“That’d totally be cool!”
“Yeah! Or how about some of them knives?” Thane said, adding a slashing motion.
The boys wandered off, debating the merits on the coolest robotic body parts.
Cam frowned. That was the extent of it? That was what he’d worried about? Sort of anticlimactic.
Soft fingertips gently traced the red marks on his stump. Domini said nothing; she just touched him and he felt it clear down to his soul. He mouthed, “I love you,” and she gave him that special serene smile.
Four shadows fell across him. He looked up as Carter, Colby, Cord, and Colt crouched down.
A tense minute passed when no one spoke.
“Sorry about the boys. They were…curious,” Carter said.
“No harm. I can’t say as I blame them. We’da all done the same thing at their ages.”
“I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, it sucks ass that this happened to you, bro,” Colt said.
Murmured agreements.
Colby poked the fake leg. “How in the hell you walk on this every day is beyond me.”
“Obviously I didn’t do such a bang up job of walkin’ on it today.”
Another bout of silence.
Cord cleared his throat. “I admire the hell outta you for even tryin’.”
“We all do,” Carter added. “But as long as you’re a captive audience, we ain’t letting you up until we’ve had our say.”
Fucking awesome.
“Since you came back you’ve forced us to see things in a new light in this family. So it’s ironic you can’t see what’s right in front of you,” Carter said.
“Did you think we’d look at you differently just because you’re missing a goddamn leg?” Colby’s eyes bored into him. “Did you honestly fucking believe that we’d somehow see you as…weak?”
“Yeah, I did. Look at me. I’m sitting in the fucking skunkweed. I can’t get up by myself. That makes me weak.”
“No, that makes you stupid,” Cord fired back.
“Picking on the cripple, that’s nice, bro.”
Domini didn’t pipe in to defend him. She stayed silent and watchful.
Colby’s arms were crossed over his chest. “I think what Cord—and all of us are sayin’—is we’re goddamned glad you ain’t dead. If anyone is weak in this family, it’s us, because we haven’t kicked your sorry ass before this. We just let you be. Well, that bullshit is over, little bro, I guarantee it. You’re part of this family whether you’re ranchin’ with us or not. Whether you like it or not. So get used to it. We’re gonna be in your face and in your life like we should’ve been all along.”
Cam stared at Colt. Then Cord. Then Colby. Then Carter. His embarrassment at how he’d treated his brothers vanished when he understood how goddamn lucky he was to have them. How he had a chance to make this—another thing that’d gone wrong in his life—right.
“Don’t you have something to say?” Colt prodded.
“You wanna know what sucks worse than ranching?”
“Nothing?” Carter offered.
Chuckles broke out.
“No. It was worse having to face Brandt and tell him about Luke. Losing his brother…I never want to go through that. Ever. Jesus.” Cam stopped, afraid he’d start bawling. Domini’s steady grip on his hand encouraged him to go on. “I never realized how hard it must’ve been on you guys, especially in the beginning, when you didn’t know if I was alive or dead. Then I get back here and I’m not the same guy.”
“Believe it or not, none of us are the same guy since you left when you were eighteen,” Cord said. “You’d know that if you weren’t bein’ such a reclusive asshole.”
Cam winced. “I deserve that and more. Christ. I’m sorry.”
“We’ve all had our bad moments, that’s for damn sure.” Colt flashed him a challenging grin. “So now that all the touchy-feely crap is over…question is: do you need help up?”
Say no. Scream no.
Cam swallowed his pride and his fear. “Yeah. Since I forgot my crutches, that’d be great.”
“See? That wasn’t so hard.”
His brothers carried him to the porch like it was no big deal. He didn’t point out they should’ve carried him to his damn truck so he could go home.
All of a sudden his brothers took off like their boots were on fire. When a sharp gasp sounded, he knew why: his mother stood behind him.
“So, is it worse than you thought?” he asked brusquely, fighting the temptation to cover his limb.
“No. The worst part was not knowing what it looked like.”
