by Kitty Parker
It was just; no one can make that food nice, no one.
I filed in line and soon met up with Lunch Lady Doris who served me up with my usual, it was supposedly "Fried Rice". But it looked like it had been put through the blender and then been pre-chewed. Yeah, I know. Nasty. It tasted fowl.
"I'm so sorry Reese; it just kills me to have to serve you this." She pointed at the food and slipped me a piece of layered chocolate mud cake as she did each day. I don't know why, but that woman had taken a liking to me. No one got cake from her, no one but me.
"Thanks Dor, but you are really too kind to me. I ain't nothing special. " I said with a grin, picking up a plastic spork from the tray.
"Nonsense sweetie, you are so special. So genuine and original, you're not that." She replied sweetly and I snorted at her reference to the cheerleaders who stood in the line biting their nails, they would only throw up their food in the bathroom later on.
"Thanks Dor, but I find pond slime to be of higher status then them." I smiled and she patted my shoulder sending me off to find a table.
I made my way to my usual table, where I sat-as per usual-on my lonesome.
Well, until he came and sat next to me. I narrowed my eyes at The Pervert; did he want his jacket back? Because he was out of luck if he wanted it back. He totally wasn't getting it back.
"Did I not punch you? Please tell me I did." I inquired pointing to a fist.
He laughed rolling his eyes and setting his tray in front of him, beginning to pick at his gruel. Ahem, I mean, lunch.
"Is lasagne always green like this?" He asked pulling a face at it and I snorted picking at my own lunch.
"Well, the cafeteria one is. But don't blame it on poor Doris, the food is all just plain gross. All she does is heat it up in the kitchen oven." I explained making a face at the fried rice and then deciding I would feed it to my dog Taffy when I got home, shoving it aside and starting on my cake.
"How come you have cake?" he asked pouting at it.
"I'm loved." I shrugged smiling as I swallowed the sugary goodness.
"Um, new guy, why are you sitting with a loon?" a familiar high pitched voice inquired.
"Is being mentally challenged a cheerleader tryout requirement? How long have you been using that one Kelly?" I asked barely even looking up from my cake. Because honestly, Kelly wasn't worth it.
I could feel her glaring at me and I smiled at my cake.
"No seriously, you don't want to be caught sitting with her, why don't you come sit with me instead?" Kelly asked flirtatiously.
I really think that girls mentally challenged.
"Uh I don't want to sit with you." The Pervert stated blatantly with a disgruntled look on his face "Why would I?"
Oh, that was harsh. But she totally deserved it, however unexpected it was. I had totally expected him to go follow her like a puppy, and most people would.
"What? You know you're cute, if you think you're beneath me or anything don't worry because I would totally go out with you." She reassured him with a wink and I found my self laughing at her. I mean really, she can't take a hint.
"You thought I thought I was beneath you?" The Pervert inquired with an indignant snort, he had obviously not been presented with our schools ever-so-sure-of-herself Queen Bee.
A resounding shriek echoed through the cafeteria and The Pervert's lunch was tipped right over Kelly's head "Oh. My. God. MY HAIR!!"
I could have hugged The Pervert in that moment; in fact I think I did. Well, before falling out of my chair and collapsing with laughter. This waspriceless.
"Oh my god. Oh my GOD!"
I think Kelly had started to hyperventilate and the only words that left her mouth that moment were: Oh, my, god and hair. Excluding the 'and' bit.
"Hey, feel like going to the library?" I asked The Pervert. He nodded and as I walked past Kelly I made it a point to spread the gruel further into her hair with a hand. Let's just say whoever thought revenge was bitter, was wrong.
Chapter 2: Fire, Harry Potter, and one Terrible Tomato.
-
"Oh my GOD!!" I cried nearly falling off the lounge couch I had made myself comfortable on in the library.
Our library was a rather nice library with plush leather pink lounge chairs, couches and whatnot. Well the right word for it would be wicked, because I just plain adored it. I could live here.
