As soon as Seth notices me coming their way he hits the volleyball at me, so I quickly hit it back, my attention going to Madden every chance I get in between hits.
I don’t know why I’m watching him, but I do know that I shouldn’t be. It’s not because I’m playing the part of his girlfriend that I can’t take my eyes off him right now. I’m finding that I like watching him. I enjoy being around him. It’s starting to scare me, if I’m being honest.
“Did you two have fun at the bar?” Jess hits the ball away and swims over to me, her attention landing on Madden with the others.
“Yeah, it was nice. We had a few beers and just hung out.”
“That’s good. Did he have any fans there?”
“A few. He actually went over to one and said hi.” I smile, loving how happy he made her. “You should’ve seen how excited she was. She was practically shaking.”
“Sounds like Madden. Even when he’s trying to get away from the fame for a bit and be normal, he ends up giving his fans what they want. I admire him. I’d go crazy with no privacy. I don’t know how he does it sometimes.”
“I admire him too,” I admit. “He’s a good guy. Everything about him is…”
“Perfect.” She laughs. “I would hope you think so, because you’re dating the guy.”
“Right,” I say, mostly to myself. “Want a drink? I’m about to grab another one.”
“Sure, babe. I’ll take one.”
I’m treading through the water to get to the stairs of the pool when I feel a tug on my waist, before being pulled into Madden’s hard body. “You look like you’re having fun.”
“How do you know?” I tease as we step out of the pool and head to the cooler.
“Because I’ve noticed. I like it.”
“Me too.” I hand him a beer before grabbing myself one. Then I search through the cooler for a Seagram’s Escapes for Jess. “I really like your friends.”
“They like you too.” He steps in close and looks me in the eyes. “Which means you have to come back. It may not be with me next year, but I want you to come again.”
I swallow, not expecting to hear that. “I don’t know if that will even be an option.”
“I’ll make sure it happens. Even if I have to drag my brother here myself. Okay?”
I nod, even though inside, the thought of not coming here with Madden feels… off. “Okay. I’d like that.”
Once back in the water, I chill with Jess for most of the night while the guys talk around the picnic table. I’m not sure where Alana disappeared to a while ago, but I’m glad to not have to see her constantly watching Madden as if she’s thinking up ways to win him back over before this trip is over.
That’s something I won’t let happen. Not if I can stop it, and not when things are going so well. By the time Madden leaves, Alana is going to believe we’re in love. I’ll make sure of it.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Natalie
Last night after the partying was all over and we went to bed, I couldn’t stop thinking about what Madden did for me at the bar. Even after he fell asleep beside me, I laid awake, replaying the scene in my head.
I took my shot and turned behind me, proud that I’d sunk a ball in, just to catch Madden’s fist flying into some stranger’s face. It surprised me, and even though it shouldn’t have, it also turned me on; which is why I was so angry to find out he did it because of me. Before I could think, I wanted to pull him into my arms and kiss him, but instead, I turned away before I could make that mistake.
I don’t need a guy to fight for me—I’d never ask that of anyone—but he did. He protected me even though I’m not his, and that showed me just how much he cares about my safety. After that guy threatened Madden, my fear of him getting hurt showed me I care about his too.
I haven’t seen Madden in over an hour now. After our morning walk in the woods, he grabbed his guitar and headed toward his truck to clear his head. I’ve been hanging out with Jess, Seth, and Riley, playing a game of cornhole, but every time Madden starts playing his guitar, I get distracted and daze off.
“Your turn, babe. All you gotta do is get one on the board and miss the rest and we win.” Jess claps her hands in excitement before bumping Riley with her hip. “This is the winning game. You boys ready to lose?”
“Not really,” Riley mutters. “Get it in the hole,” he yells across to me, trying to trick me. “It’ll feel so much better than just getting it on the board—”
I laugh when Jess’s hand covers Riley’s mouth. “Nice try but I don’t plan to make one in.”
“Oh, come on,” Seth taunts from beside me. “You know you want to. Just do it for the sake of another game.”
I think about it for a split second after throwing my first bag and landing it on the board. “Maybe later. Sorry, boys.” I throw my other two bags toward Jess’s feet, missing the board on purpose. Truth is, I don’t think I can go another minute not walking around to watch Madden while he plays. “I’ll be back in a few.”
“Sure you will, babe!” Jess yells after me. “We all know you’re not coming back. Not when our rock star is looking sexy with his guitar.”
I laugh but don’t say anything as I make my way to Madden’s truck. The sight of him sitting in the back, guitar in hand, with his hair falling in his face as he plays has me stopping and taking a deep breath. I should’ve just stayed in the back with the others. I know this now because my heart is practically pounding out of my chest as I watch him play.
“Hanging by a thread, close to unraveling. I’m holding onto nothing, ready to let go. Just ready to let go.”
“I like that.” He stops playing to look at me. “Sorry. I could hear you playing from out back. Hope I’m not disturbing you.”
He smiles and pats the spot beside him. “You just couldn’t resist watching me play. I get it. Come here.”
