by Dale Mayer
“I don’t think there’s anything that wears fur that I don’t love,” Meredith confessed, pushing her empty plate back and adjusting her chair slightly. “May I hold him?”
Stan gently passed the little dog over, who immediately licked Meredith’s neck and chin. She chuckled. “He’s lovely.”
“If you can hang on to him for a sec, I’ll grab a coffee.” And, just like that, Stan disappeared.
She laughed and scratched the little guy as he woofed slightly and snuggled in closer. She looked over at Gregory, a big grin on her face. “See? There are huge advantages to being here,” she said.
“For patients and staff apparently,” he said. “I half want to cuddle him myself, but I’m still eating.”
“And that’s the disadvantage of taking so much food,” Meredith teased. “I was done in half the time.”
“You just ate too fast,” he said. “I, on the other hand, am enjoying my meal.”
“That’s one way to look at it.” She snickered. “I often visit the clinic, spending some time with the foster animals. They all need love.”
“It’s great that this option is here,” Gregory said. “For the patients, it’s got to be a huge factor in their healing.”
“A lot of the animals need rehabilitation too because they’re petrified of people or are a little aggressive,” she said. “We integrate them slowly with our human patients, giving these abused animals time to get to know each other and then to get adjusted to being around the people here.” She kept on snuggling the dog while she spoke. “Most of our human patients are a whole lot slower at dealing with the animals, so the animals already sense that they’re injured and that they’re not as dangerous as some two-legged people.” She spoke softly, her tone holding no judgment or pity. “And, like this little guy here, he’s just lonely and wants to be loved.”
“I think that describes the ongoing state for a lot of us,” Gregory said in a cryptic remark.
She wondered at it but kept her voice low as she replied simply, “True enough.” Meredith avoided his gaze the entire time, instead focusing on wrapping both arms around the puppy and hugging him affectionately. Seeing Stan coming toward her, Meredith stood. “Can you carry him and your coffee, or do you want me to come with you?”
He laughed in delight. “You just want to come and spend time with this little guy.”
“That’s true.” She didn’t deny it. Glancing down at Gregory, Meredith bade him goodbye as she picked up her tray with her free hand, then filled it with her empty dishes and disappeared.
Sure, it was running away. But sometimes taking the closest exit was the smartest thing. Gregory would be here for months, and there would be an awful lot of stress and tough times ahead for him. And for her. They had time to talk. And she wouldn’t push it right now.
She smiled at Stan as they took the back door down one level.
Stan looked at her and said, “Something in that exit of yours looked like you were escaping.”
“Absolutely,” she said. “We had a thing five years ago. I didn’t want him to go back into the navy, and he went.”
“Ouch,” he said. “Yeah, definitely going to be some fun times ahead.”
“No,” she responded. “Not really. He made a new life for himself, and I’ve made a new life for myself too.”
“I don’t believe that. From just those thirty seconds I spent around you two, I can feel the pent-up emotions. You’ve both got something to say to the other one. Maybe you and Gregory have been putting in the time to make it through the last five years, but circumstances have thrown you back together again,” he said with a gentle smile. “There’s a reason for that.”
“Sure,” she said. “It’s called closure.”
Well, Gregory got to spend some time with her. Obviously a lot of the people here were her friends, maybe even her family, in a loose way for her.
It had been nice to have her company over dinner. Yet she wouldn’t stick around just because of him. Maybe if things had gone differently five years ago, but they hadn’t. So, once again, he was the odd man out. A state Gregory should be used to but wasn’t.
Ever since he’d walked away from her, he’d found it difficult to adjust. His buddies had joked and had bugged him about it, and he had definitely been a good friend and a well-respected and revered part of their SEALs team, but he had felt differently after he and Meredith broke up. As if he’d left a part of himself behind. A part of himself that he knew he could never reclaim because of their circumstances. Because of their professional passions. Which unfortunately had been at odds with their personal passions.
Now here he was with her, and it was just a little too stunning to believe. He’d been shocked when he’d been accepted, then overjoyed, followed by complete panic. On the other hand, the food at this one-of-a-kind rehab center was delicious, and that filled a gaping appetite within him. Looking at Meredith revived another kind of appetite. But she was out of bounds to him now. By the time he finished eating and pushed his plate back, he was stuffed.
Dennis walked over with a big smirk on his face. “Well?”
“Delicious,” Gregory stated. “I was looking forward to trying out your desserts, but I’m too full.”
“You can take something back to your room,” Dennis said. “The one thing we do ask is that you not waste food. You’re welcome to all you can eat, but, if you’re not going to eat it, don’t take it.”
“That makes sense,” he said. “Keeps costs down too.”
“It’s the only way to keep costs down and to keep the quality of the food up. So it’s all good. You’re welcome to anything and everything you want, just make sure that you try to eat it.”
“I’ve got no problem with that,” Gregory said. “I’m going to make my way over there and grab a cup of coffee.”
“No need,” he said. “I’ll grab you one. Do you want cream or sugar?”
