“No, no, it’s alright, I’m okay.” I lean over in my chair and wrap my arms around her. I feel terrible that she’s upset now, and I end up comforting her instead of it being the other way around.
“You’re not okay, Dacia, you’re in serious danger and being stalked by that crazy asshole. . . again!” I put my index finger over my mouth because she’s yelling, and even though it’s out of concern I don’t want the whole nail place to know my business. “I’m sorry,” she says, her voice lowering to her normal volume, “but I don’t know what to feel right now.”
“That makes two of us. And I hope you see why I didn’t want to tell you any of this while you were off enjoying your honeymoon, I knew you’d take it like this and I didn’t want to ruin your good time. No sense in both of us being fucked up, right?”
“I get it, and I appreciate you taking my feelings into consideration, but you should have told me, D. What if something happened to you and I didn’t even know what was going on? I would have felt horrible. On top of that, Wesley can help – look at what he was able to find out with Annabelle.”
“Kane’s helping,” I say, “That’s actually all he’s been doing this whole time. I’ve been staying at his place, and he’s been trying to use his connections to find out some information about Derrick’s whereabouts. As it turns out, both of the Marsden boys have connections. We were going to talk about all this at dinner, but I just couldn’t wait until then to tell you.” While we’re talking I can faintly hear my phone vibrating in my pocket, rattling against my keys and other things, but I decide to ignore it. I’ve waited to have this conversation for too long, and the last thing I’m going to do is be rude and answer a text or email. They can wait. After getting the first burst of shocking news out, I give Mia all the details. The only difference between telling Kane and telling her is that Mia was around the first time Derrick lost his mind and tried to hurt me. She was there when I woke up in the hospital – her and Kevin – they were actually the first people I saw when I opened my eyes. She was also by my side through all the therapy, and the sleepless nights where I’d call her in a panic because I was convinced he was still right there, waiting to hurt me again.
“I can’t believe I’m even hearing this creep’s name again, let alone that he’s trying to get to you a second time.”
“I know. I can’t believe it either, but here we are again.” Saying it to her makes me emotional, and I start to cry in the middle of the salon. I’m so embarrassed because I’m really not a cryer, and the few times I have cried it’s been in private, or around close friends. But I’ve never broken down sobbing in a room full of women getting their hair permed and their nails done. I’m a little bit horrified, but I can’t seem to control it.
“It’s okay, D. We’ll get through this together. . . all of us.”
I don’t even realize an hour’s passed once the ladies are done with our nails. After I finished crying like a baby Mia and I agreed to discuss the details of a plan later on at dinner with everyone, and we spend the majority of the hour just being ourselves – just being best friends. I remember that I brought a magazine with me – one of the many things Kane had been kind enough to get for me for the time I’ve been staying at his place with very little to do. I dog-eared a page that had a hair color that I really love, and put it in my bag for this exact moment. We walk over to the other part of the salon where the girl who’s always done my hair is finishing up with her last client, and I pull the magazine out of my bag. “What do you think?”
I ask, holding the page open to show Mia. She stares at it for a few seconds and I’m trying to read the expression she’s making – or not making – to gauge how she feels about it, but I really can’t tell. If she hates it then she’s hiding it perfectly, because I have no idea what she thinks until she looks up at me and smiles.
“I think it’s perfect for you,” she says, “You’re going to look even more beautiful than you normally do.” It’s settled in my mind after she says that; and I know that it’s the right choice. It’s funny that Mia always does that – she always makes little comments on how beautiful I am, but if she only knew how insecure I really am. Maybe the hair will help with that a little bit. As the girl is working on my hair I can hear my bag vibrating again a few times while I’m getting my hair done, but I leave it there. I’m having too much of a good time being here with Mia and changing up my look, so I decide to take it all in, and to enjoy the moment rather than worrying about everything that’s been happening.
