‘Mrs Leybourne, are you in there?’ Mrs Headley's voice came from the other side of the door, quickly followed by a couple of raps in quick succession.
The noise catapulted Alice out of her meanderings. ‘Come in, Mrs Headley.’
The brass door handle squeaked as it slowly turned. ‘Sorry to disturb you, miss…’
Alice smiled. ‘Don't worry. I was only staring out of the window, lost in my own thoughts.’ She walked over to the bed and sat down.
Mrs Headley frowned. ‘I was beginning to worry, because I’d knocked a couple of times and thought something must be wrong.’
‘Sorry…’
Mrs Headley shook her head. ‘Oh no, miss, you don't need to say sorry to me. I should be apologising to you, for talking too much.’
Alice laughed. ‘Don't worry. As far as I'm concerned, you’re part of the family, so you talk away.’
Mrs Headley lowered her head. ‘That's very kind of you, miss, but I shouldn't overstep the mark.’ She suddenly remembered her reason for knocking on the door. ‘Oh, I almost forgot, the post has arrived. I came up straight away because there’s one for you.’ She held out her hand containing the envelope.
Alice kept her eyes on the letter as she licked her dry lips. ‘Mrs Headley, do you have any family fighting in this dreadful war?’
Mrs Headley shook her head. ‘No, miss. I suppose, at this time, with the war on and all, I am quite fortunate to be on my own, although I wouldn't have said that last year.’
‘I never realised you had no family around you,’ Alice whispered.
‘There is no reason that you should, miss.’ Mrs Headley paused, looking down at the envelope in her hand. ‘I wasn't blessed with children and my husband died some years back. Something to do with his lungs I think; they did say, but I didn't understand it.’
Alice looked up for the first time. ‘You must miss him?’
‘You get used to it, miss.’ Mrs Headley looked up and saw the pain etched on Alice Leybourne's face. ‘Let's face it, you don't have any choice.’
‘No, I suppose that's true. At least, that's what Victoria, Miss Appleton says.’ Alice's eyes filled with water. She blinked rapidly, in a bid to stop the floodgates from opening.
Mrs Headley offered the envelope again. ‘You’ve got to look after yourself, miss, especially if…’
Alice stared wide-eyed at the housekeeper. ‘If what?’
Mrs Headley tightened her lips. ‘No, I’ve said too much already.’
‘You can't leave it like that.’ Alice's voice could have broken a dozen glasses. ‘What do you know? What aren't you saying?’ Pain gripped her chest. She wrapped her arms around her body and found herself swaying back and forth. Did the housekeeper know what was in that envelope?
Mrs Headley frowned for a moment, before giving Alice a smile. ‘I could be wrong, but I think you could be blessed with a great gift, miss.’
Alice frowned. ‘What?’ She jumped up, but instantly sat down again as the room began to spin.
‘Are you all right, miss?’ Mrs Headley walked over to the jug of water and poured a small amount into a glass. ‘Here, sip this and sit still until it passes.’
Alice did as she was told; pleased she wasn't on her own. ‘This keeps happening to me. What with that and the nausea, I feel ill all the time. I think it may have started when I began driving the ambulance. Perhaps I'm overdoing it and just need to rest more.’
Mrs Headley smiled at her. ‘I think you’ll find it started earlier than that and you might need to rest more, but I don't think you are ill, miss’. She hesitated for a moment, before continuing. ‘I think you could be carrying the next Leybourne generation, miss.’
Was Mrs Headley right? Alice added up the weeks since her wedding night. Was it possible? Surely she’d have known, wouldn't she? She tried to remember when the sickness had first started. Alice ran her hand across her stomach. Had it changed shape? She thought not.
Mrs Headley fought the urge to wrap her arms around Alice. ‘The sickness must be nearly over.’
‘I don't know…’ Alice stopped, to try and focus her thoughts. ‘It hadn't occurred to me…’
‘You should probably get the doctor to check you over.’ Mrs Headley clucked, wanting to make a fuss of Alice. ‘Do you want to lie on the bed, perhaps have a rest?’
