He shook his head. “I have to go up to LSU next Thursday. They’re doing some sort of contest for all the football players. The sponsors are giving a hefty donation of $100,000 to the university. I’m on the Alumni Committee, so I have to be there. There’s a chance for one entrant to pick up fifty grand if he wins. Could we do it when I get back?”
Jane sucked in her breath. “Sure,” she said, trying to keep her expression normal. “How about the next Friday?”
“Make it around this time. I’ll clear the decks and we can talk as long as you like.”
She stood up, preparing to go. “You were a year behind me at LSU, weren’t you? I wasn’t into sports much, but I remember your name. You jocks all hung out together, didn’t you?”
Brian stiffened. “Not all of the time, but yeah, we did. We all belonged to the same frat house.”
“Let’s see,” Jane said, putting her hand beneath her chin, “there was you, Todd Prentice, and who were the others?”
“Why do you want to know, Doc?”
Jane smiled innocently. “You know us shrinks, Brian. We like details. You know what they say, the devil is in those details.” She stood directly in front of him, eye to eye. “So, who were the others? I know you didn’t forget them.”
He was starting to sweat. “The guys I hung out with were Marcus Appleton, Tony Larsen, Todd, Mitch Iverson, Pete Zachary, and Ben Nolan. They all graduated a year ahead of me, with you. Like I said, we all belonged to the same frat house.”
“Brothers, huh?”
Brian mopped at his brow with his sleeve. “You could say that although I never quite belonged. I was there to get an education and to play football. I came out with a 4.0, and they were lucky if they had a 2.2. I went on to get my Master’s plus thirty. If you want my honest opinion, they weren’t worth spitting on. I played their game, I had to. I was on a football scholarship. That didn’t mean I had to like it.”
“Are those guys going to enter the contest at LSU?”
“Yeah, but for the fifty thousand the winner gets. Not for their alma mater’s sake. They don’t give a hoot if the university gets the endowment or not. Therein lies the difference. I happen to care. Look, Doc, I didn’t just fall off the watermelon truck. I think I see where this is going. You got the wrong guy here.”
“I know that,” Jane said, crossing her arms. “Just tell me one thing. How are you in the guts department?”
“No better or no worse than the next guy,” Ramsey said, jamming his hands into his pockets.
“Wrong answer, Brian. This isn’t going to go away. You need to know that. Wouldn’t you finally like to be at peace with yourself? Wouldn’t you like to find a nice woman and raise a family without all those old ghosts from the past rearing their ugly heads? Do you have any idea how wonderful, how cleansing life would be for you if you had, let’s say, a bushel and a half of guts and weren’t afraid to use them? I’ll call you next Friday. You still okay with that?”
He nodded.
“See you then.”
“Doc?”
Jane turned around. “Yes, Brian.”
“How public are those guts going to go?”
“Whatever it takes. It always helps to put your side out first, you know, first one out of the gate. That kind of thing. It usually works best before everyone starts scrambling. Did you ever stop to think there might have been a witness?” Jane wouldn’t have thought it humanly possible to see a human being shrivel in front of her very eyes. But Brian Ramsey did just that.
Jane took every shortcut and back alley she knew so she could get to Trixie’s house faster and report the afternoon’s events. When she burst into the kitchen, she was breathless. “It’s next Thursday, Trix. Brian Ramsey is going up to LSU, and so are all the others. A week from today is the day! He’s scared witless. I gave him a lot to think about. He’s going to do one of two things. Either he’s going to tell the others, or he’s going to keep quiet and when they get to him, he’s going to roll over. If it wasn’t for all this baggage, he’d probably be a nice guy. He told me he took some flowers out to Betty’s grave. His eyes filled up. That has to say something for the man. On the way home, I was comparing him to myself. If, and it’s a big if, he was the sixth guy, he didn’t do anything. I know he was off to the side and kind of arguing with one of them, but I was so scared I couldn’t hear, and they were hissing at each other in low angry voices. I honest to God don’t believe he knew I was the one there that night with Connie Bryan. I could see him putting it together in his mind. Graduating with a 4.0 doesn’t make for stupid in my book. Plus the guy went back for his Master’s plus thirty. I wish . . . God, Trixie, I wish so many things.”
