“I never would’ve cheated on your brother.”
“I know that now,” he says. “I know you, Nat. Back then I didn’t know shit about you other than I had wanted you that night.”
“I never would’ve thought you’d give me a second look,” I admit. “I didn’t even think I stood out. There were hundreds of women there that night.”
“You always stand out,” he says into the top of my hair. “My brother is one lucky guy. Don’t ever let him make you think otherwise. You’re too fucking hot and sassy for him. You’re more my style.”
“So, I’m not too hot and sassy for you?” I joke.
“I never said that. But I’d be able to handle you in a way I know he can’t. Everywhere. In and out of bed.”
Oh. My. God.
Suddenly feeling hot, I roll over on my side of the bed and kick the sheet from my legs.
“You overheating?”
“No,” I say defensively. “Just a little warm. Maybe we should turn the ceiling fan up. You give off a shit ton of body heat.”
“I’m not the only one.” He laughs and sits up to pull the string above us. “There. Better?”
I nod and exhale, finally feeling as if I can breathe again. “Yes, much better.”
“Good.” He rolls over and pulls me into him until I’m snuggled into his body. “Now go to sleep and stop thinking sexual things about me. It’s not cool and my brother wouldn’t like it.”
“What?!” I try bucking him off me, but the only result me moving against him does is him pulling me even tighter than I already was.
“Do that again and you’re going to feel a surprise against your ass. If you don’t want me hard, stop fighting me and go to sleep.”
I try my best to not think about him hard against my ass, but I can’t help it, and all it does is make me hot and sweaty again, so I do as he says and chill out.
He doesn’t say anything else once I stop resisting, and I’m thankful for that, because too much has already been said tonight. Things I wasn’t expecting came from him and it has me feeling emotions I shouldn’t. None of the feelings I’ve felt since getting into his truck with him I should be feeling. It’s only night two and my head is already playing tricks on me.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Madden
Sitting up, I run both hands over my face, before looking beside me where Natalie is still asleep. I probably shouldn’t be enjoying the way she looks in my clothes right now, and I know my brother would kick my ass if he knew I had her wearing them, but I couldn’t resist last night.
I wanted her in my clothes to make it feel more real. And it worked. Looking at her now, it almost feels as if she’s really mine. Talk about fucked up.
Cussing under my breath, I slide out of bed and slip into a pair of jeans and a hoodie. My thoughts are scrambled. I need a cigarette to get my head on straight.
I open the door to step out of the room and freeze when I spot Alana sitting in the hallway between the two bedroom doors. “Shit, Alana. What are you doing out here?”
She looks up from her spot on the floor, her eyes red from lack of sleep. “Couldn’t sleep. All I could think about was you and how it should be us in that bedroom right now. Not you and her. It should’ve been me you were holding all night.”
“What’s done is done, Alana. You did this, not me. All we can do now is move on. Both of us.”
“I don’t want to, Madden. I don’t want to fucking move on. Can’t you see that? Can’t you see how much I hate myself for hurting you? I’ve been a bitch this entire trip because of it. You know that’s not who I am. You pushed me to be bitter and question everything I thought I knew.”
“I didn’t push you to do anything. Don’t even fucking go there. I’m not going to pity you. Maybe you should have thought about all this when you did what you did. And stop questioning shit. Clearly, you poked your head inside to spy on us and got your answer. I’ve moved on, Alana. You need to do the same.” I flex my jaw, unable to deal with these emotions right now. I really need that cigarette. “I’m going outside to smoke. I suggest you go to bed and get some sleep.”
“Madden, wait…”
Ignoring Alana’s plea, I hurry out back and light up a smoke, my nerves causing my hands to shake. As much as she deserves it, I don’t feel good hurting her. She was an important part of my life for a long time. She fucking killed me, and yet I feel bad. Isn’t that fucking great.
“Madden, please.”
