He thought about what to say and how to say it as he rounded the truck and opened her door. But once she placed her hand in his and he helped her down, all thoughts went out of his head, and he pulled her close with a groan, cradling her head against his chest while he fought the need to kiss her.
She wrapped her arms around him. “What’s wrong, Clay? Is it that you’re worried about my dad? Because I would never let him take this out on you. And anyway, I don’t think we have to worry about that.”
“It’s not your dad.”
She lifted her head and gazed up at him. “Then what is it? You seem very upset.”
He looked into those glorious green eyes. “It’s you I’m worried about, Emily. I think I know what your epiphany is all about, and I’m afraid you’re not thinking very clearly right now.”
Her lips firmed. “Since you seem to be able to read my mind, would you care to tell me what’s muddled about my thinking?”
“I don’t mean to insult you. I’m just trying to help.”
“Help me think?”
“Help you realize that our lovemaking has cast a rosy glow over your whole ranch experience, making you see things through that filter. That’s no way to make a decision that could affect the rest of your life.”
“What decision?”
“About moving here. About being with me.”
She stiffened in his arms. “Forgive me for assuming you might welcome that idea.”
“God, I’m saying this all wrong. I would love to have you here. You have to know that.”
She backed out of his arms. “I’m having a little trouble believing it while you’re harping on the rosy glow that’s skewed my thinking all to hell and gone.”
“But isn’t that what happened to your mother?”
She stared at him. “My mother had never been to Wyoming in her life. She came out on vacation, met my dad, and on the basis of great sex she decided to marry him and live here.”
“Exactly.”
“Clay, that is nothing like my situation. I’ve been coming to this ranch ever since I was old enough to travel by myself on a plane. My dad is a cowboy.”
“But—”
“Let me finish. I have ranching in my blood, whether I wanted to acknowledge that before or not. My mother has been telling me for years that I don’t want this life, and her brainwashing has worked until now, when I finally began to think for myself. You—” she paused to point a finger at him, “are the icing on the cake, but you’re not the cake! This ranch and my ties to it are the cake. Got that?”
“Yeah, but if we hadn’t made love, I wonder if you would feel the same.”
She threw her hands in the air. “Maybe not! Maybe I like icing on my cake! So is that why you’re reconsidering having sex with me right now? You’re worried there’s too much icing?”
He rubbed the back of his neck, more confused than ever. “I don’t know. Maybe.”
“Well, heaven forbid that could happen. Take me back to the ranch house. I have a party to get ready for.”
He reached for her. “Emily, I didn’t mean to imply that you aren’t capable of making a good decision. I just—”
“Oh, you didn’t imply anything.” She backed out of reach. “You flat-out said it. And because I don’t relish having sex with someone who thinks my brain’s addled with hormones so I can’t think straight, I’m glad you decided against using that condom. Let’s go.” She turned and climbed back into the truck, closing the door with a loud bang.
Stymied as to what he could say or do, he had no choice but to walk back around to the driver’s side, get in, and start the engine. He hadn’t expected this conversation to be a lot of fun, but he’d hoped they’d be able to discuss things rationally.
He put on his hat, and she grabbed hers and crammed it down over her shiny hair.
“Emily, I just think you need to take more time before you come to any conclusions. That’s all I’m saying.”
She stared out the windshield. “Just drive, Whitaker. And make it fast. I know you’re good at that.”
Cursing under his breath, he backed the truck around and headed toward the ranch road. Once on it, he drove as fast as he dared. He could hardly wait for this ride to be over. Nobility truly sucked.
Chapter Fifteen
Emily chose not to say anything more on the ride back to the ranch, and she hopped out of the truck before Clay had shut off the motor. She left with a curt goodbye and thank you. Clay had tarnished her shiny new epiphany, and she was furious with him for doing that.
She wondered how she ever could have thought she was falling in love with a guy who had such a low opinion of her reasoning ability. The argument had clarified her thinking nicely, though. She’d discovered an affinity for horses and for ranch life in general.
For the first time in her life she felt excited about a career option, and she had a built-in mentor. She would ask her dad if she could move here and apprentice herself to him. She figured he’d be thrilled.
Because of all the money she’d saved, she wouldn’t need a salary for quite a while. Her living quarters might be an issue, but maybe she could rent one of the vacant rooms in the main house from Sarah. As for Clay, she’d learn to enjoy her cake without icing, thank you very much.
Fortunately nobody was in the living room when she walked into the house, because she was in no mood to talk to anyone. Mary Lou had run Emily’s jeans through the washing machine this morning while she was working with Calamity Sam, so she’d take a hot shower and get ready for the party. She wouldn’t mention her idea to her father until tomorrow, when they could find some quiet time to sit down and make plans.
Maybe she wouldn’t have to confront him about the fake inheritance, after all. She could simply say she’d saved a lot of money over the years, which would fund her apprenticeship, and once she was working here, he wouldn’t need to send her any more. That way she could save his pride.
Being on the premises would make it easier for her to encourage his romance with Pam, too. But Emily didn’t intend to mention Pam to her mother, who would be unhappy enough about the move without adding on news about her ex’s new girlfriend.
