by Kimbra Swain
Bless Your Heart
Fairy Tales Of A Trailer Park Queen: Book One
Kimbra Swain
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.
Kimbra Swain
Bless Your Heart: Fairy Tales of a Trailer Park Queen, Book 1
©2017, Kimbra Swain / Crimson Sun Press, LLC
[email protected]
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. This book contains material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from the author / publisher.
Cover art by Hampton Lamoureux @ TS95 Studios https://www.ts95studios.com
Formatting by Serendipity Formats: https://serendipityformats.wixsite.com/formats
Editing by Carol Tietsworth: https://www.facebook.com/Editing-by-Carol-Tietsworth-328303247526664/
ISBN (paperback): 978-0-9993609-1-0
Contents
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Acknowledgments
About the Author
Sneak Peek
Sitting under a beach umbrella tied to a wooden deck with zip ties, I fanned myself with a tabloid as I drank an orange soda. In Alabama, it wasn’t so much the heat as much as the stifling humidity. The air was thick and soupy.
“I'm burning slap up,” I said to Rufus, my wiener dog. He sat under my lawn chair chewing on a plastic pink flamingo. When I bought the lawn ornaments, I didn't intend for them to be chew toys, but I think they intimidated him.
Across the street, I watched Cletus and Tater, the trailer park idiots, trying to coax a raccoon out from under Bethany Jones’ trailer. I shook my head. One or both of them would end up with rabies shots before it was all over.
“Y’all better leave that coon alone, Cletus!” I yelled over to them. Cletus smiled as he waved to me. “Stupid idjits,” I muttered.
Hearing a car approach, I stood up, adjusting my bra straps. They poked out from under my tank top, with the heat and my sweat, they were slipping down off my shoulders.
It was too hot to wear anything respectable, so I wore cutoff jeans, a tank top and flat tennis shoes with no socks. The black bra contrasted with the white tank top, but I didn’t expect to have any company besides the sheriff. At least, I wasn't barefoot and pregnant like the girl next door, Josie. I don’t see her as often as I used to, since her boyfriend knocked her up and left. The poor thing, her boyfriend hadn’t come back.
I held my hand up to my brow, blocking the sun, as an old black Buick Regal pulled into the gravel drive of my lot in Cahaba Acres Mobile Home Park. The driver of the vehicle got out, and his gray hair looked disheveled.
“Jeremiah, I don't know how you drive that land yacht with no air conditioner,” I called out to him.
“Ain't got time to get it fixed,” he called back.
“Come on in the house, my window unit is blowing snowballs,” I said when his passenger exited the car.
Jeremiah Freyman usually traveled alone. He was a member of the Sanhedrin, like in the Bible, only he wasn’t Jewish and not really religious. For a man who looked to be in his mid-50s, he was physically fit, except for a small paunch just above his beltline.
The Sanhedrin liked to stick their noses in anyone’s supernatural business. That’s how I got to know Jeremiah. He stuck his nose in my business, but he was different than most of them. If he was here, then he had a problem and needed my help. I supposed his problem was the tall, dark and handsome that just stepped out of the Buick.
Aloof and mysterious, the Sanhedrin always seemed to be hiding something under their dark robes and inside hidden courtrooms. It made me shudder just to think about the last time I’d stepped inside one of those halls of judgement.
I pulled my plastic hot pink sunglasses down to get a good look at the boy. He couldn’t have been more than 25 years old. Just over six-foot-tall, chocolate hair and brooding blue eyes that told me he was trouble or in it. He had the lean muscular body of a baseball player, like a shortstop, not a catcher.
“Grace, this is Levi Rearden. He’s my new apprentice,” Jeremiah said.
“Apprentice!” I exclaimed. “I’m sorry to be rude, Levi, but let me talk to this old coot. Then I’ll greet you properly.” Jeremiah in the forty years I’d known him had never had an apprentice. He would rant and rave about how young magical talents were slipping through the cracks, but never had he actually taken a student.
Jeremiah laughed at me explaining, “Yeah, I kinda got saddled with him.”
Levi kicked at a rock in the driveway and didn’t look at us. “Y’all come on in the house. It’s hotter than blue blazes out here,” I said waving them to the porch. About that time, Cletus started yelling up a storm. We all spun around to look, as Tater had the raccoon by the hind legs as it attacked Cletus’ face. Rufus barked wildly at the commotion. Jeremiah flicked his wrist toward the fools, and Tater let go of the poor animal. It ran off into the woods.
“Lord have mercy! You boys had that coming,” I yelled. “Tater, go call an ambulance.”
“No, no, no Miss Grace. I’m fine,” Cletus said with blood dripping down his cheek.
“Git in the car, Cletus. We’ll go down to the clinic,” Tater said, jumping into a 1987 Cutlass Supreme with a miss-matched hood held down by duct tape. The car tore off down the road out of the trailer park slinging gravel the whole way.
