Sophie rested her chin on the heels of her hands and waited. If she knew anything, it was that you couldn’t rush buying a pair of shoes. She smiled fondly at the expensive thick paper bag with corded handles that resided by her feet. From the moment she had seen the new season’s pair of Luc Berjen tweed shoes in the shop window to the moment she had handed over her credit card, her heart had beat like a drum; now she felt elated and content. In her admittedly limited experience, shoe shopping was so much more satisfying than sex, with the afterglow lasting much longer and leaving behind much less mess. Which was why she jumped off her stool when her cell phone’s polyphonic version of “Love Lift Us Up Where We Belong” boomed out.
The girls stopped as if they were playing a reverse version of musical statues and stared at her for a moment before continuing their activities.
“Good news,” Maria Costello said in her ear. “I’ve found him.”
“You’ve found him?” Sophie said in disbelief. Bella looked up at her sharply and, sitting down with a bump, shushed a dizzily giggling Izzy, who had collapsed on the floor next to her. “You found a replacement ice sculptor so soon, Lisa? Well done,” Sophie said carefully.
“More or less,” Maria said. “At least I think I’ve found the country he’s in. I’m almost sure. I think he’s in Peru. From what I can tell, he’s been there for about two years. That’s if he hasn’t moved on since the last time my contact saw him…”
“Who’s your contact.” Sophie asked.
There was a sharp intake of breath. “I never reveal my contacts, love.”
Sophie rolled her eyes; she was starting to think that Maria took the whole spy thing ever so slightly too seriously. She was secretly certain that, whoever Maria’s contact was, it was nothing more mysterious than one of Louis’s conquests, who would no doubt be littered around the world while he lived his life of Riley.
“And so?” Sophie pressed. “Got an ETA? One day? Two?”
“I said I think he’s in Peru,” Maria replied sarcastically. “It’s a pretty big place, Peru. I’ll try to locate him from my nerve center, but if not, I might have to go out there. You’ll have to foot the bill, mind you, and I always go business class on flights over four hours.”
Sophie’s heart sank. “Maria, Lisa, I mean. Be honest with me, are you going to find…my ice sculptor, or am I throwing my money away for nothing?”
“Did you know he was in Peru before I started looking?” Maria asked irritably. “Did anyone?”
“No,” Sophie said hesitantly. “But are you sure he is?”
“Look, love, I’m a private detective, all right? I’ll find him. And I’ll call you when I know more.”
“There’s just one thing,” Sophie said. “Do you know what he’s doing in Peru?”
But Maria had hung up.
It was then Sophie saw Bella watching her intently. “You have to go a long way to get ice sculptors these days,” she told the six-year-old.
What had begun as a quick trip to buy prizes had gone very well and had resulted in both of the girls fully appreciating Sophie: Izzy because she loved her new fairy dress and because Sophie didn’t make her take it off when they left the shop but instead made the assistant cut off all the labels and remove the security tag with the child still in it. And Bella because after she had regretfully put back the pink shoes in favor of the more sensible boots, Sophie had gone and bought her the shoes too. Sophie had felt good about herself then, almost as if she would get through the next few weeks with her life intact after all.
This, Sophie had decided, was what being a godmother was all about—although it probably also had something to do with religion. But still—buying presents and being popular was definitely where it was at. Her smugness lost a little of its shine when she realized that she had never made the effort to do even this bit for more or less all of the girls’ lives until now. In fact, all she had ever done as their godmother up to this point was to turn up to the christening and send her PA out to buy presents three times a year. Sophie wondered, if Carrie had told her about Louis’s leaving her, if she had told her about being on her own with the children and evoked their old promise, would she have made more of an effort to see her old friend? Would she have had more to do with the children? To be perfectly honest, she didn’t know. She would probably have just assumed that she and Carrie were different people now, that Carrie had her own support network down in St. Ives, her own collection of new and different friends who seemed to help her get along very well without Louis until fate stepped in and fucked everything up for her. Until somehow the girls arrived on Sophie’s doorstep and all of those girlhood promises and pacts Sophie and Carrie had made to each other seemed vitally important again.
