Delilah leaned forward and peered intently at me. “Have you kissed him?” Her voice was loaded with challenge, completely in my face to expose me.
Uh, oh. If I said I’d kissed him, they’d want a description and Val would know I was lying, because she’d kissed tons of guys. But if I hadn’t kissed him, that didn’t really count as dating. But I so wasn’t going to take their pity party any more. Mostly because they were right, and I didn’t want them to be. I couldn’t have this conversation. It had to end now. Crud!
“Well?” Delilah asked. “Did you kiss him?”
Oh! Idea! How could I have forgotten the only significant moment of my summer aside from the Rafe incident? I jerked up my shirt and showed them my pale stomach in a most excellent change of subject. “I got a belly button ring this summer.” There it was, a light green stone sparkling in my navel. I’d done it so early in the summer that I didn’t think much about it anymore. I’d been so fired up about it at the time, feeling like such a rebel, but when I’d realized that it hadn’t changed my life at all, I’d stopped wasting my time gloating over it. But right now, I was loving it. “Cool, huh?”
They gaped at my new jewelry, and Erin slapped her hand over her mouth. “I can’t believe it! Did your parents freak or what?”
“They don’t know.” I’d gotten it pierced with Maria, a flutist from England who’d been on tour this summer. We’d snuck out after a particularly miserable recital at this library where there’d been only three people in the audience. It had been a gorgeous Saturday and the rest of the world had been at the beach or somewhere else fun. Maria had been the one cool chick on tour, and I think I could have been friends with her, but then she’d gotten invited to solo for some concert series in Europe and she’d left me behind.
But at least I had the ring. I’d done it because I’d figured it would be a great feeling to be stuck in a boring recital in my frilly dress, knowing I had a belly button ring that Crusty and my parents would never allow. The truth was, it sort of made me feel even worse, like it was a stamp on my forehead that said I was too wimpy to stand up for who I wanted to be, and all I could manage was a secret earring shoved through my navel. Plus it itched and got caught on things. Washcloths were now banned from my life.
Not that I’d taken it out. I felt like as long as I had that sparkling green stone in my belly button, I had a chance.
Val touched my green stud in reverence. “Wow. That is so sweet.”
I grinned, already feeling a little better. My friends were seeing me right now, not looking past me. “See? I’m not a loser.”
Delilah was still looking skeptical. “What does Rafe think of it?”
Rafe again. Could she not drop the subject? “It was his idea.” Well, it probably would be, right? I mean, he seemed like a belly button ring kind of guy.
Val sat back in the chair. “It looks good. Did it hurt?”
“Not at all,” I lied.
Erin sighed. “I’m so jealous. I thought you were having the worst summer, and you were off with some boyfriend getting a belly button ring.”
Relief rushed through me at the genuine look of envy on her face. She had no idea as to the truth, and that was the way it was going to stay, until I could fix my life and actually have something worthwhile to talk about. I pulled my shirt back down as Mrs. Griffiths walked into the room and ordered us to our seats. As I slid into my seat next to Erin, she slipped me a note. Do you really have a boyfriend?
I wrote back one word. Yes!!!!!!
Are you going to invite him to the semi-formal?
Excitement leapt through me at the thought. What if Rafe was my date? How awesome would that be? Then I thought of his tattoos and Angel and I shuddered. How could I invite Rafe? No way. I could never do it. He can’t come.
Then who are you going to the semi with?
My mind raced to come up with a believable excuse. I chewed on my pen for a few seconds, then wrote, I don’t think I’ll go. It might upset him if I went with someone else. Yeah, that was why I was going to stay home. Because of my devoted boyfriend. Hah.
Erin snorted and Mrs. Griffiths glared in our direction. We both huddled over our books and it was a few moments before Erin slid the note back toward me. I checked out Mrs. Griffiths, then pulled the note onto my book. Come with us to practice today and pick out a guy. Rafe can get over himself.
I almost grinned. I had a feeling Rafe did need to get over himself.
