On My Knees: The Complete Series Box Set

by C. J. Thomas

  She’d taken everything from me. All I wanted to do was go home and make myself a nice hot bubble bath and let my nerves settle. The glass of red wine I poured for myself allowed my mind to clear to the point that I could actually see what I’d just done with my life.

  I’d agreed to the contract.

  Signed on the line and initialed each page.

  All without any hesitation. I was now legally bound to her.

  She could do what she wanted with me until I’d earned my quarter million. Then the choice of what I wanted to do—go or stay—was mine to make.

  Once my glass was empty and the water had cooled, I stepped out and wrapped myself in a big fluffy bathrobe before pouring myself another drink and settling on the couch.

  I thought I’d have heard from Nash by now. I never did let him know I wasn’t coming to Mint after I agreed to meet. That part of my life had to be put on pause. Whether I wanted to or not.

  I took a sip and tucked my legs beneath me.

  I had to put the brakes on Nash, too. My arm tightened over my belly as I worked through the thought.

  In addition to the contract being a non-disclosure agreement, it also clearly stated that during my time working with the Madam I couldn’t be tied to any kind of relationship outside of the business that might cause jealousy with the paid clientele. Too much could happen if they ever found out I had a man on the side.

  I understood that, but it didn’t stop the anguish from squeezing my windpipe dry. My hand lifted and I tipped the glass back, letting the fruity flavor wash over my taste buds.

  My mind raced with how I was going to break the news to Nash. He wasn’t going to take it well. That much I knew. And the worst of it all was that I knew I needed to do it soon.

  A subtle knock on the front door took me out of my head and back to the quiet surroundings of my apartment. My eyes blinked and I stared at the door until I heard another couple quick knocks. I took a deep breath and padded lightly over to see who it was.

  It was safe. I opened the door. “Hey.”

  Nash’s lips were a tight line and his expression was impossible to read. Maybe I’d read enough into things today where I didn’t have the energy or will to want to decipher what it was he was thinking. His lids hooded over and, finally, I caught an expression I could put a name to: relief.

  “I was waiting for you at Mint.” His voice washed over me and made me want to tell him how much I missed him today.

  I worked my fingers through my still-wet hair. “I’m not feeling one-hundred percent.” He didn’t ask about me missing work, so I didn’t bother bringing it up. No sense in starting a fire when things were already hot.

  He glanced over my shoulder and I saw his eyes land on my glass of wine.

  “I must have lost track of time.” My gaze darted every which way.

  He stepped around me and walked to the kitchen.

  My belly knotted when I saw what I’d failed to put away. “Fuck,” I said under my breath.

  “What’s this?” He picked up a photo Ted had sent with the envelope of articles Sylvia had written.

  I twirled my hair over my shoulder and moved across the room, taking my wine into my hand. “Nothing.” I took a sip. “Just some photos someone sent me.”

  He dropped his chin and browsed through the pile, none of which I wanted him to see.

  Even from the corner of my eye, I could see it written on the lines of his face; he didn’t like what he was seeing. And who could blame him? He was being portrayed as a monster, someone to stay away from. Here, all of his so-called war crimes were left out as if they were the last thing I’d read.

  “Who gave these to you?” Anger filled his eyes.

  “It doesn’t matter.” I turned my head and stared at the twinkling city lights in the distance.

  “It is if you believe what they’re saying.” His voice rose.

  My eyes bulged out of their sockets.

  His tone had me worried.

  I already felt bad for knowing I wouldn’t be able to keep my word about never leaving him. It was impossible, though.

  After signing on with the Madam, I knew I wouldn’t be able to keep what I had with Nash going. She’d find out. Hell, she already knew my entire life’s story better than Nash did. It was useless to try to keep Nash from her bank of knowledge.

  Nash and I had to end. I just didn’t know how I was going to break the news to him. Because if I knew him like I thought I did, Nash wasn’t a man who would let me just walk away.

  “Your old girlfriend,” I turned to look him in the eye, “who was she?”

  “What are you getting at? Huh? These photos?” He shook a photo in the air.

  “That’s her, isn’t it?”

  I watched his Adam’s apple slide up and down his throat. “It could be.”

  “What kind of answer is that?”

  “Alex, baby. There’s no sense in talking about my past.”

  “Why?” I felt my body temperature rise. “Because what these photos and articles say is true?”

  He gripped the edge of the counter so tight his knuckles turned white. An uncomfortable silence filled the air and the world as I knew it suddenly stopped. “What is it you want to know?”

  “What happened to her?”

  He turned his head and met my curious gaze. “Tell me what you know, and I’ll tell you my side of it.”

  85

  Nash

  I LISTENED TO EVERY WORD.

  I couldn’t take my eyes off the photos of me and my ex spread across the table in front of both of us.

  The images didn’t bother me. Neither did the fact that Alex had them in her possession. We never discussed much of our past, but Alex wasn’t a virgin. She had a history. No doubt about it.

  The way her hips rocked on my cock every time she was on top, only an experienced woman knew how to move like she could. There was a string of boyfriends that came before me. I was sure of it. That didn’t eat away at my conscience, either. So her seeing me with an old girlfriend should have been no big deal. I could live with knowing that I wasn’t her first.

