I don't know what I was thinking; she's a big girl. She's gotta be over a hundred pounds, for sure, but she's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen: big eyes, a giant head, and a thick black body. I can see why people are scared of dogs this big, but she's so sweet that I can't imagine anyone being afraid of her. I lean in to give her a hug, and as I wrap my arms around her head I hear a deep low "grrr" sound, and I just back out of instinct. As soon as I let go she's back to looking me normally again, and I slowly put my hand on her head to scratch. "So I guess you don’t like being grabbed, huh?" I'm learning already- no grabbing, got it. I forgot that she's coming from another home. Who knows what she went through. I guess having a dog is kind of like being in a relationship, I'm gonna have to learn as I go.
I'm still feeling terrible about leaving her. I start to get ready as Jordan plops herself down on the ground and rolls on her side, he big brown belly sticking up in the air. I wash up and get dressed, and when I walk out from my room she's fast asleep and I can hear the snores all the way across the room. I walk over and crouch down next to her and gently rub her belly. For a minute I half expect her to wake up and growl at me again, but she doesn't move. My fingers are like a kid on a roller coaster, and I hold them still for a minute as the rise and fall of her deep breathing guides me up and down. She's had babies before. I didn't notice until just now, but since she's on her side I can see that's she been a mama at least once before, probably more than that. Probably some idiot looking to make a few bucks selling puppies. God, the world is full of idiots. "I gotta go, baby," I say to her, as if she knows what the hell I mean. "I wish I could stay, or that I had some kind of doggie babysitter..." I stop myself. If I were a cartoon there's be a little lightbulb drawn right over my head. I'm so smart sometimes I even scare myself. "Hold on." I say to still sleeping Jordan, and pick up my cell phone off the coffee table.
Fifteen minutes later I get the text:
I'm here. Let me in.
"Don't look so unhappy," I say to Kevin, who's maybe the best friend a girl ever had...after Mia, that is.
"You're just lucky I love dogs." He says back.
"I'm just lucky that my best friend is dating Single White Female, and would obviously jump at any chance to get away from her crazy ass for a few hours."
"Yeah," he says smiling, "that too. But I really do love dogs."
"Who doesn't?" I ask. "Especially ones as cute as her." Kevin stops in his tracks when he sees Jordan lying there, awake and licking herself in all her glory.
"You've lost your mind." He says to me all judgmentally.
"What?"
"What? How can you stand there and pretend to not know what I'm referring to? That's a big fuckin' dog, D."
"And the winner of the most obvious statement of the night goes to..."
"Seriously? A Rottie? Why her?"
"Don't hate just because she outweighs you, Kev. And I don't know," I say, remembering seeing her for the first time a few hours ago, "there was just something about her." I suddenly realize the time. "Shit, I gotta go I'm gonna be late."
"I'm shocked."
"Shut up. Oh," I yell as I'm running out the door "I got toys and her food over there in the kitchen." As Kevin and I are talking Jordan wakes up from her nap and walks over to greet her new friend. Kevin reaches his hand down to her nose and she sniffs it intently, never taking her eyes off of him, like she's making sure he's one of the good guys. "Don't put your arms around her head or neck, she might kill you, then I'll have to clean all the blood out of my carpet after work, and I don't need the hassle."
"Funny," he says, "I can see the headlines now: 'kind friend killed by Rottweiler while dog-sitting'"
"You're so dramatic; she's a sweetie, look at her."
"I am," he says seriously, "won't be taking my eyes off of her, actually."
"They can smell fear, you know, maybe man up a little, just to be on the safe side, you know?"
"Hey, aren't you late?" He's had enough of my not-so-gentle sarcasm. He's also right, I'm late as hell and need to get going.
"Yeah, yeah, her food is in the kitchen." As I say this Jordan comes over and licks Kevin's face up and down, and I can see him fighting off a smile. He loves her, and hopefully she doesn't maul him while I'm at Sally's.
