“She didn’t need to say much, to be honest. The fact that she rushed over here like she did made it pretty clear how much she thinks of you.” Charlotte shifted, snuggling against Guy even more. “I’ve been trying to figure out why you’re here, why you’re doing all of this for me, since we met. It seems like some kind of bizarre fantasy, and I keep waiting for it to all fall apart. It was hard to imagine everyone else wasn’t doing the same thing. I mean, I didn’t understand why this amazing man would want to tie himself to some sick, single mom, so why would your friends?”
Charlotte turned her face into his chest. He felt her tears soaking into his shirt, but only held her gently without comment. Sniffling, Charlotte continued. “You never told me that when you and Carmody met, she was single, but you two never dated.”
“You thought Carmody was an ex-girlfriend?” Guy asked.
She looked embarrassed by the admission, but nodded anyway. It added a layer of understanding to why Charlotte was so resistant to him asking Carmody for help, but did not explain her hesitance toward his other friends.
“You also never told me that when Carmody went into labor with Lily, you were the one to drive her to the hospital because Michael got stuck in traffic and couldn’t get back to the house in time. Or that you stayed with her through the delivery until Michael got there. Or that you’re Lily’s godfather.”
Guy could only shrug at her words. “It was never something that came up in conversation.” He was perplexed, not sure if she was upset at him having left such details out or not. “Should I have told you these things?”
Smiling, Charlotte shook her head. “No. I only mentioned them because everything Carmody told me made me realize that I’ve been unfair to you. I’ve let you into my life and accepted your help because I was scared to face this alone, but I never took the time to get to know you well enough to trust the help you were offering. I never gave your friends a chance, either.” Charlotte looked down at her hands. “I never even asked about your friend, Leila, and whether she found out if she was really pregnant or not.”
Guy tipped Charlotte’s chin up, encouraging her to meet his gaze. “Oui, she is pregnant. She and Eli will welcome their first child into the world next fall.”
“I’m glad to hear that. She really did seem like a nice person.” Charlotte was quiet for a moment before saying, “I understand now why you’re here.”
“You do?” Guy asked. In truth, he had not understood why himself for much too long. Charlotte had affected him like no other woman. She had made him feel safe enough to cast off his public persona and let her see who he really was. He did not know how she managed it, but he knew he wanted to be with her.
Charlotte nodded in answer to his question, but said nothing.
“You intend to keep it a secret?” Guy asked, pinning her with a mockingly serious glare.
“Shouldn’t you already know?” Charlotte teased.
Guy grinned at her. “I do know, but I am not convinced you know. I think you should tell me so I can be sure.” He leaned toward her and placed a light kiss on her lips. Her body relaxed in his arms, but only for a moment. Guy kissed her again, his lips leaving hers a second later, trailing across her jawline to her ear. Charlotte’s fingers tightened around his arm as his breath washed over her skin. “Tell me,” he whispered.
She shook her head, egging him on. Guy was happy to comply. Rolling gently, he pinned Charlotte beneath his body. His hands cradled her head as he gazed at her. The chemo was taking its toll, weakening her, but he still thought her beautiful. His hand slid down her neck, over her shoulders, and all the way down her torso to her hips. She gasped when Guy’s lips brushed against the exposed skin of her stomach. Fingers curling around the bed sheets, she held perfectly still.
He watched her stomach muscles tighten as he leaned closer, his warm breath alerting her to his impending touch. When his lips met her skin again, she arched up, begging him not to stop. Guy kissed his way up her abdomen. Every subtle sound of pleasure she made burned into him. His hands struggled to be gentle as he pushed her t-shirt out of his way. His mouth hovered at the base of her sternum. He dipped down, kissing her and eliciting a soft moan, but did not go any higher. He knew if he did, stopping himself would be nearly impossible.
Refocusing his physical desires to his original question, Guy forced himself back up to her ear. Charlotte’s fingernails nipped at his back as she tried to pull him closer. He hovered just above her and whispered, “Tell me.”
