by Webster, K
“Lie back,” I order, my voice raw with need. “I’m going to eat that pussy you so selfishly denied me last night.”
Her brow lifts as though she wants to challenge me, but then she gives in by letting her thighs part. I lick my lips as I appreciate the way her pussy glistens with her arousal. Leaning forward, I kiss her supple lips and then the middle of her chest. I trail soft kisses down to her belly button and nip at the flesh there. She gasps. I’m smirking when I look back up at her. I run my tongue down her lower stomach until I come to her smooth pussy. Kiss. Kiss. Kiss. I press small pecks to her clit over her pussy lips that has her spreading her trembling thighs even more as if to give me a peek at it hiding inside. I run my tongue up from her hole to her clit and she cries out, her back arching up in pleasure.
Feeling bolder, I start lapping at her essence I’ve missed so much. Her cunt always tastes so sweet. Like my little baker rubs some sugar between her thighs just for me. I realize I’m devouring her. Nipping and sucking. Licking and teasing.
“So beautiful,” I whisper against her cunt before sucking her clit hard.
She thrashes against the covers as her orgasm hits violently. I haven’t seen her lose control like this in at least a year. It’s fucking breathtaking to watch.
Before she comes down from her high, I prowl up her body and tease her opening that’s slick with her arousal with the tip of my dick. She hisses as I start pushing into her tight body.
“I hate condoms,” she says, pouting. “I want to feel you.”
I chuckle against her mouth and suck on her bottom lip. “Not today. Today you get fucked with a rubber.”
She screams when I slam into her hard. Her nails rake over my flesh as I thrust into her. Our teeth clash together as we kiss in desperation. So close. We were so close to losing it all. All we needed was a fix. A little glue. Good as new.
I fuck her right into another orgasm and then I’m groaning out my own release. She’s right. It does suck having to use the condom but at least she was here with me. We did this together.
With his help.
Aiden.
As if her thoughts mirror mine, she stares at me with her brows furrowing.
“Are we using him?” she whispers. “Is this wrong?”
“I don’t know.”
“Will you check on him?” she asks. “Make sure he’s okay that…”
That I fucked her.
I want to roll my eyes at how stupid this sounds. My wife wants to make sure her would-be lover doesn’t have his feelings hurt that she fucked her husband instead. And damned if I’m not pulling out of her and depositing the condom in the trash because I want to make sure he’s okay too. He’s every bit mine as he is hers. What we just did to him wasn’t fair. I hope he understands.
“I’ll be right back,” I assure her as I tug on my sweats.
She nods and I slip out of our room. The lights have been turned off and I find Aiden stretched out on the couch.
“You okay?” I ask, my voice soft.
“I have to be.” His words aren’t bitter, just resigned.
“I’m sorry,” I utter. “For this afternoon. For tonight. For everything.”
“If it brought you two back together, it was worth it. Now go keep your wife warm before I do,” he teases. His words are meant to joke, but I can hear his heart breaking from here.
Fuck.
“I’m sorry.” I say it again, but this time I don’t wait for a response. For the first time in months, I sleep in my own bed. With my wife. And we spend the whole night fucking like teenagers who don’t want to get pregnant.
“What’s going on?” Stephanie whispers, leaning in from beside me on the pew.
I glance up at my brother’s stunning fiancée. Silky blond hair. Bright blue eyes. Gorgeous as all hell. You’d never guess she’s as old as my dad. Steph and her daughter Lacy could be sisters rather than mother and daughter.
“Nothing,” I tell her, forcing a smile.
She frowns, not believing me for a second. “We’ll talk after church.”
I turn my attention back to Easton McAvoy. The most badass looking preacher I’ve ever seen. He’s an ex-con slash biker turned man of God. And my brother’s soon-to-be son-in-law. I bite back a snort of laughter. As if clued into my thoughts, Anthony shoots me a warning glare from the other side of Steph.
