by L. Ann Marie
"It was. She hasn't woken up. I'm getting a little nervous." Patches still looks like shit. Fuck.
"Do you need anything? A fuckin shot or something?" I smile.
"Some water would do thanks." He's not smiling. I nod and get him water. His eyes are closed when I come back so I leave it on the nightstand and run the back of my hand over Tess’ cheek.
Doc is working on my dad at the kitchen table. He's a fuckin mess. "I need another fuckin coat." He's pissed. I crack up.
"You're dripping blood all over the floor and you're pissed about a fuckin coat. How the fuck did you get shot." I'm thinking he's in shock.
"I need to think about something else." He fuckin smiles. "How is Tess?"
"Patches is worried. She hasn't woken up. He said it was bad this time. He looks like he was hit by a fuckin truck so I don't want to ask too much right now." I'm thinking I need to be in there with him but he needs some time too. I fuckin hate that I don't know which is more important.
"It was bad Rich. Not like at the Diner, she was screaming that I had to help Kate or she'd lose the baby. I tackled her; she landed on top of me though. It was fuckin close. The thing that helped me find her though was Tess was able to see Kate's book on the seat. She told me right where to go and what time she'd be there."
"Thank fuck. I think we should see someone about these dreams. We need to help her through this. She's going to be a fuckin wreck if this keeps up. Kate will be right there with her." I tell him.
"She stopped crying, I thought I was too fuckin late. I was fuckin scared. When I asked Patches what was happening he said Max laid his head on her lap. She calmed right the fuck down but now she's sleeping. Did she ever sleep after a vision before?"
I love that fuckin dog. "Not that I know of. With Ally she was hysterical, but awake then with Jonesy she was asleep then woke. She stayed awake. The second time with Alley it started while she was asleep but she was awake and sobbing that we had to come here and help her. She had never made noise crying before or even after, unless it's a dream. You saw what happened with Jessie, she was fighting Patches while he was trying to move her to the back. Thank fuck it was Patches, one of the women would never have gotten her back there. She stayed awake then too." I think back. "With Amanda she was awake before and after. That one she was sobbing but not too bad."
He looks at me. Doc looks at me; he stopped stitching with the thread hanging from my dad’s arm. "What?"
"I think we may need some help with the visions. That's a fuckin lot of stress to go through. Seeing people she knows hurt, shot, raped. Fuck, no wonder Kate is more fuckin worried about her, than that she almost got shot." Doc says. Bob agrees. We hear bikes coming up the road.
"Ben took a Ducati. That's how he got there so fuckin fast. He's lucky he didn't kill himself." My dad looks pissed again.
"I'll let them in." I go through the garage. I need a fuckin minute. How the fuck do we help her seeing all the fuckin shit she sees? I hit the door opener and Steve rolls in. Tiny picks up Driscoll, he was on Steve's bike. Once Ben's bike is in and off Steve follows me in.
"Just flesh?" He asks.
Doc looks at him. "Would have been a fuck of a lot better if he went to the fuckin clinic. I put him back together, this one’s going to hurt like a son of a bitch, took the hit in a lot of fuckin muscle."
"Guess it's good he's got muscle." Steve smiles. Fuckin VP.
"Rich I'm going to ask Sally to look into the visions. It sounds like they're worse for the people she loves. Her going right from hysterical to almost catatonic is a major concern to me. I'm wondering if she's ever loved people before. She may need some help getting through the visions when they happen. Sally said she's seen a couple; she had tears but no noise. The others she had no reaction other than a bit of a dazed look. Whatever her reaction she's going to need some help." Doc finishes bandaging my dad as he says this. Fuck, I know it but I know very little about dreams or visions.
"I'm going to check on them." I tell him getting up. He tells me he'll be right in. When I get to the door Kate is sitting on the side of the bed stroking Tess' hair. Patches is in the bathroom splashing water on his face. Max has his head on the mattress. I walk over to him and put Tess' hand close to him. He lays his head on it. I go back around and sit on the bed and rub her back. My girl is fuckin out.