She shook her head, teasing, and just a little fear in her eyes.
Guy pressed his lips to hers, nearly losing himself in exquisite pleasure. When he tried to pull back, Charlotte’s hands refused to let him go. She kissed him hungrily. The space that had separated them seconds before was gone, but Guy held onto his objective…barely.
“Tell me,” he said, but Charlotte still refused. She tried to distract him with a kiss, but Guy would not allow it. “Tell me.”
Her efforts at teasing faded, the hint of doubt that had been there a few moments before vanished as well. “You’re still here despite everything, because…because you love me. Right?”
“Oui, ma chérie,” Guy said softly. He kissed each of her cheeks, slowly, taking his time, just as he did the first time she had teased him. “Je t'aime beaucoup. I love you more than you understand.”
“Do you really?”
“Is that difficult to believe?” Guy asked, smiling.
Charlotte laughed wryly. “With how often you’ve had to hold my hair back while I puked, and then had to clean up after me, with all the ways I’ve made things difficult and not trusted you and pushed you and your friends away…yeah, kind of.” She shook her head, looking regretful and embarrassed.
“I do love you, Charlotte, but I am also worried about you. Things cannot continue on as they have been,” Guy said seriously. “You are wearing yourself out trying to work so much.”
“So are you.”
Guy held up a hand. “I must only survive one more week. You are determined to continue this pace through your whole treatment.”
“Why only another week? “Charlotte asked.
“My friend, Leo, has agreed to take over my shifts at the hospital while I take a leave of absence, but he could not leave the practice where he was working until the end of the week.”
Charlotte blinked in surprise. “He’s leaving his job to cover for you?”
“Leo has been unhappy with his job for quite some time. He was ready to try something new. I think it will be a good fit for him.” Charlotte tried to say more about it, but Guy would not let her get distracted. “Charlotte, you must not work so much. It is too stressful for you, and your immune system is already weakened.”
She looked like she wanted to argue, but her resistance crumpled. “I know.” She shrugged helplessly. “I don’t know what to do, though. I have vacation and sick leave saved up, but it may not be enough. I can’t lose my insurance coverage, and I still have bills to pay.”
“Why don’t we speak with your employer and see if we can’t work something out? Maybe work from home, at least? He is a good man, yes?” Charlotte nodded and Guy continued. “I will make sure you are taken care of, Charlotte. Please trust me on this.”
Sighing, Charlotte waged an internal battle. “I know you mean what you say, but it’s not easy for me to rely on someone else. I’ve been on my own for so long, barely keeping everything from falling apart. Letting someone else take charge is terrifying. What if it doesn’t work? What if I depend on you only to have you leave? What would I do then?”
Guy shook his head slowly. “I am not leaving, Charlotte. If I have not given up on trying to make Carmody fluent in French, I will not give up on you and Warren.” He smiled when Charlotte chuckled at his teasing. “I know it is difficult to trust, but I am asking for you to have faith in me. I do not make sacrifices for people unless I truly care about them. I am willing to sacrifice much for you, ma chérie.”
“I know you are, Guy,” Charlotte said softly. “I do trust you. It’s hard to let go of my fears, but Carmody is right. I can’t be afraid forever. I have faith in you, in us, and I’m not going to turn away your friends anymore. I don’t know what to do about work, but I’m at least ready to admit we can’t keep doing this without help.”
A knock on the front door pulled them both out of their thoughts. Carmody answered the door, and soon after, Michael’s voice resounded through the apartment. Charlotte instantly tensed, but Guy soothed her. She leaned on him as he guided her out of Warren’s room and into the kitchen where Michael was unpacking paper bags full of groceries. His warm, easygoing personality drew Charlotte and Warren in quickly. Warren was particularly happy about being served a meal that was not burnt.
Both Guy and Charlotte knew their conversation would need to continue, but it was left alone as they ate dinner and enjoyed the company of friends. Even after dinner, the topic of conversation turned to Carmody and Michael’s upcoming trip to France. It had been pushed back a few weeks due to Michel’s work schedule and their concern for Guy and Charlotte, but the plans had now been set, and both were excited for their trip.