Easton goes on and on, but I’m not really listening. It’s been a little over a week since I helped Vaughn and Vale get back together. She smiles more. He’s less grumpy. Clearly they’re making some progress. I’ve slowly backed away. I still check out her ass when she pulls baked goods out of the oven or linger my stare on her smile. And with Vaughn, I find myself inhaling his unique scent whenever he’s near or trying to will my dick not to burst through my jeans any time his hard brown eyes are on mine. It’s fucked up. I want them both, equally so, but they’re married. I’d be a shitty human if I tried to get into the middle of that.
Which is why I took up Steph’s ongoing offer to go with them to church. Maybe Easton can help guide me through this shit. When the service ends, I find Easton’s questioning stare on me.
“Need to talk?” he mouths as he shakes someone’s hand.
I give him a clipped nod and he makes a motion to his office. I try to make it past Stephanie, but she steals a hug from me. She smells good and I don’t push away the affection.
“Whatever is going on will work itself out,” she tells me, squeezing me.
“Yeah, I know.”
But I don’t know. Am I always destined to be a third wheel? Always caught somewhere between this and that? Never deciding between being with a man or a woman? I can’t figure out my life or make sense out of it. Sometimes I wish Dad were cool and would give me proper advice.
Pulling away from Steph, I ruffle Lacy’s hair, earning a groan as I pass, and then shuffle past people in Easton’s congregation. He and Lacy are the poster children for a good, wholesome God-fearing family. Aside from the rumor they were caught fucking in the church. Pastor McAvoy would never do something so devious. I’m sure it was all lies.
I escape the suffocating crowd and hide out in Easton’s simple office. Pictures of his wife and son are everywhere and it makes me feel at home. My phone buzzes and I look to see a text from Vaughn.
Vaughn: Don’t forget you have a test tomorrow. Did you even study?
I narrow my eyes at the text. I want to ask him if he wants to help me study but then determine I’d be an asshole tempting him into something he’s trying desperately to avoid.
Me: Got it.
The dots move and then stop. Move and then stop.
Vaughn: Want any help?
I sit up and frown, typing out my reply.
Me: Everything okay with you and Vale?
Vaughn: We’re fine.
I roll my eyes, imagining his icy, clipped response. I text her instead.
Me: Everything okay with you and Vaughn?
The dots move and then stop. Then I get a thumbs-up emoji.
Me: Vale…
Vale: We’re fine.
Anxiety bubbles up inside me. They are not fine. Before I can respond to either, the office door opens and Easton strides in. He’s dressed like a normal preacher with his black slacks and white button-down shirt. Aside from that, he’s a total biker dude. Tattoos cover his forearms and backs of his hands. Some even peek up past his collar. He’s a badass for sure.
“Aiden Blakely,” he says, grinning as he shakes my hand. “Haven’t seen you for dinner at Steph’s in a while. College kicking your butt?”
“I have a tough professor.” A grin tugs at my lips.
His brow arches and he smirks. “Guy or girl professor?”
My sexual proclivities have somehow been rumored down to Easton. These people are so fucking gossipy sometimes. “Male,” I grunt. I watch his face for a reaction and find none. “Are you going to preach how it’s a sin to lie with a man and that I’ll get sent straight to hell?”<
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He rolls his eyes. “You’ve been watching too many movies, man.”
“So if I told you I fuck dudes, you’re not going to shun me from your church?”
“I’ll smack you in the head if you keep cursing, but no, I’m not going to shun you.” He shakes his head in disbelief. “I teach love.”
I close my eyes and pinch the bridge of my nose, exhaling. “What if you love the wrong people?”
“I just told you, The Lord preaches love. Unconditional love at that. How are people supposed to love unconditionally if they are judging others for whom they love? They can’t. So love is love and that’s what God wants.”
I can tell he’s about to get on a tangent and make me highlight shit in a Bible, so I stop him with my hand held up. “Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.”
