Was he prepared now? There probably wasn’t a thing in it except a few small toys. The box wasn’t big enough for anything else.
Still, it was past time to see what his mother thought important enough to leave him. She certainly didn’t leave her love. Her lover at the time took precedence over a kid. Her son sure as hell wasn’t important enough to take with her. He rubbed his chest. Why did he want to see what was in that stupid box tonight?
But it had taken on an importance he couldn’t ignore. If he had to tear the house apart he’d find it.
Dirk started the search in his room, knowing before he started it wouldn’t be there, but a SEAL was thorough. He would search one room at a time.
An hour later, he opened the door to the closet in the guest bedroom, a room that had never been used. He had no relatives other than the family, so the bed had never been slept in. A second bedroom came in handy as a home office. The third held a few exercise essentials. This one was useless. But when he was drawing plans for the house, Shorty was adamant. “You’ll be glad for the space one day. When you marry and have children you’ll be happy you added that fourth bedroom.”
Like that would ever happen.
Then why was he trying to close the door to the past?
The answer was one he found difficult to answer.
There were no clothes on the rack in the guest bedroom closet; nothing on the shelves that he could see. It had to be here. His search through the rest of the house had been thorough. The top shelf was high and though he was six feet in his stocking feet, he had to stretch his right arm to the limit.
His fingers touched something and he pulled it forward.
And there it was.
His heart pounded.
When it plopped into his arm, he almost shoved it back. This was like tearing open an old wound. Dumb. Dumb. Dumb. What would he know once he opened the stupid box he didn’t know now?
He’d been ten when his mother left, yet the hurt crept back stronger than ever. He didn’t need a reminder that she didn’t love him.
Striding through the kitchen, he went to the garbage can in the garage. He’d dump the damned box and forget it. He was a grown man…a SEAL…a successful PI, and partner in a military dog training facility. He had a damned good life. He’d outgrown his need for closure. The past was the past, the future his to make.
He started back inside. His steps slowed. Coward? Be done with it.
Angry steps took him back. With the box in hand, he stormed to the kitchen and sat at the table.
Ten minutes later, he was still staring at the old shoebox. How could something so inconsequential take on bigger-than-life confusion? Dirk wanted it to go away—wished it had never been. But no amount of wishful thinking made it disappear.
It was time.
After so many years, the tape had become brittle. It took little effort to pull the top off.
As his heart did the two-step, he took the items out one at a time. His favorite baseball, a six-inch toy pickup he’d loved when he was five, a picture of him and his mom taken by her last lover a few weeks before she abandoned him. Though he remembered when it was taken, he’d never seen it until now. He held it up, his fingers none too steady. Wide blue eyes, identical to his, looked at him. The smile on her face didn’t match the look in her eyes. Was it regret? Or was it an I-can’t-wait-to-get-out-of-here look?
He put it down to search the rest. There were all of his report cards from kindergarten until she left and an envelope.
His hand shaking like a metronome, he opened it. A letter fell out.
Did he want to read it? Did he want to hear her excuse? He didn’t. So he pushed it aside and went to get a glass of water to ease his parched throat.
This was worse than the war. He couldn’t stop when the fighting got heavy and he couldn’t stop now.
He opened the sheet of paper.
A glance told him it wasn’t long.
He read:
My darling son,
I can’t tell you how penning this letter hurts. I never thought my life would come to this. But it has and nothing can change it. First, I want to apologize for leaving you so often with the Brownings to run off with either a new husband or a lover. But you seem so happy there it eased my conscience. I think I was trying to run away from the fact that I wasn’t capable of giving you what I wanted to. A nicer home. A family. The Brownings did that and I’ll be forever grateful.
We could have gone on like that for years.
But I don’t have years.
I have cancer. And I am dying. Jerry wants to take care of me. He has a good job offer in Florida. He wants to take it, and he wants me to come with him. He has promised to get me a good oncologist and take care of me until the end.
I believe him. He’s a good man.
If you come with me, what will happen to you when I’m gone? I don’t think you would be happy with Jerry. But you are with the Brownings.
My biggest wish is for you to have a happy life and to know how much I love you.
If things were different…
But they’re not.
I love you more than I can say. You’re a good boy and will make a fine man. Someday, you’ll meet a woman you can love forever, and have children of your own. You’ll live the life I wanted for you and couldn’t provide.
I have to go now, Dirk. Jerry is waiting.
You are the light of my life.
I will love you into eternity.
Mom
The letter fell from Dirk’s hand.
He couldn’t breathe. His body was a frozen mass of flesh and bone. Was he having a heart attack?
He reached for his cell phone and sent a text to his brothers. Can you come? He rubbed his chest, took a sip of water. Did he need an aspirin like the doctors suggested if you suspect a heart attack? He was tougher than this. He pulled himself up straight and took deep breaths.
Better.
It seemed like hours, but it was only minutes until Coop and Matt burst through the door, their faces wreathed in concern. “What’s wrong?”
They took a chair on each side of Dirk. “You’re as white as a ghost. What happened?” Coop demanded an answer.
