulse racing wildly out of control.
I meant what I said.
I’d never leave her.
And she’d better not leave me.
My head dove back down, and when she opened for me, I coiled my tongue over hers. She sucked in a breath and increased the passion of our kiss with the way she wrapped her arms around me.
I dipped deeper inside and smoothed my velvety muscle against hers.
She sucked me in, clawed at me, and began to feverishly remove my clothes.
“That’s it, baby. Take what you want.” I ravished her with my dominance and forced her onto her back.
Her fingers worked fast to undo buttons, belts, and zippers. I lifted my shirt over my head and slid her shorts off. Before I knew it, she was down to only her panties.
“You’re mine,” I growled, sliding her panties over her hips, down her legs, and past her ankles until she was free. I tossed them to the floor and marveled at her amazing and beautifully bare pussy. It stared me down and tormented me with its grace. I dropped my pants and stepped out of my briefs.
Alex watched with hooded, drunk eyes as I took my throbbing shaft inside the palm of my hand.
I could feel her uncertainty.
There would be none of that.
It was important to remind her that when she was with me, there was nothing to feel anxious about.
My wrist jerked back and forth as I dropped to the floor in front of her.
She was already drenched.
Her pussy sparkled with wetness and drew me closer. I spread her knees out to the sides, licked my lips, and split her moist folds with my serpentine tongue.
Her mouth rounded and she closed her eyes upon contact.
“This pussy.” I licked again from bottom up. “It’s mine.”
Her fingers curled deep into my hair and pulled at the roots.
I flicked my tongue over her swollen nub until she mewed.
Her hips bucked against my chin and I reached up with one hand to squeeze her tit. “Your tits.” I sucked her clit between my teeth, causing her hips to thrash against my face. “They’re mine.”
I circled my tongue and plunged it deeper into her delicious abyss.
Her breath caught in her chest and she whimpered.
“Say that they’re mine, Alex.” I rolled her nipple between my fingers.
“Oh, Nash,” she moaned, lifting her feet off the ground so she could drape her knees over my shoulders.
I worked a finger inside her slickness and twisted it as my tongue lapped at her throbbing clit. “Say it, Alex. Say that they’re mine.”
Her hands clamped tighter around my skull as her hips went into a spasm. “Fuck,” she mewed.
She was close.
I could taste it and feel it.
There was nothing sweeter than having a woman on the verge of rocking through the best orgasm of her life because of me. I’d do anything to ensure she exploded into my mouth, if only to remind myself that she was worth losing everyt
hing for.
“Say it, Alex.” The taste of her nectar spread across my tongue the closer she was to bursting. “I need to hear you say it.” I flicked my tongue, light and fast, continuing to torture her with my finger.
“Oh. My. God.” She thrashed against me and burst over the edge screaming, “Yes! They’re yours. I’m yours!”
The walls shook and the corner of my mouth curled upward as I slowly moved back. Alex smiled and caught her breath. She was sweaty, heated, and winded, and I had her exactly where I wanted her.
I dropped to my knees, pumped my wrist, stroking my cock painfully hard, and flipped her over. Her ass was big and round and left me hungry for more.
God I loved that thing.
I went from kneeling to positioning myself in front of her juicy entrance. “Say you want me to fuck you.” I teased her slit with my cockhead.
“Fuck me.” She pushed back into my erection. “I’m begging you to fuck me.”
“It pleases me to hear you say that.” I smoothed my hand over the globe of her ass.
She glanced over her shoulder and lifted her tailbone a tad higher. “I liked saying it.”
I pressed the pad of my thumb on the tight muscle of her asshole. “I need you as much as you need me.” I pressed my cock tip inside her mound. “Do you understand?”
She nodded.
My hand lifted over my head. A second later it came down fast and hard on her flesh.
She yelped and bit her tongue.
“Good.” I slid in a little bit further.
She was so hot and slick and nothing in the world felt better than knowing she was this way because of me. It was all me. She needed to know just how much she meant to me and that there was nothing out there that compared to, or was as good as, what I had.
I was the best.
I gripped my hardness at the root and pulled back out. “I’m going to fuck your tight cunt hard.” I pressed my rod tip just past her lips. “You want that?”
“Yes,” she purred. “I want you.”
I slapped her other cheek and the room echoed.
“Good.” I slapped her opposite cheek until it flamed red.
Her body hummed and called me inside. I lunged to the end of her channel, stopping only when I hit her core, and held myself there as she roared through the pleasurable pain.