He snorts. “I’m a preacher, not a priest. We don’t do confession here. What the hell is going on with you, man?”
Our eyes meet and concern flashes in his.
“My professor is married.” I close my eyes. “To my boss. And I want them both.” When I open my eyes again, he’s frowning. So much for no judgment.
“You can’t get involved in that, Aiden. That’s coming from man to man.”
“Because it’s a sin,” I huff out.
“Because it’s wrong to get in the middle of someone’s marriage.”
“They’re falling apart,” I mutter weakly.
“And you think having an affair with you will hold them together?” As soon as he realizes that was exactly my hope, his expression softens. “What do you want me to say? That it’s okay? You know I won’t say that.”
I grit my teeth. “I just want to know how to deal with this shit inside my head. In my heart. I want them, but I want them to be happy. They’re trying, but…”
His brows crinkle together. “But?”
“But they’re failing.”
He sighs. “You could give them my number. I counsel people sometimes. I’m not licensed, but I do it in a biblical sense. I’d be happy to guide them down the right path.”
“The path that leads away from me,” I say bitterly.
“If they’re as fragile as you say they are, do you want to be the final wedge between them? Because that’s what would happen. Jealousy would find its way inside the relationship. It might start out fun at first, but then three would become two. Someone would get hurt. Do you want to be the one responsible for that hurt, Aiden? What if you’re the one who gets hurt in the end?” He scrubs his palm over his scruffy face that is damn near grown out as mine. “These people aren’t your old high school buddies experimenting. This is a married couple with a past. They, at some point, deeply loved each other. I’ll say it again, man, it’s not right.”
“Yeah, I guess,” I say with a huff.
“Have you considered switching out of your class and quitting your job?” he asks.
Irritation flits through me. “I’ve considered it.”
“But?” Frustration is written all over his features.
“But I’m too selfish.”
He lets out a heavy, resigned sigh. “You’re going to have to make your own mistakes. Nobody, not even me, can steer you in the right way if you’re hell-bent on going where you want. I’ve warned you of the risks. All I can do is trust you’ll use good judgment and think things through before you act. Consider the ripple effects of every look, every gesture, every action. Each dip into their marriage will ripple the waters tremendously. I know you like them, but sometimes it’s not about you. It’s about what’s right.”
“What if they both want it?” I argue.
“It’s up to you to tell them no. Seriously, it can’t end well.”
He’s right. It pisses me off, but he’s right. That’s the reason I pushed them together the night we all kissed. They willingly went off together, leaving me alone on that couch. As it should be. They’re fragile and if I do anything to disrupt that, they’ll break for good. I don’t want that shit on my shoulders.
“Fine, Preach. I got it. Stay away from the married couple,” I grumble.
Relief flashes in his eyes. “Thank you. Now let’s get over to Steph’s because she promised me slow-cooked ribs. I’m eating for two now.”
I start laughing. “You knocked Lacy up again?”
“We’re trying.” The good preacher’s grin is devilish. “She looked real good carrying my son. I can’t wait to see her big and pregnant again.”
Three weeks later…
“He’ll be right with you, Mr. Young,” the receptionist says from the office doorway as I take a seat.
I grit my teeth and give her a clipped nod. I’m still twitching from the three cups of coffee I’ve already had this morning and it’s not even eight yet.
This is a mistake.
Get up and go.
But it’s not a mistake. We’ve tried and tried. And just when I have hope of us fixing what’s broken, we drift back apart. Fuck. I rub at the tension at the base of my neck and will the stress to go away. It won’t go away, though. When I think about a future without Vale, it feels empty. Yet when I try to think about us going at the rate we are, I realize we’re both fucking miserable.
How do we find that love again?
The love that had me head over fucking heels for her a decade ago. I used to worship her—her body, her mind, her soul. Now, that queen I vowed to love and adore ’til death do us part, has stepped down from her pedestal. I feel lost without her there.