Its carpet was that shag pile carpet, you know that carpet that looks like someone's cut the top off a mop and just stuck it all over the floor? Yeah it looked way cool, and it was as black as midnight.
The walls were a polished black with hot pink Chinese script slapped in odd angles all over it. I had no idea what it all meant but...I'm sure it was something deep and intelligent.
Apart from being totally rockin', the library was massive. You could probably find any book you would ever dream of in it, well, practically.
Slapped on the entrance was a sign saying "Borrowers of books: Those mutilators of collections, spoilers of the symmetry of shelves, and creators of odd volumes, flock here."
In other words, it was heaven.
Right about now I was sitting back with an incredulous look on my face "You haven't read Harry Potter!!?" I exclaimed in horror. He had readPride and Prejudice, he had read Shakespeare, hec, he had even read Spot the dog!
But he hadn't read Harry Potter, unbelievable.
"What's it about?" he asked nonplussed at why I was so shocked, and my jaw dropped once more.
"What's it about?" I echoed gawking at him, one of my eyes twitching in disbelief.
"That's what I said." He muttered sardonically a look of irritation crossing his face.
I gave him an odd look and jumped to my feet sauntering off into the depths of the library and returning with a book in hand, still with a disbelieving frown on my face. I mean really, not knowing what Harry Potter was!!
It was like not knowing what a knife was used for, or what colour the sky was, it was just plain weird.
"This, Pervert boy, is Harry Potter." I sniffed handing him the book as though I had handed him a precious diamond, with the greatest amount of gentleness.
He took it in his hands and turned it around to read the blurb and after doing so he looked back up to me raising an eyebrow "Magic kids at a magic school? It seems a bit-"
"Blasphemy!! Don't judge a book by its cover, it is excellent." I waved a hand dismissively in his face, a frown on my own. This book was for all ages, no doubt about it.
He shrugged and flipped it open, while I sunk into my chair comfortably wrapping my arms around myself and staring into space with a vacant expression.
My daydreaming was put to an abrupt halt when something or someone jabbed me in the arm.
"Ow!" I cried with a pout rubbing my arm and sending a glare in The Pervert's direction.
"Will you read it?" The Pervert inquired, but it sounded more of a demand then a request.
"I have read it stupid." I said dismissively.
"Will you read it to me?" he asked and I battered my eyelashes at him confused.
"Can't you read it your self?" I sputtered with raised eyebrows, he could read, couldn't he?
"Course" he responded with a shrug "But you're going to read for me."
"Think again Pervert." I responded wryly and returned to my day dreaming which had been so rudely interrupted.
But again I was interrupted, do people not realise that when you jab someone it hurts?
I scowled up at him and he smirked down at me tapping on the book with a finger.
I crossed my arms and stuck my tongue out at him. I so wasn't reading.
He mockingly stuck his tongue out at me and I frowned rolling my eyes back into my head. He puffed out his cheeks and pulled his ears, looking quite like a monkey.
I Laughed. Damn it all.
"You lost, now read to me." he demanded shoving the book into my hands. I glared at him, opening the book to the first page.
"Mr and Mrs Dursley, of nu
mber four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much. They were the last people you'd expect to be involved in anything strange or mysterious, because they just didn't hold with such nonsense." I began with a soothing calm voice, using the one I exercised when reading to the animals back at the shelter. Yes I read to animals, shut up, they have ears too.
"Mr Dursley was the director of a big firm called Grunnings, which made drills. He was a big, beefy man with hardly any neck, although he did have a very large moustache." I went on soon losing myself into the book "Mrs Dursley was thin and blonde and had nearly twice the usual amount of neck which came in very useful as she spent so much of her time craning over garden fences, spying on neighbours."
I soon became rather animated as I delved further into the book. I also became aware after a while that The Pervert was looking at me with an amused goofy grin on his face and I raised an eyebrow, halting my unusual behaviour tenfold.