Doc comes in, "nothing?" I shake my head no.
Patches looks better than he did. "She hasn't moved. I'm worried Doc. This has never happened before." Just as he finishes Max makes a low noise.
Tess moves. Fuckin dog is awesome. She opens her eyes and bursts into tears. She sits up so fuckin fast and holds onto Kate. "Thanks to you I'm fine. Danny is fine. Doc took care of him. I was so worried about you."
"You're ok. But I saw Danny get shot. There was so much blood. It was on you but you were alright." Tess voice hitches but no sobbing.
"It was Danny's blood. I was fine just like you thought. He tackled me and flipped over so I was on top of him. The blood was from his arm. I was on top of it. I'm perfect. The baby is perfect and Danny is going to be just fine." Kate is talking so soft soothing Tess like a mom would. She was worried about Tess seeing everything. I look at Patches he's smiling.
I go back out to the kitchen. Dad is telling Ben, Steve and Bob what happened. I haven't heard it so I sit and listen. Jessie and Little Ben left out quite a bit. Thank fuck they didn't get all of it. When he finishes I tell them she's up. "She's holding onto Kate. She saw you get shot and saw the blood on Kate. She didn't understand what happened because of the blood."
"I think what Doc said might be right, she may not have loved anyone. Seeing Kate with blood on her stomach while she was standing must have shocked the fuck out of her. Ben was stunned when he got there. He saw the blood on her and he froze. Thank fuck Steve was there or Ben would be getting sewn up too." He gets up and gets beers from the fridge. He passes them around.
Ben is quiet, I look at him. He's staring out the window. I sit on the side of him while my dad goes in to see Tess. He looks at me, "looking at the water always helps clear my head." I nod. This is what my father says when he wants to get you away from everyone else. I stand up and tell the table I need a minute. They nod. I walk into the patio and sit.
Ben comes in and sits looking out the window. "She saved Kate and the baby. She's suffering because she sees all this shit happen. Whatever it takes to get her straight I'll take care of. She's suffered for us. Love should never hurt and it's hurting her. Kate is worried for her. I'm going to ask Geek to find help too. It sounds like Max is a help for her, he calms her when nothing else does."
"Yeah. You know we have money Ben. She has almost three hundred grand by herself. Me and Patches aren't hurting. Te Jess takes care of us." I don't want him to think we can't or won't help her because of money.
"I know you're set with money. It's not about that. She's been through hell and finally come out the other side. Now she suffers in a different way. She's suffering because she loves us. She can't drive; she's stuck in the yard because she has visions about her new family. We'll take care of it because we take care of our own. She deserves to be happy without suffering."
"Yeah. Thank you Ben. I need to check on them. I haven't been able to get near her since I got here." I tell him standing.
"Go hold your girl. Dinner should be here soon." He throws chin.
Back at the room dad is just getting up. Max has his head on Tess' leg. Thank fuck. "I need to hold my girl, Pres' orders." I tell him as he walks by. He slaps my shoulder then closes the door. "Thank fuck. I know you probably need a minute to clear your head but I need to hold you. I promise not to open my fuckin mouth if I can do that right the fuck now." She holds her arms open. I lift her and sit her on my lap. Fuck that's a whole lot better. I bury my face in her hair.
I get about twenty minutes then Jessie comes in. "Dad said to let you know dinner is here. I'm supposed to go right back but I can't." We both look at him. Tess opens her arms and
he runs to her. "You are the strongest person I ever met. I thought Danny was it, but your heart hurts in order to save people. Then you fix it and do it all over again. Thank you for saving mom and the baby. I'm sorry you hurt in order to do that." He kisses her cheek and leaves.
"Fuckin kids." We say together. I bark out a laugh. "I've never heard you swear before."
"I guess I never felt the need, sometimes that all that there is to say." She says, her voice is hoarse and my dick jumps. I've got to convince it that she's hoarse from crying before I carry her out to the table.
Everyone is already sitting. Jessie has Tess' seat open on the side of him. I smile and kiss her head when I sit her in it. I kiss his too before I go around and sit in my seat. Darren signs 'thank you Tess.' Then all the kids do. Kate smiles with tears running down her face. Fuckin tears. I smile over at Tess.
