“Nonsense.” Unnerved by the familiar scent of sour dirt tingeing the air, I opened the window and pulled the curtains back, allowing a fresh breeze to enter in. Light streamed across the floor.
“Please,” Wyn whispered, drawing her knees to her chest.
“The clouds are out today, so the light isn’t that bright.” I forced my tone to remain calm. “Some fresh air will do you good. And you’re right. We do need to chat.”
She looked up, and hope ebbed through me. Even though Wyn’s skin was peeling in spots, her eyes were still the same faceted blue stone they’d always been. She ran her fingers through her thinning hair, and I kept my expression neutral as clumps of dark strands fell to the ground.
“I haven’t seen Siana in a week. She seems taller.” Wyn squinted at the bright light and then looked down. “Jacob keeps her from me now, did you know?”
“No.”
“It’s for the best, really.” She sounded distant, hollow.
“Please let me call a healer.”
She shook her head. “They cannot help. And that’s not why I asked you here. I’d like your vow. After I’m gone, you must promise you’ll—”
“Wyn, don’t.”
Agitated, she scowled. “You love my child as if she were your own.”
“Yes, I do. But you’re the one she needs. You have to see past this pain.”
Wyn’s eyes found mine, a brief glimpse of her old spark ebbed through the desolation. “I don’t know how.”
I walked across the room, stopping at the edge of the shadows blanketing the corner. “Why don’t you fight this despair? Why give into it?”
“It’s better this way.” Wyn’s voice was lifeless, flat. “She’ll use me, and I won’t betray—,” she stopped, glancing at me before looking down. “No. It’s better if I die.”
“Who’ll use you? And it’s better for whom?” I couldn’t help the anger bleeding through my tone. “Is it better for Jacob? He’ll die too, Wyn. As soon as you’re gone, he’ll die. And what about Siana? Is it better for her to grow up orphaned and raised by the guard?”
A tear streamed down Wyn’s face, and she didn’t bother to brush it away. “You don’t understand.”
“Help me understand.” Desperate, I took a step closer.
Wyn rocked and put her forehead on her knees. “Mia was there. She’s the one that took me.”
I shuddered. Most of the warriors in Kailmeyra had never experienced the horrors of the Dokkalfar. Invading the minds of the Alfar was their specialty, finding their vulnerabilities and then exploiting them. Gavin had spent three days in hell while they tortured him. That experience changed him, and he now struggled with controlling darker emotions. If Wyn experienced even a little of what he did, it’s a wonder she survived at all.
I’m sure it didn’t help that Wyn and Mia were best friends growing up.
“What happened?”
Wyn’s eyes widened, blindly searching the room as if she was trapped in a nightmare. “She was looking for a stone. I will not speak of it ...” She sank back in the corner as if she wanted to melt into the woodwork.
“I’ve seen what the Dokkalfar can do.”
Wyn began to visibly tremble.
I stood, wanting to comfort her in some way. “You must work past this. If not for you, for Jacob and Siana’s sake.”
Her resolve crumbled, and she started to sob. “Mia showed me ...” she gulped for air, struggling to speak. “A vision invaded my mind. She had a mate, and they were standing on a platform next to the black waters of the abyss.” Despair poured from Wyn. “She said that I was the cause of it all. It was because of me the Alfar would be forced to worship at her feet. I was the reason she learned to rule the darkness and light.”
“Do you know what I think?”
Wyn dropped her forehead to her kneecaps and rocked back and forth. “What?”
“I think Mia’s lying. You’re not the cause of anything. She wants you to die. She needs you to die because she’d be stronger without you here.”
Wyn’s eyes widened as they met mine.
I stepped forward. “And then there’s your daughter. Mia must know she’s a threat.”
Wyn frowned. “How is my child a threat to anyone?”