“I’m going to call 911.” From Matt—the steady one in a crisis.
Dirk took another sip of water. He pointed to the letter.
They read it quickly.
“I remember when Shorty handed you this box the day your mom left. Is this the first time you’ve opened it?”
Dirk nodded. Feeling was coming back. He could almost breathe again.
“Your color is better. I still think we should get you to the ER.”
“I’ll be fine, Matt. It was the shock. I should have opened this box years ago. Maybe then, I wouldn’t have felt so unwanted and unloved.”
“Your dad was out of the picture by then, wasn’t he?” Matt asked.
“For years. I don’t remember him.”
“Your mom loved you enough to give you up so you would have a good life. It was a courageous thing to do.”
“I know that now, Coop.”
Matt refilled Dirk’s glass. “You’re tough like her.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Look at you. You fought in a war and lost half an arm, but it didn’t stop you. You have two successful businesses and nothing keeps you from doing whatever you want.”
“Anybody would do the same.”
“You’re wrong. Some come back injured and give up. Not you. You inherited that toughness from someone. It had to be your mom.”
Dirk smiled. “Look at this.” He handed them the picture of him and his mom.
“You have her eyes,” Matt said.
“Funny, she looks happy and sad at the same time.”
“That’s what I thought when I first saw it.”
The brothers talked until Dirk was almost back to himself.
“I’m staying. Does your guest room have linens?”
“I’m stay
ing as well,” Matt said. “I’ll take the couch.”
“Go home. You’ve done enough.”
But Coop was already on his cell. “I’m staying at Dirk’s tonight. I’ll explain in the a.m. Love you.” He hung up.
“Lots easier being a bachelor.” Matt chuckled. “We don’t have to check in. Right, Dirk?”
Dirk wasn’t so sure. After handing his brothers enough linens, he gathered the contents of the box, crammed them back inside, and went to his bedroom. His head whirled with the realization that for all these years, he’d been wrong.
****
Sky couldn’t sleep so she worked on her computer trying again to trace the money, but it proved too frustrating. She pulled out a sheet of paper and started writing. “I’ll make a solid list of what we know about Martin’s murder, the suspects, and the evidence against Dory,” she told Sully. “Maybe the picture will be clearer.”
Sully growled low.
Sky smiled. She loved this dog and vowed to keep him.
It didn’t take long. Goodness knows they didn’t have much. Though both Steel and Cherise had the means and the opportunity to move the money, it didn’t mean they had killed Martin to do so.
Who else?
Only Dory. But Dory didn’t trash Sky’s apartment and she didn’t leave the threatening note. So who did?
It was possible Cherise or Steel was responsible, but how would they ever prove it?
Sky rubbed her head. It was enough to give her a headache.
Sully went to the door and growled. It wasn’t a growl to warn her of another presence. It was an I-need-to-go-outside growl.
Amazing how fast she’d adapted to Sully and he to her.
She opened the door and he shot past her. Not a minute too soon, it seemed. It was a beautiful night. The sky was a dark blanket of twinkling lights. She’d never seen so many stars. She inhaled deeply.
Sky never thought she’d enjoy open spaces or a dog. Amazing.
Sully, finished with his business, came on the porch. “Ready?” He gave a sharp bark.
Her gaze went to Dirk’s house. It was late. Was he asleep? He worked long, hard hours. All the brothers seemed to be workaholics. But the lights were still on. Coop’s pickup and Matt’s SUV were in the drive. The driver’s door on the pickup was open, the overhead light sending dull shadows on the driveway.
Had something happened?
The brothers had been at dinner only a few short hours ago. What had happened since then?
Maybe Coop simply forgot to close the door.
She walked over to the truck and shut it, Sully right behind her. He gave a sharp bark and ran into the shadows. “Sully!”
Sully ignored her. “Hier.” Come. Which he did. She bent to chastise him when a voice startled her. “What are you doing out so late?”
She hadn’t expected to see Dirk or anyone else. When she found her voice, she answered, “Sully wanted out. What are you doing out here? I thought you’d be asleep by now.”
“Couldn’t sleep.”
“It’s a lovely night.”
“Not as lovely as you.”
Sky’s heart stilled. No one called her lovely. No one. Was this his standard woo-them line?
“That isn’t necessary.”
“It’s the truth. You’re a smart and pretty woman, why can’t I admire that?”
He came closer. His broad shoulders looming even larger in the semi-darkness.
She took a step back, but he came closer still.
“Are Coop and Matt inside?”
“Yes.”
Her mouth went dry and she could barely talk. “The lights were on in Coop’s truck. I came over to shut the door.”
“I’m glad you did.”
“Why?” Why was she so nervous? Why did her heart feel as if it were going to leap out of her chest? Why didn’t she just turn and go back to the bungalow?
He was close enough to touch and she wanted to touch him. She clasped her hands to stop the action. She should leave, but her feet wouldn’t move. Her heart wouldn’t calm.
Dirk took her arm, trailed his hand up it, leaving goose bumps behind. Was she trembling from his touch? This wasn’t like her at all.