So it was a peculiar mix of guilt and pleasure that led Sophie to take the girls to several other shops and buy them more clothes. And when in one shop they had both stopped and picked up identical orange stuffed cat toys and hugged them as if their little lives depended on them, she bought those too, along with a baby doll for Izzy and a giant drawing and painting set for Bella.
There had been a slight wobble on the way home when, seeing Izzy screw her fists into her eyes and yawn, Sophie had tentatively suggested a taxi. Izzy had been on the point of a total nervous collapse when out of nowhere, exactly like a knight in shining white armor bar the armor, Jake Flynn had suddenly appeared.
“Goodness me, what a beautiful dress,” he’d told Izzy, whose mouth had frozen in midwail and transformed into a smile.
“Thank you,” she’d said prettily. “I am beautiful, aren’t I?”
“Jake!” Sophie had said, managing to sound both grateful and surprised.
“Cal told me you’d been into the office today,” Jake had said, with slight reproach. “I would have come and taken you out for lunch if I’d known.” Sophie remembered his offers on the phone and realized that in the last few days she’d hardly had time to think about Jake at all. In her real life, she would have been obsessing over every nuance of their conversation for weeks while putting off any chance to find out what it really meant in case it really did mean something. In this life, though, she didn’t have time to think about it. It was an unlikely blessing.
“Who are you and what do you want with us.” Bella had asked Jake darkly.
Jake had laughed. Bella had not.
“I’m Jake,” he’d said. “I’m a friend of Sophie’s, and you are…?”
“Bella, and she’s my sister, Izzy. She’s only three, so she’s very stupid, she’ll talk to anyone.” Bella had looked up at Sophie. “Are you her boyfriend?” she’d asked.
Jake had paused and glanced at Sophie, who’d grinned stupidly and shrugged. “Not yet,” he had said with a slow smile. “But I’m working on it.”
“Her sofa smells of curry,” Bella had said helpfully. “And she plucks the hair from her top lip.”
Jake had laughed, and Sophie had hoped the chill of the evening would keep her from blushing.
“Well, Bella,” Jake had said, gallantly choosing to ignore the girl’s revelations, “you look like you’ve got plenty of booty in those bags. Are you going to get a cab home?”
“No, no, no, no, NO!” Izzy had begun to wind up her protests.
“Okay,” Jake had said, quickly picking up her bags. “Look, here’s the bus now. Come on, guys!” He’d picked up three of Sophie’s bags and swung Izzy onto the double-decker, helping Bella and then Sophie hop onboard.
As they’d found their seats, Sophie had stared at him. “You realize this isn’t the right bus?” she’d asked him, not sure whether to be enchanted or irritated.
“Really?” Jake had said. “Well, we’re off on a little detour then.” And Sophie had discovered that she was rather pleased.
Izzy had been charm personified on the ride home. She had not thrown one tantrum between the bus stop and Sophie’s front door, and had chatted happily to Jake about everything in her known universe.
As they’d collecte
d themselves and their bags on the pavement, Sophie had smiled gratefully at Jake. “Thanks so much,” she’d said, expecting him to catch the next cab back to civilization.
“Not a problem,” had responded. “Now which number are you? I’m dying for a cuppa.” And Sophie hadn’t been able to help but laugh, because cuppa sounded so funny in an American accent.
Jake stood beside Sophie in the kitchen as she made tea and poured out two glasses of milk as if it were the most natural thing in the world for him to be there.
“Am I being too much?” he asked her. “I’ll go if you like.”
Sophie considered the alternative. “No, please, stay,” she said, and Jake fixed her with this long, blue-eyed look that made her feel certain he was just about ready to kiss her.
“One lump or two?” she asked him, holding up the sugar bowl as a shield.
Jake smiled and took a step back. “None,” he said, wryly. “I’m abstaining. Apparently.”
They carried the drinks back into the living room to find Izzy fast asleep more or less where she had fallen right in the middle of the floor, her arms flung above her head in abandon.
“Shhhh,” Bella said, pointing down at her sister. “She’s asleep.”
