CHAPTER 11
We grew stronger as the months rolled on. But we were not happy. We had trouble sleeping, and I thought it was due to the Yule feast that was soon to come. In a month’s time, it would be our time or at least mine. Sand would often lie in the bed, awake, sweaty, and I would ask him what was wrong, but he would not say. Not specifically. Then one morning, I did not let go of the matter. ‘Come, tell me. Are you having nightmares?’ I asked him.
‘No,’ he whispered and wiped his face.
‘What then?’ I asked him. ‘You are not saying anything. We barely speak.’
‘I’m a statist,’ he stated. ‘The least of the actors. But I knew that, didn’t I? And yes. I dream. Terrible dreams, Maskan. You will betray me.’
I gawked at him. ‘No. Why would you think so? For a damned dream? I once dreamed you tried to eat me. Will you?’
‘Only if there are a good mint sauce and taters involved,’ he said miserably and swung his legs over to the floor. He rubbed his face. ‘Yeah. I see strange dreams. I have not slept well lately. Not at all. I keep seeing you, and you have left me. You lie to me, all the time, in that dream. I’m alone in the dark, and then I die. It is very uncomfortable.’
‘No, I wouldn’t,’ I told him and felt miserable. ‘And I also have nightmares. It’s only natural with Yule so close. I dream of her. Shaduril. She is a queen. And marries Morag. I dreamt, just now, that she could not remember my name as I was introduced to her up there in the Rose Throne.’
‘What does it look like?’ he asked me with a small grin.
‘What? The Rose Throne? It was a large chair with roses engraved all around it. Dark red. Why?’
‘Just wanted to know,’ he said tiredly. ‘Never seen it. Few have. Especially if you grew up in the Bad Man’s. Incredible what you can do in a dream.’
I hesitated and shrugged. And felt sorry for him. ‘You up to training?’
‘Got nothing else to do, right?’ he said weakly. ‘I hope the skills will be useful one day.’
‘No, you will not train today,’ said a thin voice from the door. Balan stood there. He eyed Sand, and I stared at him, refusing to ask my friend to leave, which was obviously what Balan desired. He noted my mulish mood and shrugged. ‘You will rest this day, my friends. In the evening, Maskan, you will sit down with the family. Lith will be here.’
‘And my uncle?’ I asked and froze. Gods, I was a fool.
Balan’s face was unreadable, and then he nodded. ‘And your uncle. He will agree to our deal. And this letter is for you.’ He held an official-looking document up in the air.
‘I see,’ I said. Sand perked up as he understood what I had said.
‘You have a family?’ he asked.
Balan was rubbing his forehead. ‘I am sorry, Sand. We agreed not to speak about this before everything is settled. We,’ he nodded at me, ‘thought you might be safer not to know more about it.’ Lying bastard, he did not trust Sand.
‘I agreed,’ I said and shrugged at Sand. He scowled at me, deeply hurt.
‘What is this part of the plan?’ he asked. ‘Last I remember we agreed to help them kill the queen and then the other murderers. There a plan now?’
‘We are trying to survive a regicide,’ I told him softly. ‘It is more complicated than our oath.’
‘Well, will you not tell me more?’ he growled. ‘Or do you think I don’t understand these complicated plans? I have been patient.’
Balan hesitated. ‘There will be people coming and going this night. Stay out of sight, Sand, if you can. Deal with this issue, Maskan.’ He bowed to me and left me a letter. I took it and fiddled with it. I put it down, not wishing to open it. It was a written agreement by Balan on our deal.
I nodded at Sand and sighed. ‘Sorry, it’s likely a dreary affair, this dinner,’ I told him. I looked at him as he did not answer and saw he was staring ahead, not reacting. ‘Sand?’ I asked him, and he looked up, slowly, his mouth open.
‘Who is your relative?’ he asked me with a thin voice. ‘And what is this plan?’
‘The plan involves my relative,’ I told him softly.
‘And who is it?’ he insisted. ‘I know your mother told you something that day you got Larkgrin. I didn’t hear it, but she was crying. I know it’s some noble. Always did. So?’
I shrugged. ‘Gal Talin.’