“Speaking of such,” Guy said, “my travel agent sent me the final itinerary yesterday. I had meant to bring it by this morning, but…” Everyone laughed when Warren dipped his head in embarrassment. Guy ruffled his hair before standing and retrieving the plans from his attaché. He set the folder down in front of Carmody and Michael, who opened it eagerly.
Charlotte watched with a smile as they dug through the plans excitedly. Michael was thrilled that there was not one, but two winery tours on the schedule. Carmody loved the idea of a guided tour through Paris and thanked Guy for scheduling several art museums, even if Michael did not look nearly as enthusiastic. Guy reveled in their happiness. When Carmody commented that she did not know how he managed to include so much on their budget, he did not have any trouble telling them that the five thousand dollars they had allotted for the trip was plenty because he had such good connections.
They seemed reluctant to leave when the time came, but both Charlotte and the children had begun to run out of strength, so everyone said their goodbyes. “Now, I’ll be over tomorrow around ten,” Carmody said to Charlotte, who surprised Guy by nodding with a smile. “Lily goes to preschool then, so I’ll be able to help with whatever you need me to and Guy can get some sleep without worrying about you.”
“Thank you,” Charlotte said. There was still some lingering uncertainty in her voice, but Guy appreciated that she was putting her trust in him and his friends. Once the door was closed and they were on their way, Charlotte turned to Guy with a knowing expression. “How much did that trip really cost?”
He saw no point in lying to Charlotte about it, so he said, “Closer to twelve thousand than five.”
Charlotte did not seem surprised. He could tell she was exhausted, but when she pulled against him, he wrapped her up tightly. “You never told me what you’d like Warren to call you,” Charlotte said.
Earlier, when she said Warren’s choice was all right with her, Guy had doubted her words. He still worried it would be more difficult for her than she pretended, but he knew now that it was genuine. “If Warren wants to call me Papa Guy, I have no problem with that.”
Charlotte pulled back and looked up at him. “But do you want him to?” she questioned. “I know I kind of sprung him on you in the beginning, and we haven’t really discussed kids outside of babysitting Lily. If you’re not comfortable with him calling you that, please just say so. It’s okay.”
It meant a great deal to Guy that Charlotte was more concerned about his feelings on the matter than she was about hers in that moment. Guy slid his hands around Charlotte’s waist and pulled her back in. “It would make me very happy to have Warren call me papa.”
Instead of hurt or fear, Charlotte’s expression showed only happiness. She allowed Guy to lead her back to her bedroom, but before he could leave to check on Warren, she took his hand and pulled him back. “Guy,” she said softly, “I love you, too.”
Chapter 26
Éléphants Roses
“Are you sure you’re okay with this?” Carmody asked for the millionth time.
Guy took Lily’s bags from Michael with a shake of his head. “Both of you, stop worrying. I have told you many times that we are happy to have Lily stay with us while you are gone. It will be a welcomed break for all of us.”
All three adults turned at the sound of delighted squealing. Warren and Lily were attacking each other with hugs as Charlotte sat on the couch chuckling at them. The weekends were Guy’s favorite time of the week. He had taken a leave of absence from the hospital, so it was not the lack of work that made the days something to look forward to, since he still had date shark clients to meet with on Saturdays. It was how Charlotte felt.
The chemo was still difficult for her, and it took several days for her to recover, but by the end of the week she usually felt much better and had her energy back. He loved seeing her more active and able to enjoy being with the family.
“My parents will be here to pick Lily up Monday night,” Michael said, the smile slipping from his mouth.
Guy and Charlotte had offered to keep Lily the whole week, but they all knew how severe Charlotte’s reaction to chemo usually was, and Carmody and Michael refused to make those difficult days even worse. On some level, Guy had been relieved when they said Michael’s parents would keep Lily the rest of the week. He was slowly learning how to be a father to Warren and a good boyfriend to Charlotte, but he wasn’t sure how well he would do with taking care of two small children and Charlotte at the same time.
