The afternoon slipped by and dinner was on the table. The men were nowhere in sight, but Nyssa caught the sound of wood splintering in the backyard. She didn’t have to look to know Solo vented his frustration on the logs out back.
About then Robert walked into the room, his face once again a blank mask and Sarah called Solo in to eat. The meal was tense and would have given even the most hearty personality indigestion. Nyssa left feeling disgusted with her husband and her fiancé. They had spent the entire evening exchanging barbed insults.
Nyssa excused herself but when she stepped inside the door to the bedroom and gazed at the bed, she stopped, her hand still on the knob. Tonight, Solo would sleep there with her. He had to for Sarah’s sake. Robert would be on the couch and Solo’s grandmother directly above them.
“Don’t look so horrified,” Solo said roughly, following the direction of her eyes. He grabbed the quilt she’d worn earlier and a pillow. “The hard floor is good for the back. Doctor’s orders.”
“I’m in better shape than you are. I’ll take the floor.”
“Will you pay the rent, too?”
Nyssa’s mouth gaped open. That particular fishy expression fast becoming a habit these days. She snapped her mouth shut. “Will I pay the rent?”
Solo’s grin widened and Nyssa thought that expression of his could be habit forming. She might need a fix every day for the rest of her life.
“I can’t pay the rent,” she said. Her voice a whisper in the tiny bedroom.
“Then you’ll have to pay the consequences.”
“I know. That’s why I’m sleeping on the floor.”
“Sometimes, Nyssa,” he said and stepped closer, “you don’t understand the workings of the male mind at all.”
“Sometimes? More like every hour of every day. And particularly this second.”
“Damn it, Nyssa,” he said. Two more strides and he had her pinned against the wall. Trapped.
Solo touched her cheek, a soft expression in his eyes before he dropped his hand to her waist and pulled her hard, against him.
Her hands rose to his chest to brace herself.
The length of her body flush against his, responded instantly. God, he felt perfect.
“Hell,” he said this time as he lowered his mouth to meld against hers, his tongue delving inside, fast and hot.
Her hands were behind his head, bringing him closer and she refused to let him go, her body on fire with need.
“Tell me this isn’t a dream,” he said. “Because if this isn’t real, I’ve been in my own fantasy land for days. I’ve tried, Lord knows I’ve tried to keep my hands off you for the sake of old Robert out there. I know you have your whole life mapped out, your bicycle rides all over the world, attending society functions on his arm. It makes up for what you left behind in New York, doesn’t it?”
She brought her hand to his cheek and touched him. Her heart contracted at what he said, about what he assumed. At one time she’d thought he knew her better than anyone else in the entire world, but if he thought she was that shallow, he didn’t know her at all. Once a long time ago, Robert might have been her dream, what he represented might have sufficed. But no longer. Yet how could she tell him she craved adventure? How could she make him feel any more guilty about the wedding than he already did? She had to give him a way out of the marriage, or he’d find himself wed to a woman he didn’t want for the rest of his life.
“Yes,” she said. “When this is finished, I don't know what I'll do. I can't walk down the aisle with Robert."
“Robert won’t marry you if you sleep with me. He’s already told you that.”
“I know he wouldn't. I know, too, sleeping with you could ruin his career. I'm going to give him his ring back.” As soon as I get the courage. God, but I don't want to hurt him.
“What you do with me is his business because the two of you are engaged. He’ll have to forgive a lot of things before this is over. But trust me, if you crawl in that bed with me, we’ll make love. And if that happens, Robert will not take you back. I know I wouldn’t.”
Solo’s face was hard and cold, but Nyssa still wanted to touch him one more time. She held herself rigid instead and didn’t give in to the disturbing sensations that raced through her.
“Robert isn’t like you.”
Solo looked as if he wanted to laugh at her comment but he didn’t. He only looked more stern and more harsh. “You underestimate him.”
“Nothing will happen. The bed is yours.”
Solo pulled her hands away from his chest suddenly leaving her isolated and alone. Before she could protest, he was on the opposite side of the room. “If we end up in that bed together, I’ll make love to you. You know the truth and so do I.”
“Your opinion of yourself is overrated,” she told him. “Do you think you’re so hot and so perfect that poor fool that I am I can’t resist you?”