“Dammit, Alana.” I walk around the side of the cabin in hopes of getting away from her, but I hear her footsteps behind me, not willing to give up. I stop walking and turn around to face her. “Go back—”
My words are cut off by her mouth slamming hard against mine. Her kiss is needy and desperate, her hands tangled in my hair, pulling me into her.
It takes a good few seconds for me to come to my senses and push her away. When I do, my eyes land on Natalie, who just came around the corner.
“Nat—”
“I don’t want to fucking hear it, Madden.” Her angry eyes land on Alana, and I can’t help but notice just how good she’s playing her part as the jealous girlfriend. It’s almost believable. “Hope you enjoyed that, because it’ll be the last time your lips touch his again. That’s a fucking promise.” With that, she walks away.
My heart races as I watch her disappear into the woods, because her performance was so good I wonder if maybe she’s really pissed at me for kissing my ex.
“Let her go, Madden.”
I toss my cigarette, eyes still focused on where Natalie disappeared just seconds ago. “We’re through, Alana. Take a hint and get over it. Oh, and stay the fuck away from us for the rest of the trip.”
“You’re not in love with her!” she yells at my back as I walk away to go after Natalie. “If you were, you wouldn’t have kissed me back for even a second. Stop fooling yourself, Madden.”
I don’t even allow myself to question what Alana is saying, because truthfully, I’m worried about Natalie right now. I’m not even sure why. Surely, she can’t really be pissed. It’s not like she has feelings for me. Her reaction had to be for show.
It takes me a few minutes, but I finally catch up with Natalie, grabbing her arm to stop her from walking. “Hey, wait up. Are you okay?”
She stops and exhales but doesn’t turn to face me. “Why wouldn’t I be okay?” She starts walking again and I do too, letting her lead the way. “Gotta play my part, right?”
“Right,” I say, but mostly to myself. “Well, you played it really fucking well just so you know. Almost had me believing you were actually mad about her kissing me.”
“If she kissed you then why did you kiss her back?” She turns around to face me. “I thought the whole point of me coming here was to prove to her that you’ve moved on, yet you just kissed her.”
“That wasn’t a kiss, Nat. Trust me. It was barely a peck that lasted all of five seconds. If I had truly kissed her back, you’d know.” I run a hand through my hair, feeling guilty all of a sudden. “Are you mad about it?”
“Of course not. I have no reason to be other than it makes me look like a fool.” She takes off walking again, taking the same trail we took the other morning.
“I’m sorry, Nat. I never meant to make you look like a fool. She caught me off guard and I didn’t act fast enough. That’s all that was.”
“No need to explain. Clearly, you still have feelings for her. Nothing I can do about that so let’s just walk in silence.”
I don’t know what to say to that so I just follow her lead.
“Do you miss my brother yet?” I ask moments later, changing the subject.
She shrugs. “I don’t know. I’m used to us going a few days apart on occasion. Sometimes we’re too tired to see each other, so it seems easier to wait until one of us has a day off work.”
“Are you serious?”
“Yeah, why?”
I lift a branch for her and grab her hand to help her ov
er a heap of fallen limbs. “You two live like ten minutes apart and work twenty minutes apart. That makes no fucking sense to me. Even if I was just coming to your house to hold you while you slept, I’d be there at the end of the day.”
“Your brother sleeps better when he has space. He sweats easily.”
“Then turn the fucking air up. A lot of shit he does has never made sense to me. I’m surprised he’s kept you this long.”
“Why is that?” She laughs and pushes a branch out of the way. “He’s a good guy.”
“Sometimes being a good guy isn’t enough. Not when you’re with a girl that deserves so much more than what you can give.”
She suddenly stops and looks back at me as if she wasn’t expecting what I just said. “What makes you so sure I deserve more?”
“Because being around you makes me want to give you more. Whenever I learn that my brother isn’t giving you something, I think of all the ways I could if you were mine. You deserve a man who’ll make you his top priority, not put you in line behind his job and himself.”