His eyes were wide open, and he froze and stammered. ‘Gal Talin. The bastard who oversees the executions and robs the dead? The Lord of the Harbor?’
‘My father was his brother,’ I told him sorely. ‘He is my uncle.’
He held his head. ‘I know what an uncle is, Maskan! And he will be here?’ he asked. ‘You will join him?’
‘I will join the dinner,’ I affirmed, playing with the letter.
‘Why?’ he asked. ‘That means there is an alliance being built, no?’
‘Yes. And no. It is complicated,’ I said, looking away. Gal would die. I felt filthy for all the lies.
‘Look at me!’ he yelled and slammed his fist on the desk so hard the chain mail draped over it slid to the ground with a jarring, clinking sound. ‘What exactly have they promised you?’
‘I cannot tell you. I promised—’
‘Cannot tell your brother?’ he hissed. ‘But then, I am not. Not really. They will make you a noble? In his house? Gal Talin’s house? In return for aid?’
‘Yes,’ I said with a small voice. ‘But—’
‘And?’ he asked. I said nothing, and he just stared at me. Then he got an idea. He leaned forward. ‘I have been wondering about something. You see, an idiot like me sometimes has thoughts inside his thick skull. Who will be the king? If Morag dies, that is.’
I waved my hand and rubbed my face. ‘Crec Helstrom. He will marry Lith.’
‘What?’ he breathed. ‘The man who ordered the executions of our family?’
‘Yes,’ I said resolutely, determined to have it out.
He stammered and stared at me, waiting for me to go on. I did not and so he shouted at me. ‘It was Mad Watch standing there at the Green Hall. And you said yes to this? Even if we swore … And you said nothing?’ He went quiet and held his head. ‘You are moving on. To a new family. Probably won’t even spit in Bad Man’s direction. You should have told me.’
‘It’s not a small matter to share information on a treason. If things go wrong, they will question us—’
He laughed with a mocking voice. ‘They will kill the lot and ask no questions. At all. No matter what they know or find out. Doesn’t matter. Stop lying.’
‘There is more to it,’ I said defensively. ‘It’s not as simple as you think. But I promise you, I have not forgotten our enemy. Not Crec. Not the Brothers.’
‘You heard?’ Taram asked from the doorway, and we froze. ‘I hear there is no training today.’ He stopped to stare at our stupefied faces. ‘What is wrong?’
‘Nothing. No training today,’ I confirmed.
He hesitated, nodded, bowed, and left.
‘Think he heard?’ I asked Sand with a whisper.
‘Don’t really care if he did,’ he answered. ‘We swore on their blood. An oath.’
‘It makes no sense, Sand, to curse Crec. He likely did what the king told him to do,’ I whispered, hoping Sand would calm down. ‘Should we also go after the soldiers?’
‘And now you defend him?’ he breathed. ‘You are doing this for your reward.’
‘My reward, Sand, is to see Shaduril survive.’
‘I told you to let her do her bit!’ he yelled.
‘I am letting her do her bit. But I don’t want to lose her. I want to see her survive and thrive! She might if Balan manages to pull together an alliance. Crec is needed for the Mad Watch and so that he can be the king. He is high enough to be accepted by the Houses. Gal is needed to enter the Tower. Shaduril will be in there. We swore an oath, Sand, but we have to keep focused on the real goal. And that’s all about the king. He is the rooster we must pluck, not the others.�
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‘And the Brothers? What if they choose to join Crec?’ he asked me, cocking his head. ‘Surely, Crec might invite them to his house? Balan does not command Crec, does he? What if Crec decides to hang the lot of us?’
I opened my mouth to refute him, but could not. ‘We cross that bridge when we come to it.’
‘And you will be rich?’ he laughed. ‘You’ll have a beautiful house and riches. Just what I wanted. And Shaduril?’
‘I was going to share with you. I’m still a thief. I will share everything but her. We always have. And she has not decided anything as far as I go. She says she has feelings, but who knows? She is frightened.’
He snorted. ‘You would have shared with me? But you didn’t tell me the good news any more than you did the bad ones. I wish I had ignored you lot and buried my father. Here I am. Useless. A silly little puppet.’
