by Rye Hart
“I know you have to leave.”
“I don’t want Lily waking up and walking in on us. Might be confusing to her.”
“Oh, I know. Doesn’t change the fact that I wish you could stay.”
He turned me over onto my back and covered my body with his. I ran my hands over the divots of his muscles, taking in their sculpted form. He was a strong man, thick with strength and dripping with passion. I could feel my body rising to the occasion again simply by taking him in this way with his muscles shining with sweat and his breath pulsing against my lips.
It was all too much, and I lifted my face to taste him again.
“If you do that again, I won’t be able to leave,” Graham said.
“Then don’t leave,” I said.
“I have to.”
“I’ll set an earlier alarm.”
“I can’t,” he said.
He rolled off to the side and slid off my bed. I watched his naked body open my bedroom door before he left for my living room. I heard him picking up clothes and gathered up glasses. I could see him pulling on his shirt before he buttoned his pants and zipped them up.
He walked back into the room and sat on the edge of my bed, his fingers smoothing my hair away from my face.
“Sleep well, all right?”
“I will,” I said. “As long as you do.”
“I always sleep well after being with you,” he said.
He dipped his lips to mine and kissed me one last time before he walked away. I heard his footsteps falling against the tiles of the kitchen, and then my front door opened. I closed my eyes as I heard it shut, creating a barrier I didn’t want between him and me.
He was gone, and I was alone.
And I wished it didn’t have to be that way.
CHAPTER 26
GRAHAM
I dipped my head underneath the hood of a car and tried to work out my aggression. I couldn’t get my night with Cindy out of my fucking head. I knew I was developing feelings for her. Strong ones. I hadn’t commanded a woman like that since Cary. And the way Cindy moaned for me, begging me for more of it. The animal inside of me had snapped. There was something about holding her close. Marking her as mine. Tossing her around and caressing every inch of her that made me feel closer to her. My heart was fluttering just thinking about it, but I kept flinching at every sound I heard.
My paranoia was getting bad, and I knew it was because I was scared. I couldn’t stay away from Cindy, but I had no idea how to protect her from the men chasing me down and my prior agency trying to find me. I had unanswered questions that meant the difference between life and death for her and her daughter, and I was no closer to figuring them out.
I was petrified of losing them the way I had Cary and Kason.
I thought back to one of our conversations as I took apart the engine of a truck. The thing was oily and rusted and not worth its weight in fucking salt, but Kevin was paying me a hell of a lot of money to fix the damn thing. I wanted Cindy and Lily to be okay. I didn’t know how else to protect them other than to leave them behind. I could uproot and find another city and take the heat with me.
But I didn’t want Cindy thinking I didn’t care about her.
She was precious, a headstrong woman with a daughter to provide for. And I couldn't get that conversation of ours out of my head. She’d mentioned a bed and breakfast and talked about how her dreams had fallen to the side after her husband died. While I understood why that happened, it didn’t have to be that way.
I could give her that dream before I left so she had some proof of how I really felt about her.
I could turn the house I was in now into a bed and breakfast. I was renting it, but the owners of the house were expressing an interest in selling. It needed some work, and they weren’t willing to update it, and they kept trying to talk me into a rent-to-own type of scenario.
If I could work hard enough to pay for the house outright, I could gift it to Cindy so she could follow her dream.
She would be taken care of, she would be far away from me, and she and Lily could live happily ever after.
“Graham?”
“What?”
I rose up and knocked my head against the hood of the car.
“You have a fancy visitor,” Kevin said.
“The fuck are you talking about?” I asked.
Kevin pointed to someone standing off to my side. I panned my gaze over to Paul as I stood to match his height.
“What do you want?” I asked.
“We need to talk somewhere private,” he said.
“I’m not going anywhere with you until you tell me what’s going on,” I said.
Paul was not dressed in a police uniform. He was in a three-piece suit with a gun on his hip and mace at his side. I watched him withdraw a badge, and when he flashed it at me, I felt my heart drop to my toes.
He had a fucking CIA badge.
“Where would you like to talk?” Paul asked.