Emily could soften the blow of leaving Santa Barbara with frequent trips back there, but she’d spent the first twenty-seven years of her life within a short distance of her mom’s front door. She’d thought her mother needed her, and perhaps she did, but so did her father. And Emily’s future was here at the Last Chance.
Climbing the curved staircase, she walked down the hallway to her bedroom. Before she reached it, she knew someone was in there fiddling with her window. She recognized the sounds after all the action that window had the night before. No doubt the person in her room was replacing the screen.
She knew for a fact it wasn’t Clay. She paused, not sure if she wanted to find out who it was. She could always go back downstairs and… and what? Lurk around watching to see who came down the staircase?
No, that was cowardly. If she hoped to work at the Last Chance, she might as well own up to damaging the screen and get that behind her. She’d rather not admit exactly how it was damaged, but maybe she wouldn’t have to.
Then again, maybe she’d have to confess all, because when she walked into the room, she found her father fastening a new screen into place. His hat was lying on the bed. Next to it was a brown Stetson.
She cleared her throat, in case he hadn’t heard her footsteps. “Hi, Dad.”
“Hello, Emily.” He finished adjusting the screen and turned around.
“Thanks for doing that.” How lame that sounded, but she wasn’t sure where to start.
“It needed doing. I had to go help Pam with a plumbing issue, so while I was buying an elbow joint for her bathroom sink, I picked up a new screen for the window.”
“You’re probably disappointed in me.”
“Actually I’m more disappointed in myself. If I’d been more involved in your life, you might be more inclined to listen to
my advice. As it stands, I can’t really blame you for ignoring me. Why should you pay attention to a guy who’s spent maybe thirty days with you all told since you were a toddler?”
“Dad, I’ve just figured something out, and if you have a minute, I’d like to tell you about it.”
“I have as long as it takes.”
Her throat tightened with love for this man. He’d loved her so much from afar, and he hadn’t been willing to make her the battleground between him and her mother. He’d simply abandoned the field.
“I need to start by saying that what I’m about to ask has nothing whatsoever to do with Clay.”
“Okay.”
From the way he said it, she knew he didn’t believe that. But she plowed ahead anyway, explaining how she felt about the ranch and why she wanted to become his apprentice. “And I have a fair amount of money saved, so I wouldn’t need a salary for at least the first year.”
His eyes widened. “A year? Really?”
“I haven’t spent all you gave me. I’ve been investing.” She decided to substitute all for any and hope he wouldn’t question that.
Fortunately he didn’t. “You must be one hell of an investor.”
“I am, actually. But I don’t want to go into that field, if that’s what you might be thinking. It’s fun to do it for myself, and I’d be happy to help you if you want, but I know now that I need an outdoor job. I basically want to do what you’re doing.”
“You might need to get in line. At one time Jack said he wanted my job when I’m done with it. That might have changed now that he’s settled in with Josie, but that’s what he said once.”
Emily shrugged. “Then I’ll be one of the hands for as long as they’ll have me. I really don’t care. But I’ve discovered I love it here. I love not having to dress in business clothes and sit behind a desk. I love that I could walk out my front door and be at work.”
“The weather’s not always so balmy, you know.”
“That’s what Clay said.” Instantly she regretted bringing Clay’s name back into the conversation.
“So he knows about your plan?”
“Not really. He got an inkling of what I had in mind and told me I didn’t know what I was talking about.”
Her dad sighed. “I’m afraid he’s right. Look, I know you’re involved with him, and you think that you can just change your life around to accommodate that, but—”
“No, Dad! That’s why I said right away that he has nothing to do with this. As far as I’m concerned, Clay and I are finished.”
“Finished? You barely got started!”
“We shouldn’t have started at all. Now he’s convinced that the only reason I want to move here is because of him. How’s that for an ego?”
He folded his arms. “Can you honestly tell me that you would have come to this conclusion if Clay hadn’t been part of the picture?”
“Obviously I can’t. He’s been part of my experience, so of course that had to have some bearing. But he’s not the reason I want to move here. This is not a replay of you and Mom. I wouldn’t care if he moved to… I don’t know… Texas.”
“Emily, he won’t do that, and you know it. This is the place that became his first home, and that’s why he came back after he finished school. You couldn’t pry him away from this ranch with a crowbar. So if you move to the Last Chance, you’ll be running into him all the time. And I think that’s what you have in mind.”
Now it was her turn to cross her arms. “No, it isn’t.”
Sarah’s voice drifted up the stairs. “Emily, are you up there? I talked to Clay, and he said you two delivered the tiki torches.”
“We did!” Emily glanced at her dad and lowered her voice. “Does she know you’re up here replacing the screen?”
“No. I made sure the coast was clear.”
“Well, I’m here, now, so we can make it look like you came to see me.” She walked out into the hall and over to the top of the stairs to peer down at Sarah. “My dad and I were up here having a father-daughter chat, but if you need me for something, let me know.”