But there was no way I could go to Inverness today. Miss Jespersen would be waiting for me at three o’clock at Mueller-Fordham. With my audition less than three weeks away, I had lessons almost every day. My fingers curled around my textbook at the thought of heading back into that torture chamber.
Erin slid me another note. So? Are you coming to Inverness today or what? You have to quadruple date with us to the semi.
Longing washed over me. If Val, Delilah and Erin all went to the semi and I stayed home, it would make me even more of an outsider. And I so wanted to go. Like, really, really, really badly. My belly button ring wouldn’t save me again.
I drummed my pen on my desk and thought about how I could swing getting over to Inverness so I could get a date for the semi. On Thursdays, my mom worked late. Since she couldn’t take me to Mueller-Fordham, I always took the bus home and practiced on my own.
No one would know if I went to Inverness instead, as long as I got home before my mom.
Excitement trilled through me at the thought of how much trouble I would be in if anyone found out. There was something compelling about the thought of bailing on practice, knowing it was so illegal. I’ll try to make it on Thursday.
Erin read my note and gave me the thumbs up.
God, I wanted to go so badly. But did I really have the guts to blow off practice?
I didn’t.
Did I?
CHAPTER FOUR
In my lesson two days later, Miss Jespersen finally made me cry.
I was sitting there at the stupid piano with the stupid tears trickling down my cheeks, and Crusty’s face was all scrunched up. “Why are you crying?”
Maybe because you just called me a failure for the fiftieth time in the last ten minutes and I can’t take it one more second? Yeah, that might be why. I lifted my chin and sniffled. “I’m not crying. I have allergies.” I could not believe that’d I’d let her get to me this badly. I was not a wimp. I really wasn’t.
Her eyes narrowed. “Toughen up, Lily. You’ll never be a success if you can’t take criticism. Do you want me to tell you you’re great? Well, then, be great. I’m not going to prop you up with false praise just to make you feel good. My job is to make you a better pianist, and that’s what I’m going to do.”
I dug my fingernails into my palms and glared at the piano keys. I hated those ugly pieces of ivory. I wished they’d shrivel up into a miserable pile of raccoon dung. How could I ever have enjoyed pounding away at them? It seemed so unreal that I’d actually been the one to beg my parents for lessons in the beginning. Had I known what I was getting into, I would have asked to have my toes amputated without Novocain instead.
“Are you listening to me?” Miss Jespersen continued spewing her rant. “Less than two and a half weeks to go, and you’re still playing uninspired music.”
I gritted my teeth so hard my jaw started to hurt.
“You better stop pouting right now or I’m walking out.” She dropped the threat with a smug smile that put me over the edge.
I’d had it.
“Don’t bother. I’ll do it for you.” I swung my legs over the piano bench, stood up, then walked out and slammed the door shut behind me.
Miss Jespersen yanked the door open before I’d made it five feet. “Get back in here, Lily.” Her voice was low and threatening.
I ignored her and strode down the hallway lined with individual practice rooms. When I walked past an open door that had JamieX pouring out of it, I couldn’t stop myself from peeking inside. Rafe was at the dru
ms, and he looked completely cute in a white tee shirt and blue jeans. He saw me at the door, and gave me a nod.
I nodded back, digging my fingernails into my palms to keep myself from falling apart. No way was I going to rush in there, throw myself at his feet and beg him to go to the semi-formal with me and change my life. Although if I thought it might work, I’d consider it.
Chris waved at me in the middle of his singing, and I grinned back. Angel smiled at me, but the other guitar player ignored me, too into his music to look up. Some of my tension eased. Yeah, okay, see? These guys thought I was cool.
The keyboard started up, and I immediately looked over to see who was in my spot. It was a girl with gloriously long black hair, perfect cheekbones, and a willowy body that made her look like a ballet dancer. She was frowning in concentration, and still stumbling over the music. Holy cow. I was much better than she was. Like so much better. And that made me feel so much happier, like maybe I wasn’t some zit in the world of piano playing. Screw Crusty. She was wrong. I wasn’t worthless.
The more I listened to the band, the madder I became that I had let Crusty make me feel so bad about myself.