“It’s not you I’m worried about,” he said savagely, and she could tell he’d reached the end of his patience--his control. “I can’t keep my hands off you. Now that’s the truth. Do you understand or do I have to spell my dilemma out word for word. I’ve never felt so helpless in my entire life. I can’t lie in that bed next to you and dream of touching you and hearing the sweet little noises you make in your sleep, while I can smell the soft fragrance that envelopes you. I can’t. I won’t.”
Nyssa couldn’t believe what she heard, what Solo admitted.
She didn’t move while he turned off the lights. She heard the sound of his shoes as they dropped on the floor, his pants, his shirt.
Stunned, she listened when he pulled up the covers he’d thrown on the rug and pounded the pillow--twice. She wanted to argue with him, tell him what--that he was an idiot for sleeping on the floor. Tell him that nothing he said held any truth. Yet the thought that maybe he couldn’t keep his hands off her and he respected her so much he was willing to sleep on the floor rather than compromise her, did her ego a world of good.
On the other hand, this could be logically contributed to pure lust. He hadn’t been with a woman in several weeks and she was here, available and this time, unlike the other times she’d gone on adventures with him, for some reason she turned him on.
This was very confusing. Somehow she wanted to contribute these strange occurrences to Solo’s Y chromosome. Because he missed some key ingredients in this decision making process he was going through, and there was nothing else to credit the phenomena to except the missing DNA.
So why did she care if his reasoning was faulty, and why did she want to give up her carefully laid plans? The way she felt right now at this moment--and if she had an ounce of courage--she’d make Solo come to bed with her and let him show her how much he really wanted her.
***
“Is there a party out there?” Nyssa asked.
But Solo was still asleep on the floor and with all the noise generated in the other room, he couldn’t have heard her if she’d yelled the question.
“Solo. Solo--”
Solo sat up from his place on the floor and raked his hand through his wild hair until it stood on end. All she could see of him was his well-muscled back from the waist up. He stretched and his biceps and deltoids bulged just the right amount to make her insides flutter.
“Sounds like the Colonel is back.” Solo was on his feet and wrapping the quilt around his middle very adeptly, a move he’d improved on in the last two days. His eyes had dark purple shadows beneath them, and a flash of guilt swept through her only to dissipate with his next statement. “Rise and shine, pumpkin, we’ve a show to put on.”
The days had passed slowly and the tension escalated with each hour. But Nyssa was used to the fact that her honeymoon would be spent with a chaperone and one body guard. Both Sarah and Robert had been underfoot and in the middle of every conversation she and Solo had had. And to make matters worse Solo had to postpone the shoot because of Sarah’s expectations. For several hours each afternoon, Sarah shooed the
m into the bedroom, a hopeful grin on her face and they were obliged to pretend they were enamored of each other. By this time next month, Sarah would wonder why there wasn’t an announcement of a baby forthcoming.
The strangest thing about the last two days however was Sarah’s apparent good health. She was--chipper--if that could explain her bubbling enthusiasm and her spry chatter that went along with each meal. Each time Sarah shooed them to the bedroom to “do what newlyweds did” she also took Robert by the arm and made him walk with her. This served to reinforce Robert’s opinion that Sarah faked the illness, faked the hospital stay, and had staged the entire engagement and wedding for the sole purpose of bringing Solo and Nyssa together.
Nyssa understood she would have to talk to Robert soon, knew he felt betrayed in the worst possible way. For the last twenty-four hours he’d lost all semblance of control, and acted completely out of character. Old Robert had an attitude problem.
Of course this didn’t ease the tension that engulfed them. The truth, heaven forbid, could set back all the carefully constructed plans from the last few weeks.
She decided there was no better time than the present to speak with Robert. So, mustering all the courage she could find, she dressed and set out to find her fiancé and whisk him away to a nice private location for a serious talk.
The living room full of people turned in unison and stared at her when she opened the bedroom door. Robert rose from the couch and said, “Nyssa, we have to talk.”
“I know.” Nyssa started for the porch and was relieved to hear Robert behind her. She walked until they were far enough away from the cabin she was sure no one could hear them.
“What you’ve done is noble and honorable and while I admire you for it and while I can forgive you, I--”
He was perfect again, wonderful and she felt lower than low. “I’m so sorry. You shouldn’t have had to go through this.”
He touched her nose with his finger and gave her a sad smile. “No, I shouldn’t have and I know you’re sorry.”