"But how much do I feed. . ."
I run out before he finishes his question - he'll figure it out, and I know that he's secretly happy that he can get away from Margot for a while.
It's already getting dark outside and it's only four o'clock. I love the fall; Mia and I have that in common, but I could definitely live without stupid daylight savings time making it dark this early. My hair starts to blow around in the autumn air that's surrounding me. The air has such a distinctive smell this time of year, and I take a deep breath as I pull the hair out of my face. It's getting chilly, but I like the cold.
Sally's isn't that far, so I decide to walk. The responsible thing would definitely be to get in my crappy old car and drive, but at this point I'm pretty sure I can walk faster than the jalopy can go. When I'm rich and famous I'm getting the car of my dreams! Still waiting on that check in the mail from my long lost wealthy relative. Oh well, in the meantime I'll just save up my pancake-serving tips until I have enough for a Massarsti.
There's a man across the street on the corner. He's wearing a dark hoodie and old, beat up looking jeans. I can't see his face, the streetlight on that corner's been out for weeks now, but for some reason he catches my attention. I can't make out his face from this distance, but there's something about the way he's facing me that's making me uncomfortable. I can't see his eyes, but I feel like he's staring right at me, and I get their weird, inexplicable chill run down my back, like my body's warning me that something's wrong. I stay facing him for a minute and just when I'm about to yell out to see who he is he turns and starts walking away. That's was the weirdest thing ever. Shut up and stop being paranoid! The real danger is at Sally's when she whops your butt for being late. I turn the opposite direction and start walking towards town. I know I'm being crazy, but for some reason that man really freaked me out.
Chapter 5
I need a new job!
Seriously, I can't deal with customers anymore. Bring me this, get me more that! And why is it that the nastiest ones always leave the worse tips? They should pay you for your rudeness, but I guess it doesn't work that way.
Amazingly I made it here on time; I started walking faster after I saw that creep across the street. But I don't wanna think about that now, there are still a few hours left until the end of the shift, and I have to focus all my energy on napkin-getting. FML.
A customer hands me the money for the check and asks me to bring it up to the front of the house. Who invented this tradition? Whoever wrote the waitress handbook needs a good slap in the mouth. I'm not looking where I'm going as I head to the front to hand the check to Sally at the register. I don't even realize what's happening, all I feel is the force hit against my body, and all I see is the customer's cash hit the floor. I just crashed into someone. I'm such a clutz! I don't even look up; my first thought is just to pick up the money I see scattered all over the floor. "I'm so sorry, I should have been looking." I say as I pick up the ten and twenty dollar bill sitting at my feet.
"That's quite alright, what's a little chest bump among friends." I know that voice! Oh my God, did I just bump into. . .
"Kane!" I say, looking up into his eyes. From down here he looks like a giant. He looks like a giant even when I'm standing up, but especially from this perspective. He reaches down to help me up, and I grip his hand as hard as I can. He pulls me up like I was weightless, and I'm back on my feet like I had never even fallen.
"I think I should be the one apologizing," he says in his deep voice, "are you alright?"
"Fine," I say, not wanting to play the damsel in distress, "I'm always fine."
"You're a terrible liar," he says sarcastically, "but don't worry, I won't tell anyone."
"What are you doing here?" I ask him suspiciously.
"Now, is that anyway to greet a paying customer? I heard the service here was much more friendly than this."
"I see we're taking up right where we left off, huh?"
"With you on your knees?"
"You wish."
"You're not wrong on that one."
The truth is that I'm excited to see him. I'd never let him know that, and it seems crazy to even feel that way now based on how I felt when I first met him, but it's the truth. It's been a while, and he's the closest thing to a familiar face that I have right now - and what a face it is! "Of course I'm not, have you seen me?" I'm joking of course, I'm probably the most insecure girl in the room, but I've learned to hide that part of me and just go along with how the world sees me.