“Black,” Gregory said with a smirk. “Always pure black and strong.”
“I’ll see what I can do.”
Gregory watched as Dennis walked over, disposed of the tray of dishes on a big shelf that slipped through to the kitchen side and then poured a cup of coffee. As he returned, he said, “I’ve got fresh cinnamon buns coming out of the oven. They’re actually out now. We just iced them. … Do you want one?”
It was beyond him to say no, so he nodded and said, “I’ll sit here outside and try to recover from my trip, while I wait for room to show up in my stomach to eat that dessert. I presume tomorrow will start with a bang for me, and I guess this might be the last night I’ll enjoy myself for a while.” Gregory said it with a laugh, but he knew that some rehab sessions were brutally painful.
Dennis nodded. “I’m glad to see you know what’s coming,” he said. “It’s always so sad when I see somebody new, and they have no clue what to expect. I don’t know where they get the idea that a pill will fix them or an hour in a hot tub, like this is some spa or retreat. I guess it’s our general drive-through mentality coupled with our dependence on convenience. But that first day of PT will knock any misconceptions right out of them. It usually takes about six weeks before I see them again looking anything but agonized.”
“Are the therapists good here?” Gregory hated the note of anxiety in his voice and the nagging little voice in his head that slammed him for being more focused on Meredith than on the level of care Gregory might find here. Not that he hadn’t checked out some credentials here. But he would admit his main focus had been elsewhere. Besides, as far as his previous rehab center had been concerned, Gregory didn’t need to come here at all. But he had disagreed because he certainly wasn’t back to fit form, even for his new reality, and what Gregory wanted was to be as strong and as capable as he could be. In the present, given these new circumstances for him.
“They’re very good,” Dennis said, turning around to face him. “They’ll get you into shape, but you may not like their methods.”
“I’ve been beat
en up by a lot of therapists before,” he replied with a crooked grin. “I’m hoping for a helping hand that will unlock the secrets to getting my strength back. I have so many injuries that my body is still in shock.”
Dennis pondered that for a while before speaking. “Then you need to cut back on the meat and triple your vegetable intake to load up your body with the most nutrients possible from a variety of colorful foods that are easily digestible, saving your body’s energy for the more important healing matters,” he suggested. “Also the carbs can be eased back into your body slowly. After all, your body has enough healing to deal with right now. It needs its energy to be directed to that healing. Yes, these carbs are good for almost instant energy, but, if you flood your system with too much insulin, it’ll make you tired, and your body won’t give you the best performance of your life.”
At that, Gregory laughed. “Well, I certainly agree with some of that. I’m guessing you have a dietitian on staff, right?”
Dennis nodded. “I think we’ve got every medical-related profession covered in here. As soon as you think there’s a problem in any one direction, make sure you talk to somebody. Somebody here can give you a hand. Be right back.” Dennis returned a few moments later with a huge cinnamon bun slathered in cream cheese icing. Handing him a fork, he spoke, “It’s still pretty hot. You might want to use that.” He disappeared into the crowd again.
Gregory looked around to see the groups at the various tables had shifted and reformed with new groups, new people and new conversations. Several were out on the deck with him as the sun was still high. It was hot out here, but he didn’t want to go inside yet. He had felt smothered in the hospital environment. And not much less so in his previous rehab location. He still craved fresh air. But he also felt the fatigue, probably from the large dinner as Dennis had mentioned.
Not to mention the excitement and the stress of traveling and knowing he would meet Meredith again. And then, of course, meeting her, actually having dinner with her, and yet, searching for that same connection that they’d shared before, and not finding it had been draining. He could handle the physical stressors much easier than the emotional ones.
He didn’t know if their connection was gone because too much time had passed or because she had deliberately detached from him. He wouldn’t blame her if she had.
He’d had such high hopes when he’d realized he was coming here, and, right now, it looked like all of them were dashed.
Chapter 5
Meredith didn’t try to avoid Gregory for the next few days, but she did not go out of her way to stop in and say hi either. She did her job and carried on.
As it was, the staffing was a little challenging as one of the nurses went down sick, and another one was off on holiday, so routines got shuffled around, and job duties got shuffled around with them. On Gregory’s third day here, she ended up going to his room, back on his schedule as his day nurse. As she walked into his room, he looked up and smiled in surprise.
“Hey, I haven’t seen you in a while. Figured maybe you were avoiding me.”
“Of course not,” she said with a frown. “I’ve got no reason to. It’s just been crazy busy.”
He nodded, but it was a small nod. His gaze seemed searching.
She smiled reassuringly at him. “One of the nurses is on holiday, and one’s sick, so we all have to pitch in to cover these absences. We don’t have enough staff as it is, but Dani is interviewing. It takes time to find qualified people,” she explained. Then wondered if giving that many details made her seem defensive. She mentally shook her head. You’re his primary care nurse.
He settled back ever-so-slightly.
“How are you settling in?” she asked.
“Good,” he said. “It’s been pretty easy so far. … Almost like a holiday here.” He had a big grin on his face.
She smirked. “Well, it is, until it isn’t.”