“One day at a time, Janie. I think you’re on the home stretch now.”
“It took me long enough. It’s the right thing, isn’t it, Trixie? I know lives are going to change, families will be torn apart. Do I have the right to do that?”
“Honey, all you have to do is ask yourself if Connie Bryan had the right to live. Or if other people had the right to violate her. You did what you thought was right at the time; you honored a promise. You know my philosophy on life. Kick ass and take names later.”
“I’m going home to think, Trixie.” She turned to leave.
“Wait a minute. I almost forgot. Tyson Realty called. The owners of your parents’ house accepted your offer. That was pretty quick if you want my opinion. You better think on that while you’re in your think mode.”
“I will, Trixie,” Jane said grimly.
17
Jane rolled over and was instantly aware that Mike was gone. She fumbled for the bedside clock: 5:45 A.M. She had an hour and fifteen minutes until it was time to drive across the fields to Trixie’s house. She snuggled deep into the covers as she willed her mind to go back into the dream she’d been having before she’d awakened. Olive snuggled beside her and licked her face.
“I didn’t think you were ever going to wake up, Miss Jane.”
“Go away. You’re not in the dream. You’re in a different dream. I appreciate all your help, but you make me nervous. I’m beginning to wonder if you aren’t actually a spook and not a dream.”
Billy stood at the end of the bed and laughed. “It’s about time!” he said. The smile left his face as suddenly as it had appeared. “I want to tell you something, Miss Jane. It isn’t’t necessary to burn down that house or implode it. All you have to do is tell your mother you forgive her, and she’ll pass over to the other side.”
Jane grimaced. “You need to mind your own business where my mother is concerned,” she chided. “It will be a cold day in hell before I forgive her for the things she did to me. I hope she flops around over there until the end of time. There’s no room for discussion where she’s concerned. But you can tell me how to free you, and I’ll do it. You didn’t jump into the well, did you?”
“No. My brother and I were playing and things got too rough. He pushed me and I fell in. Then he was afraid to tell. It was hours before they found me and by then it was too late. I drowned. If you really want to help me, you’ll have to do away with the well. There’s a boulder in there that is preventing my spirit from leaving. If you could do that for me I would be forever grateful.”
“In a heartbeat. Are you sure about this? What about Jeeter?”
“I’ll hold on to him, and he’ll pass over with me.”
“Okay, kid, pack your duds and I’ll get on it today. People around here already think I’m nuts, so don’t be surprised if they don’t hustle their fannies to get out here to do this. I’ll give it my best shot, though.”
“What can I do for you in return, Miss Jane? Turnabout is fair play.”
“Nothing, Billy. I just want to see you happy. I’m trying to clear up all the old baggage in my life. If I marry Mike, I don’t want any of that old stuff cluttering up our lives. I’m going to live here on this property until I die, and I don’t want you scaring my kids. Or me. I like you, but you don’t belong here
.”
“I can tell your mother what a nice person you are.”
“It ain’t gonna happen so shut up about that or I’ll change my mind where you’re concerned, Billy.”
“Why are you so angry? You haven’t even gotten out of bed yet.”
“Why don’t you mind your own business?”
“You are my business, Miss Jane.”
“Then forget that part of it. Please.”
“I wanted to tell you, Jeeter is learning a lot at those training classes.”
“Huh?”
“He can do everything the other dogs do. He can go over there to your godmother’s house because he passed naturally. I’m so proud of him.”
“If you go to the other side, will you ever be able to come back? You know, just to check on things.”
“I think so, but only if you really need me. First you have to believe, and you have to stop calling me a spook.”
“Okay, you’re a spirit and my mother is a spook. Howzat?”
