by Claire Adams
PROTECTOR #5
The Protector Series Book #5
By Claire Adams
This book is a work of fiction. The names, characters, places and incidents are products of the writer's imagination or have been used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, actual events, locales or organizations is entirely coincidental.
Copyright © 2015 Claire Adams
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Protector 5
After I’d laid down the law on going to the police, Brian looked at me silently, then rolled over and went back to sleep without another word. I lay awake for a long time thinking about the consequences of calling the police and about what the stress of having to work this situation alone was doing to a man I was quickly becoming attached to, but in the end, I couldn’t see how we could involve the police in this without it becoming a nightmare for my father. Right before dawn I drifted off into a fitful sleep.
The next morning, I woke up early and moved to the living room where I sat on the couch staring out the window as Brian slept. There were lots of things about him that I didn’t understand, and I wasn’t sure I’d ever understand them. He’d obviously been through a lot in the military, and the effects of his experiences were rearing their ugly heads as he tried to balance his job with what he was feeling for me. Every day we grew closer, but was it really a bond that could last or was it simply the result of being cooped up together in this emergency situation that forced us to keep moving closer?
I was tired of running. I was tired of being afraid of Dominic. I’d spent a year trying to extract myself from his choking grip, and now I was right back to where I started. When would it ever end?
“Hey, you’re up early,” Brian said as he emerged from the bedroom rubbing his sleepy eyes.
“Yeah, I couldn’t sleep,” I replied in a tired voice before looking up at him. “You okay?”
“Huh?” he gave me a confused look. “Yeah, I’m fine. Why?”
“Well, last night was kind of intense,” I said.
“Oh, that,” he looked away and then walked toward the window. “Yeah, well…”
“You want to talk about it?” I asked.
With his back to me, he shook his head and then walked over, grabbed the remote and flipped on the news. The sound of the morning’s activities filled the silent room acting as a deterrent for more questions. He didn’t want to talk with me, but I didn’t accept this.
“Brian,” I said loud enough to be heard over the television. “You know there are places where you can get help for PTSD, right?”
“I don’t recall asking you for advice,” he said in a low voice.
“I’m just saying that there are ways you can deal with this!” I replied. I wasn’t going to let him brush me off that easily.
“You know what, Ava?” he growled. “I think it would be wise if you’d clean up your own house before you start trying to air out mine.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” I replied in an annoyed tone.
“I’m just saying that before you try and make me deal with my problems, you should probably deal with your own, first!” he shouted. “You are a hot mess, you know that, don’t you?”
“Me? I’m a hot mess?” I yelled back. “Oh that’s a good one! The guy who can’t make it through the night without screaming in his sleep tells me I’m a hot mess. Very nice.”
“Careful,” he warned as he stared at me. “You’re treading on thin, thin ice.”
“You’re the one who started it!” I shot back.
“Ava, I don’t want to talk about my issues,” he said calmly. “I’ve told you I don’t want to see a shrink, and I mean it. A stranger is not going to help me sort out the mess that’s in my head. So let it go.”
“Fine,” I shrugged. “Whatever, but you really should think about talking to someone. Anyone. Family? Friends?”
“Right, that’s a great option,” he laughed without humor. “Dump all the crap that happened to me on my friends and family so they can live with it? Not happening.”
“Oh the irony,” I sighed.
“What’s so ironic about that?” he asked, genuinely curious.
“Nothing,” I murmured. “Never mind.”
“Look, I’m sorry,” he said as he sat down next to me on the couch. “I know you mean well, it’s just that I don’t want to talk to anyone about it.”
“Not even me?” I asked in a small voice as I looked into his eyes. Brian held my gaze for a few seconds before reaching out and pulling me into his arms.
“Not even you, Ava,” he whispered into my hair. I wrapped my arms around his waist and laid my cheek on his chest as I felt him breathing.
*****
We sat entwined on the couch for what felt like a really long time. Neither one of us said a word, we just held on to each other for dear life and waited for the panicked feeling to pass. Or at least that’s what I did. Brian didn’t give much away, and since I couldn’t see his face, I couldn’t tell what he was thinking. So I let go and enjoyed the feeling of safety and security that I felt when he wrapped his arms around me. I closed my eyes and let myself forget where I was and that my life was a disaster at the moment.
“Are you hungry? Do you want to get some breakfast?” Brian murmured as he stroked my back and ran his fingers through my hair.
“Mmmm hmmm,” I nodded against his chest without opening my eyes.
“Then you go get ready and we’ll get out of this room for bit, okay?” he said.
“Okay,” I mumbled. I was warm and drowsy against his chest, but my stomach was rumbling and I knew it wouldn’t be long before I’d be so hungry I want one of everything on the menu. Brian slowly lifted me off of him and helped me stand, then gently pushed me toward the bedroom.
“Go get dressed. I’m starving!” he laughed as I fake stumbled toward the bedroom.