He grimaced at that. “I hear you, but, so far, there’s been nothing I haven’t handled easily.”
“But you’re still in the testing stage, aren’t you?”
“Yes,” he said, “it seems like it. Every day they run me through another gamut of tests, whether its blood work, lab work, physio work, mental work, emotional work or something else.” He shook his head in disgust.
She laughed at that. “Well, what we ultimately want, when you get out of here, is a whole, healthy, strong person, and, if you’re lacking development in any of those areas,” she said, “then you’re in trouble all around.”
“I get the theory of that, but waiting to get started isn’t much fun.”
“Gotcha.” She finished checking him over. “Maybe this afternoon you will begin the real work.”
“I hope so. I’m starting to feel a little guilty even being here and taking up a bed as I’m not as bad as the rest of these guys.”
“You mean, the ones who wince and groan as they get up and get a cup of coffee and head back at a turtle’s pace and walk like they’re old men?” she asked, withholding her grin.
“Exactly, then I find out some of them have been here for a long time, and I realize how good I’m actually doing.”
“Well, I wouldn’t worry about it,” she said. “Once you start your PT, you might find you’re a little more related to those older-looking men than you think.”
He shook his head. “Not likely. I’ve already done lots of months of rehab.”
She didn’t say anything at that, just smiled gently. “Let’s hope in a couple days you feel the same way.”
Meredith knew that Gregory was following the pattern of a lot of the young men who came into this rehab center; coming in strong, a little bit arrogant and some of them cocky, they thought they could handle whatever was thrown at them. Once the staff started them on their custom programs, they broke down very quickly. She didn’t want to see Gregory at that stage, but she also knew how important it was for the therapists to get rid of that ego and to start digging in deep and finding out who the patients were and what they really wanted in their life and from their bodies.
Everyone needed to find out whether Gregory was prepared to work for the intended results or not.
Physiotherapy wasn’t for sissies, and, when they had multiple injuries—like Gregory, who’d come to a certain point and hadn’t progressed further—then it was time for a change, and, in this case, it would be a big disruptive change because nobody here did things quite the same way as they did at other rehab places.
She’d heard it time and time again. It started as a holiday but then almost turned into a prison camp by the time they got started because the rehab work required was intense and a lot was demanded of the patients. Now the good news was that, on the other end all that hard work, it paid off in spades, and the patients were overjoyed to be who they became.
The journey was not easy—or fast—nor was it something that they could take lightly. A lot of soul-searching went on. A lot of getting to the bottom of what was holding them back. They did have a psychologist on staff, and every patient had sessions with him. It was very important to make sure that the mental and emotional state of these patients was as healthy as their physical state, and, most of the time, these internal states were often in worse shape.
Some of these men had PTSD, and some had survived incredible traumas and losses: friends dying in front of them, commanders walking away, and sometimes whole teams being blown up, their lives with them.
She hadn’t attended any of those sessions because, of course, they were personal and private for the patients, but she’d heard from some of the men afterward about just how eye-opening those sessions were. But only after the men had reached a turning point, where they would actually discuss what they’d been through. And some of the men took months and months and months to get to that point. Some of them were much more open, in touch with who they were before they got here.
But she didn’t think Gregory would fit that category. But then, she could be wrong. It had been fiv
e years. Five very long years, and she, for one, had changed a lot. But now that she looked at him, she wondered if the changes she had gone through were all that good or if she’d changed all that much. She hadn’t been stressed physically as much as he had; she hadn’t been as challenged emotionally as he had; she hadn’t even had to walk away from her career as he had. And, in many ways, she wondered if she’d changed at all.
Gregory watched her leave with a thoughtful expression on his face. He had worried that she was avoiding him. That wasn’t what he wanted between them; to at least be friends would be nice. But, he had to admit, to be more than that would be better.
A hard knock came on the door, and he looked up to see Shane—his assigned therapist. He came into Gregory’s room, rubbing his hands together, gleefully saying, “You ready?”
Gregory nodded. “I am.”
“Well, you’ll know for sure pretty soon,” Shane said. He was a huge, six foot four, strappingly muscled man, but it was lean muscle, and he always carried a bright cheerfulness that Gregory envied.
Shane motioned at the wheelchair and said, “Come on in that. We’ll head over to the first room.”
“Why the wheelchair?” Gregory asked. He’d been to a lot of different therapy sessions, and he highly doubted it would be anything much. He’d done very well before, and his former therapists had always been positive and cheerful, giving Gregory lots of praise. He didn’t see how it would be any different here. Matter of fact, he was back to feeling guilty that he was even wasting their time.
Shane looked at him and said, “Trust me. The wheelchair might look easy now, but you’ll want it when you come back.”
Frowning at that and hoping Shane was wrong, Gregory made his way to the wheelchair, sat down and slowly wheeled his way behind Shane.
Shane walked in a steady line to one of the rooms Gregory had been in earlier for some testing. Shane motioned to him. “Wheel over to the side and stand up, then hop over here to this mat,” he said.