"Where's Patches?" I ask.
Little Ben says, "He went to take Max for a walk. He said he needs some air and Max needed to go out." I nod. I hope he's alright. I'm not sure if I should go talk to him.
"Steve's with him." My dad says. I nod.
"Sam makes the best food." Bob says. I just notice he's still here. Tess agrees with him. "You know all the food is Jess' recipes. It was easier to open the Diner than keep feeding people out of her house. Saturday breakfast was insane. It got to like twenty people and VP stopped it. He kept threatening to put a drive thru window in. The Diner opened and everyone started eating there."
Everyone starts talking about Te Jess' food and their favorites. I watch Tess smiling and laughing. She's good. Kate smiles at me.
I never felt more helpless than I did today, I have no fuckin idea what the fuck I have to be smiling about but I am. When I think about it I have a lot to be smiling about. Tess is ok, Kate and the baby are ok and my dad is ok. Good fuckin reasons to smile. I laugh at Aaron trying to stuff a whole piece of bread in his mouth on a dare. Kate makes him stop; she does it with a smile. He looks embarrassed and stops.
Finally, fuckin Patches comes in, Max goes to Tess and I watch Patches. He looks at me and throws chin. Thank fuck! The weight of the world is off his shoulder. I throw chin to VP? He smiles and nods then sits down to eat.
Thirty Three
One week
Tess
We have a meeting today with a woman that can help me with the dreams. I'm excited and terrified. I was so scared for Kate. I can't remember anything but being scared. When I saw the blood and Danny getting shot I didn't want to see anymore. I’m so glad everyone is ok. Well except Danny. It's so weird; no one thought it was so bad. I think it's bad, a man SHOT him. How is that a normal part of anyone's day? He doesn't ever say anything about it.
Once I finish the PO's I go for lunch. I have a self-defense class in half an hour. Evelyn is busy again. I wait in the line. Two more people come in behind me. I watch their feet. Work boots. Max sits on my foot. "You're right I'm good." I say to him softly.
"You talking to yourself there little one?" The man behind me says. Not again.
I look at him then down. "I get nervous around men or in crowds. My dog sat on my foot to remind me he's here and will protect me. I just want to get my lunch and leave. Please."
"Guy that works with me told me about you. He's an ass, can't stand the guy. You do what you need to little one." I don't look at him.
"Thank you." I look at the front and see Evelyn smiling at me. I smile back. I got this. I get my grinder and leave. On the way to the Center I sit at a bench and eat part my sandwich. Max sits in front of me watching the road. I take him to the grass to do what he needs to and get to class while Max stays with Anita. She loves him but keeps trying to feed him. He won't eat anything she tries. Thank God. He'll be a hundred pounds in a month if he eats everything she wants him to.
Rich picks me up today. He kisses me sending the tingles. I smile, it's always the same, Rich is tingles and Patches is shivers. We get in the truck and we go to Security. We're meeting on the first floor near Steve's office. I like coming here. People are always busy. Rich is in charge of training of all the Security people and the police. He runs the surveillance room too. It has a million screens always changing videos. I don't know how he does it. It gives me a headache.
When we walk in Kate, Danny, Ben, Steve, Jess, Sally and Doc are here. "Where's Patches?"
"He's on his way. He had to wait for Tiny to get to the house." Danny says.
I nod. I'm happy he’s still coming. I don't want to meet without him. He worries so much already, I want him to be able to ask all the questions he has so he can stop worrying. Max sits by me and we wait.
Rich
Finally, Patches and the Dr come in. "I found her in the hallway looking for the right room." Patches says. He introduces everyone and tells of their relationship to Tess. She is surprised when he says I'm his brother and Tess husband. I smile.
"I thought you were her husband?" She asks him.
"I am." He doesn't go into detail and she doesn't ask.
