by Stacy Reid
He moved with a cold air of lethal efficiency, lifted his Winchester, and shot the man standing close to Abraham, and it wasn’t in the knees. Abraham dropped her son while he spun to face the new threat. She cried out, rushing to her baby but knowing she wouldn’t reach in time. Kathy snatched him just before he landed on the grass, hugging him to her chest and rocking him while she sobbed. Beth’s entire body weakened as she sank to her knees in the grass.
Joshua didn’t shoot Abraham. Instead, he slammed the butt of the rifle to the side of his head. It was a nasty blow, and Abraham staggered back, his forehead split and dripping blood. Her breath held as Joshua slammed a fist into his gut, and with deadly grace got behind Abraham and placed a knife at his throat. He didn't hesitate, he sliced. Beth felt as if someone else watched as Abraham gripped his neck and collapsed to the earth. Her entire body started to tremble, and there was a dull roar in her head.
She stared at Joshua. Beth had never seen him that remorseless and savage. Blood streaked his face and soaked his shirt, and she knew none belonged to him. She was suddenly glad she hadn't seen him when he took those lives, for she also instinctively sensed he hadn't shot them in the knees. Those men had come for her and his son, and Joshua hadn't rounded them up for the law, he had been without mercy.
His father, and mother, and sister came charging through the trees with weapons in their hands. Her son was crying, and Beth could not move. Laura hurried over to her grandson, took him from Kathy and started to croon to him. Beth saw her lips move but could not make out the words. Everything inside of her seemed frozen, except for the hot wash of tears trailing down her cheeks.
Joshua said something to his mother, she nodded, and hugged Grayson to her and retreated down the mountain. August patted him on the shoulder, and Jenny hugged him, and then they left with Kathy. A few ranchmen started to drag the three bodies away, their blood a dark stain against the beauty of the grass.
The smell of blood assailed her nostrils. Bile rose in her throat at the sickly, metallic scent, and Beth dashed to the side and emptied the contents of her stomach in the grass. Dry heaves wracked her body, and she straightened to see Joshua hovering behind her.
She glanced around in a daze, and then down at her bloodied hand. I’ve killed a man. Her logical mind tried to tell her it was necessary, but the emotion tearing through her was unbearable. She hadn't just shot him, she had stabbed him in the throat. Beth glanced down, blood-soaked her dress, and suddenly she wanted it from her. She sprinted to the creek behind the cabin, sobbing as she waded into the chilly water. Beth dipped her entire body, scrubbing her skin, unable to stop crying. Then she rinsed her mouth with the fresh waters before drinking some.
There was a splash in the creek, and she spun around. Joshua was coming toward her. Beth stumbled toward him and flung herself at him. He caught her, staggering under the impact of her weight. Then he tightened his arms around her.
“I killed him…in front of my baby,” she gasped and swallowed, struggling to speak. “In front of my baby.”
Her words were barely above a whisper, and she needed to swallow to make any sound at all. She fisted the front of his shirt and screamed. He gripped her chin and lifted her face to his. There was a pain in his gaze and a lingering fear. His hands were shaking, she realized as he reached out to brush the wet hair back from her face.
“He’ll be fine,” he promised roughly. “He wasn’t hurt. I thought…I thought I wouldn’t make it in time.”
Then he dragged her up against his body. The top of her head barely reached his chin, and she felt small against his muscle’s hardness, but she knew this man would not hurt her.
Joshua framed her face with his still shaking hands and kissed her. It wasn’t gentle, it was rough and ravishing, and perhaps just what she needed to rip her mind away from the bodies that had been dragged away, and the smell of blood. With a sob, she responded, and he kissed her over and over until her heart eased and she trembled no more.
In a daze, she released him, her hands falling limply to her side. She had no idea who she was with this man. A few minutes ago, she had been in mortal combat for survival, and now she was burning with need and something so primal it left her afraid. The feeling of losing herself, her morality, and her sense of self, burrowed through her.
As if he sensed her struggle he kissed the corner of her lips. “There is nothing to be afraid of, this is normal.”
She gazed at him stupefied. “There is nothing normal about this, Joshua. You’re a killer. I’m a killer, and I do not want my son to be a killer.” She was determined to go Boston, back to the sanity and safety of civilization.
“You are not a murderer. Anyone with the right provocation can kill, and you were provoked. He hunted you across two territories when he had no right or claim to you in any way.”
“I don’t want to have a reason to take a life. I cannot stay here, oh God, what was I thinking?”
He jerked back, and it felt like she’d struck him.
“What are you saying?”
“I’m leaving with my son.”
“Our son.”
“I’m leaving, Joshua Kincaid,” she warned, fisting her hands at her side.
It mattered not they lingered in the cold creek. They stood there staring at each other, a storm of emotions brewing between them.
“I did not hunt these men and murder them, Bethany, they came here, hunting you, my son, my family," he said in a low, fury-tinged voice. "You expected me to show mercy to men who do not understand the word? If I'd shown them any clemency, they would have just gotten more men and returned.”