It takes a while, but when she’s done my heart starts racing. I can see the smile on Mia’s face and I go from slightly nervous to nervous in a good way – the kind of feeling you have on Christmas morning when you first wake up. I feel like I’m in a makeover show because the stylist is facing my spinning chair towards her, and after she asks me if I’m ready, she spins me around so I can see myself in the mirror. Holy shit! I love it so much that it takes me a few seconds to process that it’s actually me in the mirror. It’s not red-red, more auburn, and you can still see my natural color underneath. It’s the perfect blend of the old and the new me – if there’s such a thing as a new me. “You look gorgeous.” Mia says, and I turn around in my chair.
“In the least conceited way I can say this – I know!” We both giggle, and I keep running my hands through it, smiling ear-to-ear the entire time.
“I’m starving, it’s hard work sitting here watching you get your hair dyed, wanna get some lunch?”
“Yeah, sure.” I reach into my bag to pay as we’re leaving, and the woman at the counter tells me that it’s been taken care of, and I can’t believe it. When I ask by who, she clicks around a few times on her computer screen.
“Mr. . . Kane Marsden.” She tells me. I can’t believe he paid for all this. Then again, I guess I can. It’s obvious that he has feelings for me, and I already knew that money is no object for him, especially for something like this, which I’d consider expensive. Mia hears all this, and grins.
“That sounds like something you do for your girlfriend, btw.” She’s right. He’s doing boyfriend things, and treating me like his girlfriend, but he just won’t use any words that define what we are to one other. Maybe that’s dumb, maybe categories like that shouldn’t matter to me at all, but they kind of do. I’ve got bigger issues than that right now, anyways.
As we step outside Mia asks me where I want to go, but then I realize that John should be here to pick me up, and I tell her to hold on a second. I walk around the corner to see if John’s there, and to ask if he can drive us to lunch, but his car isn’t there. I walk back to where Mia is waiting for me and tell her that Kane had me driven because he’s worried about me. Then immediately I hear my phone vibrating again in my bag, only this time it’s the long, continuous vibrations of an actual call, not a text. The sound of it reminds me that I probably have a bunch of messages and notifications, since I chose to pretty much abandon the phone during our appointments, so I give Mia the ‘hold on’ index finger and reach into my bag. It’s Kane. I pick up immediately because I can’t really think of why he’d be calling me right now.
“Hey.” I say, trying to yell over the passing cars.
“Where the hell are you? Is John with you?” I can hear the panic in his voice; I didn’t think that he needed to go so far as to check in with me, but it make sense now that John seems to be missing.
“I’m with Mia, just finished getting everything done, I think you’re gonna love. . .”
“Where’s John,” he hells, interrupting me. I can tell he’s aggravate and worried.
“No idea, I was just wondering that myself. We’ve been in there a few hours but his car isn’t out front or where he dropped me off around the corner. Why do you sound so concerned?” I ask.
“He’s never not there when I call, and given the situation I just go scared. But I guess if he just went out somewhere while he was waiting for you.” When he says those particular words it hits me like a brick to the
face. My apartment! I asked John to get my shoes for tonight, and no one’s seen or heard from him since. Oh Jesus!
“Kane, let me call you back in fifteen minutes, okay.”
“Wait, why?” he screams.
“I just need you to trust me. Fifteen minutes; keep your phone on you.” I hang up without him responding and turn to Mia. “Do you have your car?”
“Yeah, why, what’s going on?”
“I’ll explain on the way, but you need to take me to my place ASAP.”
“Okay, let’s go.”
Chapter 16
Panic.
It’s the only word that comes to mind right now. Anxiety like I’m feeling now is difficult to explain to people who’ve never experienced it. It feels like drowning; like your entire body exists only to shake in terror, and an all-encompassing fear overcomes every sense that you have. That’s as close as I can describe how I feel when Mia pulls up by my house and I see John’s car still parked outside. There’s no reason that John should still be here – I doubt he’s hanging out on my sofa watching Netflix almost three hours after he dropped me off at the salon – so I have the worst feeling when I see the car.