Alice gave a little chuckle. ‘Thank you, Mrs Headley. I’m fine, just shocked. I don't understand why it never occurred to me.’
Mrs Headley frowned. ‘Too busy worrying about everyone else, that's why. You need to start taking care of yourself and eat properly, because when that husband of yours comes home, he isn't going to want to find his wife is ill, or even worse, that he's a widower alone with a child.’
Alice looked across at the housekeeper and laughed.
‘You may laugh, but these men can't raise children. It's not what they’re meant to do, which is why they can't do it as well as a woman. What's more, you've got to think about that baby now. It isn't just about you; there’s life growing.’ She sighed as her eyes welled up. ‘Trust me when I say cherish it. It may be the only chance you get.’
‘You seem to know a lot about these things, Mrs Headley,’ Alice whispered, fighting the urge to give the housekeeper a cuddle.
Mrs Headley wiped her eyes with the front of her apron. ‘I may not be wealthy, miss, but I’ve seen a lot in my time.’
Alice nodded, longing to ask more, but not wanting to pry.
Mrs Headley thrust the letter in front of Alice. She sat transfixed. Was it giving her bad news? Could she be receiving two lots of shocking news in one day? She wanted to take the envelope, but fear kept her rooted to the spot. Instinctively, she ran her hand across her stomach.
‘I’ve noticed you do that a lot.’
‘Sorry,’ Alice whispered. ‘Do what a lot?’
Mrs Headley smiled. ‘Protect the baby you didn't know you were carrying. I think it must be instinct.’
Alice smiled. She looked down at her hand resting on her stomach. ‘Freddie would be over the moon if he knew.’ Her eyes dropped to the letter, wondering how an envelope could instil so much fear.
‘Don't worry, miss,’ Mrs Headley said. ‘It's not a telegram.’
Alice's eyes didn't leave the envelope as she reached out to take it. ‘Thank you, Mrs Headley,’ she whispered. ‘For everything.’
Mrs Headley nodded. ‘I shall be downstairs, should you need me.’ Turning and walking towards the doorway, she twisted around to give Alice a last look, but she was transfixed on the letter, rotating it over and over in her hands. Mrs Headley shook her head, before quietly closing the door behind her.
Alice took a deep breath as she slipped her index finger under the seal and tore the envelope open. She pulled out the piece of paper. Her lips straightened before she unfolded it.
To my darling Alice,
A drop of water landed on the top of the paper.
I have been receiving your letters and they are a great comfort to me. Charles has received a few from Molly, so we share our news. I think she could be writing to him every day, which pleases him. Unfortunately, I can't tell you where we are, but Charles and I are sharing the same trench so we are both well, although we are tired of having wet feet and share it with a few rats as well. I want you to know you are never out of my thoughts, even though I am not writing to you as much as I would like. Charles and I spend our spare time talking about family and the things we miss, like hot water, clean clothes and food other than the tins of bully beef we seem to be living on.
We have heard rumours that the Germans are going to use a poisonous gas on us and, apparently, the gas masks are on order. In the meantime, we have been told to pee on one of our socks and hold it over our noses with the other sock. It's not something I shall look forward to, but if it keeps me alive, I shall do it. Huh, it's all great fun.
I keep reliving our wedding day, and of course the night we spent together. I can't wait to wake up in your arms again.
Until I can write again, please don't forget I love you with all my heart. One day, I will be home and our life together can start.
Always yours,
Freddie.
Alice clutched the letter to her chest. A sob escaped as tears ran down her cheeks. He was alive and with Charles. She laughed and cried at the same time. They were safe. No one had heard from Robert and no one mentioned it, for fear of upsetting their mother, or starting their father on a rant about how he would be too busy to write. They had to keep hoping he was safe, at least until a telegram arrived to tell them otherwise. Alice shook her head. She had watched the boy who delivered the bad news rest his bike against railings, knock, leave the telegram, quickly run back to his bicycle and pedal away. Before the war, he would have waited to see if a response was needed, but not anymore. She pulled the letter away from her, silently giving thanks it was not a telegram. She stared at Freddie's scrawled handwriting. She chuckled, likening it to a spider crawling across the page, but she didn't care. It was her letter, to be cherished forever. She pulled it towards her body and hugged it. A smile slowly formed on her lips as she wondered whether she should read the letter to their baby, and whether she should tell Freddie he was going to be a father. Doctors first, decisions later.