“Your English is terrible, Miss Jane. It’s how is that.” He leaned forward, his hands on the footrail. “In spite of what you think, your mother did love you. She cries a lot because she’s sorry for the way she treated you.”
“My ass! There isn’t a remorseful bone in her body. And the crying is a trick. She used to do that with my father to get her way. There were never any real tears. If there had been, all that junk on her face would have made her look like a ghoul. Did she put you up to this?”
“No. You have to stop being so suspicious. What I said is true. She loved you, and she’s sorry. She’s over at the old house waiting for you. If you want happiness in your life, you have to set her free. Burning down the house isn’t the answer you’re looking for. What will you tell your children about their grandmother?”
“The truth—that she was a raving bitch, as hateful as hateful could be.”
“If you do that, they’ll see and hear all the hatred you have in you. You have to let it go. I know you’re a smart lady. Can’t you figure it out?”
“Listen, kid, I’m going to wake up now, and you better be gone. Don’t give me any more advice even if I ask for it.”
“What you just said sounds really dumb.”
“About as dumb as you being a spook!”
Jane bolted out of bed when Olive started barking. “I’m up. I’m up! What? You want me to follow you? Okay, okay,” Jane said, slipping into her robe and slippers.
Jane shuffled her way through the house, out to the back porch, then onto the driveway, where Olive raced to the old well. It was just light enough for her to see a small speckled dog. “Jeeter?”
The dog barked in answer.
Jane pinched herself to make sure she was awake. She was. And there was Jeeter, or rather the ghostly specter of Jeeter, sort of foggy and see-through. “Okay. Okay, girl,” she said, patting Olive. “You go ahead and play with him. I’m going to get dressed, then I have some phone calls to make.” She shook her head to clear her thoughts. Spirits, ghosts, spooks. Was she turning into a believer? Why wasn’t she running and screaming the way most people would do at just the mention of the word ghost? She shook her head again. “Seeing is believing,” she muttered.
If she was going to send Jeeter and Billy home, wherever that was—heaven, the great beyond, outer space, whatever—she needed to get a move on.
It was noon before John Murray called a halt to the morning’s K-9 training session.
Jane walked out into the sunshine and did some stretching exercises to ease her aching back. Dog training required a lot of bending and stooping. “I’m going to skip lunch, Trixie. I have an errand to run. Did anyone from LSU call?”
“Not yet. I think it’s going to rain. Looks like a storm’s brewing. You better do what you have to do before it comes. Isn’t today your meeting with Mr. Ramsey?”
“Yes. I’m caught up on the paperwork. I did it all last night. Twelve new dogs are due next week.” She looked across the yard at the prefab building the contractors had put up over the weekend. “I think we can handle it. Okay, I’ll see you later. I’ll pick Olive up on my way back.”
Jane drove across town with one eye on the road and the other on the approaching storm clouds. A fine mist started to settle on the windshield. She could feel the trembling start in her legs. Before long she’d be consumed with fear, the way she always was when a storm came. The moment she saw the sign for Rosemont Street, her breath escaped in a loud hiss. This time she wouldn’t have to crawl in through the root cellar. This time she had a key to the front door, compliments of Tyson Realty.
“Burning down the house isn’t the answer you’re looking for.” Billy’s words echoed in Jane’s ears as she turned the key in the lock. Then what was the answer? She wondered. Before she could give it another thought, the door opened.
She scurried indoors just as the skies opened up. She stood for a moment, her arms crossed against her chest in fright as she stared out the front window. Lightning zigzagged across the sky as thunder rumbled and rolled overhead. Where could she go? The rooms were open and empty, the windows bare. There was no safe place to hide. Suddenly, she was a petrified child again, running from room to room.
“Come with me, Jane. I know a safe place.”
“Mama?”