Instead of responding to me, we walk in silence for a while longer just enjoying the scenery and peacefulness of our morning walk.
The more time I spend with Natalie and get to know her, the more protective over her I feel, which has me questioning even more why my brother would agree to her coming on this trip with me. It makes no fucking sense, because if the roles were reversed, I never would’ve let her leave with him. Not a chance in Hell.
“How would you feel about getting away for a little bit tonight? Just the two of us. We could go to that bar we passed by the gas station and just be ourselves for a while with no pressure from everyone else.”
“Really? Are you sure you’re okay with that?”
I nod and brush her hair behind her ear. “Yeah. My friends will be fine without us for a few hours. I think we both need a few hours to just breathe and be ourselves. Don’t you agree?”
“Yeah. I’d really like that.”
“Then, yeah. I’m okay with it. After the show you just put on, you deserve it.”
After my little confession in the woods earlier that Natalie deserves someone better than my brother, I knew time away from pretending would probably be good for both of us.
Too much pretend can start to feel real. I learned that this morning when Alana kissed me and I felt guilty for kissing her back. What the fuck does that even mean? I haven’t been able to figure it out and it’s been bugging me.
“You two heading out for a while?” Jake asks from across the picnic table.
I nod and finish off my beer. “Yeah. Figured it’d be good to give her some time away from playing the rock star’s girlfriend. There’s still a few days left of this shit, and if we’re going to pull it off, she needs some time to breathe.”
“I’d say so,” Jake mumbles into his cup.
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“It means you two definitely need some breathing room. It’s beginning to seem a little too real for even me, and I know the truth. You sure you can pull this off without falling for your brother’s girl, or vice versa?”
I avert my attention over to the pool where Natalie is hanging out with Jess, Riley, and Walker. Seeing how close Walker is sitting to Natalie, I become tense, just like every time I’ve noticed him practically on top of her.
“You’re flexing your jaw, man. I’m not sure that’s a good sign.”
“Stop worrying for nothing, Jake.” I stand and toss my beer bottle into the trash. “She’s my brother’s girl. I’m supposed to be protective of her; especially since my brother isn’t here to do it.”
“You sure it’s only for your brother’s benefit? I’m only asking, because I’m friends with both of you and I’d hate to see some shit go down that ruins your relationship.”
“I’m sure.” I say the words, not fully believing them myself. “We’ll be back in a couple of hours. We’ll grab something to eat at the bar, so don’t worry about cooking for us.”
“Gotcha, man.” He stands himself, eyeing me over. “Take some time to breathe and have fun. Alana is already starting to believe you and Natalie are real. That’s why she’s inside instead of out here with us.”
“I’m not so sure about that.”
“What does that mean?” He studies me hard. “I don’t like that look.”
“She kissed me this morning and I kissed her back.”
“Why the fuck would you do that? You trying to screw this all up?”
“It was only for a split second and then I pushed her away. It’s no biggie. Tomorrow is a fresh day for Nat and me. After spending some time away tonight, we’ll be refreshed and ready to play tomorrow.”
“I hope so. The next two days are important. If you want to leave here a free man, without Alana hounding you every single day, you gotta sell it hard. Just be careful.”
I nod at Natalie when she looks at me. She says something to the crew before standing from her chair and heading my way.
“See ya later, man.”
“We going?” she asks, still smiling from whatever her and the others were talking about.
I grab her waist and pull her to me, before moving to speak into her ear. “You okay?”
“Yeah,” she whispers. “Why?”
I press my lips against her neck and set my eyes on Walker, who is watching us. “Just checking. Let’s go.”
“What was that about?” she asks the moment we’re in my truck.
“Nothing. I just noticed Walker kept leaning in on occasion to talk to you. I wanted to make sure he wasn’t making you uncomfortable.”
