by Dakota Krout
DungeonMadness
Book two of The Divine Dungeon Series
Written by Dakota Krout
Illustrations by Mikko Luhtasela.
© 2017 Dakota Krout. All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced in any form without permission from the publisher, except as permitted by U.S. copyright law.
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If you love the artwork as much as I do, feel free to got to Mikko’s website and grab some merchandise! Divine Dungeon items coming soon! Click here: https://goo.gl/IW6Ay3
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, businesses, companies, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
This book is rated PG-13 for literary fighting, foul language, and puns unsuitable for people of all ages. It also contains advanced electrical engineering principles unsuitable for dance therapists.
~Contents~
~Contents~
~Acknowledgments~
~Prologue~
~One~
~Two~
~Three~
~Four~
~Five~
~Six~
~Seven~
~Eight~
~Nine~
~Ten~
~Eleven~
~Twelve~
~Thirteen~
~Fourteen~
~Fifteen~
~Sixteen~
~Seventeen~
~Eighteen~
~Nineteen~
~Twenty~
~Twenty-One~
~Twenty-Two~
~Twenty-Three~
~Twenty-Four~
~Twenty-Five~
~Twenty-Six~
~Twenty-Seven~
~Twenty-Eight~
~Twenty-Nine~
~Thirty~
~Appendix~
~Epilogue~
~Acknowledgments~
There are many people who have made this book possible. Chiefly among them is my amazing wife who always encourages me to do the best at any task I set my mind to. She somehow finds time in her already overwhelming schedule to help me be the best author, produce the best work, and be the best version of myself I possibly can be. Thank you, my love!
Next would be Mikko Luhtasela., who went out of his way to make a spectacular cover for my book! He has a style and artistry all his own, and I am incredibly lucky that he will allow me to put his talent on display. Good luck with all your artistry, and all the best to you, Mikko!
Last but certainly not least, a great thank you to all my friends who made their way through the awful early editions of my epic fantasy in order to give me advice and suggestions on storyline and descriptive writing. A special thanks to my friends Dylan S. and Hans M., who helped revise this book. And then revise this book. Then… revise again. Thanks to both of you for your careful reading and comments! Friends like you are rare and wonderful.
~Prologue~
~Roughly twenty-three days ago~
A sibilant yet melodious voice sounded in the predawn darkness, “Prepare, my acolytes. It is time to begin. For too long we have suffered injustices at the hands of the children of light. Each time we have worked to better the world for those like ourselves, we have been forced once more into obscurity and degradation. This is truth, yes? Our time has finally come!”
As one, hundreds of men and women of multiple races stood to attention, followed by briskly and properly genuflecting toward their dark leader. “Hail, Master! It is as you say!” Their timing — beat into them — was perfect. Their voices were synchronized. Necromancers were bowing to another being! The entire fighting force showed a discipline and level of training that had not been seen in a military since before cultivation became widespread many millennia ago.
Black eyes flicked between the bent forms, studying posture and ensuring proper respect was given. Slowly, a smile appeared on the face of the Master that would have made any sane man shudder. “Lovely. And well done. It is far past time to give you all your orders. Rise.” The people straightened their posture, trying to never show a hint of discomfiture when in their Master’s pernicious presence.
“As I am sure you remember — those of you who survived — the last time we tried a plan of this magnitude we were stopped. We were rushed, unprepared for our true opponents in the world. We were defeated… because of one simple fact. We stepped into the scorching light before we were ready. We allowed ourselves to be goaded, to react to the fear and hate, the propaganda spread against us.” The voice paused, savoring the moment. “Now, we are ready. We prepared the caverns and the altar. Our brother sacrificed himself to become our arsenal, and all he now needs in order to provide us with an unending stream of weapons and minions… all we need, are sacrifices!”
Monstrous creatures stepped forward, falling into ranks behind the rigid horde of Necromancers. “Go. Take your creatures, your minions, your slaves. Take them, and do what no army of the undead has done before. Return with captives.”
The Master gave a miniscule nod to his troops, and they began to cheer fanatically. The undead moaning and clattering joined the noise, and soon the terrifying laugh of Demons and abominations joined in as well.
The hordes marched into the night. They would bring captives as ordered… after they had their fun.