“I’m not sure I like the way you push me around, sailor,” I grumbled as I made a show of how much energy it took to get ready.
“You are such a drama queen!” he laughed harder as I shot him a dirty look and went to put on some clothes.
I pulled on my jeans and a t-shirt and pulled a brush though my messy hair gathering it up into a lose ponytail before dusting my cheeks with a bit of blush and sweeping a layer of mascara on my lashes. I looked passable for breakfast, but the dark circles under my eyes made me look bruised and I looked away as I remembered a time when those bruises kept me from going to class or seeing my friends.
“Not again,” I whispered to my reflection. “You are safe.”
“Did you say something?” Brian called from the other room.
“No, I must have been the television,” I called back as I dabbed a little concealer under my eyes.
“Are you about ready?” he asked as I emerged from the bedroom. “Whoa! You sure do clean up nice!”
“Whatever,” I said as I rolled my eyes. I looked a mess and I knew it, but it was nice of him to try and make me feel better.
“I’m serious,” he said as he crossed the room an
d pulled me back into his arms. “You look beautiful.”
“Don’t flatter me, I’m a hot mess,” I laughed as I wrapped my arms around his neck and looked up into the steel blue eyes that held my gaze.
“Yeah, but you’re a beautiful hot mess,” he whispered as he leaned down and softly kissed my lips. “And don’t you ever forget that.”
I closed my eyes as I returned his kiss and wished that we could remain like this forever.
Brian kissed my forehead before he let go and began to unwind all of the security set ups he’d put in place the night before. I was amazing how much he’d been able to do with the few tools he’d had available. He’d not only wedged a chair under the door handle, he’d also stacked several glasses from the bathroom next to the door so that they’d tip over and make noise if someone tried to enter while we were asleep. Between the curtains and the sheers on the windows, he’d hung several of the heavy metal coat hangers. If anyone had tried to get in, they would have made a racket.
“You’re pretty inventive,” I commented.
“Well, I had to work with what I had,” he replied as he moved things around and set up the system for while we were gone.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“I want to make sure that if Dominic tries to break in, he won’t have an easy time,” Brian answered. “I also want to make sure that I’ll know exactly what went on in here if someone breaks and then leaves.”
“A little paranoid, are you?” I laughed nervously.
“I’m surprised you’re not,” he said seriously.
I looked at the floor and said nothing. I was scared that Dominic had already done something to make sure he knew my every move. He’d done it before. Remembering how he’d bugged even the bathroom in our apartment and then used the smallest infraction to give him cause to beat me, made me shudder.
“You okay?” Brian asked with a concerned look on his face.
“Yeah, just…” I trailed off. I didn’t want to drag him any further into this mess, but I felt like maybe I should tell him everything in order to ensure that we both remained safe.
“Just what?” he asked quietly.
“Just bad memories,” I replied distractedly. Telling Brian about Dominic’s experience with surveillance could wait until we had something to eat. “Let’s go get some breakfast, okay?”
“Alright, let’s go,” he replied warily. I knew he didn’t believe me and that he was waiting for the right moment to ask the questions that would give him a better sense of what was going on, but right now I was too hungry to worry about it, so I smiled and headed toward the door.
On the way down to breakfast, Brian resumed his eagle-eye scanning habit and gave every person that passed us the once over. I wanted to tell him to chill out, but somehow it didn’t seem like he would find any humor in it, so I kept quiet and walked toward the restaurant. We’d decided not to leave the hotel, but rather to have breakfast downstairs in the relative safety of the hotel.
Brian chose a table in the back where he could monitor the comings and goings of everyone. I didn’t care what he did, I just wanted waffles.
I ordered a big breakfast and then sat back and watched Brian watching people. I wondered what was going through his mind as his eyes scanned every person entering and exiting the restaurant.
“You must get tired,” I said.
“Huh?” he gave me a confused look.
“You must get really tired using your eyes as tracking devices,” I repeated.
“Don’t start hassling me, Ava,” he warned.
“I’m not hassling you,” I replied. “I’m just making an observation. There’s a big difference.”
“In semantics,” he said with a warning note in his voice.
“No, it’s not just semantics,” I shot back. “It’s an observation about the fact that you are scanning faster than a grocery store checker, and I thought it must be tiring to always be scanning everything.”
“I don’t even notice I’m doing it,” he replied. “It’s just part of who I am.”
“Still,” I said.
“Still, what? Dammit, Ava!” he raised his voice in irritation.
“Don’t get irritated with me,” I warned. “I’m tired of all of this cloak and dagger crap.”
“Lest you forget, this cloak and dagger crap is all about protecting you,” he hissed.
“I did not ask you to —”
“Are you ready for a big Belgian waffle with strawberries?” chirped the waitress as she began to set plates in front of us. Brian and I lapsed into a polite silence during which we only spoke to the waitress. She giggled nervously as she asked if there was anything else we needed, and when we both replied that we were fine, she slipped out of sight and left us to eat our meal.