“Vaughn,” Dane Alexander, my friend and divorce attorney, greets as he strides in. He’s about ten years older than me, but he’s clearly been hitting the gym. I’d met him at a gala for the university before Vale and I were a thing. Despite him having a wife at the time, I’d seen his appreciation of myself in a tuxedo. I’d thought he was hot too. Instead of pushing at that mutual attraction, we became friends. “You’re really here.”
I frown and give him a nod as he sits across from me at his desk. “I don’t have tons of time. You got it ready?”
His brows furl together as he studies me. “Are you sure you want to do this?”
My mind drifts to last night.
“Your mind is elsewhere,” Vale says, a sob catching in her throat. “You’re going through the motions.”
I stop thrusting to look at her. Her green eyes have lost their luster. She’s empty inside. Well, aside from me being balls deep in her cunt.
“I’m fucking my wife,” I snap a little too harshly. “Where else would I be?”
Her eyes grow teary and she looks away. “Are you thinking about him?”
Gritting my teeth, I slide out of her, my cock softening at this “discussion” in the middle of sex. “Are you thinking about him?”
She refuses to meet my gaze, but the blush creeping up her throat is her tell. Once again, we dance around our feelings and truths.
“Vale,” I say softly. “We need to—”
“I’m tired. So tired.” Her teary eyes meet mine. I don’t miss the underlying message. She’s tired of me. Of us.
“Go to sleep,” I urge, desperation bleeding into my tone. Hearing her intent guts me.
“Not that kind of tired,” she whispers. “Tired of everything.”
Leaning in, I kiss her mouth, but she doesn’t kiss me back. My cock is completely soft now. Rejection will do that to a man.
“I’m going to sleep on the couch,” I mutter. “So you can rest.”
Beg me to stay.
Fucking please, Vale.
“Okay.”
Okay.
We’re fucked.
This is the end.
“Vaughn, buddy,” Dane says, bringing me to the present. “I can toss it in the shred right now.”
I stare at the divorce papers tucked away in a big yellow envelope and labeled YOUNG. Reaching across the desk, I pull it to me. “This has been a long time coming. For nearly a year now.”
He lets out a sigh. “You should think about it a little mor
e. Have you considered counseling? I have a friend, Easton McAvoy, and he could—”
Waving him off, I shake my head. “It’s over, man. Thank you for this.”
As I rise, he eyes me warily. “Take care.”
The ride to campus, I’m numb. Completely in a zone. When I park, I climb out with the divorce papers in my grip. I stalk into the building and make a beeline to my office. I have a couple of Aiden’s assignments to grade since he’s my TA and can’t grade his own shit, including last week’s test, before I go to class this morning. But as I stomp into my office and sit down, I’m not ready to grade papers.
I pull out the documents and read through them. So harsh. Black and white. A division of two people. An ache forms in my chest and I swallow to try and ease it.
“Vale, what have we done?” I mutter, running my thumb over her name.
Anger surges through me and I shove it away. I pull out Aiden’s test and start grading to take my mind off my life. Problem is, I find myself fond of his handwriting. Messy scribbles that just seem so him. I’m fascinated by his words until I realize his essay answers are all bullshit. Stuff he made up, talking out of his ass, rather than the real answers. He’s not even close to the right answers. On any of them. By the time I make it to the end and he earns a whopping 27 percent on his exam, I’m completely livid. What’s his fucking deal?
Rising to my feet, I check my watch and realize I’m running out of time. I snag his papers along with the others he already graded for me and stalk down to the auditorium classroom. When I step inside, a few guys wince my way. A few girls giggle. I walk straight to the podium, depositing everyone but Aiden’s tests, and look for him.
He’s sitting in the front row, two girls standing in front of him talking, as he texts someone. A surge of fiery anger bursts up inside me. Is he texting my wife? Are they planning a whirlwind romance the moment I’m out of the fucking picture?