“We will be fine until Monday. You two are not going to make your flight if you don’t leave now.”
Both looked anxious still, but began saying their goodbyes. A few minutes later, they were on their way and excited cries for the zoo began ringing out from both children. Even though it was Friday morning, Charlotte had taken the day off work and Warren had been allowed to miss school. Lily had a full list of fun things she had requested they all do together, and the zoo was at the top of her list. Warren had begged for the natural history museum to be their first stop, so he could see the dinosaur bones, but had given in when Charlotte reminded him it would be polite to let his guest choose.
“Guy, Guy, Guy! Zoo time!” Lily squealed. Warren joined the chanting, too.
“How about breakfast first?”
They both yelled, “No!” at the same time, bursting into giggles immediately after. Even Charlotte laughed.
“I was not offering to cook,” Guy said with a shake of his head. “I thought we could go out to breakfast.”
Cheers erupted from Warren and Lily, and they scurried off to get their shoes and jackets. Charlotte remained behind to comfort Guy. She wrapped her arms around him and kissed him playfully. “They’re just teasing you, you know? Your cooking isn’t that bad anymore. It’s been almost a week since you burned anything.”
Guy laughed. His cooking was still mediocre at best. Charlotte had even given in on a few occasions and let Guy order in when his cooking attempts failed too miserably to be revived. “I am trying to get better, I am, but…”
Kissing him stopped his words. Charlotte smiled when she pulled back. “Guy, you are already more than I deserve. I’ll take loving and compassionate and a wonderful father over gourmet meals every day. You’re perfect.” She kissed him again, this time more slowly. When she pulled back, he was reluctant to let her go. She pressed her palm to his cheek and said, “Come on, we have two hungry little monsters who can’t wait to see the monkeys and elephants.”
“Elephants?” Guy’s expression twisted. “We will see how far we get.”
Charlotte gave him a questioning look, but the return of the rowdy, ravenous little ones broke them apart and dragged them out of the apartment. An hour later, after the kids inhaled their waffles at the diner, they were standing in line to ge
t tickets for the zoo. Lily could barely contain her excitement to see the monkeys and giraffes. Warren, on the other hand, was still wishing they were on their way to see dinosaurs.
By the time they finally made it through the line and into the main courtyard of the zoo, both kids were ready to run wild. Guy quickly realized that Charlotte would be worn out before they made it through the first section if Warren kept yanking on her and trying to get her to hurry. Letting go of Charlotte’s hand, he bent down and wrangled both Warren and Lily into his arms.
“We must make a deal. You are both listening, yes?”
Two little heads bobbed up and down.
“Both of you must stay with us and not run ahead.” He turned to face Warren. “Mommy gets tired very easy, yes?” He paused, waiting for Warren’s nod. Lily nodded as well. “If we have to chase you around the zoo, Mommy will get tired too quickly and we will have to go home. If you want to see the butterflies after this, you must stay close and be good listeners. You understand, oui?”
Again, both heads nodded up and down eagerly. “We won’t run around, we promise,” Warren said.
“Yep, yep,” Lily agreed, her head bobbing uncontrollably.
“Then let us go see the monkeys,” Guy said, which caused them both to cheer.
He stood up and took Lily’s hand while Warren took Charlotte’s. They both began tugging them in the direction of the exhibits and Guy found himself smiling at their enthusiasm.
As they were pulled across the courtyard, Charlotte leaned over to him and said, “Can I just say that you referring to me as Mommy is about the most adorable thing ever.”
A blush spread through Guy’s face, which only made Charlotte smile even wider. He ducked his head in embarrassment. Lily still called Carmody Mommy all the time, and Warren varied between calling Charlotte Mommy and trying to sound more grownup by calling her Mom. Guy wasn’t sure when the two had rubbed off on him so much, but he could not rein in his embarrassment. Never had he pictured himself talking in such a way.
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