“Life is never dull here,” I said, and Jeremiah laughed. “Y’all come on in. I’ll get you something cold to drink.”
Rufus let out a little growl as Levi approached. He ran between my legs after his display of bravery. Rufus treated everyone like that despite he and I having lengthy and regular conversations about his lack of southern hospitality.
“Never mind him. He’s only half as vicious as he looks,” I said opening the screen door to the trailer.
Jeremiah and Levi followed me into my double wide. I had four window air conditioner units in it, plus every ceiling fan in the house turned on full speed. It wasn’t by any means a freezer, but it was more comfortable than the outdoor heat.
I went to the fridge, pulling out a new can of orange soda and two cans of Coke. “Have a seat,” I said pointing at the couch I bought at a yard sale last week. The upholstery looked better than the old suede one I got last year at the thrift store. Cletus and Tater had helped me move the old one to the curb, and in little less than an hour it was gone. That’s how we disposed of unwanted items. One man’s trash was another man’s treasure.
I handed them each a Coke. Levi didn’t acknowledge me or make eye contact.
“Thank you, Grace,” Jeremiah said taking the Coke. “Say thank you,
boy.”
“Thank you, ma’am,” Levi said staring out the window.
“What you doing sitting outside in the heat?” Jeremiah said.
“Sheriff Riggs is on his way over to talk about those missing kids,” I said.
“Oh, yeah, we haven’t found much out about all of that on our end. Looks like just a regular kidnapping. He expects something squirrelly about it?” he asked. It was his way of asking if I knew something or if someone supernatural was involved.
“He’s coming here, isn’t he? Last time he was here, he blamed me for it,” I said. Actually, he came over to discuss more personal things and got mad at me. So, he proceeded to make it an official visit, questioning me about the children. He knew better, but I supposed I got under his skin enough that he tried to turn it around on me.
“What? I thought you two were seeing each other,” Jeremiah said.
“How the hell do you know about that?” I asked.
“You know it’s my job to keep tabs on the supernatural in my jurisdiction, and the local trailer park fairy queen is at the top of my list,” he said. I shot a look at Levi who didn’t flinch. I supposed Jeremiah decided to tell Levi my identity without my permission. I scowled at him.
“For your information, it was one drunken mistake,” I said. Actually, I wasn’t completely drunk, but it made for a good excuse as to why I refused to go out with him again.
“It may have been for you, but I still think he’s sweet on you,” Jeremiah said. He had a good sense of humor, but I intended to avoid the topic of Dylan Riggs as long as I could. Jeremiah teased me like a pesky uncle. I distinctly got the feeling that Jeremiah meant more than he said when mentioning Dylan, but I let it go.
“That’s enough of that. Why are you here? Surely you know I didn’t have anything to do with those missing kids,” I said.
“You mean you didn’t eat them?” Jeremiah replied.
“Fairies do not eat children. We only kidnap them,” I said. Finally, Levi’s eyes shot up to mine. “Well, he does have ears. Hello, Levi Rearden, welcome to my home. I offer you food, drink and rest. If there is anything else you require, it will be provided to you with no strings attached.”
He stared at me for a moment, then looked at Jeremiah.
“Son, that’s a right offer of hospitality. I suggest you take it,” he told the boy.
“Thank you, ma’am. Your hospitality is appreciated and accepted,” he said returning his gaze to the window. I’m not sure brooding covered what this kid was projecting. It was more like wallowing in mud. Or deep shit.
Hospitality is a tenet held through the ages that offered travelers a respite without obligation to the home owner. Without it, I could level any number of curses on both of them which would be all kinds of fun, but my cursing days were long gone. Except for the vulgarities of my language which I had no plans of cleaning up anytime soon. Of course, Jeremiah had my promise of hospitality for a long time. Levi would fall under that prior agreement because he was Jeremiah’s apprentice. However, I wanted to offer it to Levi as well. I wasn’t sure what kind of predicament he was in, but if I could help, I would, because I was a sap for a sob story.
“Very kind of you, Grace,” Jeremiah said, as I took a seat in my recliner.
“No problem. What brings you out this way?” I asked.
“Well, Levi is getting started later than normal in his training. He’s had some magical experience, but found himself in a bad situation,” Jeremiah said.
“If it was a good situation, you wouldn’t be here,” I retorted.
“True enough. Levi’s power is in elemental magic like yours. He’s from Dublin,” Jeremiah said.
“Ireland?”
“No, Texas,” Levi responded without looking at us. It sounded like he got that response quite often. Touchy.
“Why is a Texas boy being taught by an Alabama Sanhedrin?” I asked.
“He was on the run when I found him. His girlfriend is a Cane Creek Creole Priestess,” Jeremiah said.
Yep, deep shit. “Nope. No way. No how,” I said without letting him finish emphatically pointing toward the door. “You get your behinds out of my trailer and back down the road. I don’t play with voodoo witches.”
“Well, that’s the thing, Grace. She needs to be handled, and the boy shouldn’t be involved. So, either you take care of her, or watch over him for me while I do it,” Jeremiah explained.