~One~
Dale’s group wearily began ascending the stairs that led to the surface. Covered in dust, blood, and other foul substances, their main goal at this point was to clean themselves and go to bed. As they began moving upward, Dale nearly missed a step as a voice sounded in his mind.
“Son of a-” Dale whispered as his eyes darted around. The others in his group took no notice of his odd behavior; in their minds there were plenty of reasons that Dale may be talking to himself. He had just died after all.
Dale’s mind spun as he tried to think of something to say before finally landing on the obvious. “What are you?” he thought as hard as he could.
Dale again tried to use his thoughts, pretending he was talking to this ‘Cal’, “Hello?”
I responded in a very excited tone,
“Hey! You can’t just suddenly pop into my head and then not give me any infor-” Dale began thinking indignantly at the voice. At that moment, they reached the top of the stairwell and opened the door to find a sea of cheering people sprinkled with a handful of furious faces.
“You irresponsible little shit!” Madame Chandra stepped forward and started aiming a slap at Hans, who had the highest cultivation rank of Dale’s group and was their de facto advisor.
Rose smoothly stepped in and blocked the blow, shock on her face. “Grandma! What is wrong with you?”
“We just saw you fight a Beast, Rose!” Chandra hissed at the young Half-Elf. “He was supposed to protect and guide you all! Not lead you directly into a death-trap!”<
br />
Rose stayed firm in the face of the High Mage, “He did everything he could! That Beast was something none of us could have expected, and it broke almost every bone in Hans's body when he attacked it, giving the rest of us a chance!” Rose was flushed and furious. “We would all be dead right now if he hadn’t been able to inject poison with the daggers he found! That Cat was moving too fast for us to land a single hit until Hans basically sacrificed himself for us!”
Several healers voluntarily stepped forward and offered their services to the weary group as Rose tried to calm Madame Chandra down. Most of the healers subtly avoided Dale; he was covered in a foul, waxy substance that stunk like rotting meat dipped in a latrine. Rose slapped away a few hands that got a bit too liberal with their ‘examinations’, while the hulking barbarian of their group — Tom — allowed the hands of blushing ladies to roam freely.
Hans chose that moment to collapse into unconsciousness, quickly followed by Adam, their cleric. Adam had used a large portion of his cultivation base to create a powerful incantation during the fight with the magnificent Beast, a Distortion Cat. Using his Essence in such a manner had permanently dropped him a ranking, reducing him to D-rank four. If his cultivation rate continued as it had in the past, it would take a year or more to re-attain his former power. Luckily for him, he was near a high-density source of Essence and should be able to rank up much more quickly.
Hans's issue was more basic; he had recently had many of his major bones broken as well as suffered major internal damage to his organs. The intervention of the Glitterflit type Bashers in the Dungeon had healed him, but after a cursory examination from a healer he was rushed off to surgery. Several of his bones had been shattered, and when they were repaired they didn’t align properly. According to them, Hans would need to be shaped by a flesh Mage to fix all the damage correctly and would be out of commission for at least a week.
The other members were properly examined after that announcement. Luckily all of them were deemed healthy. Dale was given several odd looks, likely because he was far healthier than the others, and he had recently died. Although, obviously, he had gotten better. Several people tried to grab his attention, but after catching a whiff of his rank self, they made appointments to meet him later. As soon as he was deemed healthy, Dale rushed to the river to get cleaned up. Frank had sent a runner to get him soap and clean clothes, refusing to allow Dale to walk through highly populated areas.
Dale pulled off his armor at the edge of the river, diving in as the last bit of clothing fell to the ground. He surfaced with a gasp, the ice-cold mountain water shocking his system. He looked around as the water darkened and quickly began scrubbing himself as hard as he could with some sand to break up the crusty mess on his body. The slow current carried the foulness away; a fish bobbed to the surface a few yards downstream, stunned from the high concentration of toxins dripping from Dale’s body. He had never heard a fish gag before…
The young man shuddered as he remembered the sadistic Beast that had skewered his heart, how it had stared into his eyes practically laughing as the light faded. He tried to remember what had happened next, but all he could think of was waking up again. A very unexpected outcome. He was shaken from his dark thoughts when a young man ran up with a basket containing a robe and toiletries. Dale thanked him and promised a tip when he got back to his tent. The freckle-faced boy grinned and ran off to his next task. Dale had a reputation as a good tipper.