She looks at Tess. "My name is Dr. Silva. I am a parapsychologist. From the reports I've read, you are clairvoyant. The visions you have would be considered psychic phenomena. Old timers would call you a seer. I was intrigued by your recent visions and think I can answer some of the question you have. The first thing you need to know is you can control some aspects of your psychic ability. As you grow stronger in your abilities, you can grow stronger in your control. I see around the table you have a great support system, this is important, not only for your piece of mind, but for your protection as well. Let's start with your questions. With your permission, the questions from your family can be answered first, when they are, you'll have calmed and I can answer yours."
Tess nods to her. "You said she would be able to control aspects of the visions. My concern is for her physically and mentally. When she has a vision about a family member she sees them being hurt, shot or raped and is understandably upset to the point of being hysterical. Just recently she immediately fell asleep in an almost catatonic state. This was the first time that happened. Will she continue to have the need to sleep and is it going to take longer for her to bounce back? Will she always be brought to hysterics and how will this affect her physically and mentally long term?" Kate asks.
Dr Silva smiles. "You're Tess' mother figure and a loving one at that. She will be able to get through a vision without it hurting her physically. She should be able to control her reactions but she'll need help. You all will have to learn how to help guide her through a vision keeping her calm and focused. Once she is stronger she'll be able to walk through the visions on her own but will need to be protected while they are happening. I believe Tess fell into the catatonic state because her mind could not accept what her eyes were seeing. She had to shut down to regroup; she has no other defense when she sees something that hurts her deeply. The fact that she has the ability to shut down until she's ready to accept is a concern, at the same time it is a relief. It’s good that she can go there as a defense mechanism. Because she can use it as a defense mechanism, her mental stability is not something I would worry about as far as the visions go."
"Max calmed her almost immediately when nothing else was working will he be able to be her protection when one of us is not around?" Patches asks.
"Yes, Max is already her protector, use him. His job will become easier and more focused as Tess gains control over her visions."
"She is able to answer questions during a vision. Is asking those questions part of guiding her?" My dad asks.
"Few clairvoyants are able to answer questions while having a vision. This is a rare ability. As she learns to control her reactions she will be calm enough to answer those questions. When I said guide her through, I meant calming her until the vision ends. Asking questions may not always get you answers and can cause her to look at something her mind is not ready for. Be careful about what you ask. We can go over that as you're learning to be guides for her."
"Tess has changed
the outcome of quite a few of her visions, and then had a new vision that showed a new outcome. Is there danger for her mental stability in her doing this?" Sally asks.
"Yes and no. If she can change the vision and the outcome is not what she'd hoped for she can fall to that defense mechanism into a catatonic like state. When her mind is able to handle the new information she will come out of it."
"You're skirting around mental stability. What are you avoiding saying?" I ask not wanting her to confirm what's going through my fuckin head.
"Very perceptive and I'm sorry but it will confirm what you're thinking. Many of the stronger clairvoyant psychics fall into a depression. Tess' most disturbing visions surround your family and their wellbeing. I believe this will get more intense and more frequent as Tess bonds and meets new people. If she can learn control before that happens she can function normally and live happily among her new family and friends. I'm not saying it will be easy but she has a strength in her that I don't see in other psychics. If she struggles with that control she can fall into depression regularly. The outcome of her visions can affect that mental stability. The people that surround her can affect that stability as well. If Kate was hurt and Tess didn't warn you in enough time, I would probably not be here. There is always the danger that she would be held responsible for the visions outcome." Fuck. That's exactly where I saw her fuckin going. How the fuck does she know what I'm thinking? "I also have abilities that are not outwardly evident." She smiles at me. I sit back thinking this is fucked up.
"I'm sorry you feel deceived, I don't advertise that I can read initially because I need to see if the client is truly psychic and her support is genuinely interested in assisting or looking for how much they can make. It is cynical and most definitely skirting on unethical but it is also important for Tess that I know, so I can help her in the areas she needs. If one of you were looking to cash in on her, I would steer her away and tell her the intent. Tess knew when I walked in that I can read both her and you. I asked her to wait for me to tell you." I look at Tess. She turns red but doesn't say anything as she looks back at me.
