by Kerry Taylor
“Carina? We’re at the hospital. My Dad just text to say they’re here already. Kade is being checked over and Dad wants you to be checked over too, ok?”
“Is Kade ok?” I asked, suddenly snapping back to reality.
“We don’t know yet, Princess. Let’s get in and find out, ok?” Kyle said, turning to look at me from the front. I nodded and moved to stand, but my legs were exhausted and wouldn’t even try to lift me.
“What’s wrong?” Matt asked.
“I’m just tired. I had to move Kade pretty far and then get him into the car…..it was hard, really hard.” I whispered.
“You lifted Kade into his car?” Kyle asked as he just stared at me incredulously.
“He came around enough to help some. I shouldn’t have moved him though. I wasn’t thinking. I just worried he would freeze out there.” I whispered.
“You’re fucking amazing.” Matt whispered as he kissed my forehead gently, but I didn’t feel amazing, I would never forgive myself if Kade didn’t come out of this.
Kyle lifted me from the back of the car and carried me into the hospital. I felt pathetic being carried, but I knew I was too weak and exhausted to make my legs work.
Matt followed and we all headed into a small waiting room where Grant and Cole were sat anxiously fidgeting.
“Olivia!” Cole gasped as we walked in. He leapt up and hurried to me. “Are you ok?”
“Is Kade? Where is he? What’s happening?” I asked.
“Xander is with him while he gets checked over. He’ll need a CAT scan, but the doctors weren’t too worried. They said head wounds always bleed a lot.” Grant explained.
“Can’t we see him?” I was tearing up again, just desperate to see him and know he was alright.
“Not yet, Beautiful. Xander will tell us as soon as they know anything.” Cole said with a half smile. “Come sit down with me.” He held out his arms and Kyle handed me over. I clung to his wide neck as he carried me to a seat and sat, settling me on his lap. I just relaxed against him, needing his warmth against my chilled body, and his safety surrounding me.
“What happened Liv?” Kyle asked as he and Matt sat opposite me, beside Grant.
“We were at a pretty high lookout point when the snow started. Kade got us down as fast as he could, but we weren’t dressed for it and I kept on slipping.” I began, my voice flat and exhausted. “We were almost to the car, but there were some huge stone steps. Kade went first and he lost his footing and fell. I th-think he banged his head…...banged it on a step. He rolled a ways, then he was just…..just still.” I fought hard not to sob as I went on. “I got to him, but he wouldn’t wake up. I tried the cell phones, but they wouldn’t work. The car wasn’t far and Kade was getting so cold, so I decided to drag him. It wasn’t far, like twenty feet, but I think…...I think maybe I shouldn’t h-have moved him. Did I make things worse?” I asked tearfully.
“No Liv. You did the right thing getting him out of the cold. I don’t know how the fuck you did it though. One of us would have struggled to get Kade in that car, never mind you.”
“I had to. I couldn’t leave him there while I went who knows how far to get help? Luckily he came around just enough to help me get him in the car and then he was out again. I just started driving. I didn’t exactly know what I was doing, but I worked it out. I drove to the highway, but there was still no cell service. I went further, but then other cars started appearing and I got scared I would cause an accident. I pulled over and that’s when Grant called.”
“You were amazing Olivia. You did so good. Like I told you before, you’re a fucking warrior.” Cole whispered as he held me tighter against him, comforting me.
“I just want Kade to be alright.” I whispered, my voice barely coming out.
“He will be. You’ll see. He’ll be fine.” Cole assured me.
“I’m going to find Xander. See if he’ll look you over. You’re too pale.” Grant said as he stood.
“Don’t, please Grant. Kade needs him now. I’m ok. I just need to get warm and dry and rest for a while.”
“I’ll keep an eye on her Dad.” Cole agreed, much to my relief.
“Fine, but I’ll call Keira and have her bring you a change of clothes when she comes over. She’s just waiting on a babysitter for Evie. She won’t be long.” I nodded, desperate to take off my clothes which were filthy and soaking wet from all of my crawling in the snow, and also covered in Kade’s blood.