Miss Jespersen came up behind me and wrapped her fingers around my arm, but I yanked free before she could get a grip. “I’m done,” I told her.
“You’re finished when I say you’re finished,” she whispered, like it was some secret threat too horrible to be overheard by Rafe and his friends.
I turned around to face her. “You don’t own me.”
Her eyes widened in what looked like genuine confusion, but I knew she had to be faking it. Miss Jespersen was too evil to ever be confused. “I’m not trying to own you, Lily. I’m trying to help you.”
“Help me? Seriously? How? By torturing me? I’ve had it with how you treat me and I’m so sick of the piano!” At my words, Crusty’s face darkened. I realized the band had stopped playing and everyone was listening.
Involuntarily, I checked out Rafe. He was watching us, but I couldn’t read his face at all.
“Lily! Stop flirting with Rafe this instant.”
Oh, no. Tell me she didn’t just say that. Heat flared into my cheeks as Rafe’s expression morphed into surprise. He surreptitiously peeked at the keyboard player, who was frowning at me.
Crusty leaned into my space, her breath like stale wind on my face. “You do not have time for boys,” she said. “Get back to the practice room. Now.”
I heard Angel snicker, and humiliation washed over me. How could Crusty embarrass me like that in front of them? Private torture was one thing, but in front of them? It was too much. Unforgivable. “Get away from me,” I hissed.
Then I turned and stormed outside.
I stalked out to the front porch of the gorgeous brick house that now housed the nightmare of Mueller-Fordham and sat down on the top step. My mom wasn’t due for another hour, but I didn’t care. I wasn’t moving.
I hugged my arms to my chest and dropped my forehead to my knees, preparing for Crusty to come after me. The front door squeaked and I immediately lifted my head and started humming JamieX, wiggling my shoulders with the beat. Yeah, look at me, dancing away because I didn’t care about anything.
“You okay?” Rafe asked.
Rafe? I jerked my gaze up at him in surprise. What was he doing out here? But he was definitely standing beside me, his black sneakers right next to my hip. “Yeah. Fine.” Maybe not quite fine, but pretty close, now that he was here.
He sat down next to me, so close we almost touched. Not quite, but thisclose. “That was kinda cool,” he said.
I slid a glance at him, but he was watching a sports car drive by. “What was cool? The car?”
He laughed softly and looked at me. His green eyes were friendly, and his smile was nice. Not mocking. “No. You telling Aunt Joyce off.”
“Oh.” A feeling of warmth flickered through me. “Well, thanks, I guess.”
He bumped his shoulder with mine. “Don’t take her personally. She’s not that bad if you know her.”
I snorted. “She’s been teaching me for three years and I’ve never seen anything good about her.” There were footsteps behind us, and I glanced back over my shoulder, expecting to see Crusty standing at the door listening, but there was no one there. I thought I saw the faint outline of her at the back of the hallway, but I wasn’t sure. Why wasn’t she racing out the door with a straight jacket to drag me back inside?
He shrugged. “My aunt can be okay.”
Uh, oh. I’d forgotten she was his aunt. I tried to recover. “I’m sure she can be, but I don’t bring it out in her. I disappoint her all the time.”
“Maybe.” Rafe fell silent, and I didn’t know what to say, but it didn’t feel like an awkward silence. It felt sort of comfortable. “You need a ride?” he asked.
I almost choked on my tongue. “What?”
“A ride. You need one? Paige had to leave early, so we’re calling it a night. Angel and Chris hate to practice without a keyboard player.”
I had to count to five just to get enough composure to sound calm when I answered him. “Yeah, a ride would be great.” My heart was racing so fast that my chest actually hurt. “I just need to run inside and call my mom...”
He set a phone in my hand, his fingers brushing against my palm. My hand was shaking as I dialed. He had a car and a phone and was giving me a ride home? I swallowed hard and managed to talk when my mom answered her phone. “Mom, it’s me. I got done early with my lesson, so Cru— Miss Jespersen’s nephew is giving me a ride home. Is that okay?”