“Mia invaded your memory. She knows that Siana is gifted. The child is the only other person in the kingdom that can get into the mountain. She can walk through the energy field and not struggle. She is as strong as the children of the Ancients. If she’s allowed to live, to find a mate and bear children, imagine the future Kailmeyra holds.” I paused to let that sink in. “Did you know the Dokkalfar hunted down everyone related to me? It didn’t matter that they weren’t a threat—they were murdered anyway. Why would Mia allow a child as strong as Siana to survive?”
Wyn growled, her features turned to that of a warrior, but she remained quiet.
I shook my head. “Make no mistake. They will come for her. They’ll torture her—”
“Enough!” Wyn jumped to her feet, lunging at me. I dove to the side, and she fell, plunging into the light.
She whimpered, collapsing as the sun poured over her.
I inched toward her. “Believe me. Mia lied to you because your family is a threat.”
Wyn kept her hands over her face. “What if it’s not? How could anyone ever forgive me?”
We sat for a few minutes, watching the clouds roll across the sky. “You know, the Ancients believed the most destructive emotion is vengeance, but I think they’re wrong.”
She glanced at me. “What could be worse than vengeance?”
“Shame.”
Wyn’s eyes flashed with an understanding that sent chills through me.
I squeezed her hand. “Shame is worse than guilt, grief, or even hatred. It demands silence, keeping us trapped in loneliness. It shackles us with despair, telling us we aren’t worth any emotional connection, especially love.”
The clouds parted, and light poured through the window. Wyn flinched, but she didn’t move away. Instead, she rested her head on my shoulder.
“I can’t live with this, Princess. But I can’t find the strength to end my own life either—no matter how much I want to spare Siana and Jacob the pain of watching me die. I just can’t do it. And I can’t fight my way out of it either.” Her shoulders shook as she openly sobbed. “God. I’m so tired of being trapped.”
I pulled her close, wrapping my arm around her shoulder. “Why don’t you trust us to love you through this? What if Jacob had been taken instead of you? What if he’d been the one Mia tortured, and it was him on this floor. Would you want him to dwindle to nothing, to die from despair?”
The question hung in the air. Wyn’s shoulder’s tensed.
“I ...” vulnerability seeped through her, and her breath hitched. “What if he doesn’t love me after he knows?” she whispered, true terror seeping through her.
“That’s the power of shame, isn’t it? It’s a dark emotion, rooted in fear. It tells us that if anyone finds out our dirty little secret, they’ll look at us differently, no longer love or respect us. But trust is shame’s enemy. Trust that—”
“There’s nothing that will keep me from loving you, not even this.” A deep voice came from behind. I glanced over my shoulder to see Jacob standing in the doorway.
Wyn shook as he drew near. She grabbed my hand, hanging on as if it were a lifeline.
“Be courageous, Wyn,” I whispered. “Dare to be vulnerable; confide in your mate. Don’t let shame take you from Jacob and your child. They need you.”
Jacob dropped to his knees, reaching for Wyn. He showered her forehead with kisses and soft words. As soon as Wyn released my hand, I stood and started toward the door. Jacob looked up as he cradled Wyn’s head against his heart.
“Thank you,” he whispered before turning back to his mate.
I hurried through the house, wanting to give them some much needed alone time.
As soon as the door opened, I stopped
in my tracks.
Weylin was a few feet away, where I had left him. But the entire Elite Guard stood in the overgrown garden, and Gavin was at the front.
“I will not allow you to usurp my authority.” Weylin’s turquoise eyes glittered. He took a step forward, his large finger poked my chest. “From now on, Princess, we do things my way.”
“Back off, Weylin,” I snapped. “Siana asked for my help.”
“You should have allowed me to accompany you. Instead, I’ve been standing here like a fool. If the Prince hadn’t been able to see the situation through your thoughts, I would have ripped the door down, chucked you over my shoulder and taken you back to the castle where you belong!” His booming voice rose with every word until they echoed off the trees.
Anger coiled through me, and Gavin stepped forward and put his arm around my waist.
“Weylin,” he muttered.
He turned to the Prince. “From now on, if I’m her Guardian, I do it my way. This will not happen again.”
Weylin stormed through the crowd and disappeared.