“Just close your eyes and rest, Beautiful. I’ll wake you if Mom or Xander come, ok?” Cole offered, and I nodded, barely even able to keep my eyes open. A few minutes rest would do me some good. Give me the energy I needed to be there for Kade when he woke up.
***
It was Keira’s voice, filled with worry and stress, that awoke me a while later.
“How is he? Have we had an update?” She asked. I opened my eyes and found her hurrying in. She was dressed in leggings and a baggy t-shirt under her coat, so unlike what she usually wore, and it was clear she had been crying.
“No update yet.” Grant sighed as he rushed to her and took her in his arms.
“How’s Olivia?” She asked quietly as they hugged.
“Exhausted and pale, but she doesn’t want to be checked over. She says she’s ok. Cole has her for now.”
“Where did this snow even come from? It wasn’t forecast last night!” Keira cried.
“I know Honey. Just one of those freak weather fronts I think. Kade will be ok. Olivia did well getting him to help. She likely saved his life, and near killed herself doing it.” They obviously thought I was still asleep as they spoke and I felt bad eavesdropping, so I closed my eyes again and settled back into Cole. I was almost back asleep when Cole shook me ever so gently.
“Olivia, Mom’s here. Let’s get you cleaned up and in dry clothes, yeah?” He asked when I opened my eyes and looked up to him. I nodded and he smiled gently as he gathered me closer and stood.
“Here Honey. I brought you the warmest clothes you had.” Keira said as she handed Cole a backpack. “Do you need some help changing?” She offered kindly, but there was no way I was letting her see my scars. It would only upset her and I wouldn’t have that. She was upset enough, worrying about Kade.
“I’ll manage, thank you.” I whispered, smiling to reassure her.
Cole carried me into a large disabled restroom beside the waiting room and locked the door, then he put me down on the closed toilet and crouched before me.
“You’re not going to manage Brains.” He said with a comforting smile. As if to illustrate his point, I swayed forward, dizzy from sitting up. He caught me and held me steady.
“Sorry.” I whispered.
“Nothing to be sorry for. I’d be exhausted too if I had to drag Kade’s huge ass anywhere.” He laughed, “I’m going to do this for you ok?” I wanted to protest, to save him from the embarrassment of having to change me, and the horror of seeing my scars, but I didn’t because I knew I was too far gone to take care of myself, and because I knew if any of the guys could handle it all, It was my gentle Cole.
“Ok.” I uttered. “Thank you.”
Cole nodded and set to work removing my sweater first. He tossed it in the trash, then looked in the backpack, pulling out body wash and a washcloth. He kept one hand on me, holding me up while he filled the basin with warm water, then washed the blood from my hands and arms, and streaks I had wiped on my face when wiping away tears.
Next he took off my boots and soaked socks. Then my jeans, until I sat in nothing but my underwear and a camisole.
“This is soaked too, Beautiful. You ok with me taking it off?” He asked as he looked up to me with that gentle smile. He had a hold of the hem of my camisole and I knew it needed to come off. It was soaked and also stained with blood, Kade’s blood.
“Yeah, but…..just brace yourself ok? My scars…..they’re a mess.” I admitted.
“No part of you is a mess Olivia. These scars, they’re just proof
of the warrior I know you are.” He whispered as he carefully lifted my camisole and threw it too, into the trash.
I heard his sharp intake of breath when he saw my stomach and the countless marks across it.
“I’m so sorry you had to go through this baby.” He whispered, almost breathlessly. His hand slowly reached out, allowing me time to stop him, but I didn’t. Maybe it was the sincerity in his eyes or the soft tone of his voice when he said he was sorry. Maybe I just needed the contact. Maybe because the way he called me ’baby’ made my heart stutter. Whatever the reason I just sat and let his fingers run over my abdomen, following the deepest knife lines.
“You are beautiful Olivia Byrd, scars and all. Each one of these marks just reminds me how amazingly strong you are. My warrior.” He whispered. His lips touched my cheek, so gently, and it felt electric. Knowing he saw all of me, scars and all, and still wanted to kiss me, touch me. It meant so much and without overthinking it, I turned and put my lips over his before he pulled away from me. The kiss was brief and unexpected by both of us, but in the few seconds our lips touched something passed between us, something special.