Sophie smiled at the little girl, her mouth half-open, the half crescents of her long eyelashes sweeping the tops of her apple cheeks. She could definitely see why people liked their children when they were asleep. Even she felt rather fond of Izzy at that moment. She wasn’t quite sure, however, how parents managed to love their children for all the time they were awake.
“Here let me,” Jake said, and bending, he scooped Izzy into his arms. “Where now?” he whispered.
Sophie led him through to her bedroom and hastily smoothed the unmade duvet, motioning that he should lay Izzy on the bed. As he did so, Sophie drew the quilt up over her, leaving.
“No pajamas?” Jake asked her, trying not to smile.
“No,” Sophie said quite seriously. “You see, I’ve discovered that if you wake her up after even a few minutes of sleep, she thinks that she’s been asleep for a whole night and is ready for action again. It’s best not to risk it.”
The sight she saw when they came back into the living room made Sophie certain that the fragile peace was about to be shattered. Bella was sitting in Artemis’s chair, and so was Artemis.
“Don’t move a muscle,” Sophie whispered to Jake, who stood behind her, his way into the room blocked by her outstretched arm. He looked at Bella sitting with the big gray cat and seemed puzzled. But he didn’t know Artemis.
Bella sat with her feet tucked under her, hugging a cushion to her chest. The cat sat on the chair’s wide arm, her front paws curled neatly under her chest, watching the interloper intently with a green-eyed stare. Sophie held her breath, certain that at any moment the animal would pounce on Bella with the special fury she reserved for anyone (mainly Sophie) who was in her chair when she wanted to sit in it.
“Don’t make any sudden movements,” Sophie said, keeping her voice low and even. “Just keep your hands in view and step away from the chair.” Bella raised the palm of her left hand hesitantly as Sophie had instructed, but instead of getting off the chair, she reached out ever so slowly and stroked Artemis just behind the ears. Sophie closed her eyes and braced herself for the screaming. “Bloody hell,” she whispered to Jake.
She opened her eyes again. And the strangest thing had happened. Instead of ripping Bella’s eyes out, Artemis didn’t move except to tip her head slightly to one side, clearly indicating exactly where she wanted to be scratched. Instinctively, Bella obliged, and after a beat, the room was filled with a loud, completely unexpected rattle.
Artemis was purring. Sophie had only heard the cat purr once before, and that had been with one of the helpers in the shelter, just before she brought her home. She’d been waiting three years for Artemis to purr for her.
“Bloody hell!” Sophie said again, but this time her voice was filled with awe.
“What is going on?” Jake asked her.
“Nothing!” Sophie exclaimed in wonder.
“Yep,” Jake said, raising both his brows and crossing his arms. “That’s what I thought.”
Carefully Sophie eased into the room, sat down on the edge of the sofa, and watched the tableau of cat and girl, a tiny smile turning up the corners of her mouth. “She likes you,” Sophie said.
“Cats do like me,” Bella answered, still looking at Artemis. “We…Well, when we were at home, we had a giant cat called Tango because he was orange, but…but when we had to go and live with Grandma, he had to go into a home, because Grandma is allergic to cats, and now I don’t know who he lives with.” Bella turned her profile a little farther away from Sophie. “So I know that cats like me.”
Sophie slipped off the edge of the sofa and knelt on the floor in front of the chair. “But Artemis doesn’t even like me, Bella,” she said without jealousy. “I’m just her landlady. For her to let you stroke her like that after only knowing you for a few days must mean that you are a very, very special person.”
“Really?” Bella said, looking at Sophie.
“Really,” Sophie said. And because she felt suddenly so grateful to Bella, and because she sensed that she needed her too, Sophie put one arm around the girl’s shoulders and gave her a little hug.
“Thank you,” she said. “For making Artemis feel safe and happy.” She covered Bella’s free hand with her own and squeezed it gently. Artemis shot out a paw and scratched the back of Sophie’s hand in one fluid movement, giving her a most irritated look before hopping off the chair and running past Jake and into the hallway.
“Ouch,” Sophie said, looking at the four red welts that had begun to rise on the back of her hand.
“Sorry,” Bella said, looking worried. “I’m sure she didn’t mean it.”