What was he about to do? He didn’t look right, didn’t look demanding or domineering nor did he look possessive or jealous. “I never thought we’d have to get married or that Sarah would stay and--” She wrung her hands and wished she didn’t have to go through with this. “I’ve hurt you and I wish I could change what happened.”
He lifted her chin so that short of closing her eyes, she had to look at him. “I think--I think you knew what you were doing all along. I think, even if it was only your subconscious that led you, you wanted to marry Solo.”
“That’s not true.” Her denial was weak and wavered with every word because Robert was right.
“Of course it is.” He smiled fondly at her. “Deep down you know I’m speaking the truth. This hasn’t just been for Solo’s grandmother. If I hadn’t seen you and Solo together with my own eyes, I might not have believed what I saw. You love him,” Robert said softly.
“I like him--some of the time. I’ve always been attracted to him but he’s not my type.”
“Perhaps you’ve both grown up and maybe you see each other in a different light. But from what I’ve noticed around here sparks fly between the two of you.”
“You’re wrong.”
“I don’t think so. I’d be a fool to marry you now that I know you love someone else.”
She was stunned. “You don’t want me?”
“Oh, I want you but what I feel doesn’t matter,” he said sternly. “I’m leaving with the Colonel and Sarah. The plane to fly us out of here sits on that make-shift runway right now.”
“Oh.”
“Nyssa? Do you understand what I’ve told you?”
“The plane is ready. The Colonel and Sarah will leave, too. And when Solo and I are done with the pictures, I’ll come home.”
Robert put his hands on her shoulders and shook his head.
“The engagement is off?” she said. “I understand now. You can’t forgive me.”
“That is part of what I said but not the most important part. If you still loved me, I’d forgive you in a heartbeat. But more important Nyssa is the fact you’ve done nothing I need to forgive you for. You’ve followed your heart, that’s all.”
“I have?”
“Yes.” His yes was emphatic yet wistful too, maybe resigned. This wasn’t at all what she expected.
“My heart.”
“Follow it sweetheart and you’ll find happiness.” He left her and walked back to the cabin.
His words whirled around in her brain, and she still hadn’t figured out what the truth was. In love? In love with Solo St. John? She always had been in love with him.
Yet…
***
When she opened the door to the living room that night, moonlight flooded the walls and the floor. She hadn’t been able to sleep, what Robert told her earlier in the day pounded in her head. The need to talk to Solo was real and threatening, and she didn’t have a clue as to what to say.
So when she stepped closer to the couch, a softer version of the floor he’d been sharing for the past few days, she found no relief. If courage was the commodity she was after, she didn’t possess it nor was she any closer to finding it.
Enlightened to the fact she didn’t have the nerve to confront Solo let alone talk to him, she turned to go back to the bedroom.
“Nyssa is that you?”
A shadowy figure sat up from the couch and brushed his hair back but she couldn’t see his face or his eyes, couldn’t read his expression. He sounded a bit angry or perhaps frustrated. The last few days hadn’t been easy on him either.
“I wanted to know if you were asleep.”
“You wanted to know what?”
“Well, I miss you and this can’t be any better than the floor. I--”
“If you’re asking me to come to bed with you, I won’t. Now go to sleep and quit bothering me.”
Her heart sunk and her insides felt hollow as all get out. Robert may have been right when he assumed she loved Solo, but Solo didn’t love her. She wasn’t his kind of woman. They both knew that. Why else would he refuse such a blatant invitation?
“Good night, Nyssa.”
She saw him pull the covers over his face punctuating the harsh good night he’d given her. If she walked up to him and pulled the quilt off his face then proceeded to tell him she wanted nothing more than to go on one adventure after another with him, what would he do?
Chapter Twelve
A shaft of light filtered through the window and cast the room in a curious glow. A tree branch scraped against the roof, not that Solo needed the noise to wake him. Since he’d tossed the pillow on the couch an hour before midnight, he’d been wide awake and alert to every sound emanating from the bedroom where Nyssa slept.
Somehow, over the last few days, he’d grown accustomed to the little noises she made in her sleep, to the company she provided though she slept on the bed and he lay on the floor. Now he was alone and although he was used to the solitary state, he had come to discover he liked having Nyssa close.
“Are you asleep?”
Solo opened his eyes, stunned that Nyssa knelt beside the couch, her presence so close to him he could touch her.
Safari Moon Page 19