Cam tipped his head back. Tears rolled from the corners of his mother’s eyes. Shit. “Ma. Don’t—”
“Don’t you tell me how to react when I see my boy’s blown-off leg for the first time, don’t even try, Cameron West McKay.”
He bit his tongue, letting her to harangue him because he deserved it.
“After they told us you were gonna live through your injuries, I’ll admit after the immediate feeling of relief, I was pissed off at you.”
“Caro…” his dad warned.
She waved him off. “I thought if you would’ve stayed here on the ranch, being a cowboy like your brothers, that this wouldn’t have happened to you.
“But then I think of poor Dag. And now Luke…and what their families—what our family is going through and how it’s ripping them apart on so many levels. Stupid accidents happen everywhere. All the time. No one is immune. No one is ever really safe.” A small sob escaped. “I realized I can’t protect you any more now than when you were my sweet baby boy who was determined to run before you could even walk.”
“Ma.”
“But it doesn’t change the fact I hate that you’re embarrassed about your stump. I hate you don’t understand how I see that stump—not as not a flaw, but a miracle.” She reached for Cam’s hand. “You don’t want to hear this, but I’ll say it anyway. When you went missing…” Her voice cracked. “That was the worst week of my life. Or so I thought.”
Cam frowned.
“But in some ways, it’s been harder having you living in Sundance. When you were in the army, you had an excuse for not being here. I could tell myself you would be with us if you could. Now that you live ten miles away and we still don’t see you, I know it’s your choice to stay away. The lie no longer works and that’s what hurts the most.”
“I never meant to hurt any of you.”
“But you did.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I know you are. And I forgive you even when I still want to paddle your butt.” She kissed his forehead. “But it needed to be said.”
He owed her more than a perfunctory I’m sorry. He owed his entire family more than that.
“Being kicked around by my family when I’ve been down today has been a good thing, believe it or not.” He smiled at Domini. “I don’t want to go back to being the man I was because some changes are for the better.”
“That’s good to hear and I’m happy for you, son. Let us share in your happiness, okay? Let us get to know the different man you’ve become.”
Cam nodded.
“I meant it when I said you’re welcome at our house any time, Carolyn,” Domini said. “You too, Carson.”
Carolyn squeezed their joined hands. “That means a lot. Cameron’s been back in Wyoming for a while but it took you to really bring him home to us. Thank you.”
His dad just patted his shoulder and then Domini’s. Twice. Then he slipped his arm around his mother’s waist and murmured to her as they walked off by themselves.
As soon as his folks were gone, the screen door slammed.
Keely wrapped her arms around Domini from behind, setting her chin on Domini’s shoulder. “Relax, I’m not gonna choke you for ordering me away from my own brother. I deserved it. I just wanted to ask if you’re glad you took my naked advice?”
Domini blushed when Cam lifted an eyebrow at her. “Very glad. The best advice I
ever had.”
“Good, because I’ll be honest, Domini, I wasn’t sure if you were…assertive enough to handle my tough-as-nails brother.”
Sometimes his sister had the tact of an ape. “Keely, what the hell is wrong with you?”
“No, it’s okay, Cam, let her finish,” Domini said, running her hand down his forearm.
“See? That’s why you two fit so perfectly.” Keely leaned into Domini. “You’re quiet and sweet, but that’s deceiving because you have an inner core of pure steel. I always thought Cam would need a woman who is as hardheaded and tenacious as he is. But Cam needs someone like you, a woman who gives him a soft place to land as well as quiet strength. You understand him in ways none of us ever have.” Keely’s eyes filled with tears and Cam felt himself tearing up. “I will always be grateful to you for that. And I am so happy you found each other.”
Domini murmured in Ukrainian.
“What? Are you swearing at me after I spilled my guts?” Keely demanded.
She laughed. “No, I just remembered a Ukrainian proverb: she who weeps with joy for others will find joy in return.”
“Sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever get married. Being around these McKay males, I have very high standards for a man and no man has ever come close.”
Anton and Gracie bounded over.
“I wouldn’t mind having kids though. Just girls.” She smirked. “You guys gonna join the McKay baby parade soon?”
Cam said, “Nah. We’ve already got a jump on our family.” He ruffled Anton’s hair. “One kid is plenty, right?”
Gracie barked in agreement.
“Since the boys had such a great time today I thought I’d offer to take Anton for an overnight. Ky’s coming. So are Gib and Thane. It’ll be fun.”
Cam looked at Anton. “You interested?”
“I dunno. Do you want me to go?”
“I thought maybe we could chill out at home. Pop some popcorn, check out that Transformers movie so I can see why Ky and Thane and Gib were all fired up about me having robot parts.”
Anton grinned. “That’d be cool.”
“There’s your answer, sis. We’re goin’ home. But if Domini and Anton are okay with it, maybe sometime soon we could have the family over for a barbecue.”
“Just as long as you’re not cookin’,” Anton said.
“Amen to that,” Keely said and low fived him.
Domini helped him to his feet. They inched their way to his truck, Anton on one side, Domini on the other. The pain made him dizzy. Domini held him up, she held him up in so many ways. His wife. His sweet, strong, perfect miracle.
No man—cowboy or otherwise—had ever had it so good.
Epilogue
One year later…
“Watch me.”
“Hang on,” Cam yelled over his shoulder. He flipped the burgers and shut the lid on the grill, praying they wouldn’t catch fire the second he turned his back. Although he’d drastically improved his cooking skills, they all preferred Domini’s food to his. But the woman deserved a night off now and then, so he’d bucked up and learned the basics.
“Dad! Seriously, look at this!” Anton shouted.
Cam felt that catch in his heart and in his gut. His eyes got a little damp whenever Anton called him Dad. He’d get used to it eventually—the word was still new even if Cam’s paternal feelings for the boy weren’t.
The change from Cam to Dad happened gradually, not in some sappy Hallmark moment. At the school’s fall open house, Anton had introduced them to his new teacher as his mom and dad. Poor overwhelmed Domini had hidden her face against Cam’s chest and cried. Cam managed to man up—barely—he’d been pretty bowled over himself.
There were times in the last year they’d all struggled to become a real family, not just on paper, but in their hearts and everyday lives. When Anton had taken that last step on his own, Cam knew the struggle had been worth it. They truly were a family now—by choice, not by circumstance.
“Dad!”
He leaned over the deck rail. “Okay, son, I’m watchin’.”
Anton’s black cowboy hat was almost as big as he was. He adjusted the rope, started twirling it above his head, and let fly. It landed in a perfect loop on the practice horns on the sawhorse. Then he quickly cinched the rope tight and let out a whoop. Gracie barked happily at his bootheels.
“Lookin’ good. You’re gonna give Ky a run for his money at the junior rodeo tomorrow.”
Anton beamed…and returned to practicing. The kid was obsessed.
“You know he’s going to be a total cowboy,” Domini said, behind him.
“Hard not to be one, growin’ up in Wyoming.”
“It’s not Wyoming that’s his influence, silly man, it’s you.”
“Me?” Cam cocked his head at her. “Princess, I’ll remind you I’m not a cowboy.”
“I disagree. You might not be wearing chaps, riding a horse, roping steers and showing off all those external cues.” Domini moved into his arms and placed her hand over his chest, over his heart. “But inside? Where it really counts? You’re all cowboy, Cameron McKay.”
“Dom—”
She briefly laid a finger over his lips. “You’ve always done the right thing, whether you were a ranch kid, or a soldier, or a cop, or a member of the notorious McKay clan, or now as a husband and a father. That’s who you are, that’s who I fell in love with.” She stood on her tiptoes and kissed him lightly on the lips. “A true cowboy.”
This woman had quite a bit of cowboy in her too. He curled his hands around her face and rested his forehead to hers. “I love you so damn much.”