“Sorry.” I whispered as I pulled away, realising what I had done. Just because he still accepted me, didn’t mean I could attack him. He wouldn’t be interested in me that way. He was this amazing, handsome guy and I was messed up, as messed up as people came. I didn’t even know if I wanted a relationship. Certainly if I had one, It couldn’t be normal, not after what I had been through. There was no way I could have sex, that was for sure. I was too damaged, too traumatised by The Shadow to let anyone touch me that way. I’d messed up kissing him and I knew it.
“No, it was my fault. I’m sorry.” Cole said quickly. “Let’s just get you changed ok?” When I dared to look up his smile was back in place and I decided if he could drop it, so could I.
He helped me into the jeans and hooded sweater Keira had packed for me, then I ran a brush through my matted hair and tied it back up. Cole put dry socks on my frozen feet and changed my soaked boots for dry Chucks.
I definitely felt better when we were done, but still frozen through, my teeth chattering. I wasn’t sure I would ever be warm again. The cold that had penetrated my bones was the cold that I knew so well, from The Darkness and I hated it. It had been reawoken within me that night and I didn’t think I would ever be able to get warm again.
Cole wrapped his arm around me and helped me shakily walk back to the waiting room. He led me into the seat between Kyle and Matt,
“Rest. I’ll get you some hot chocolate to warm you up. Ok?” He said softly and I nodded gratefully. Kyle took my hand, then sat forward and studied me hard.
“You’re freezing?” He said.
“I’m okay. I’ll warm up.” I told him through chattering teeth. He stood and pulled off his coat, then the sweater he wore over a henley. He gathered it up and slipped it over my head. Pulling my arms though as if I were a child. Still, I wasn’t complaining. I was too cold and tired to do that, and too grateful for the extra layer.
He wrapped his coat around my front like a blanket and wrapped an arm around my shoulders, pulling me into him and holding me close to his warm side.
“There’s no update yet Carina. You should rest for now.” Matt soothed as his hand took mine and held it tightly. I wanted to rest, really badly. I was exhausted and fighting just to keep my eyes open, but I couldn’t. It had been too long. What was going on? I was so worried something bad had happened to Kade, and I needed to be awake so I could know as soon as there was news. More than anything I needed to know Kade was going to be ok.
Cole returned a few minutes later with a vending machine hot chocolate, which I took a few sips of to warm me up, but it started to turn my anxious stomach and I left most of it and just snuggled against Kyle instead.
We were all quiet as the hours passed. The guys were desperate for me to rest, but I couldn’t. I was too worried. It was taking too damned long for news. I was sure I had done something to hurt Kade and make things worse when I moved him.
Finally, over four hours after we arrived at the hospital and late into the night, the door to the waiting room opened and Xander walked in looking exhausted.
“Son! Please tell me he’s ok?” Grant leapt to his feet as he spoke. Keira standing with him. I stood too, Kyle steadying me when I wobbled a little, then leading me over with the others.
“He’s ok.” Xander said with a nod. “He was causing us some worry at first, not waking up, but he came around about an hour ago and he’s fully responsive. The CAT scan was all good too. He has a nasty gash on his head, now closed with staples, one hell of a headache and a concussion, but he got off lightly. He’ll be fine in a few days.”
“Oh thank God. “ Keira cried, my thoughts exactly.
“Can we see him?” I asked, just needing to see those amber eyes myself to know it was true, that he would be alright.
“Just briefly. Then you’re coming with me so I can check you over. You’re way too pale and you look exhausted sweetheart.” Xander sighed.
“I am, but I’m ok. I’ll get some sleep once I know he’s alright.”
“We got her Xand. You look like you need to sleep too.” Kyle told him and he did. He had shadows under his eyes and his hair was wild, his shirt beneath his white coat rumpled.
“Yeah, I was off shift three hours ago.” He agreed.