I looked at Gavin, steeling myself for more of the same, but relief threaded with fear, anger swirled into admiration, and protection smothered them all.
“What were you thinking?” Gavin pulled me into a fierce hug.
“When Siana ran through the gates, my only thoughts were that she needed my help.”
He took a deep breath, trying to contain the tide of emotions flooding us both. “Siana sees the situation through the eyes of a child. She had no idea of the danger she put you in.”
“Wyn would never hurt me.”
“You don’t know that, Nora. No one has ever come back from such despair.”
“Wyn would never hurt me,” I repeated. Every instinct in me screamed it was true.
Gavin’s brow rose slightly, but he kept his opinion to himself. The guard followed us back through the gates.
“Besides,” I smiled. “Even if she would have tried, I can protect myself now.”
Gavin kept his eyes forward and didn’t say a word.
Chapter 5
Nora’s Guardian
Sweat trickled down my spine as I made my way out of the energy field. I stood next to the giant stalagmites cordoning off the space, appreciating how the clean scent of power combined with the musty smells of the mountain.
With Rena and Tark back, this past week I’d managed to work in the mountain as much as possible. I’d caught up on all my reading, and I’d even started organizing the rest of the scrolls left in the Ancient’s Room of Knowledge.
Yep. I’d certainly gotten a lot done, and I’d successfully avoided spending time with my new Guardian.
Rounding the last corner, the energy dividing the new Archive Room from the Keepers’ Hall seemed brighter today. I sighed and sat at the massive table, watching Weylin pace on the other side of the protective blue shield.
“There you are.” Rena came from the tunnel to the left and sat next to me. “I’ve been looking for you everywhere.”
I traced the curved marbled veins in the table. “I’ve been working on distributing energy.”
“We both know that’s not why you’re here.” Understanding flickered in her eyes, softening her words. Rena looked across the way, watching Weylin walk back and forth. “He’s requested I accompany you while you’re in the mountain. It distresses him that he can’t get to you.”
I rubbed my eyes. “I know.”
“Talk to me, my lady.” Rena reached over and took my hand.
Sighing, I looked down. “I wake every morning panicked because of some dream I don’t even remember. And just when I start to calm down, it hits me. Today might be the day Mia comes back. And Rune,” I dropped my head in my hands. “Rune is alone in a place he hasn’t seen since Rome ruled the world. Elias and Elaine still aren’t back, and even though we’re all working from sun up to well into the night, it’s not enough. We’re running out of time, and the last thing I need is to deal with Weylin and his we’ll-do-things-my-way attitude. It’s too much.”
Rena patted my hand. “I understand you’re under a lot of pressure, but avoiding Weylin will only make things worse.” She stood, pulling me to my feet. “You’ve avoided your Guardian long enough.” She tightened her grip and led me through the blue energy and into the Archive Room.
Weylin practically pounced when he saw me, and I found myself looking up at over six feet of very irritated warrior.
“Nora of Frey, Princess of the Alfar, Last Light of the Ancients, as your Guardian I insist I know your schedule.”
“I’ll let the two of you get better acquainted.” Rena gave me a quick hug. “No more negative thoughts. We’ll be ready, and don’t worry. Rune can take care of himself.” She held on, squeezing me a little harder. “I’ll see you tonight, my lady.”
She glanced at Weylin, and he tipped his chin as if to thank her. Rena wove through the tables and headed toward the door.
“Would you like to sculpt?” I asked.
He smirked and shook his head. “Only if you need a good laugh. I’m one of the few Alfar who doesn’t enjoy creating art. I’m built for battle.”
I couldn’t argue there.
“Princess.” Weylin’s turquoise eyes, always observant, held a glint of caution. “If you are agreeable, I’d like to show you something.”
“What is it?”
“It’s not so much a what, but more of a where.”