“I know,” she gasped raggedly, slapping a hand to his chest. “But don’t you see? That is why I must leave. It is an unending cycle of brutality. How long before you are called upon again to defend our lives, at the cost of your soul?”
“I am not worried about my soul.”
Her heart shattered. “But I am, and I am worried about Grayson’s. Will there be a time my son has to kill before he is even a man? Perhaps at sixteen he’ll be killing instead of preparing for university. The west is savage, at the best of times lawless, here men understand violence and little else. Boston is civilized, with law and order, and the two natures are opposed. You are the west, Joshua. You are raw and untamed like the very land itself…and I am the east.”
They stared at each other, the loss of everything she had been hoping for beating at her soul. She could not stay, and she knew the man before her would not leave. “I need to leave,” she breathed, rawly.
“Then go.”
She flinched, pain ripping her insides. She had never heard him this cold, not to her. But it tore something apart inside, something she feared would never be able to be whole again, if she lost him. "Joshua?"
“Yes?” he demanded gruffly.
“Come with me,” the plea slipped from her lips.
He cupped her cheeks, his eyes shadowed with powerful emotions she could not name. His touch sent her heart pounding against her ribs.
“Is it enough for me to move back with you?”
“I—”
“Or will you want me to change the manner of man I am?”
“Maybe if you saw how things were done back east, it would—”
His hands tightened at her nape. “I want you to love the man I am Bethany, not who you think I can be.”
Love? Her entire soul trembled. “Do you love me, Joshua?”
He dropped his forehead to hers, and she reached up to clasp his forearm. Inexplicably his answer was more important to her than anything else.
Guilt darkened his gaze. “I knew Abraham would come, men like him who prey on the weak are excited by the chase of breaking and conquering. I ignored every instinct in me and did not put him down when I had the chance. I wanted to prove to you that I could be the type of man you needed. I was stupid. And it almost cost you…and our son your lives. Never again, Bethany. Can you accept that?”
She stared at him in
mute shock.
“Do you love the man I am?”
Her tongue would not loose, and Joshua dropped his hand, and cold enveloped her. “Send word to your mother. I will escort you to the train station when you are ready. I only ask that my son spend every summer here at the Triple K. I will teach him mercy and I will teach him to be honorable. Unless you believe he should learn nothing from me."
“I…I…Joshua…” She wouldn't have known what to reply to that even if she could.
He turned and waded from the stream, and then waited by the bank. Even now when she had wounded his heart, he would ensure she was protected. Beth moved out of the water, the shattering awareness that she had lost Joshua, and the dreams she had been building around their family seeping through her soul. And there was nothing she could do or say to change it.
Chapter 14
Joshua stood there for a long damn time, feeling empty. He desperately wanted to tug Beth forward and crush her in his arms, but he was afraid to, afraid of frightening her, afraid he might never let go. And if he forced her to stay, she would surely come to hate him with all the passionate depths she possessed. After their untamed loving in the cabin, he’d hesitated to ask her to marry him. He hadn’t wanted to prod her, or even make demands, he just wanted her to see that these rolling grasslands and prairies could be home and that he would always protect her.
Instead, he’d suppressed all his instincts, and because of the simple need that had burned in him to be softer for her, he'd allowed death onto his family's lands. Beth now believed herself to be a killer, when all Joshua had seen was courage and the defiant spirits of the women who lived on the frontier.
“I need to be with my son,” she whispered. “I need to hold Grayson.”
Her pain and uncertainty were etched on her face as if rendered by an artist’s brush. It gutted him to see it, especially knowing there was nothing he could do to remove it all from her. Joshua nodded, and tugged his shirt off, handing it to her. She was shivering. Her eyes widened, and he glanced down. There was blood on the material.
Her chin lifted. “No more blood.”
Looking into her proud, brave eyes, Joshua knew she would never stay in the west. He could give her time to recover from the violence that had shaken the core of her existence. And maybe she would wait for a few more months, but she would always hanker for a genteel life where the men wore suits, and talked business over coffee and cigars, and the women rode in elegant carriages, and took afternoon teas and indulged in midnight balls. And where men did not hunt her across hundreds of miles. And he loved her enough to want that life for her, one without fear, or any anxiety.
Without speaking, he tugged her into the cabin.
“Joshua please, I need to see Grayson, I need—”
“I need to take care of you,” he said quietly.
She closed her eyes, then nodded. He ushered her into the cabin and stripped the wet clothes from her. The room was cool, the fire he’d left burned down to coals. He grabbed a blanket and rubbed some warmth into her skin, hoping to remove the stains of blood that hadn’t been washed away. The last time he had seen her looking this wounded had been at Liberty. Joshua hated to see that dark shadow in her eyes again.
A flash of lightning streaked across the sky, and a rumble of thunder followed. The grass waved idly in the light wind, several birds chirped, and the sun tried to peek from behind bloated clouds. It all seemed so damn normal as if a brutal battle hadn’t taken place recently. She helped him as he bundled her into one of his shirts, the hem settling below her hips to her mid thighs.