“Go home. Simon will be worried, and you need rest. I’ll call you if anything changes. I’m going to stay with him tonight.” Kyle said.
“Me too.” I agreed.
“No way!” Matt declared
“Not happening.” Cole said at the same time.
“Please, can I just see him?” I pleaded, tears trying to escape once again. I pushed them back, not wanting anyone to see how close I was to breaking down. I just needed to see Kade, alive and moving. He had scared me so badly when he was unconscious.
“Yes, but just three at a time.” Xander said.
“Cole, Matt, you go with Olivia, then you can get her home while we stay with Kade for a while.” Keira suggested.
“Here, take Kade’s car home.” Kyle said as he handed Matt the keys. I pulled away from Kyle, wanting them to see I was stronger than I looked. I wasn’t, but I could pretend I was. Not showing my fear and weakness had been my own minor victory in The Darkness and so I had had plenty of practice at it.
“Come on then. I’ll take you to him, then head home.” Xander said as he walked to the door and held it open. I hurried through first, desperate to see Kade, and Cole and Matt followed.
“He’ll need to stay the night for observation because of the severity of his concussion, but if all’s well he’ll be released tomorrow.” Xander explained as we walked down the busy halls.
I was trying to look strong and brave, but I was so completely exhausted, that as soon as strangers started to pass me in the halls, I got panicky and jumpy. I fought to hide it as I darted around trying to avoid being touched, but it obviously failed, because within seconds I was surrounded by Cole and Matt on either side of me, shielding me from anyone touching, or even getting close to me. It was frustrating that they could read me so easily, but I was too grateful for the safety they provided to complain.
“He’s in here.” Xander said as he stopped at a door marked ‘Room 8’. “Don’t stay too long. The others will want to see him and he really needs to rest.”
“We won’t.” Cole agreed. “Get home Bro, and sleep. You look like crap.” He added with a pat on Xander’s shoulder.
Xander just nodded, agreeing. He briefly hugged me and patted Matt on the back, all in silence, then turned and walked away.
Matt opened the door to Kade’s room and motioned for me to go first. I took a tentative step inside, scared of what I would see, scared Kade would still be deathly pale and still, but as soon as I got up the courage to glance at the bed, I relaxed a little. Kade was sat up, dressed in a hospital gown and a bandage around his head, but h
e had colour and as soon as my eyes met his, he smiled.
“Kade.” I gasped as I hurried forward to his bedside.
“I’m good, Love. Calm down. I’m absolutely fine.” He said calmly, then he reached out and squeezed my hand tight in his.
“I was so sc-scared.” I whimpered as the tears I had been fighting back, burst forth.
“I know. I’m so sorry you had to deal with that. I never should have allowed it to happen.” He said, guilt clouding his face.
“It was an accident, Kade. Don’t be silly, there was n-nothing you could have done to stop it. I was just so w-worried I would lose you.”
“I’m not going anywhere, promise.”
“Xander tell you what happened?” Cole asked as he appeared behind me with a chair. He placed it down and gently pushed me into it. I went willingly, my legs shaking beneath me.
“Not really. I know Olivia called for help somehow.” He smiled across to me gratefully and I nodded. There was nothing I wouldn’t have done to try and save him.
“Yeah, she did, after she dragged your ass back to the car, lifted you into it and drove halfway home to find cell service.”
“Drove, having no clue how to, in a blizzard.” Matt added from where he stood opposite us.
“What? How the hell did you do that. I’m about ten times bigger than you for a start!” Kade gasped as he turned to me.
“Hardly!” I laughed. “You were heavy, but I didn’t have much choice. You woke enough to stand when I was getting you in the car. The place was deserted, and the cells wouldn’t work. I couldn’t just leave you there. It wasn’t as dramatic as they’re making it sound.” I shrugged, not wanting him to be mad at me for doing the wrong thing.
“You’re a friggin crazy woman, you know that, right?” Kade asked, incredulous.
“Yep.” I agreed with a nod. I did know that. I lost my mind sometime in The Darkness and it was never coming back, not fully. That much I had already come to terms with.