We started down the long passageway and headed toward the foyer. Kinsmen milled about, stopping and bowing as we passed. The hallways grew crowded the closer we came to the castle’s front door. Weylin took my elbow. Veering left, he guided me into a small alcove, just past the dining hall. He ran his fingers along the frame of a floor-to-ceiling painting. A latch clicked, and I realized the artwork acted as a door. A long corridor lay just beyond the frame. Sunshine filtered through a mosaic stained glass panel at the end of the narrow hallway, lighting the space in yellows, blues, and greens. Weylin ushered me down the path until we stopped at its end. He reached for a latch, and the panel gave way to warmth, bright colors, and soft, green grass.
Why would the Alfar have a secret entrance to the butterfly garden?
“I never knew this was here,” I said, watching jeweled wings flutter overhead. A tall trellis, covered in vines, camouflaged the hidden entrance.
“The whole kingdom isn’t invited to most mating ceremonies. Usually, the parents and the Queen are the ones to participate,” Weylin said dryly. “The female makes her way through that door and meets her mate here. It is said that if a butterfly is spotted the couple will be blessed with a child.”
“Is this what you wanted to show me?”
“Hardly.” He scoffed, leading me through the garden gates. “The main hallway seemed crowded today, and I wanted to avoid the fanfare that follows wherever you go.”
I blushed as we headed toward the front of the courtyard. He was right. After Gavin and I married, only the Keepers were strong enough to be around me for long. Last year we’d started a program to strengthen the kinsmen. As they grew to accept my energy, they began seeking me out. Some days it took an hour to get to the practice fields. Even now several guards milled about, obviously running interference, so we could make our way without being interrupted.
We walked between the statues, and I stopped in my tracks.
A few footmen held the reins of two immense stallions. Black as midnight, they snorted, sidling to and fro.
“Where are we going?” I muttered.
“I thought seeing part of my past might give you a better understanding of who I am.”
“I’ve only ridden once.” I swallowed, trying to control my panic. “And I promised Gavin I wouldn’t go past the front gates without him again.”
“The Prince is aware of our destination,” Weylin calmly stated.
Sweat broke across my forehead. “I’d rather wait.”
“Nora, the Elite Guard swept the area, twice. Gavin
has assigned riders to flank each side. There is no danger.” A spark of humor twinkled in Weylin’s eyes. “Don’t tell me you’re chicken?”
“Of course not.” I bristled, putting my hands on my hips. “And where did you learn that saying?”
Weylin grinned. “Rena has been sharing some of her favorite colloquialisms of your home. It is her intent that I find a better way to communicate with you.” He started forward again. “She also claims that you used to be—how did she put it? —not as spunky as you are now. Apparently, your willingness to voice an opinion is a trait you developed after you mated with the Prince.”
I blushed, remembering that both Elias and the Queen had pointed out the same thing not too long ago. We walked to the bottom of the hill.
“Aren’t there any regular size horses in Kailmeyra?” I wasn’t tall by any standards, but standing next to these beasts made me feel like a flea next to a Great Dane.
Weylin chuckled and took my waist. He hoisted me up on my steed.
“The Prince has ordered that we ride no faster than a trot.” He raised an eyebrow as he mounted his horse. “Apparently, your lack of balance is cause for concern.”
I gritted my teeth. Why Weylin liked to annoy everyone was beyond me. We rode in silence. The sun shone from a cloudless sky, bringing out vibrant colors of the forest.
Weylin pointed ahead. “Look.”
I cupped my hand over my eyes, blocking the sun. Two magnificent birds, their wings outstretched, made lazy circles overhead.
“Kestrels.” I smiled. “I haven’t seen them since we fought the Dokkalfar at the abyss. Can you talk to them?”
Weylin shook his head. “You forget, few Alfar possesses the abilities the Keepers do.”
I’d never really thought about that. Not knowing how to respond, I changed the subject. “What was Gavin like when he was young?”
Weylin grinned. “The Prince never worried about getting into trouble. He was the grandson of the great King Frey, and he used that to his advantage. Only a handful of us dared to humble him, and those were the ones that became his best friends.”
The Heart of the Ancients Page 6