  But this was different.

  No, what had my gut twisting was the fact that Ted had given her these photos. The man was tenacious and driving me mad with how much he was interfering with my life.

  There was only one conclusion I could come up with as to why he was so damn persistent—he thought Alex still had the money.

  Perhaps even the same amount of money Blake had promised him. That was the only thing that made sense.

  “Sylvia Neil tracked me down yesterday, too.” Alex’s voice brought me back to the present.

  The mention of Sylvia got my attention. “You were right.” I turned to look at her. “The media is on our tail.”

  She shook her head. “No. This wasn’t about me.”

  I arched a brow.

  “She was making sure I knew about you.” Her jaw set.

  I worked a hand through my hair and sighed.

  This was much deeper than I’d originally thought.

  She broke eye contact and I could tell she was crafting her next set of words carefully.

  My tongue slid over my bottom lip, applying a bit of moisture to my parched mouth. I wondered if Sylvia showed Alex the same set of images she made sure to show me. The ones that could damage my reputation if made public. The ones that portrayed me as the sexual monster some people thought maybe I was.

  The photos that would certainly push Alex away.

  Alex tilted her head. “Why are people telling me to stay away from you?”

  There it was. My suspicions finally came out of the shadows to play. “This town is cutthroat.” My chest tightened. “People play dirty tricks to get ahead. You know that.”

  Alex slid off her chair and moved to the kitchen where she pulled a drawer open. I watched as she pulled out a folded paper. She dropped it on the table in front of me as she passed and took a seat. “Go on. Read it.”

  I
unfolded the paper and quickly read the text. Of course. Fucking Ted was everywhere. This was exactly the kinds of trick I knew he was capable of. My fists clenched. The worst of it all was that the fucking bastard was always all over my woman.

  “Why would he say that?” Her chin trembled.

  My mind kept going back to thinking that maybe somehow Ted and Sylvia were working together on this. It was impossible for me to not consider the amount of overlap between them.

  I was learning Ted’s angle. But what was Sylvia’s?

  I looked Alex straight in the eye. “Because he’s had it out to get me since the moment I first laid eyes on you.”

  Her lips parted. “We’ve been through a lot already, Nash.”

  “And it’s only the beginning,” I reassured her. “It will get worse before it gets better.”

  “Ain’t that the truth.” She cast her eyes down as her cheeks flushed a light shade of pink. “I’m not sure who to believe.” Her voice dropped to barely a whisper.

  My fingers curled over my thighs as I leaned in. “You can believe me.”

  “But there’s something that I’m having a hard time figuring out.” She plucked the note from beneath my palm and held it in front of her face. “If he’s in love with me and jealous of what he thinks you stole from him—” She flicked her eyes up at me.

  I held still with anticipation that she’d come around in favor of me.

  “Then why does it seem there is something he wants and is trying to scare me into leaving Hollywood?”

  “Alex, baby, don’t listen to him. There’s more to his motivations than what appears to be on the surface.” Her chest rose as she inhaled a deep breath. “What do you think is more likely: Ted wanting you for himself, or him needing you to leave because I’m the monster he wants you to believe I am?”

  She clucked her tongue and shook her head. “It depends.”

  “On what?”

  “What you know about your ex’s disappearance.”

  I wrapped my fingers around my iced water and took a sip. “I’m not denying we weren’t together. And that note,” I pointed at the scribbled paper, “is right when it says she was also my intern. A student of Ted’s. Just like you.”

  “Where did she go?” Her voice was as soft as a feather.

  My shoulders rolled back. “One day she was just gone.” Tears welled in the corners of my eyes as the painful memory came rushing back to the foreground of my mind. “Left Hollywood without saying goodbye.” My gaze fell to my hands in front of me.

  “She meant something to you.”

  I felt the color drain from my face as I nodded.

  Alex moved from her seat and kneeled down in front of me.

  “The pressure was too much. She was breaking down. Unable to cope with the demands of the industry. I should have seen it coming. All the signs were there.” I paused to swallow the lump in my throat. “But in the end, I think it was me who ultimately made her decide to skip town.”

  Alex’s eyes widened, but only slightly. “You did to her what you demanded of me.”

  My lids hooded over as I nodded once.

  Alex smoothed her hands up my thighs before straddling me in my chair. “I knew what I was getting myself into.” She combed her fingers through my hair. “You made yourself very clear.”

  My arms wrapped around her waist and I squeezed her as tight as my muscles would allow. There was no one I wanted more than her. She was the only one I needed, and it seemed like everyone wanted to see us split.

  But I wouldn’t let that happen.

  “We can’t let others destroy what we have.” I pulled back to see her face so full of life. “You’re stronger. We’re stronger.”

  Her eyes appeared damp and overly bright as they danced across mine.

  “I don’t want her story to become yours.” My cock swelled under the weight of her. “If there is something that you don’t like, you’d tell me, wouldn’t you?”

  Her eyes watered as she nodded.

  “You can take what I give you?” I pulled her closer to me so her peaked nipples brushed over my chest. “The pain and the pleasure?”