I said nothing as I smeared butter on my waffle and then covered it in a thick pool of syrup. Brian cut up his eggs, mixed them with the potatoes and then poured catsup over the entire mix. I tried not to roll my eyes as I watched him scoop up a forkful of the mess and shove it in his mouth. He continued scanning the restaurant as we ate, once stopping his fork in midair as he closely watched a man who was paying his bill at the register.
“Let it go,” I hissed through a mouthful of waffle and strawberries. “Just eat your damn breakfast!”
Brian shot me a look that clearly indicated I was to shut the hell up. I ate my breakfast, but the longer we sat in silence the angrier I got. I didn’t ask to be cleared out of my dorm room! I didn’t ask to be sequestered in a stupid hotel far, far away from my friends and classes! I didn’t ask to be stuck in the middle of a psychotic ex-boyfriend and the bodyguard assigned to protect me! I didn’t ask for any of this!
Suddenly I felt incredibly sorry for myself. All of this was a mess that I had never wanted nor asked for, and now my life was being ruined by a man who had left me with nothing but a host of invisible wounds. I needed to take control of the situation and get myself out of this mess, not rely on a guy who was clearly in over his head, and was overwhelmed by the task.
“Brian?” I ventured.
“What?” he said in a short manner not looking at me.
“I want to go back to the dorm,” I said.
“What the hell is wrong with you, Ava?” he demanded.
“Don’t you yell at me!” I cried. “I’m sick and tired of you making all of the decisions and I’m sick and tired of letting that psycho rule my life!”
“Me making all the decisions? Me?” Brian raised his voice as he pounded a fist on the table making the plates jump and causing the other guests to look over at us. He raised a hand in apology and leaned back in his chair.
“Yes, you’re making all the decisions about how to manage this situation and I’m tired of it,” I replied.
“If you recall, you were the one who refused to involve the police and left me hanging out to dry,” he said.
“I know! But I didn’t want to give my father the impression that you couldn’t handle it!” I cried.
“Why? If he knew I needed help, he would get it, right?” he asked.
“No, he’d fire you and find someone else who could handle it and then…” I trailed off not wanting to say what I was thinking.
“And then what?” he pressed.
“And then I’d have to break in a whole new person and it’s a pain in my ass!” I said dryly. Brian shot me a dirty look as he reached in his pocket and pulled out his phone for the tenth time since we sat down.
“I need to take this call,” he said as he got up and moved out of earshot.
I signaled the waitress that I wanted to pay the bill and she quickly rushed over to take the credit card I held out. I needed an outlet for this frustration, and I knew just the thing.
*****
When Brian finally returned, I shot him a questioning look. When he shrugged in response, I picked up the receipt for breakfast, shoved it in my purse and got up from the table.
“I need to work out this morning,�
� I said matter-of-factly. “Let’s hit the gym.”
“Ava, I don’t think that’s the best idea,” Brian replied.
“Oh stop being such a worry-wart,” I scolded. “We’ve had zero problems thus far, and I don’t imagine that Dominic and his henchmen have any idea where we are.”
“You don’t know what they know,” he warned.
“Oh my God, you are such a nervous nelly!” I laughed. “Get over it, I need to work out and that’s what we’re doing.”
Brian shot me an annoyed look as we walked to the elevator and headed back to the room. I ignored his dark scowl and even whistled a little as the elevator lifted us to our floor. Once in the room, I heard to the bedroom and changed into my work out gear. It made me feel good to think about moving my body since we’d been sitting around in rooms for almost a week now.
“Ready?” I asked as I emerged from the bedroom. Brian was still scowling as he nodded and then headed out the door to check the hallway. I rolled my eyes dramatically as he checked both sides of the hall and the motioned for me to follow him back to the elevator.
“This spy routine is getting old,” I said sarcastically.
“Ava, if you can’t get on board with the protection plan, could you at least have the courtesy to not make sarcastic remarks about it?” he asked. There was something in the tone of his voice that made me stop and look at his face. He didn’t look happy at all, but I wasn’t happy either. In fact, I was pretty miserable at the moment. My whole life had been upended and he was acting like it was an inconvenience for him, when he’d been hired to ensure that this exact thing didn’t happen. As I thought about it more, I realized I was really angry.
“You know what? I’m tired of being told what to do and how to do it,” I asserted. “From now on, I’m running this show and you will do as I say. Got it?”
If looks could kill, I’d have been well on my way to the morgue, but he nodded and backed off as I jabbed the elevator button repeatedly. I didn’t care if he did have my best interests at heart, I was sick and tired of people trying to control me. When the elevator finally arrived, I stalked into it and crossed my arms over my chest. Brian entered the elevator and turned to face the front. I shot dirty looks at the back of his head as we descended to the ground floor. When we reached the bottom, Brian stood aside as the doors slid open and held out his arm like I was royalty. I shot him a look as I exited and marched toward the gym.