I had been waving my arms around, illustrating everything as I described it from the book; of course I only illustrated it with actions however, because I couldn't draw for ship.
Yes, I did indeed mean ship; I prefer not to swear.
"What are you staring at with that goofy looking face of yours?" I shot crossing my arms across my chest and rapping my fingers on my sides inquiringly.
"Me? Goofy? You're goofy." He responded still with that goofy grin on his face, ugh.
"You're so goofy; I can feel my IQ decreasing just by looking at you." I responded sharply narrowing my eyes at him.
"Too bad it wasn't very high to begin with." He responded with a smirk and I narrowed my eyes further still.
"You're goofy." Yeah I know great response eh? I couldn't really think of anything much, damn Pervert.
"You are"
"No you are"
"Am not"
"Are too"
* * *
After about 10 minutes we were sitting next to the library's computers, telling bad jokes to each other.
"What did the lettuce say to the fridge?" he murmured flicking through a book.
"You already told me that one, try again." I said searching deviant art for funny pictures.
""What is-" he was interrupted by my laughter "Hey I haven't said the joke yet!"
"N-no look a-at t-this" I burst out laughing and pointed to the screen, it was a cartoon strip about an orange, sound strange? Well to me, its genius.
The orange came in to find his girlfriends peelings on the floor, he then discovered her with a half peeled banana. The orange was overcome with grief, and drowned out his sorrows with cigarettes and alcohol. It may not appear funny in writing, but believe me, it was visually.
The Pervert peered over my shoulder and he chuckled at it, chuckled, as if he was too manly to burst into a fit of laughter as I had. But then again, a synonym for chuckle was giggle. So I could tease him over that.
But I didn't get to, because my friends, I was then ordered to log off the computer and to report to the principle's office. Along with The Pervert. Oh woe is me, what am I in trouble for now?
* * *
When I entered the office Principle Oakley was sitting there with a raised eyebrow, tapping her pencil on the desk.
"In trouble twice in the same day Miss Anderson?" she asked with an amused smile "Now I understand that you two are involved with an incident involving Miss Kosher's hair?"
"Me? It was all him. I only slapped her lightly on the head as I went past. She did call me a loon." I exclaimed "I can't help if it kinda made itworse."
"It's true Miss, all hair damage is my fault." He smirked "But you gotta cut me some slack, she was indicating that she was of higher class thenmyself, have you met this girl? She was practically begging to have my lasagne tipped over her head."
"She didn't inform me it was provoked attack, but anyway, I'll let you off this time Anderson, and Holliday, I'll think about it." She responded sending a smirk his way and then picked up a book from her desk, beginning to read.
I would have noticed the oddness of her smirk, like she knew something about him or something. But I was too busy paying attention to something else, her book in fact.
Her book happened to be a Meg Cabot book, aka, a book written by one of the funniest authors alive.
"Good choice" I said with a grin heading towards the door, seeing as she was obviously finished with us, having picked up her book and blatantly ignoring any existence outside of the book itself.
"Isn't it?" I heard her call before I walked through the door; I smiled and made my way to the lockers as the bell was about to go. I had art, yippee. Sarcasm.
Can't these people see I'm never going to get any better? That I severely lack any talent of the craft kind? Despite the fact I am pretty good at the flute, that's an art isn't it? Music? Anyway, I'm no artist; I would like to be good. But just because you want something to happen, doesn't mean it actually does.
I collected my sketchbook and pencil case and made my way to class. I suppose I should tell you why I got in trouble this morning, shouldn't I? I got in trouble, because in science this morning, I kind of exploded something. Well not intentionally. Well ok it was intentional, but I didn't mean for it to explode that much!
But I'm a pyromaniac, I swear, I really can't help it. Every time I see a flame I think "pretty" and am too captivated by it to do anything about it.
Yeah, I know, kind of pathetic. But it's like when someone's trying to talk to you when your favourite shows on. You're trying to listen, butlook; Lizzie's hiding in a trash can! Ooohhh.