Sophie laughed. “Oh, she meant it. But you know what? It doesn’t matter. I’m just glad she’s found a friend. She really needed one.”
Bella and Sophie smiled at each other, and Sophie realized it was the first time they had truly connected since Bella had arrived in her life. It was as if she had caught a fleeting glance of the little girl who was in there somewhere, hiding behind the protective outer layer. Sophie felt a curious jump in her abdomen as she watched Bella retreat again; it had felt just for a moment as if she had been talking to Carrie. But Bella glanced at Jake, still standing in the door way and any trace of Carrie was gone in an instant.
“If Artemis liking me after just a bit means I’m a special person…” Bella began slowly.
“Yes?” Sophie said with a smile, hoping to coax that other Bella out again.
“Does that mean that her not liking you after three years means that you are a rubbish one?”
Sophie thought for a moment. “Probably,” she conceded. She was getting used to Bella’s blunt observations, and beside, she didn’t have the energy to be offended by a six-year-old.
“Well, I love Artemis, Aunty Sophie, but I think she’s wrong. I don’t think you’re rubbish. I think you’re not bad, really. Actually, I like you—you are funny.” Bella patted Sophie’s knee in commiseration. “It’s been an awfully long day. Can I go to bed?”
“Absolutely,” Sophie said hastily, sounding possibly a bit too pleased.
“Should I brush my teeth?” Bella asked her.
“You’d better,” Sophie replied. “At least once every other day is the recommended minimum.”
“Is he going home now?” Bella nodded at Jake, who had come into the room and sat on the arm of the sofa.
“In a little bit,” Sophie said.
“He’ll probably want to kiss you. Bleugh,” Bella said, wrinkling up her nose.
“I’ll tell you what,” Sophie said. “I’ll come and brush my teeth with you.”
Well, there was no harm in being prepared.
Half an hour later, Sophie offered Jake a glass of warm Baileys.
“Sorry,” she said. “It’s all
I’ve got, unless you want another ‘cuppa’?”
Jake smiled and took the glass from her hand, so that the tips of his fingers brushed hers. “No, I think I need something a little stronger.”
Sophie took a bigger gulp of her Baileys than was probably ladylike.
“You know,” she said reflectively. “I work sometimes from eight in the morning to ten at night—later than that if we’ve got an event on. I don’t take a break or stop for lunch, I keep going, and at the end of the day I’m tired, but not this tired. I’ve never been this tired before in my life and…” She demonstrated her exhaustion quite eloquently by drifting off into silence.
Jake watched her for a second or two before putting his glass down, taking hers out of her hands, and setting it beside his. “You are doing amazingly well,” he said.
Sophie looked rather longingly at her glass. “Thank you,” she said.
“I mean, from the moment I met you, I got all the obvious things about you right away,” he told her. “I got that you are beautiful and clever and formidable.”
“Formidable?” Sophie repeated the word uncertainly.
“I like a challenge,” Jake said with a grin. “What I’m trying to say, Sophie, is I like and admire you. I’m really attracted to you. But all this? Seeing you handle it all with such grace and goodwill…”
“Well…” Sophie wasn’t sure about that last part.
“You’ve blown me away,” Jake said. “I think I could really fall for you, Sophie Mills.”
Sophie froze. “Oh,” she said. And then, “Um, how nice.”
“I’m going too fast, aren’t I?” Jake asked her.
Sophie shook her head. “No, no—I mean—Look, Jake, it’s just there’s so much going on in my life right now. So much I’ve got to keep on top of. There’s work and that’s so important and the girls of course I’ve got to get their dad back otherwise they’ll go into foster care and that would be wrong. I don’t think that now is the right time to start anything…” Sophie was almost unable to believe what she was saying. For the last few weeks, whenever she had thought about Jake, she had imagined what it would be like to hear him saying these words or something very like them to her. Now that he was, she felt like leaping up and opening all the windows and washing the kitchen floor. Maybe Cal was right about her. Maybe she did have intimacy issues, whatever intimacy issues might be. Maybe she did like the idea of Jake falling for her much more than she liked the reality.
The Accidental Mother Page 12