The moment was sweet… And short-lived when Anton sicced Gracie on them.
Domini laughed and shooed the dog away. “Before I forget, you’re supposed to call Remy back.”
“He say why? Is there a problem?”
“Everything is on schedule, worrywart, he just wanted to go over a few things about taking care of Gracie before we leave on Monday.”
Cam glanced at the markers surrounding the new concrete slab, as well as the skeletal walls and ceiling trusses. His cousins were adding on a new section to the house that’d double the size of their current living space.
Which made sense, since he and Domini were about to double the size of their family. His stomach fluttered when he considered the next step in their lives together. Adoption. Anton would officially become a McKay the same time as his new siblings. It’d all happened so fast. Normally adoption took forever, so they were surprised when everything fell into place in record time. They’d taken it as a good sign.
“So, are we all set for the trip?”
“Yes. We’re meeting them Thursday. If all the paperwork is at the orphanage and the embassy, which Ginger assures me it is, then we should have them out of Romania and be back in Wyoming within two weeks.”
Cam smoothed her hair behind her ear. “You nervous?”
“Yes. You?”
“Terrified.”
“It’s not too late to back out.”
“Domini, I don’t want to back out. I already think of them as ours. I have since the first time we saw their pictures.”
“Me too.”
“Plus, Anton is looking forward to bein’ a big brother. And it kills Ky that his cousin is getting a brother and a sister all in one shot.” Fourteen-month-old twins. Yeah, he and Domini would be hitting up everyone in his family for parenting advice.
“How do you think Anton will do on diaper duty?”
“Horrible. Just like me. But just like everything else we’ve done in this family, we’ll learn together.”
About the Author
To learn more about Lorelei James, please visit www.loreleijames.com. Send an email to [email protected] or join her Yahoo! group to join in the fun with other readers as well as Lorelei: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/LoreleiJamesGang
Look for these titles by Lorelei James
Now Available:
Rough Ride
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Long Hard Ride
Rode Hard, Put Up Wet
Cowgirl Up and Ride
Tied Up, Tied Down
Rough, Raw, and Ready
Branded As Trouble
Wild West Boys
Miss Firecracker
Mistress Christmas
Strong, Silent Type: Wild Ride Anthology
Wicked Garden: Three’s Company Anthology
Running With the Devil
Dirty Deeds
Babe in the Woods: Beginnings Anthology
Coming Soon:
Rough Riders
All Jacked Up
The world is waiting for her…and he’s waited long enough.
Wanderlust
© 2009 KyAnn Waters
Meg Snow is having hot and wild sex with Cory Traven…in her dreams.
Four years ago he had his chance for a relationship with her. Instead, he joined the military, leaving her to endure Milcott, South Dakota on her own. Now it’s her turn for adventure and a chance to banish those erotic Cory fantasies once and for all—on a singles cruise to Jamaica.
Cory has come home for what he’d denied himself four years before. Meg. But she’s made it clear she wants anyone except him. There’s only one way to show her that what she wants and what she needs are two different things. How? Storm the beaches of Jamaica. Infiltrate his way into her bed. Breach the walls of her heart.
And show her that paradise is not in the Caribbean, but in his arms.
Enjoy the following excerpt for Wanderlust:
Cory sat on the couch, in the dark. After their conversation on the sidewalk, Meg had practically run into her side of the duplex. She didn’t want to hear any opinion that differed from hers.
He leaned back and closed his eyes. Images of Meg drifted through his mind. She’d responded when he’d kissed her. Had they been alone rather than the middle of a family barbecue, he felt certain the kiss would have led to more. Could he sleep with her and then let her go if she still chose to leave Milcott?
After unbuttoning his shirt, he shrugged it off. Toe to heel, he slipped off his shoes. He thought about stretching out on the couch and watching the television, but he’d be dragging ass tomorrow if he didn’t get some sleep.
Shoulda Been A Cowboy: Rough Riders, Book 7 Page 29