Sarah beamed at her. “Good girl,” she said softly. “Keep him occupied for a little longer. We’re lining the horses up on the far side of the house so he won’t see them until the last minute.” Sarah made a circle of her thumb and forefinger, winked at Emily, and walked out the front door.
Emily walked back into the bedroom. She might not get that hot shower, after all.
“Something’s cooking, isn’t it?” He gazed at her.
“What makes you think that?”
“The way everyone’s concerned with keeping me busy all of a sudden.”
“Well, I’m not. I just want to know if you’ll hire me, at no pay, as your apprentice.”
“Emily, I think you’re making a big—”
“What have you got to lose? You’ll get to see a lot of me, you’ll get some free help around here, even if I’m not very good at first, and if I find out after a few months that I don’t like it, you’re out nothing and I’ve spent a little money and time finding out it doesn’t work for me.”
“But you will have quit your job, and I assume, given up your apartment.”
“So what? I don’t much like the job or the apartment. I can easily find another one of each if I really can’t stand it here.”
“Let me think about it.” He started toward the door.
“Wait.”
“For what?”
“You forgot your hat.” She picked it up and held it out. “And what about the other one?”
“I thought you should give it to him. Less awkward that way.”
She held up both hands, palms up. “No, thanks.”
“Oh, for crying out loud, Emily. You could give him back the hat.”
“I won’t be rude to him in public, but I really can’t see myself returning his hat. I’d appreciate it if you would.”
“He’s not going to like getting this hat from me.”
“He won’t be as surprised as you think. He knows somebody found it, and that somebody also made off with the damaged screen. He’s worried that it’ll all come out publicly at the party tonight.”
“Good God!” He stared at her in shock. “I would never embarrass you two like that!”
She dredged up a smile. “Thanks for that. But I really think you need to return the hat and talk to him. That way, you’ll find out I’m right. Hope for a relationship with Clay is not my motivation for coming to the Last Chance. I’m sure he knows that now.” She picked up Clay’s hat and extended it toward her father.
“Maybe you’re right.” He took the hat and tucked it under his arm. “I suppose while I’m at it I should also ask him his intentions toward my daughter. That’s what dads are supposed to do.”
“Well, I’m not sure you want to ask him that.” She didn’t think he wanted to know what Clay’s intentions were, or what they had been, before he’d decided sex was rotting her brain.
“I’ll talk with him,” he said. “I’ll find out his stand on all this.” He paused. “Do you want me to give him any message?”
“No.” That sounded too abrupt. “No, thank you.”
“Okay, then. Guess I’ll be riding with someone else instead of driving myself to the Spirits and Spurs, so let’s try to get in the same vehicle.”
“You bet.” She was astounded that her dad, who had been alert enough to discover that Clay had climbed through her bedroom window last night, hadn’t figured out that the Spirits and Spurs plan was a decoy. Maybe that was her doing, hers and Clay’s. Her dad was so worried about her and Clay making a mess of their lives that he’d missed the cues that his birthday would be in a whole other venue. She walked over and gave him a quick hug. “See you soon, Dad.”
Maybe it was mean of her to send him off with that hat, but he and Clay had their own relationship to work out. They needed to come to terms with what had happened and get beyond it. That was her goal, and it should be theirs, too.
/> Clay wondered if life could get much more miserable. He sat in the driveway for a while after Emily made her chilly exit and wondered if he could have done anything better. Maybe not. He still thought she was making a snap decision based partly, if not completely, on what they’d shared.
He might be a fool for not embracing her cockeyed plan and ignoring the fact that she didn’t have enough information to change her life so drastically. If he’d been enthusiastic instead of a wet blanket, things would be a whole lot more pleasant, at least for the short term.
But the fun wouldn’t have lasted long. Once she broached this to Emmett, he was bound to be suspicious of her sudden change of heart, especially given her poorly disguised interest in Clay. Plain and simple, Clay felt responsible for Emily’s supposed epiphany. He’d owed Emmett the courtesy of trying to talk her out of it, even if that discussion had gone south, which it obviously had.
Thinking about Emmett reminded him that the foreman’s birthday party would start soon. Clay wasn’t in the mood for a party, but he could fake it. He should also check to find out how Watkins had made out with the lists.
After parking the truck over by the tractor barn, he went looking for Watkins in the horse barn. He found the place virtually deserted. Apparently the horses had already been saddled and taken to the agreed-upon gathering spot on the far end of the house, a place Emmett wasn’t likely to look.
Scanning the yard for any sign of Emmett, Clay walked quickly from the barn to the house and hurried around the east side of it. Sure enough, a string of saddled horses were there, with a couple of the guys keeping track of them until the appointed hour.
Since everything seemed to be under control, Clay gave them a wave and started back toward the bunkhouse. But he came to a screeching halt when he saw Emmett coming down the steps of the ranch house. The foreman was carrying Clay’s brown Stetson. Shit.
He decided to stay where he was and see what Emmett did. He was headed in the direction of the bunkhouse. If he walked in and didn’t come out right away, Clay would follow, although now didn’t seem like the best time to have this discussion with the party coming up so soon.
Cowboy Up Page 15