"Not in a while, no." He answers. It's true, it's been a while since we've seen each other outside of the wedding.
"And who's fault is that?" I ask, my voice betraying my attempt to sound aloof.
"Oh, you miss me, don't you?" He answers with a huge arrogant grin appearing on his face, "that's adorable. You should've just called me. I get it, I have that effect on women."
"Are you really as arrogant as you seem, or is it just an act for me?" It's a real question, and I already know the answer...well, sort of. The first time I met Kane it was like meeting two different people in one; first he was the guy who's standing in front of me now - the good looking, wealthy playboy who's a little too aware of all of those things. But he was also the concerned, caring brother and friend. He was sensitive to Mia's needs and scared to death for his Wesley's safety. I wonder which one is the real Kane? Maybe he wears the same masks we all wear in public - his mask is just a douchey one!
I walk away from him when I see the lady who gave me her check waving at me from across the room. After I get Miss Impatient her change so she can leave me a bad tip, I realize that it's just about time for my break. Normally I'd just go in the back or step outside for some fresh air, but I feel bad about Kane, so I decide to join him.
"You know it's sad for a grown man to eat alone," I say as I sit down uninvited.
"Is that right?" He asks, "I like eating alone, actually."
"Of course you do."
"What's that supposed to mean?" He asks as I smile, ear to ear. It was kind of a bitchy thing to say, but I couldn't resist.
"It means that I'm not surprised that you like to be alone."
"That isn't quite what I said," he answers sharply, "and I don't like to be by myself for too long, for your information."
"Okay," I say not knowing what else to say. This whole interaction has been weird since the moment he walked in, and I feel like we're both passengers on the awkward train. I hate being this way with him, but it's like some weird default sarcasm setting that I just go into sometimes without realizing it. Maybe if I try to be real he'll do the same. "Do you miss Wesley?" I ask.
"Miss him? We've lived together for our whole lives, I'm happy to finally have the place to myself after all these years." He's lying; it's getting easier for me to tell when he's putting up defenses, so all I can think to do is push a little.
"Kane?" I say, giving him my bullshit calling eyebrow raise. He pauses and just looks at me, and for a minute I see a flicker of the real him behind those beautiful eyes.
"Maybe a little, yeah." He confesses. "I do miss him. Do you miss Mia?"
"I never lived with her so it's different."
"That isn't what I meant," he says.
"Then what?"
"Do you miss that she's wrapped up in her newlywed life, when it used to be just the two of you." His words are like a snipers bullet; perfectly timed and destructive in their accuracy. They hit me right in the heart, and all of a sudden my little game of who can be more real gets turned on me completely.
"Touché"
"I didn't mean it like that at all," he says genuinely, "it's a real question." He is being sincere, despite his nature. I've seen him like this before, on the first night we met over a year ago. His whole demeanor changes when he's like this; his eyes are more gentle, and the tone of his voice is softer. I can get used to this Kane, but it never lasts for too long. But I decide to go with it anyhow.
"I miss her a lot, actually," I say, being totally honest, "but I'm trying not to dwell."
"And how's that going?" He asks.
"Terribly." We both laugh, and it feels nice to smile.
"Well we can't have that now, can we?" He asks. "How about this, what time are you done serving pancakes to these people?"
"Waffles," I correct, and "in about an hour. Why?"
"Because in about an hour I'm going to take you out and get your mind off of...whatever." Oh wow! He's asking me out and I can't tell if he means it romantically or not, and there's no way to ask that without sounding weird and desperate. Why can guys be so ambiguous sometimes?
"Yeah," I say, resisting the urge to be sarcastic, "that might be nice."
"It's a date then." I nod and get up. My ten minutes is almost up and I wanna finish my shift. "I forgot, you know." I turn around to his words, not knowing what they mean.
"What?" I ask him.