*
Alice drove the ambulance up to the arch of Victorian Station. Her heart was pounding. Her fingers adjusted the stiff belt around her calf-length, khaki coat. She had accompanied her mother there many times, to give the wounded soldiers cups of tea and soup. She’d never spoken to any of them. Her job was to pour the hot liquid into the cups. Alice trembled as she remembered the shock at seeing so many broken young men, some more lucid than others, their faces weather-beaten and lined from their experiences. Their boots and coats were caked in dried mud from the trenches. She had soon grown used to the stench of unwashed bodies; it no longer made her retch. Her mother had shown care and compassion, giving a few kind words to reassure them they were home now and would be well looked after. Some didn't want to talk. Some couldn't talk.
Perhaps signing up for this had been a mistake; this was more Lily's type of thing than hers. The initial excitement she’d felt about being a policewoman and talking to people on the streets was being fulfilled.
Freddie and her brothers leapt into her mind. She closed her eyes. Wouldn't she have wanted someone to help them, someone to be brave? Her mother had been brave, listening to their stories of the horrors they’d seen and the shock of seeing the men next to them blown up. Sarah never once mentioned that she had two sons and a son-in-law fighting. Alice shook her head; she wasn't as strong as her mother. The stories had kept her awake at night. Her mother told her to try and detach herself in some way. She had no choice, if she was going to survive looking after the soldiers.
Alice parked and took a couple of deep breaths, trying to stop her chest from pounding. She was on her own now; her mother wasn't there to make up for what she lacked. ‘Come on, you can do it.’ She took another deep breath and got out of the vehicle. A dog barking startled Alice, as a car sputtered into life behind her. But this isn't just handing out drinks, the tortured voice in her head screamed back at her. You’d want someone to be nice to the people you loved. Stop thinking so much and get on with it. She nodded, but didn't notice the lady nodding back as she walked past. Alice painted on her best smile and stepped onto the station concourse. Thick grey smoke billowed from the trains, swirling around in the air. It would linger on her clothes long after she had left the station.
‘Hey fellas, now that's what we’ve been missing, beautiful ladies with a beautiful smile.’ A soldier grinned.
Alice flushed with colour as she turned to look at him. His leg was covered in a bandage, spattered with mud, and blood was starting to seep through.
‘Damn these bandages. I can't see,’ another one shouted out. ‘Describe her to me.’
Alice lifted her chin and took another couple of steps.
‘She's a cracker.’
A tiny voice came from behind her. ‘Please tell us you’re here to help us, miss.’
Alice turned to see another man lying on a stretcher. ‘Yes, I am,’ she whispered.
‘Don't let these men frighten you. They’re just glad to be back in dear old blighty and to see a friendly face.’
Alice nodded, before taking another deep breath. ‘All right.’ She raised her voice a little.
‘You need to speak up, sweetheart; we can't hear you up this end,’ a mysterious voice called out. ‘Especially Private Tanner; he’s deaf.’ Everyone laughed.
Alice blushed.
‘Don't be embarrassed, love. It's just our humour. It’s either laugh or shoot ourselves.’
Alice cleared her throat. ‘I’m going to be taking you all to Charing Cross Hospital, which is just off The Strand. I can't take you all at once, so I'll have to assess the urgency. Do you understand?’
‘You can assess my urgency any time you like, love.’
Colour crept up Alice's neck as the soldiers all laughed.
*
The girls sat in the plush surroundings of Café Monico, in Regent Street. The constant buzz of conversation filled the room. The waitresses, wearing black dresses covered with white aprons, edged with wide frills and a white cap, moved around the room like a well-rehearsed dance troupe.
‘I love this place.’ Victoria looked around her. ‘Although I'm not sure I like seeing myself in the arched mirrors on the wall.’ She patted the bun nestling at the nape of her neck.