“Back room’s fine,” I said. “Kevin, I’ll be right back.”
“You need anything?” Kevin asked.
“Possibly an alibi, depending on what this is about,” I said, trying to keep it light so as not to alert my boss.
I ushered Paul into the back room before I closed the door behind me. I knew he had a gun on his hip, but I guaranteed I was faster than him. My eyes fell on his face, and he puffed out his chest like he was some fucking hotshot behind that badge of his.
I remembered those days of feeling powerful because of some shined up piece of metal.
“I take it you’re not really a police officer,” I said.
“Not since my military days,” Paul said.
“So what’s real and what’s not?” I asked.
“You don’t even understand the half of it, Anderson. That’s your real name: Anderson. Not Tucker like you’ve been telling everyone.”
“Then make me understand,” I said, ignoring his comments about my name.
“When Cindy’s husband died, it tanked all of us. Me. Her. His parents. Her parents. My parents. Everyone. He was a beloved man, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to continue in the military without him at my side.”
“And?” I asked, urging him to get on with it.
“When I left the military, I was contacted by Robert Buckley.”
“You were contacted,” I said.
“Yes. Name sound familiar?”
“Yeah. He was my fucking boss,” I said.
“I was like you. Strong. Independent. At the time of my recruitment, I had no ties to family. I was expendable, so I was the first to be volunteered for secret missions. After being trained, of course.”
“And how exactly did you end up in the same town you grew up in? Close to Cindy and Lily. The Agency stations you wherever they want you,” I said.
“I made it clear that if they wanted me, I needed to be close to the people I’d sworn to protect. With my military service, they granted me that wish.”
“How cozy,” I said. “What does this have to do with me?”
“You were told to stop investigating the mob after the mission went south, Anderson. And you didn’t.”
“No. I didn’t because they were guilty as fuck.”
“You were reckless. You went against orders.”
“Not gonna lie, this sounds like a debrief,” I said.
“And you think I’m going to let you get that reckless with Cindy and Lily? After I promised my best friend that I would look after them? You got reckless and careless and all high-and-mighty, and it cost you your family, Graham.”
I felt my eyes widen as I took a step back.
“What?” I asked.
“They told you to back down because the CIA struck a deal, Anderson, a deal to work with the Fresco crime family to take down some others. Every time we fucking turned around, you were blowing covers and getting agents killed,” Paul said.
“You’re lying.”
“No, I’m not,” he said. “And you know I’m no
t.”
“Why the hell would the CIA work with the mob, you idiot?”
“I just told you why. The Frescos were small fish in a very big pond. The Agency saw a way to use them to take out some much bigger fish. We teamed up with them to make sure no one worse than them ever rose to any kind of power and challenged our authorities elsewhere in the world. Don’t you get it? You blew the mission. You almost cost them the only power play they had. All because you thought you were doing the right thing.”
“So that’s why my family was killed? Because they thought they could shut me up by killing my wife and child?”
“You brought this on yourself,” he said. “Repeated warnings from your own damn boss didn’t deter you, so they did the only thing they could.”
“They killed an innocent woman and my child!”
“To save hundreds of thousands. Possibly millions. It was a numbers game, Anderson.”
“It was my family!”
I felt my blood boiling. I wanted to wrap my hands around this motherfucker’s throat and strangle him until his eyes popped out. The CIA had killed my family. They were working with this mob. They had gunned down my beautiful bride and my innocent son in the middle of our fucking home.
It was getting harder to breathe.
“How long?” I asked.
“How long what?” Paul asked
“How long has the CIA been working with those assholes?”
“Going on three years now. Once you went on the run, we were able to get a handle on things, controlling the influx of drugs and illegal arms into that section of the country. We’re working on establishing connections in other areas of the country so we can continue doing what we know is best.”
“What? Murdering innocent women and children? Did you have a hand in that? I swear to fuck, if you had anything to do with killing my family—”
“I’m not in a position to get my hands dirty like that anymore, but I am in a position to protect Cindy and Lily. They’re following you, tracking you like the dirty dog you are. They will find you and we will do nothing to stop them. Then I can go on about my business of protecting the two people who mean the most to me in this world.”