I whispered. ‘I worry for you. Shaduril was right. You should not have come. But not because you are useless. I am sorry for my mistakes. Balan keeps you here, Sand because he knows I care for you. You are a hostage,’ I said, hoping he would understand, not at all sure he would.
He shook his head and sneered. ‘And you let them? Another thing you should have told me.’ I opened my mouth, but could not. He was right. He turned on his heels and pushed past me. ‘You have changed, friend. I think my dreams were wise.’
‘What is wrong with change, Sand? Eh? We have to think about ourselves as well as the dead. Compromises have to be made. I’m trying to make one. Attempting to make it right for everyone. Why can’t you see that and forgive me?’ I walked after him to the hallway as he walked down a staircase. ‘What is wrong with that? Huh?’
‘Nothing,’ he called out. ‘Nothing at all. Go and enjoy yourself this evening. I doubt you could stomach a piece of bread down at the harbor anymore.’
‘I’ve not changed that much!’
‘Remember Ann? My sister? Bear and that one lady, Mir?’ he called out. ‘And our dull lives? But I guess you were robbed at birth and now, it’s time to reclaim what was yours. After the queen is dead, Maskan,’ he said with a grating voice as he reached the downstairs, ‘we should both reclaim what was ours, once. Perhaps sooner.’
‘I’ll choose the living over the dead, Sand, any day!’ I yelled so that the Crimson Apex echoed. ‘I told you this once. And that includes you and Shaduril both! How could you demand it is you alone? I’d love your woman like I love you!’
‘I want respect and answers, instead of mirrors and smoke,’ he yelled back up at me. ‘I might be a prisoner, but I am not happy. I need air that’s not sullied by the smell of shit and lies.’
I went back to the room and stared at the ceiling. I writhed in agony, cursed him and tried to convince myself I had not forgotten him. There were plenty of reasons to keep him in the dark, but the truth was I had left him in the dark because it gave me Shaduril and riches, and he would have made it harder. He was never one to make compromises. He was like his father, quick to anger. And yet, I felt like a rotten bastard, even if I knew it was not that simple. I did not give him a chance to change. And perhaps he was right. Perhaps he should not have changed. Had I not thought of running away with him before Shaduril gave me hope? For Crec? Finally, I fell asleep and suffered nightmares until the evening.
‘Lord?’ said a voice at the door, and the butler Gray was there, bowing. I got up, totally at a loss at how much the time was.
‘Is it …’ I began, and the butler gave me a ghost of a smile.
‘This way, Lord.’ He helped me up, guided me through the door and showed me to the corner chamber, a round room with a high ceiling where we bathed every day.
A very beautiful servant gave me dark leather pants and a pearl white shirt at the door, but I barely noticed their excellent quality, as Sand’s parting words bothered me. He needed air. He had not returned to the room.
I went in, saw a steaming bath, undressed, and slid in. It was heavenly, warm and perhaps nearly scalding. The scent of the water was strange, the room calm and relaxing, with shadows and light in perfect balance and birds were chirping away outside. Despite having slept most of the day, I felt drowsy. Soon, I felt like I drifted away, and I decided I had never been as relaxed, not for a long time at least.
Then, something splashed into the bath with a wild shriek, and I nearly had a heart attack.
‘Maskan!’ Shaduril shrieked and smiled at me, her sultry smile beaming at me. She had nothing on, and her bared bosom made me yelp.
‘What are you doing?’ I asked her, holding my chest while trying to look at her eyes. ‘And when did you arrive? And you know—’
‘Just this morning,’ she said with a grin, playing with their house symbol that was enticingly like having a bubble bath between her breasts. ‘Things have been moving along rather nicely. And I’ve missed you. I am sorry.’
I stared at her, and she tilted her head at me. I dared to speak after a while. ‘You seem much happier. A lot happier, in fact.’
She nodded and looked down, demurely. ‘Things are much clearer. Time is almost up. It’s a relief. And I have been thinking about you.’
‘And Morag?’ I asked her.
She waved her hand. ‘I don’t want to talk about him. Could you not, either?’
I nodded at her. Her ice cold feet were brushing against mine under the water. ‘I hear Crec will be here. For Lith?’ I stated the obvious.