Move!
She started to turn when he pulled her close. “Don’t.” She wanted to shout the word, but it came out a mere whisper.
“Your lips have taunted me since the first day we met.”
He was so close that even in the semi-darkness his eyes were blue fire. Then his lips touched hers. It was like being struck by lightning. Her brain shut down. She couldn’t think.
His lips were tentative at first—soft and firm at the same time. Wonderful. Her lips moved under his and the kiss deepened.
She lost herself. No man had ever affected her this way. No matter the situation, she always maintained her sense of being. Not now. Her thoughts were as scattered as the leaves under her feet.
Her arms went around his neck. Though he had only half a left arm, it held her as close as the other.
Sinking into one erotic sensation after another, she thought she might melt on the spot.
All men are like this.
Her eyes popped open. She pulled away, gasping for breath. What was she doing? Exactly what she’d promised herself she would never do. Fall for a good-looking man she couldn’t trust. Pushing that solid chest as hard as she could, she managed to break free.
“What’s wrong?” He tried to take her back into his arms.
Anger rose, washing over her in waves of disappointment. “I don’t know. I just know I can’t handle your sweet-talk. I don’t want you in my personal life so you can leave when you get tired of me—screw other women—make everyone in your life miserable.”
She turned and ran.
“Wait!”
But Sky didn’t hear. With Sully on her heels she ran into the bungalow and slammed the door. Making sure it was locked she went to her bed and fell across it.
Tears, hot and heavy, fell angrily on her cheeks.
Her dad had told her mother for years that his affairs meant nothing. Just as Martin told Dory.
They were wrong.
Their selfish actions meant more than they knew to the women who loved them.
She would never follow them down that road to hell.
But Dirk’s kiss had been explosive: her arousal instantaneous. For a minute there, she had lost herself. All her life she’d been so careful—so guarded. She’d told herself a thousand times she would never be like her mother and her sister, when all along she was just like them.
It was a long time before exhaustion sent her into sleep.
Chapter Fifteen
Stunned, Dirk stood in the darkness and watched Sky run back to the bungalow. What the hell had he said to bring that on? Certainly it wasn’t enough to warrant such an outburst. His head whirled at the words. Screw other women? Make life miserable for everyone?
She wasn’t talking about him. There was no reason to.
Who had hurt her? A lover? Husband? Had she been married? Someone had hurt her badly and the thought made him sad.
He wanted to go after her…tell her he wasn’t the person she described. Never had been. Even during his early dating days he’d dated one woman at a time. True, no one lasted very long, but he wasn’t promiscuous. And he didn’t leave them hating him. He’d hurt June’s feelings when he broke off their relationship, but he did it for a good reason. He’d been injured badly and didn’t want her to feel obligated to stay with him.
Not true. He’d realized in Afghanistan even before the firefight that ended his career in the Navy that June wasn’t the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.
Why had he started this with Sky? He knew better. Clients were off-limits. Then again, how could he resist? She looked like a goddess in the moonlight. Which was no excuse. He hadn’t made a pass at a woman in a very long time and when he finally did, he’d screwed up.
Most women looked at him with pity. O
thers, he found, wanted to bed him to see what it would be like to make love to a cripple.
Yes, he knew what they were thinking. They didn’t have to say a word.
Sky was different. Maybe that’s why he’d felt an attraction from the first day. But he’d crossed the line tonight and it didn’t sit well. He ran a hand through his close-cropped hair.
“What are you doing out here?”
Dirk whirled around at the sound of Matt’s voice. His brothers should have gone home. He wasn’t accustomed to having someone in his house at night. “Couldn’t sleep.”
“You’ll be sorry tomorrow.”
Dirk followed Matt inside. “By the way, bro, sexy boxers. I’ll bet the ladies love them.”
“Jealous?”
Dirk chuckled.
“Don’t get up again. I have a full schedule tomorrow and need my sleep.”
“If you’d gone home like I told you, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”
“Good night, Dirk.”
Dirk slapped Matt on the back and went to his room.
Lying in bed, he thought of Sky and the kiss that had rocked his soul. What was it about her?
He was still wondering when he fell asleep.
The smell of coffee brought him to his feet. “What the hell?” Then he remembered. Coop and Matt. They hadn’t left, because they cared for him. His heart swelled. His mom had done the right thing. He had family who loved him. If not for her loving gift he had no idea where or what he’d be now.
After pulling on jeans and a T-shirt he went to the kitchen. “Where’s Coop?”
“Where do you think?” Matt’s voice was gravelly with sleep.
“I’m running late and I have training this morning. When did Coop leave?”
“An hour ago. Do you have anything around here to eat?”
“Cereal. Help yourself.” And he was out the door.
Coop was on the field, Lanie at the exercise pen. Dirk felt like a slacker. He let Thunder out and headed for the training field. Lanie raised an arm in greeting. Coop frowned. “About time.”
Dirk gave him the finger. Coop laughed. “After Ajax, we’re finished.”
“I need to sleep in more often. Have you seen Sky?”
Wounded at Home Page 12