“Not really. He was a little flirty, but nothing I can’t handle. You really have no idea how many drunk guys I fight off at the hotel when I work night shifts. Why do you think I have a stun gun?”
“That’s why you bought that thing? To keep guys from making moves on you?”
“Yeah. And it works too. Trust me, I can handle myself. When a guy gets handsy I pull it out and it sobers him up quick.”
Anger rises and the need to protect her has me squeezing the steering wheel to keep from going off. “Does my brother know?”
“He’s heard a few stories.”
“And?”
“And what?”
“What does he do about it?”
She exhales as if this subject is frustrating her. Well, it’s frustrating me too. “Can we stop talking about work and your brother for a while? I just want to have a night of fun and a few drinks with you. No heavy shit tonight, please.”
“Fine. I’ll drop it.” For now.
The bar is pretty quiet, so as long as we’re out of here before dark we shouldn’t run into too many people who might recognize me.
“Two beers and two orders of barbecue wings.”
“Make that three orders of barbecue wings. Extra ranch.”
“Someone a little hungry?” she asks teasingly.
I shrug and thank the bartender when he drops off our drinks. “I’m always hungry. I’m down to eat whenever, wherever. I even bring snacks with me on stage sometimes and sneak in bites between songs.”
“Seriously?” She looks amused as she takes a drink of her beer. “What kind of snacks?”
“I had a bucket of fried chicken sitting on a stool next to Landon once. He gave me a weird look every time I’d sneak a chicken leg, but I just gave him the middle finger and kept eating.”
“Sounds messy. How did that work out for you?”
“It was really fucking messy and I smelled like grease the rest of the night, but I was satisfied and full. It was the best chicken of my life, so no regrets.”
“Do you miss being on stage?”
“What? Right now?”
“Yeah. Since we’ve been here.”
“No,” I say truthfully. “I love it, but everyone needs a break to just be themselves once in a while; to be normal. I miss my old life more than I thought I would at times. This is what I love to do; hang w
ith my friends and chill away from all the fame and people recognizing me everywhere I go.”
“Oh, there are definitely a few people who recognize you here. Like the girl at the table behind us for one. She keeps looking your way every few seconds,” she points out with a smile. “She keeps holding her phone this way as if she’s trying to not so discreetly take a picture of you. I’ve counted at least five different times so far.”
“Does she look like she’s about to freak out?”
She laughs. “Oh yeah. Totally on the verge of a freak out.”
I set my beer down and stand. When I look the direction the girl is sitting, her eyes widen, and her mouth falls open in shock.
“Then I should go say hi. What do you think?”
“From the looks of it, she’ll probably faint if you do, so you might want to be prepared to catch her if she falls.”
“Good advice.”
As soon as the girl realizes I’m walking her way, she sets her drink down and takes a few deep breaths as if to calm herself. “Wow,” she says when I take a seat at her table. “I can’t believe this is happening right now. Would it be rude to ask for an autograph? I’ve wanted one forever and it’d totally make my night.”
“Hell no. Ask away.”
“Oh, my God. I’m freaking out inside right now. You have no idea.” She places her hand on her chest. “My heart is about to beat out of my chest. You have no idea how crazy this is. I’m so embarrassed that I’m acting like a fangirl, but I can’t help it.”
“It’s okay. No need to be embarrassed.” I laugh and grab her phone from her because her hand is shaking so hard the screen keeps blurring. “I’ve got it.”
“I can take it for you.” Natalie holds her hand out for me to give her the phone. I can’t help but notice how happy she looks for the girl as she snaps a few pictures of us. “I took a few so you have options.”
“Oh, my God. Thank you so much.” The girl gives me a hug, before walking over and giving Natalie one too. “You’re so pretty. I saw a picture of you two the other day and I couldn’t stop thinking how you’re exactly the kind of girl I’d imagine Madden with. You look so good together.”
Reckless Rock Star (Cocky Hero Club) Page 17