That's me when my Grandmother was going through the embarrassment of giving me the Sex Talk when I was 13, its called school people. You learn those things before your parents tell you whether you like it or not.
So I wasn't interested at all about what she was saying. She made the mistake of letting me watch my favourite show at the time; by the way it was 'Lizzie McGuire'. So she had to deal with it. Still a great show by the way.
I walked into the art room and found some people already busily making masterpieces, what is with that?! Class hasn't even started.
"Reese, your job is to create your own monster and no cheerleaders this time." Mrs Arvaile informed me with a stern frown on her face. She's one of the teachers that don't like me, because I 'always make a mockery of her classes'. Please. Just because her idea of a monster and myidea of a monster are different, doesn't mean I'm mocking her.
I shrugged with a sweet smile "What would ever make you think I would do that?"
She eyed me warily and went to sit at her desk, so I did the same.
I decided to draw a tomato.
At the end of the class she had to take 10 deep breaths to restrain her self from throwing my picture out the window. I mean it was a monster; I had even given it a name 'Mr Terrible Tomato'
She sighed and muttering to her self, something along the lines of 'Kid's these days', and then gave me a D.
Hey, it was better then an F wasn't it?
As the home time bell rang throughout the classrooms I picked up my stuff, shoving pencil's into their case and collecting my picture with pride. It may not be very good, but it's a lot better then my stick figure cheerleader from hell.
It also didn't look like it had rabies.
I made my way out of class and heard a familiar chuckle "What is that supposed to be, an angry donut?"
I glared at him, just because my tomato happened to have a hole through its middle didn't mean it was a donut. It was supposed to look rotten.
"It's a tomato" I snorted looking down at it with a frown; it wasn't that bad, was it?
He snatched it out of my hands and I huffed in protest, puffing up my cheeks "Give that back!"
"Mr Terrible Tomato?" he snorted clapping a hand over his mouth and beginning to shake. I put my hands on my hips and narrowed my eyes at him, was he mocking me? He was not.
I snatched it out of his hands as he burst into laughter. My face
was red with anger, and partially because of embarrassment. No-one's good at everything, and I tried my best to come up with that!
"S-sorry" he apologised weakly before laughing even more. I just stood there steaming. Oh, how he infuriated me.
"You're loathsome." I retorted kicking him in the shins and grinning with glee as I swaggered off, hearing his groans in the background.
Now that was the perfect end for any school day.
hapter 3: Miniature Poodles will not make good guide dogs.
"Are you even listening Reese?!" Nancy exclaimed her hands on her hips and when I didn't respond she sighed.
"W-what, oh yeah, I was!!" I said quickly hoping to avoid a lecture, Nancy was my boss. I worked at an animal shelter-like thing, where animals stayed while their owners were away. Technically, I was listening, for the first 10 seconds into her instructions.
"Really? Because when I asked you what the date was you replied 'fruitcake'." She said with a raised eyebrow.
"Well...today is fruit cake day back home" I replied weakly with a meek smile, scratching the back of my head. It was half true; I had eaten fruit cake today.
"Well, you know the drill, off with you now." She said with a roll of her eyes, ushering me away so she could continue reading the newspaper and drink her coffee.
"Yes Ma'am" I said with a grin saluting her and making my way out to the counter to wait for any customers.
I was to wait for Mr Tanaka who was bring in his little white and brown Yorkshire terrier named Scruffy. Mr Tanaka was an elderly man who's wife had died and there fore all his attention now rested on little Scruffy, whom he had to leave when he went on holiday because the hotels he was to stay at didn't allow pets.
I could totally see about where he gets off loving the little dog, he had cute wide eyes and a tail that was forever wagging. He showed friendliness to whoever crossed his path, well, except for Dave. He, like me, was an assistant at the shelter, and Scruffy didn't seem to like him. At all.
Last time Dave went in there to give Scruffy a brush he returned with teeth marks on both wrists, don't ask me why he deserved those. I really don't know.