Molly followed her lead and looked around her. ‘It does feel very grand, probably too grand for me.’
Alice laughed. ‘Nothing’s too grand for us, Molly Cooper.’
Molly raised her voice a little. ‘It’s obviously a popular place.’
Alice looked through the spirals of smoke that reached up to join the cloud above their heads. ‘That's because of their chocolate cake.’
‘Hmm, it is lovely.’ Molly fidgeted in her seat and straightened her light blue, three-quarter-length jacket, before loosening the wide belt that pinched in her waist. ‘Don’t you just love the shorter skirts?’ Molly giggled.’ My father went berserk when he first saw me wearing the calf length. He thought I was turning into a woman of the night.’
The girls laughed as one.
‘That sounds about right. Your father sounds as bad as mine.’ Alice smiled. ‘And yet I always thought of him as being more relaxed about things.’
Molly tilted her head in thought. ‘I suppose he is, except when it comes to his daughter.’
The waitress brought over the tray of tea things, carefully placing the blue floral china crockery in front of them. She bobbed before she turned and walked out of view.
‘I'm pleased to say you look a little better today, Alice. A couple of months ago, I thought you were on your way out.’ Molly laughed. ‘You'll hate me for saying this, but I think you’ve even put on weight.’ She held up her hand to stop Alice from talking. ‘I wanted to say you look so much better for it.’
Alice laughed, raising her eyebrows. ‘Look at you, holding your hands up to stop me from talking. Only my father gets away with that.’
Victoria smiled as she opened the lid of the teapot and placed the teaspoon inside, watching the hot liquid swirl around as she stirred it. Listening to them made her realise how much she had missed their company. Shame consumed her when she thought about the dreadful things she’d yelled at Alice, that day.
Molly laughed. ‘Sorry, but I knew you weren't going to let me finish.’
‘I can't imagine Alice, or anybody else for that matter, being able to stop you in mid-sentence.’ Victoria giggled.
Molly watched the tea turn a lovely shade of brown as the leaves brewed. ‘Very funny, Vicky.’
‘Don't call me Vicky It's Victoria. I was named after the great queen.’
Alice sighed. ‘Will you two stop squabbling and just pour the tea. Our cake will be here soon.’
Victoria removed the spoon
and replaced the lid of the teapot. ‘Shall I pour?’
Molly looked at Victoria and laughed. ‘Go on then, you be mum.’
Alice looked at her two dear friends and smiled mischievously. ‘I think you'll find, that’ll be me.’
Both girls looked across at Alice, confusion running across their faces.
Molly folded her arms in front of her. ‘What?’
Victoria moved her hand away from the china teapot. ‘You can pour if you want. I only offered because I’d been stirring it.’
Alice laughed. ‘No silly, I’m going to be a mum.’
The girls' jaws slackened as they tried to take in the information.
Molly's hand grabbed Alice's arm. ‘You’re going to be a mum, as in Freddie’s going to be a dad?’ Her frown deepened with every word she said.
Alice's laughter got louder. She placed her hand over her mouth. ‘Yes, I’m going to have a baby. Freddie and I are having a baby.’
Laughter erupted around the table. Other customers looked across, whispering to each other.
‘Sshh,’ Alice whispered. ‘We’re getting some disapproving looks.’
Molly looked around the room. ‘I know there's a war on, but when good news is announced, we need to make the most of it.’ She spoke loudly, not caring everyone could hear her. ‘God knows, we've all had enough bad news.’
The waitress appeared, carrying three tea plates, each holding a large slice of chocolate cake.
‘Oh, this looks delicious.’ Molly gazed adoringly at the plate that had been placed in front of her, accompanied by a silver cake fork.
‘It certainly does, and I think you'll find it tastes delicious too.’ Victoria picked up the fork, but didn't touch her cake. She looked across at Alice. ‘This is really exciting news. How long have you known?’
Alice stared pensively at her cake, before looking up. ‘About a month, but you’re the only ones I’ve told, so you must keep it to yourselves.’
The Foyles Bookshop Girls Page 18