It took them a while, but they made their way to the main house. The ranch hands along with his father had wasted no time rounding up the men and riding them into town at gunpoint. His father had also loaded the bodies on the wagon and would take them to the sheriff. Beth had taken Grayson into her arms, who chortled happily to see his mother. He was none the worse for wear, but she still sobbed and held him close to her. Joshua understood, he had felt like he lost his reason for existing when he had heard her scream and his son's piercing cries echoing through the mountains.
She took their baby and hurried up the stairs, and Kathy disappeared to her room as well. He thought to go after Beth, but what more could he say or do but give her solitude to process her experience, for the prospect of them was gone. His mother faced him with somber eyes. "She's leaving?"
“Yes,” he admitted gruffly.
Jenny had been reclining on the sofa, with her eyes closed, and at that bit of news, she straightened. “You’re letting her leave?”
“It’s what she wants.”
“Are you going to leave too?” she demanded through gritted teeth. “Wander off again for months?”
It struck him forcibly that this was about more than Bethany leaving. He glanced at his mother, and she too had her hands folded over her chest, a similar question in her eyes. “Jen—”
"Do you know that men from the Tumbling S ranch had the gall to rustle from our herd and I had to handle it? Do you know that I've been offered for three times?"
A rustling that Jenny had to handle? He could easily credit it, for she was a hellion. And he could also see why three men desired to marry her. "How did you handle it?"
Her eyes narrowed. “That is irrelevant, I am trying to make a point. You are hardly here. Elijah hasn’t been home in years, Noah is gone too, and it’s just me, Joshua.”
Her words jolted him. He and Elijah and Noah were only one year apart. As ma told it, Jenny was a surprise addition, appearing eleven years after her firstborn. They had all doted on her, and he supposed with all of them branching away from the ranch on which they had lived most of their lives it would be painful for her. She'd never expressed it before though, and he acknowledged then how the events of today would have rattled something inside of her too. A man had flung her on the ground, and though she had fought, there was a chance she would have been raped if he hadn’t come along then.
He scrubbed a hand over his face. “Come here, Jenny.”
She hurried over and flung herself into his arms. Her head rested on his chest, and he felt a trembling in her form. "I'm so damn sorry I allowed that bastard onto our ranch. I should have killed Abraham Hardin when I had the chance in Blue Lagoon. I knew where he’d been staying.”
"You're not a murderer." Her voice was muffled in his shirt. "And I'm glad Bethany didn't have to face that coward alone. She needs to know she has family who will fight for her."
Joshua tightened his hands briefly, loving his family even more for their warm acceptance of Beth in his life. "Now tell me how you handled the rustling, Jenny?"
She pulled from him and rolled her eyes. “That hardly matters. It was weeks ago.”
His mother lowered herself into the sofa closest to the roaring fire. “Instead of coming to your father, Jenny sneaked onto the Tumbling S, climbed into Caleb Callahan’s room and placed her gun under his chin. Ever since then Caleb has been making a fool of himself calling on her, and she's been ignoring him. It is only because she swears she only gave him a warning why your father has not insisted on a wedding."
A wedding?
His mother’s lips curved. “Our Jenny blushes something fiercely whenever his name comes up. It calls for speculation,” she drawled.
Joshua looked at his sister. Mortification burned her skin bright and, in her eyes, he spied knowledge that shouldn't be there. His sister though only eighteen years was lovely. "Is there something I need to kill Callahan for?"
Panic flared in her eyes and something more potent before she shuttered her gaze. Whatever the hell it was, it rocked Joshua back on his heels. She saw Caleb Callahan as a man, one she desired. His sister was no longer the sweet young girl he had taught to swim, shoot a six-shooter and rifle, how to hunt and rope cattle. Even staring at her now in breeches, her midnight black hair tumbling in wild disarray to her waist, her dark green eyes spitting fire. He had missed the evolution of the girl into the woman befor
e him.
A different kind of sorrow pierced through him, and he rubbed at the spot of his chest that damn well ached.
“You don’t need to kill anyone. If that man had been inappropriate, I would have shot him then and there.”
Yet her cheeks were becoming redder under Joshua’s piercing regard. Unlike his father, he would be riding out to the Tumbling S soon.
“Joshua Kincaid, you wouldn’t dare,” she gasped, somehow interpreting his silence. “And we should be concentrating on a plan to stop Bethany from leaving. We all love her and Grayson, and we can see that you do too.”
His sister’s quiet supposition effectively distracted him. He stood there, unable to explain the tangle of emotions he felt about Beth. In fact, Joshua didn’t want to explain them. “I won’t force her,” he said gruffly. “She has to be willing, or I’ll always anticipate facing her hatred and disgust of bending her to the force of my personality. I know my character, and I know if I should choose to, I can be the wind that will break her.” How would he face the shadows in her eyes, the wounds of her heart?