After scrubbing at himself for nearly ten minutes, he realized that no matter how much effort he used, he couldn’t seem to get rid of the odor. With a start, he realized his mistake and quickly found a toothbrush and crushed-mint paste in the basket. While he enjoyed the feeling of his teeth turning to a normal taste and coloration, a small crowd of people gathered at the edge of the river. These people were his current council; Father Richard to represent the Church and their interests; Guild Master Frank of the Adventurer’s Guild; High-Magous Amber of the Mages Guild, specifically the smaller subset of the portal guild; Madame Chandra to represent the… well. Her own interests, Dale supposed. To round out the group there were a few people that came with these esteemed individuals to take down notes.
“What,” Dale croaked around the toothbrush, letting some foam drip down his chin, “never seen a dead man take a bath?” One of the note takers gagged.
Father Richard's eyes flickered with some dark memories, “Hmm. Of all the things I have seen dead people do, I have to admit that one bathing is a first for me.” Dale snorted, sending tears to his eyes as the mint in his tooth cleanser burned his nostrils, though he welcomed the pain as it allowed him to smell something new for the first time since he woke up.
“No, Dale, we are here to make sure that you are… okay.” Madame Chandra spoke gently.
Dale snorted again, “Am I okay?” He pondered a few moments, “Yup. Just dandy.” He spat out the toothpaste and dunked under the water again, rinsing himself off one last time. He walked to the shore, tired enough that he ignored the fact of his nudity as he came out of the water to collect his armor. He grabbed it and unceremoniously began scrubbing the accumulated filth off his breastplate as Amber gasped at him.
“Dale! Your body! Oh my…” Tears sprang to her eyes as she looked at the previously husky man. His body looked emaciated, the flesh sagging around muscles that no longer pulled his skin taut. All fat had been burned away, leaving a very thin man with haunted, blazing blue eyes.
“Your eyes used to be brown, didn’t they…?” Richard muttered under his breath.
Madame Chandra took a more direct approach, “Dale what happened down there? We saw only the last bit of the fight when the darkness cleared away. We saw you get killed… but then you got up for some reason. How? Actually, no. Leave the armor here and I will have it cleaned professionally. You are just swirling that goop around. Put on that robe and we will go to the Pleasure House. You obviously need some food with high nutritional density. As much as you can eat, on the house as usual. Come with us, Dale.” Her speech ended on a pleading note.
Dale nodded, dropping the armor and stumbling toward her. His stomach more screamed than growled as it was reminded that food did — in fact — exist somewhere nearby. Frank wrapped him in a robe and led him toward the restaurant, with the others following behind.
~Cal~
I had tried communicating with Dale again several times after he had left my dungeon, but as soon as he stepped fully out, either he could no longer hear me or was simply not responding. Well, fine! I have more important things to do than keeping tabs on a low-level adventurer anyway.
“Anything like the Cat that nearly killed us?” Dani chuckled sardonically.
I thought for a moment, just long enough that I noticed her grow nervous.
Dani fiercely nodded, “Good! Because you promised me that you would take a week off experimenting, right?”
She began to look a bit concerned, “Oh. I hadn’t thought of that… “
I tried to ease her stress,
She looked at me querulously, “Change a few things? Like what? I like the idea of adding a new floor, but will you have the Essence to do that and make changes and respawn every Mob in here?” Every time she said ‘a
nd’ like that it made me a bit more nervous that I was giving myself too much to do, but I felt that these things all needed to be done.
Dani thought for a moment and nodded, “That’ll be fine if you are going to add another floor anyway. Can we get rid of Shroomish and other weak things on that floor? Oh! Can we add a flower room there? Maybe grow some herbs in a more concentrated spot? I want a garden!”
I laughed at her sudden enthusiasm,
“About time!” She playfully frowned at me. “Thanks! It'll be the prettiest room in here…” She turned misty eyed at the thought.
I looked at her form,
Dani haughtily informed me, “There are many things that I can do that you never bothered to ask about!”
She scoffed, “I can’t tell you, how would I be able to remain aloof and mysterious?”
<…>
“What?”