‘He will,’ she agreed with a somewhat subdued voice. ‘I ask you not to speak of Morag, but you will speak of Crec and Lith. Thank you. But yes, the Lord Commander will be here. Gods, he is a bore. Utter, total windmill. Lith will yawn when she has to endure him again. Looks tall and handsome, but only does one or two things. Broods and plots. But he does bring new blood to this conspiracy. Many things might happen, Maskan. The future is ours to mold.’
‘I never thanked Lith …’ I stammered. ‘After the mint episode.’
‘For saving you from a short, murderous guard of the mint?’ She quaffed, and I did chuckle at that. She dipped her head underwater and rubbed it vigorously. ‘You are welcome, I am sure,’ she told me under her breath. She had a most beautiful earring dangling from her lobe, a thing of silver and pearls.
‘Thank you on her behalf, Shaduril,’ I said with gratitude.
‘Welcome.’ She grinned, and I was glad she was so brilliantly happy though her nakedness made me very nervous.
‘Why are you here?’ I asked her to distract myself from her nipples.
She shrugged. ‘Morag is busy. I had some time. I wanted to see you. Are you complaining?’
‘No. You were supposed to help me get ready?’ I repeated. ‘Will you dress me, then?’ I said with a smile.
She splashed water on my face. ‘I am no maid, Maskan. I’m just having a bath with you. But you can massage my foot.’ She arched her neck, her foot snaked into my lap, and I nearly shrieked. She grinned again, and I decided I either had to escape or play along. In the end, I let her leg rest there, and she, quite maliciously, did not budge it. ‘No?’
‘I don’t know how,’ I told her and grabbed the foot while pressing it here and there.
‘That is really sad,’ she decided, and I nodded. I had no idea what I was doing. She smiled suggestively, and I groaned with desire. Yet, there was a part of me that was wary. She spoke softly. ‘You know, I’m just jubilant right now. You don’t have to be an expert. Just press there … right there and move your fingers gently. There! You see. You can.’
‘You are different. A bit like a—’
‘Slut?’ she said, her eyes hardening.
I cursed myself. ‘Perhaps, no, definitely not. But I am not saying—’
She leaned forward and her leg brushed at me very suggestively. I enjoyed the excitement of the seduction; I feared it. She seemed strange. ‘Yes, you are saying just that. It is fine. I am enjoying myself tonight because soon I might be dead. Indulge me. Let me be the old Shaduril, just for a moment. In a bit, this very
evening, Father will introduce you to Gal Talien and that pompous ass and future king of the land, Crec Helstrom,’ she said flatly. ‘Perhaps I should marry Morag before killing him, and I would be the Beastess of the North,’ she laughed and flashed a feral look on her face, clawing at the air. ‘I’d have Crec hung.’
‘I see,’ I breathed, totally at a loss with her mood. ‘I am happy to help you forget,’ I told her. ‘I am pleased it is no longer a suicide attack on the crown.’
‘Our plan, dear, is mad as a bat in daylight.’ She grinned. ‘But it has a speck of hope. I rather like … living. Right this moment.’
‘Will you tell me what you think about our future? You still interested in … seeing what lies further afield?’ I asked her, thinking about Sand and our plans together.
‘I want to see what is under the water, right now,’ she purred, and her leg came to rest in a very inappropriate place.
‘Not now,’ I said in a panic, for it was strange, and I was suddenly not in a mood. Her mouth smiled, but I saw she had lost her patience. Her foot pushed me very forcefully, and I winced.
‘Fine,’ she said after a while. ‘The mood is gone. You damned fool,’ she hissed. ‘My last night.’
I groaned. ‘I am sorry. I did not mean to ruin this for you. I worry. I always worry. That’s what I do.’ She nodded and sighed, and leaned her head back.
‘I forgive you for turning me down.’ Her eyes flashed as she looked at me, and I flinched for her foot dug in my side. ‘Just remember this. We are all driven by goals and desires in this family. Much more so than other families. We obey Father, but only so long as we get what we want in the end. I want you. I cannot understand how you keep resisting me.’
The Beast of the North Page 21