“What’s going on?” Mia asks me as we pull up to the curb. I wish I had a good answer for her.
“This guy, John, he’s Kane’s driver,” I start to explain as she parks, “I asked him to come get a pair of shoes for me for tonight since I haven’t been back here, but that was right when we got to the salon, he shouldn’t still be here.”
“Shit, you don’t think. . .”
“I don’t know, let’s go see.” I don’t feel like talking about what may have happened I just jump out of the car and run to my front door with Mia right behind me. When we get there I see that it’s ajar. “Shit.” This can’t be a good sign – I push open the front door, and yell out John’s name to no response. Mia comes in right behind me and does the same. I jolt over to my bedroom, still yelling his name, and see that my door is closed. I don’t remember if I left it that way or not, so I shove it open, practically running into it with my body because I’m so panicked. As it flies open and I nearly go off balance I yell “Joh. . .” The words just stop, and my worst fear seems to be coming true right in front of my eyes. Mia follows again, and I feel her right behind me as she says,
“Oh my God.” I just stand there, frozen, afraid to move a single inch towards the scene that I’m experiencing as though it were a bad dream that I’m having. Mia pushes right past me and rushes to the floor by my closet, where John’s lying face down on the floor. “Dacia, help me!” she yells, and the sound of her voice makes my body move again. She rolls him over and I can see that he’s seriously hurt; his face is a bloody mess, and there are stains of blood all over his nice suit. Oh God, what have I done! “John. . . John, wake up, can you hear me?” Mia’s yelling and putting her ear to his mouth. “He’s alive, but we have to get him to a hospital right now.”
I take out my phone and dial 911. I can barely get the words out, but somehow I manage to explain to the operator what’s happened, and she tells me that an ambulance and a police car will be arriving shortly. “Stay with him, I have to make a phone call.” Mia nods and keeps talking to John, and I know that both of us are thinking the same thing: Derrick. That crazy fucker must have been stalking my place, and when he saw a man he didn’t know walk into my house he lost it. I don’t want to have to explain this disaster to Kane, but I have no choice. I dial and wait, and each ring makes my heart beat even faster than it already is. “Kane, you need to get here right away.” When he asks me why I just tell him that John’s been hurt, and I that I called an ambulance, and that I’d explain everything else once he got here.
Fifteen minutes can seem an eternity when you’re crouched on your bedroom floor cradling an unconscious man. When you add the guilt of knowing that it’s my fault he’s in this condition, time moves even slower. I can hear the screech of Kane’s car as it pulls up in front, and I rush out to meet him. By the time I get to the front door he’s already inside looking worried. “What the hell happened?” I don’t even bother with an explanation just yet; I just wave him into the bedroom where Mia is sitting with the still unconscious John. “Holy shit,” he yells as he falls to the ground. “What the fuck happened here?”
“It was Derrick. . . I know it was.”
“Why was John even over here, he was supposed to drop you off and drive around until you were done.”
Here’s the moment I’ve been dreading – the moment where I have to explain the reason John was almost killed. “I asked him to come,” I tell Kane. There’s no beating around the bush at this point, and I’d rather just get it out. “I asked him to get me something for tonight, and he agreed to come by. I gave him my house key and thought I’d see him again a few minutes into our appointment. I never thought that. . . this would happen.” After I finish my sentence I can hear the ambulance sirens in the distance quickly approaching, getting louder as they do. Before I know it I hear my front door being kicked in, and the paramedics come over and attend to John. Watching them surround his limp body and use all sorts of medical language feels like I’m watching one of those bad medical dramas on TV – only it’s happening for real, and to a man whose only crime was trying to do a woman he barely knows a favor so she could look nice. And for that he gets assaulted and almost murdered by Derrick. When will all of this drama end?
About five minutes later John’s being loaded into the back of the ambulance with all sorts of tubes attached to him. He looks like hell, and all I can do is hope that he makes it through this, no matter what else happens. As they take him away, sirens blasting, Kane, Mia and I just stand on my front lawn, staring into the distance as the sirens get fainter and fainter, each of us at a loss for words. It’s Kane who breaks the silence first.