“Funny.” I climb up beside him and he bumps my shoulder to tease me. “I do enjoy watching you play, but to say I can’t resist is going a little overboard. I wouldn’t say I like it that much.”
“It’s fine, babe. You can admit it.” He leans in to speak beside my ear. “I like that you enjoy watching me play.”
“Is that right? Why is that?”
“Because I like you,” he whispers. Those four words cause goose bumps to spread across my body unexpectedly.
Not wanting him to see my reaction to his admission, I turn away and clear my throat. “Just keep playing. I want to hear more.”
“I don’t have much written yet. I was just playing to clear my head and those words came to me. It’s nothing.”
“Well, maybe you should keep playing and see what other words come to you.” I lay back on his hoodie and use it for a pillow. “I’m just going to relax here for a bit and clear my head too. Pretend I’m not even here.”
“There’s no pretending you’re not here,” he says gently.
“Is that part of the song?” I ask nervously, not even wanting to wonder what he meant by that. “Because I like those lyrics. Go with it.”
He starts playing again, eyes on me. “There’s no pretending you’re not here creeping into my bones. You’re crawling under my skin and it scares me in a way I’ve never known…”
I close my eyes, allowing myself to get lost in the sound of his voice, his words hitting me hard and deep. It has my breathing speeding up and me questioning my own emotions to these lyrics. I suddenly feel hot, leading me to sit up and take my jacket off.
“Where’s my jacket?” he asks suddenly, as if just noticing I haven’t been wearing it all morning.
“I don’t know. I haven’t been wearing it today.”
“I noticed,” he says, setting his guitar aside. “I decided not to give you a hard time about it, hoping you’d change into it later.”
The truth is, I woke up wanting to slip into it. I didn’t even second guess it. I just instantly went to where I usually leave it on the dresser. “I couldn’t find it this m
orning. I—” I stop once it hits me. “I left it outside last night. Remember?”
He shakes his head. “I walked past that side of the cabin this morning and didn’t see it. I would’ve noticed it.”
My stomach sinks. “Do you think Alana has it?”
“For fuck’s sake. There’s nowhere else it would be.” He jumps down to his feet, his expression tight. “I’ll get it back from her.”
I shake my head and climb down after him. “I’ll get it from her. I think it’s about time the two of us have a talk. We’ve been here for four days and she still treats me as if we’re not together. I think it’s time that changes.”
“You sure you’re ready for that? You don’t have to confront Alana. I talked you into coming here, I should be the one to handle her.”
“We want her to believe this is real, right? What’s going to make it seem more real than me fighting for you? That’s something I should’ve been doing this whole time. I’m ready to do that now.”
He doesn’t argue as I walk away in search of Alana. I haven’t seen her since we came back from our walk this morning, which has me wondering if she’s been snuggled up in his jacket all day thinking of ways to break us apart. That thought angers me to no end.
“Has anyone seen Alana?”
“Yeah,” Jake says cautiously. “She just got out of the shower. Saw her in the kitchen making a sandwich.”
“Is everything okay?” Jess asks as I walk past her.
“Yeah, everything is fine. I just think it’s time we have a chitchat. That’s all.”
Jess looks a little nervous but doesn’t say anything as I make my way past her and Jake, walking inside to find Alana.
The sight of her in the kitchen wearing Madden’s jacket causes a surge of jealousy I wasn’t expecting. She doesn’t notice me at first, so I stand here and watch her, thinking about how many times over the years she’s worn that jacket just like she is right now. She looks comfortable in it, as if it belongs to her.
I hate that with everything in me.
“The jacket, Alana. Take it off.”
She puts the butter knife down she was using to spread mayonnaise and sets her attention on me. “Why should I? If you cared about the jacket I wouldn’t have found it laying outside in the dirt.”
“It was outside because—” I stop, realizing I don’t owe her an explanation. Not even for a damn second. “Just take it off. You lost your right to wear it the second you hurt Madden.” I step in closer until we’re only about five feet apart. “You’re done hurting Madden. I’m here to make sure you never get the chance to again. He might’ve loved you at one time—that I know—but what you did to him broke his trust in you. It broke him in the worst way. He never will trust you again. He deserves someone so much better than you. He deserves the fucking world. You had your chance, now back off.”
“Despite what you might think of me, I care about Madden more than I care about myself. I’d never hurt him again. Not if my life depended on it. But here.” She tosses the jacket at my chest and I catch it. “Don’t come crawling to my friends when Madden realizes it’s me he’s still in love with and breaks your heart. It may not happen in the next few days, but it will happen. Every year we get closer to getting back together. That’s proof enough that he still loves me. He’s loved me his entire life. That’s not an easy habit to break. You will get hurt. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
I feel sick to my stomach when she walks away, her words on repeat in my head. I won’t get hurt. That’s not going to happen, because I’m not Madden’s to hurt. But why does the idea of being hurt by him scare me?
“Maybe so,” I say before she gets outside. “But I’ll take that versus him hurting another day over you. He deserves anything he wants in this life. He deserves everything good, and I’m going to do what I can to give him that, so leave him alone. It’s the least you can do after ripping his heart out. I won’t ask nicely again.”