“Hurry, Jane. Take my hand.” Her hand felt so soft, so warm, so safe. “There’s a little cubbyhole under the stairs.” She led Jane downstairs and opened a small door at the end of the foyer, beneath the stairs. “We used to keep your father’s tools in here. There’s just enough room for both of us. Don’t be afraid. I’m with you.”
Jane crawled inside on her hands and knees. It was dark, but she wasn’t afraid. “I like it here. It’s cozy.”
“This was your special place. Don’t you remember?”
“I remember. I hid here after I burned all your stuff. Were you watching me?”
“Yes. And I know why you did it, too.” She put her arms around Jane and held her. “I’m sorry, Jane. I wasn’t a good wife, and I was a worse mother.”
“Why were you so mean, so hateful?”
“Because I didn’t know how to love other people. The only person I loved was myself. I loved my body, my beauty. All I thought about was my hair, my clothes, and how I looked. I am so sorry I couldn’t be the kind of mother you wanted. You won’t be like me when you have children, will you?”
“No. I’m going to love my children. I will always make time for them no matter how busy I am. I’m going to teach them to be good people who care about others. I want them to grow up strong and independent and loving. Mike is going to help me with that. I’m never going to be like you. I don’t want my children to hate me.”
“Do you really hate me, Jane?”
Jane pulled away from her mother’s arms. “Yes. I try not to, but I can’t get rid of the feeling. What am I going to tell my children when they ask me about their grandmother? Should I say you didn’t love me, but in spite of you I grew up and got a life of my own? Should I tell them you were so obsessed with yourself that you had no time for anyone else? Should I bring them here to this house so they can see you do all your spook tricks? I don’t think so. Goddamn it, I can’t even say you died and went to heaven because it would be a lie. You know something else? You aren’t beautiful at all. It was all that stuff you plastered on your face that made you look beautiful. Without all that junk you’re almost ugly.”
“Careful, Jane, you’re beginning to sound just like me,” her mother warned.
“Tell me something, Mother Dearest. If by some chance you could make it to the other side or wherever Dad is, would you be the same as you are here? You know, ugly and mean and hateful?”
“I think everything changes when you get there. I guess you don’t much believe in second chances and forgiveness, do you, Jane?”
“Only with you, Mother. Only with you.”
“Believe it or not, Jane, I loved you. I used to go into your room when you were litt
le and watch you sleep. I always covered you and turned on your music box even if you were sound asleep. Sometimes I would even sing to you. I didn’t have a very good voice though so most times I just hummed the tune. I read you stories, too. I’d make all these promises to myself that tomorrow I would do better, that I would take you to the zoo, the movies, for an ice-cream cone, but I never did.”
“I don’t believe you. You never tucked me in, or read or sang to me. I’d remember if you did.”
“You were asleep. How could you possibly remember? You need to sleep now, Jane. And when you wake up the storm will be over. I’ll lie here next to you.”
“I’m not falling for any of your tricks. You just want me to forgive you so I’ll release you.”
“Whether you release me or not, the only thing that matters is that you are happy and at peace. Hush now, I’ll sing you a song like I used to do. Are you warm enough? Come closer, I’ll hold you. Hush little baby . . .”
When Jane woke, she was so befuddled she started to scream and pound at the floor. Was she losing her mind? Maybe she already lost it and was too stupid to know it. She crawled out from the little room on her hands and knees and looked around. The worst of the storm was over, but it was still raining. She stood up and brushed off her clothes, then turned and looked back into the little cubbyhole. A lightbulb dangled from a long chain. She hadn’t turned it on, yet the light was burning. She reached in to pull the chain. The instant darkness made her shiver.
“Mama,” she whispered.
“I’m here, Jane. It’s safe for you to leave now. Be careful, the roads are slick. It’s all right, Jane. You didn’t promise me anything.”
“Mama,” she whispered again. Jane felt something brush her cheek, something soft, feather-light, and warm. Had her mother kissed her? She reached up to touch her cheek. It felt moist to her hand.
“Come back and visit, Jane. I get lonely.”
Plain Jane Page 30