My mom wasn’t an idiot. “Why is your lesson over early?”
“Miss Jespersen went insane and had to be carted off in an ambulance.”
“Lily,” my mom warned.
I rolled my eyes. “I’ll tell you later. Gotta go. Bye.” I hung up and handed the phone back to Rafe. His fingers grazed my hand again as he took the phone, and I felt my skin tingle where he’d touched it. I was never going to wash it again. Ever.
“Ready?” He stood up and held out his hand to pull me to my feet.
I stared at his hand. Was I really supposed to take it? Was that what he was offering? I didn’t want to look like a dork if it wasn’t, but I was pretty sure that’s what he intended. Cautiously, I lifted my hand. He grabbed it and tugged me up. For what felt like forever, we stood there. It was almost as if we were holding hands, our bodies less than a foot apart...then he let go, spun around and jumped down all the steps in one leap. “Let’s go, then.”
Yes, indeed. Let’s go!
* * *
Rafe swung into a black Jeep parked at the end of the lot. There was no top on the Jeep, just a roll bar and sunshine. “Climb in.”
Oh, wow. This was so awesome. I stepped onto the running board and pulled myself into the passenger seat, plopping down next to him. The dash and seats were all black, and there was a three inch blue and yellow peace symbol hanging from the rear view mirror. “Love the car.”
“It’s a guilt present.” He started the engine and put on his seatbelt. “Where to?”
I gave him directions as I tugged on my own seatbelt, making sure it didn’t mess up my scoop-neck white tank with the cool embroidery around the collar. I’d picked it out hoping I might run into Rafe. Point for me. “What’s a guilt present?”
He pulled out on to the road. “My parents are getting a divorce. They kicked me out of the house so they could try to kill each other in private. The car was to make them feel better.”
Oh, wow. Suddenly I saw him in a new light, as more than the super talented drummer with good biceps and a tattoo. He had a life and parents and baggage like I did. “That’s a major bummer. The divorce thing, not the car.”
He shrugged. “It is what it is.”
I wished I could be that chill about my life. Was he for real, or did it actually bother him? “So, where do you live, then? Did they really kick you out?” I couldn’t imagine my parents throwing me out. I would freak.
>
“With my aunt.”
I couldn’t help the heebie-jeebies from crawling down my spine. “Seriously? You actually live with Miss Jespersen?”
“Yep.” He eased to a stop at a red light, rested his forearms on the steering wheel and turned his head toward me. “What’s your story?”
He had dark brown flecks in his green eyes, I realized. His eyelashes were so thick and long I wanted to touch them to see if they were my imagination. “Story about what?” My gaze drifted to his mouth, and his lips. Were they soft? What would it be like if he kissed me? Would he—
“Child prodigy on your good days, piece of dirt on your bad ones,” Rafe quoted as the light turned green and he began to drive again. “What’s up with that?”
Oh, that. Right. My life was not about Rafe kissing me. It was about failing to make the grade. “I play the piano. My parents and your aunt have high hopes for me, but I’m failing miserably.” I chewed my lower lip and watched the trees flash by. Suddenly, the afternoon didn’t seem so warm and sunny anymore. Why did Crusty and piano have to follow me everywhere? Couldn’t I just enjoy a ride from a cute guy and not have it tainted?
“You seem pretty talented to me.” He sounded totally genuine, not trying to suck up to me, and it made me smile.
I glanced at him, but he was checking out the rear view mirror, not me. “Maybe you can drop a hint to your aunt over dinner so she’ll back off,” I teased, only half kidding
“Maybe I will.” He turned on his blinker. “Right here?”
“Yep.” We fell silent for a while, while I frantically tried to think of something to say that would impress him. All I could come up with was to compliment him on his drumming. Bo-ring. Think of something brilliantly interesting.
He turned on the radio and started flipping through stations. Great. I was so boring that he was giving up on conversation. Then he grinned and turned it up. “Great song.”
It was another JamieX song, an older one that still rocked. “I love this song!” I started singing along immediately.
The Fake Boyfriend Experiment Page 4