"How beautiful," he says in the most sincere voice yet, "I forgot how beautiful you are." Oh. Wow. I'm not usually at a loss for words, but that one got me. I'm so taken aback that all I can do is smile and turn away. Back to their waffles before my date with Kane.
Chapter 6
As I finish the last few minutes of my shift, all I can think about is that Kane just asked me out. And when I'm done with that, my second thought is how awful I most look. I've been running around serving people all night, and I'm kind of horrified at the idea of going out in public like this - especially with a guy as hot as Kane is.
I get the checks to my last few tables before going into the back to take off my apron. What am I doing? Am I completely dumb for accepting Kane's invitation? I've got maybe the worst track record ever when it comes to making decisions about guys. Either I choose the wrong one or the wrong one chooses me. Either way the key word is 'wrong.' All the ones who have ever been interested in me have something broken in them, and Kane is probably no different. But I know where his issues come from, and I don't blame him for having them. I wonder if he's ever dealt with the trauma his family went through, or if he just ignores it like I do. Maybe one day he'll tell me.
But enough dramatic stuff, I have a date! Well, sort of, at least it sounded that way. I mean, what guy goes out of his way to tell you how beautiful you are if he isn't interested in you? Who knows with Kane; for all I know this is some trick he's playing, or he's trying to manipulate me in some way. Jesus, I'm messed up! C'mon, Dacia, just because you've left a small battalion of losers and ex boyfriends in your wake doesn't mean you have to pick the wrong guy. I can psycho analyze myself later - 'psycho' being the key word, but now I need to answer the text from Kane telling me to meet him out back.
After I say goodnight to everyone (Sally still looks pissed at me btw) I put my apron away and head out the back door. I'm not two steps outside when I see him standing there next to what must be the most expensive car ever made - who the hell actually owns a Bugatti! He's leaving against the side of it like a character out of a movie, and the bizarre part is that he's waiting for me to get in. "Like I said, beautiful."
"You can stop trying to be charming now, you got me," I joke, "I'll be in your passenger seat in about ten seconds." I can't help but stare at the car; I've never seen alike like it outside of a James Bond movie or a classic car show. "Are you serious with this?"
"What?" He asks. I give him my you-know-what look. "Oh, the car?" He asks, clearly knowing what I meant the whole time.
"Yeah, the car. I'd be nervous even taking this out. Was it parked on the street this whole time?"
"It was, yes." He answers.
"You like living dangerously, I see."
"Oh, you have no idea." Yeah, I'm starting to see that. The truth is it is
n't just the car I can't stop staring at; Kane is every bit the hottie that his brother is - maybe even more so for my taste. Wesley is gorgeous; don't get me wrong; right now I'm sure Mia's the envy of every woman in...wherever the hell they are, but Kane is equally good looking. His eyes are piercing, set inside a perfectly framed face; masculine and strong, but full of complexities. He doesn't so much look at me as he does look into me. He's much taller than I am, and even though I've never seen him without his expensive clothes on, the shape of his muscular body is obvious. He looks good; and even better telling me I'm beautiful while leaning against a car that costs more than I'll ever make in my entire life.
"Ready?" He asks me, motioning to the passenger side door that's already open for me. Not sure if I'll ever be ready for him.
"Ready for what," I ask, "where exactly are you taking me in this fine vehicle, looking like a waitress that just got off a long dinner shift?"
"You're too hard on yourself, you know that?"
"So I've been told," I answer. It's weird with me and Kane - it's like only one of us can be serious at a time. Either he's sincere while I'm using my humor as a shield, or vice versa, but we never seem to be on the same emotional page. But I have to say, this is the most sincere I've seen him be, and that has to be a good thing.
"We'll work on it," he says, "I'll keep complimenting you until you believe me, and in return you'll agree to not ask where I'm taking you."
"No way, I hate surprises."
"Who hates surprises?" He asks sincerely, like he's legitimately taken aback by my refusal.
Impressions of Me (Impressions Series Book 2) Page 5
