‘OK, I’ll do it now,’ I tell her, sounding a lot more positive than I feel.
Chapter Seven
Back in the sitting room I sidle up to Luke and tell him I want a private word with him. He looks dead pleased and I feel really mean as I lead him into the now empty study.
‘About earlier,’ I say awkwardly. I’m about to explain to him that I don’t think our going out together is such a good idea.
‘I know . . . I’m sorry about that,’ he says, in a rush. I know he’s referring to the fact that he was about to kiss me on the roundabout. ‘I shouldn’t have . . . it was stupid. I don’t know what came over me, or rather I do. I’ve fancied you forever . . . well, you probably know that.’
He’s fiddling with the lamp on the desk and my heart gives a little lurch. He’s so nice. ‘Let’s pretend it never happened?’ he says. I stop myself pointing out that it didn’t actually happen. Obviously, in his mind at least, it did.
Miranda comes bursting in through the door.
‘Come on, you two,’ she says, dragging us out, ‘we’re about to start a game of spin the bottle.’
Everyone’s in the sitting room. All the girls are sitting in a big circle and the boys are scattered around the room. Even the Sixth Formers are joining in, but I can’t see Seth anywhere. Then Lucy comes in, pulling him behind her.
‘Look who I found hiding in the kitchen,’ she says, pushing him on to the sofa. I can see he doesn’t look too pleased, but he stays put.
The game begins and a few couples go into the hall and return looking either embarrassed or ecstatic, depending. Ryan is chosen as the next boy up and Chelsea spins the bottle. It lands on Sasha. Well, there’s a surprise. I detect a set-up, and I’m not wrong. They’re out there for ages and in the end Chelsea has to go out and drag them back in. Then Seth is chosen and Lucy spins the bottle. I hold my breath. I don’t know how she does it, but it lands on me. I grin broadly and then remember what Sasha said about him liking shy girls so I tone it down and try to look coy.
When we get out into the hall there’s an embarrassed silence. I’m waiting for him to take me in his arms and kiss me but he just stands there.
Eventually he says, ‘You don’t mind if we just pretend that we’ve kissed, do you?’
This is awful. Why does he keep rejecting me?
‘Are you going out with someone?’ I ask him.
He shuffles his feet. ‘Not exactly.’
‘Well, neither “exactly” am I, so there’s no harm. It’s only a kiss.’ And before he can object again I grab him by the front of his T-shirt and start kissing him. His lips are sort of stiff beneath mine. I make mine all soft but keep the pressure on, waiting for him to get into it. It’s not long before I admit defeat and pull away. I feel so humiliated.
I go back into the sitting room, but Seth doesn’t follow me. Instead he disappears up the stairs. Everyone’s looking at me. ‘What have you done with him?’ asks Ryan.
‘Oh, he had to go upstairs and lie down to recover,’ I tell them with a forced giggle. They make noises at this and then the game resumes and I sit back down in the circle. I’m all churned up. That didn’t happen like it was meant to. I’m mortified – and cross, I realise. Even if he didn’t want to kiss me he could have made an effort. It’s only polite. It’s not like I’ve got leprosy, although that’s how he made me feel. I’m not sure I like him any more.
I decide to forget about the last ten minutes. Who needs boys anyway? I’ll be far too busy having fun with all my ‘new’ friends. Before I know it I’m off in a daydream about all the things we’ll be doing together and how much fun school will be. I don’t notice that Miranda has grabbed the bottle and that it’s swung towards me and that Luke is the next boy up. Lucy obviously hasn’t kept her up to date and she thinks she’s doing Luke a favour.
There’s nothing for it but to go out into the hall with him. There are a few cat-calls from some of his male friends as we leave the room.
We stand in the hall and, for a moment, I think that he’s going to make an excuse not to kiss me as well. I wouldn’t blame him.
‘Well, Miss Watkins, I suppose we’d better get on with it,’ he says, sounding like Sean Connery from a Bond movie. ‘We wouldn’t want them to have to send out a search party.’ He’s grinning at me and he takes my hand and pulls me towards him. ‘Brace yourself, I’m coming in.’
The kiss starts off a bit funny because I’m laughing. But then he puts his hand very gently on the back of my head and pulls me into it. It’s not that fireworks go off or anything but my insides do go all mushy. It feels wonderfully comfortable and familiar. I even venture to put my hands round his waist. My heart is beating fast and I realise that it’s excitement and something else that I’m not familiar with. Love? Lust? I don’t know, but I’m fairly sure that when Seth kissed me it was only pounding with nerves. Kissing someone you know you like is completely different from kissing someone you think you fancy, I decide.
Eventually they do send the search party out. The sitting-room door opens and Miranda comes out. ‘Stop it, you two,’ she says, ‘the game finished ages ago.’
We go and join the others. As we start dancing, Luke says in my ear, ‘Do you want to pretend that that didn’t happen?’
‘We’ll see,’ I say, and as I dance I can’t stop smiling.
I don’t think I’m a complete floozy. I just didn’t see what was under my nose. I remember, in the old life, Luke coming into the art room and asking me to the party. I guess he’s always liked me. Even the other me. If Seth isn’t interested in me because I’m not so shy any more, then that’s his problem. I’m not going to pretend to be something I’m not.
We dance wildly and at one point I’m aware of Seth standing in the doorway watching. I think about going over and dragging him on to the dance floor, but somehow I can’t see him enjoying it. Sasha’s right. He should loosen up a bit, I think, looking at Luke who’s trying to dance and balance a banana on his head at the same time.
I know I should feel strange hanging out with these people, because I’ve hardly ever talked to them before and now we’re bosom buddies, but it doesn’t feel peculiar, it feels right. Natural. As if it was meant to be.
I let the music flow through me and I know that this is going to be a great life – because I’m going to make sure it is.
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Alice in Time Page 20