The look on her face confirms my words meant something to her. As if they have her thinking, and that’s all I wanted out of this conversation. For her to stop being selfish for once.
Without a word, she steps outside, leaving me here to think about my own words. He does deserve everything. Madden is one of the best people I’ve ever known, and this trip is quickly opening my eyes up to that. It’s scary, yet exciting to get to know the real him; the side he hides away with alcohol and partying.
I stand in the kitchen for a good five minutes to get my haywire thoughts under control before changing into Madden’s jacket and joining the others outside. Madden is sitting in one of the lounge chairs, and as soon as he sees me, he smiles and motions for me to come to him.
I climb into his lap as if it’s natural, making me realize that it is. Being with Madden is becoming natural.
He rubs his thumb over my cheek. “You okay?”
I nod and lean my head back so that it’s resting on his chest.
“I see you got my jacket back. You didn’t have to do that. I could’ve talked to her.”
“I did have to, Madden.” I lean my head back to look into his eyes when he tilts my chin back. “I wanted to. Just like you wanted to punch that guy at the bar for me.”
He kisses my forehead and whispers, “It looks better on you by a long shot.”
“Yes.” Jess plops down into the chair beside us. “You two have the right idea. Just chill and soak up the sun for a bit.” She laughs when she notices me wearing Madden’s jacket. “It’s getting hot out here, babe. Might want to take that off before you have a heat stroke.”
“I will.” My eyes land on Alana’s from across the pool. I’d rather that outcome than to take it off. “In a little bit.”
I find myself running my fingers along Madden’s arms when they tighten around me, taking in his smooth skin. Everything about this moment feels right. My frame of mind is good, as if I could just close my eyes and get lost with him, right here, right now.
Monday is our last full day here, and as I sit here in his arms, snuggled into his chest, I try to figure out just how I feel about that.
The pit in my stomach tells me I’m feeling anything but good about it.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
MADDEN
My knuckles are still sore from the other night when I punched that fucker across the face, but I’d do it again when it comes to Natalie, no questions asked. The fact that my brother isn’t willing to hurt someone over her has me sitting here in my thoughts, pissed at him for being such a fucking pussy.
It’s not the beer talking either, despite how many I’ve already had tonight. It’s all me—my real thoughts. I don’t have to be sober to know that.
The girls are hanging out by the fire, so I’ve just been sitting back with Jake and watching Natalie talk and laugh with Jess. I meant it when I said I’d make sure she gets to come back next year. Even if I have to bring her as a friend. She deserves to enjoy this experience like Logan and I have been doing for years. She belongs here, and more importantly, I want her here.
“What’s good, man? You’ve been stuck in that head of yours for a while. Things going according to plan?”
I pull my eyes from Natalie and tilt back my beer. “If not, we still have tomorrow. We’ll step things up if we have to, but I think Alana is finally giving in to the idea of me moving on with Nat.”
“I don’t think anything needs to be stepped up, Madden.”
“You think she already believes we’re a real couple?” I turn my attention to Alana, who is watching Natalie and Jess bond. She looks jealous, which probably means she expects Natalie to return next year.
Jake lets out a humorless laugh. “Shit, I believe you guys are a real couple; even more now than our last convo. You sure you haven’t been playing me this whole time? Tell me the truth. Are you and Natalie really together? There’s no way your brother would be okay if he saw the way you two have been bonding.”
I shake my head and set my beer down. “Why would
you have to ask that shit? If I was dating someone your ass would be the first to know. You know me, Jake. Trust me, we’re not dating. I’m not sure I could even handle a relationship with anyone because of how fucked up my head is.”
“Could’ve fooled me, brother.” He stands when Seth and the others head toward the girls. “You may think you’re pretending, but at this point, I think it’s a hell of a lot more real than you realize. You just haven’t figured it out yet. And from what I can see, you’re a lot less fucked up in the head than the last time I saw you. Maybe that’s all Natalie’s doing.”
“Fuck off, Jake. I already told you she’s with—”
“I know, dickhead, but I don’t see him bringing her. Just because he’s in the picture, doesn’t mean she wasn’t meant to be yours to begin with. I’m just saying… be careful before you start to believe that yourself. I’m just looking out for you. As your best friend, that’s my fucking job.”
Jake walks away and I remain sitting here, beer in hand, as I watch Natalie laugh at something Seth said. Her smile has my fucking heart about to burst. I’m starting to question if maybe Jake is on to something. If he is, then I’m totally fucked.
The timer beeping on my phone has me standing from the picnic table and heading inside to take dinner out of the oven. I’m not the best cook, but ever since I threw together a meatloaf years ago, the others have asked me to continue cooking it each year. Not that I’m complaining. It’s about the only thing I can cook, and a home cooked meal is nice once in a while when you spend most of your time on the road.
“Smells good in here.” Alana’s voice has me tensing as I set the pan on the stove to cool off. “I’ve been waiting the whole trip for this.”
I exhale and grip the kitchen island, my gaze meeting hers. “I have to make it, so I figured I might as well do it tonight while we’re all still somewhat sober.”
Reckless Rock Star (Cocky Hero Club) Page 19