  “Yes.” Her voice cracked. “I can take it.” She curled her nails over the nape of my neck. “You would know if I couldn’t.”

  I brushed my lips over hers, letting her raspy breaths fill my mouth.

  “This—” I turned to look at the photos and note. “This is just bullshit. You’re not going to let that break us apart, are you?” She squeezed her thighs tighter around my waist and I grabbed the globes of her ass.

  Her eyes darted back and forth and I could see that there was something on her mind but she couldn’t find the courage to say it. Was it fear or shock that had her tongue tied? I didn’t know.

  I palmed the back of her skull and guided her mouth down and over mine, taking her velvety muscle deep into my mouth, letting her know that I was the only one she needed—the only man who’d do anything for her.

  86

  Alex

  THE TIMING WASN’T RIGHT.

  He was being brutally honest with me, and here I was, unable to be completely honest back.

  There was no way I could break up with him now.

  Not with the way he managed to awake the butterflies in my stomach and make me ache with delicious agony for him.

  From the moment he arrived, he filled the void of insecurity and the doubt I’d been battling with inside my head. Nash made me feel secure and desired, and at this moment in time, that was all I needed to remind myself that I could get through what was sure to be tough days ahead.

  I was seriously falling for this man.

  Nash deepened our kiss and groaned.

  He was the one I believed. Not those other fools. He was the one I wanted to have by my side. Not Professor Fields. And certainly not any tabloid reporters like Sylvia Neil.

  Nash was the one true friend I had left. Kendra was there, sure, but with her most recent string of decisions concerning the course of my life, I started to question her more and more.

  My tongue curled against Nash’s just before I pulled away. His hungry eyes dilated and stared back into mine.

  All the warnings to stay away meant nothing to me when I looked into those eyes. He didn’t have to tell me about his ex; didn’t have to make himself vulnerable in showing me just how much she meant to him.

  But he did.

  His emotions were raw and genuine and that was what I needed to hear more than anything else—the truth. That sense of trust couldn’t be bought or sold. I reminded myself that he cared, just as I was about to embark on this new, crazy journey into the world of escorting.

  The tip of my finger followed his strong jaw line and moved down to the hollow pit of his collarbone before continuing on down over his muscled chest. Slowly, I pulled my bathrobe belt free and let the robe fall open, allowing my twins to spill out.

  Nash’s body vibrated with a low, approving rumble.

  I watched as his eyes narrowed, and my body leaned into his touch the moment he palmed my soft flesh. His lips rounded over a hardened kernel and sucked it between his teeth.

  My head flung back. He set my body on fire.

  He circled his tongue over my tender nerve and worked my body into a heated frenzy. “That feels amazing.” My words came out as whimper.

  I brought my head around and lifted his shirt over his head and started working to undo his belt, then the button on his pants, before tugging the zipper down.

  His hardness twitched and begged to be free.

  Seeing how turned on he was drowned the area between my thighs even more.

  He didn’t know it. But I did. And it was a truth that was hard to swallow. Knowing that this might be my last time playing with his amazing, long cock and having him kiss me with such dominant passion, I knew I better make it memorable for the both of us—something neither of us would ever forget.

  My heels dropped to the floor and I took a step back, letting the robe sli
de off my shoulders before falling to the floor.

  Nash bit his bottom lip and raked me over with his heated gaze.

  My tongue slid across my bottom lip as I watched him stand and drop his pants, then his briefs.

  I moved toward him, needing to feel his strong and imposing body pressed up against mine. His hands palmed my face, threading his fingers through my hair before squeezing my shoulders and trailing down my spine until stopping at the ledge just above my ass.

  My hands clasped around his neck and I stood on my tiptoes to reach his lips.

  His tongue demanded entrance and I opened for him. He pressed and I thrusted, each of us demanding to be in control and take charge with where we went to next.

  He tightened his grip around my waist, digging the tips of his fingers into my flesh as he pushed me back across the room until I was pressed up against the glass windows of the living room.

  Nash coiled his tongue and broke our kiss, spinning me around so he could position himself behind me.

  My fingers splayed on the cool glass surface and he kicked my feet wide.

  Nash had won again.

  This was his show now.

  It was pointless to protest because I liked where he was taking it.

  When his hand came down and smacked my ass hard, I yelped and gritted my teeth. “Nash, I want you to fuck me.”

  “Trust me, baby, you don’t think I’m going to do that?” His palm flew down on my ass cheek again.

  The sting rippled across my heated flesh and I shook my head. “No, fuck me like it’s your last.”

  He reached around and cupped my tit, rolling my tightened nipple between his fingers. “Like it’s my last?” His hot breath tickled my ear.

  I nodded and gasped as he split my folds with his opposite hand.

  “You’re always so wet for me.” He spread my moisture around.

  “Anything for my Master,” I purred.

  He worked his finger deeper inside me and my eyes closed as the tingling in my spine traveled down to my toes.

  His finger was good. But I wanted his eagerness inside me.

  He pulled his finger from my hot cavern and put in my mouth. “Do you like how you taste?” He nipped the lobe of my ear.