“Can you please explain what the hell I just witnessed?” he asks me, rage boiling just behind his eyes. I’ve never seen him so angry, and I can’t really tell if it’s towards me, or Derrick, or just the situation in general.
“It’s pretty much what I said when you first got here. I wanted to look nice for dinner tonight, and I needed a pair of shoes from my closet. John was nice enough to say that he’d come get them for me.” I pause, thinking back on the sweetness of his face as he offered to go, and tears form in my eyes. “I never thought that he’d be in danger or I wouldn’t have asked him. I thought police were searching all over the place and that Derrick was on the run. How was I supposed to know he was waiting in the most obvious place for me?” I start to cry uncontrollably, and I feel Mia’s arms around me in no time.
“It’s okay, D., he’s going to be okay.”
“You don’t know that!” I scream. Mia jumps back at the sound of my sudden scream, then comes back and holds on to me. I think this is my breaking point – my rock bottom. As weird as it sounds, I was preparing myself this entire time for something terrible to happen to me, and I was okay with that if it did. But the sight of my problems hurting someone else who isn’t even a part of the whole thing is too much for me to handle. I feel my feet go out from under me, and Mia’s grip break. Before I know it I’m crouched on the ground, my tears watering the front lawn like a sprinkler. I’m lost in a haze of my own sadness when I feel his arms underneath me, scooping me up like I’m a child, and carrying me across the lawn into my house. I can see Mia following behind, and I look over into Kane’s beaufuil eyes, which are no longer angry at all, but looking at me as softly and kindly as they ever have. “Mia’s right,” he whispers to me, “It is okay, and everything is going to stay that way.”
When he says those words everything inside me feels different. My anxiety and sadness are muted, and while I wouldn’t say that I feel good, I definitely feel like I’ve come out of the craziness of my mind. I’m still crying, but I’m starting to calm slightly. The feeling of being held in the air – of having no care in the world – is very comforting, and the fact that it’s Kane holding me up is even
more impactful. “Do you believe me?” he asks, still looking at me as he walks.
“I do.” I say back shakily.
“Good,” he responds in that same comforting whisper, “Because it’s the truth.”
He gently places me down on my couch, and Mia brings me over a bottle of water from the fridge. Kane sits down next to me and begins stroking my hair. “Now, listen to me, did you call the police?” I nod. “Good, they should be here any minute, and you’re going to tell them exactly what happened, okay?” I nod again. “And then, when that’s over, I’m taking you back to my place, and I’m going to check on John in the hospital.”
“I ruined your dinner. I ruined everything.” I’m so out of it that I can tell what I’m saying is dumb, but I can’t stop the words from coming out. It’s almost as if I need to feel guilty because it’s all that I have control over at the moment.
“Stop it, you didn’t ruin anything. It’s just a stupid dinner, and more importantly, none of this is your fault, do you understand? None of it.” I lean over and bury my head in his chest as he continues to say comforting things and hold on to me tightly. I can hear distant sirens again, only this time I know that they’re police sirens. I have a lot of explaining to do.
“Fuck, the last thing I want to do is talk to them right now. I can’t stop worrying about John.”
“Don’t worry,” Kane says to me, “I’ll help you with everything, and it’ll all be over soon. And Mia, let’s say you and Wesley come over tonight for a much less formal dinner than we planned for. I think Dacia could use some familiar faces.”
“Agreed. And hi, by the way.
“Hi,” he says back to her, smiling for a moment. It’s true, they haven’t even greeted each other until now, but it’s an unusual circumstance, to say the least. And Kane’s right, I wouldn’t use the word ‘normal’ for anything going on right now, but it would be nice to see everyone. As long as I know John’s okay (or that he will be), then I can try to relax and enjoy myself as much as possible. But first thing’s first.
Impressions of Me (Impressions Series Book 2) Page 14