“Nope. I do not want to be involved,” I said.
“Grace Ann Bryant, you owe me,” Jeremiah said.
“I thought we were friends?” I replied.
“We are, and that’s why I’m asking you. I can’t leave him with anyone else,” he said.
“What you mean is you can’t leave him with any of your fellow judges. What did he do?” I asked. “No, don’t you answer that, old man. Levi, what did you do?”
His face grew dark, refusing to answer. Jeremiah opened his mouth to speak, but I put up my finger to him. He clamped his mouth shut.
I got up from my chair and sat down on the wooden coffee table in front of Levi, so he couldn’t ignore me. Most men couldn’t ignore me at all, but he seemed to be successfully doing it. I decided to press him.
“Levi, you are a grown man. Jeremiah is going to stop calling you boy, and so am I. But to earn a little respect around here, you are going to have speak up, and act like a man,” I said.
His jaw flexed under his skin, and he sighed deeply. You see, Levi was a Texan, and no Texan likes to be called anything except a mature man. I appealed to his testosterone in a different way. He couldn’t help but answer me now. “Lisette and I, along with some of her coven, summoned a demon. Only I didn’t know it was a demon, and I didn’t know they had to have my magic to do it,” he admitted.
I leaned back on the table looking at Jeremiah, who flicked his wrist at me giving me permission to proceed with my methods. An evil grin crossed my face as I decided to lay it out flat for Levi Rearden, just in case he didn’t realize how deep in shit he was. I’d say he was in clear up to his neck.
“The demon follows you,” I said.
Finally, he made solid eye contact with me. “He does?” he asked, his eyes filled with fear.
“Yes, he does, because that’s what happens when you summon demons. He’s tied to you, Levi. I hope she was worth being condemned to hell. She good in bed?” I prodded him.
“That’s none of your business,” he growled.
“Sweetheart, if I’m going to kill her or babysit you, it’s my damn business,” I said. “Where is she?”
“I don’t know. I lost her in Baton Rouge, and a Sanhedrin friend of mine in Texas told me to contact Jeremiah when I got to Alabama,” he said burying his face in his hands. They were worn and calloused indicating that he knew all about hard work. He was too young to be tied up in this kind of mess, and unlike most of my kind, I had some compassion for the young man.
“Which do you prefer, Jeremiah?” I asked.
“I’ll take the girl,” he said.
“You sure, because you are going to run off and kill his girlfriend. Doesn’t really start the apprenticeship on the right foot,” I said.
“I know, but it has to be done. He knows that,” Jeremiah said.
“I don’t know that at all. There has to be a way to save her,” he said.
Poor kid. “Summoning demons is beyond normal witch practices, Levi. Most witches, pagans and druids stick to minor magic work. The Sanhedrin are on a whole different level, and I rank above that, but you won’t catch me summoning a demon, ever!” I explained.
“I love her,” he muttered.
“Oh, you don’t say! Good thing you are young. You’ll get over it,” I said.
He stood up abruptly, storming out of the door. “That was heartless, Grace. He does love her,” Jeremiah said.
“He’s too young to know what love is. She was a good lay, and he found her intriguing. At least she didn’t put a spell on him, so we know his affections are gen
uine. But that ain’t love,” I said.
“Really? What is love, Grace? You an expert on that?” Jeremiah shot at me.
“Look, old man, you can take your trouble and go for all I care. He can stay here if you want, but you might want to reconsider your role in his life after you hunt down and murder the love of his life,” I suggested.
“The judges want him dead,” he said.
“Oh hell, Jerry! You sure know how to get a girl to do what you want,” I said.
“I won’t ask for anything else for another year,” he said. Jeremiah and I had an agreement. Generally, fairies weren’t allowed to reside in the real world for a long period of time, but I had no choice. I was an Otherworld exile.
When I was younger, I had no desire to follow in my father’s and mother’s footsteps. They were royalty, but I enjoyed the sunshine and fresh air of the human realm as well as the company of mortal men. Sneaking out of the Otherworld became my favorite pastime, but when they caught me the last time, the high council banished me from the Otherworld. It was essentially a death sentence, but I found a way to survive.
I traveled around Europe like a gypsy for a while, then migrated to the new world hoping to find a new home. The natives here were terrified of me, and the Europeans who moved in weren’t tolerant either. I moved from town to town as I was discovered by Sanhedrin operatives who continuously hunted me. Eventually I settled in the south with my double wide trailer. When things got tough as they always did, I would pack up and move.
When I met Jeremiah, he was in a bind with a couple of trolls. I helped him out, and he said if I helped him occasionally, I could settle in his territory. He drew up a contract of the things I could and couldn’t do, but after being on the road so much, I didn’t mind the restrictions. It was a nice idea to settle down. Lately though, I’d gotten tired of Shady Grove. I would need to move on to something new. People start to notice when you don’t age like everyone else.