“I would never let them get hurt,” I said.
“What? Because you care? Your concern equals a death sentence for them,” he spat. “Leave them alone before they get hurt. Before Lily gets hurt. Before another woman and child die because of your recklessness.”
Paul went to move past me, and I reached out to grab his arm. I gripped him tightly, rendering him immobile as he flicked his suit coat back. Handcuffs were shining on his belt as his eyes hooked onto my face.
“I’m giving you a chance to run, and I suggest you take it,” he said.
I opened the door and went straight for my truck. I didn’t stop when Kevin called my name, and I didn’t try to make an excuse. I had to call Daniel. I had to tell him what I knew.
I had to figure out what the fuck to do.
“Slow down. Slow down. You’re talking too quickly.”
“They sanctioned the goddamn hit on my family because I was fucking up their relationship with the fucking mob. I was just trying to do the job they trained me to do and they killed my fucking family to send a message.”
“How do you know this?” Daniel asked.
“This cop friend of Cindy’s. Although he’s not really a cop apparently. Came to my work and flashed an Agency badge. He told me why they killed Cary and Kason. Said it was my fault and I brought it on them.”
“Okay, look. I’m still trying to take in what you’ve told me, but if this guy cornered you at work and he knows about your past, then he’s obviously got connections of some sort. The first thing you need to do is make sure Cindy and Lily are okay.”
“Are you still in town?” I asked.
“Yep. Been spending some time with Nicole. I’ll get to you as soon as I can.”
“Thanks.”
I tore through the streets of Bend trying to get to Cindy’s house. Holy fuck, if something had happened to her, I would never forgive myself. But my stomach dropped to my toes when I saw Paul’s shiny new vehicle in her driveway.
Shit.
How the hell had that fucker beaten me here?
I skidded my truck into the driveway and ran across the lawn. I banged on her door, yelling for Cindy to get her to open it. The door whipped open, and her cheeks were red. Her eyes were puffy, and her stance was guarded.
And behind her stood Paul.
With that shit-eating grin on his cheeks.
“Get away from me,” Cindy said.
“Look, you have to talk to me. There’s so much I just found out,” I said.
“I don’t want to talk to you any longer. I-I can’t—fuck. I brought you around my daughter.”
“Cindy, whatever Paul’s told you, it isn’t true. I don’t know what’s going on, but I can explain it. I know I can.”
“No, you can't. And even if you could, I don’t want to hear it. Get off my porch and get out of my life.”
Then she shut the door in my face and left me standing there with a hole in my chest.
I didn’t know what that asshole’s game was, but I was going to figure it out. Paul must’ve told her something, lied to her about who I was. There was nothing that Paul had told me today that would’ve angered Cindy like that. Frightened her, sure. Worried her? Yes. But made her so angry, she wanted me gone?
Not by a longshot.
“Did you check on her?” Daniel asked.
“Paul was here. He must’ve said something to her. She doesn't want to talk to me, Daniel.”
“Was she okay?” he asked.
“Yes. She’s fine. Paul was fucking here. How did that asshole beat me?”
I walked into my house with my cell phone attached to my ear. I slammed the front door behind me and resisted the urge to put my foot through the wall.
“We’re going to fix this. I’m going to figure this out. But this Paul guy, whoever he is? He’s a shady fucker. I’ve heard nothing about him from any of my contacts. Keep a close eye on them from a distance, and if you can follow this Paul guy around? Do it.”
“Why? What have you already found?” I asked.
“I’m not sure. It’s a bit jumbled and emotions are running high. Cindy just called Nicole, and she left in a hurry, so whatever’s going on needs to be squashed soon.”
“I wanna know what that fucker told her. I want to know why she’s scared of me now.”
“I can place one phone call and have that answer for you, but it means you gotta let me go.”
“Fine. Okay.”
Then I hung up the phone, sat on the edge of my couch, and waited.
CHAPTER 27
CINDY
“I’m sorry I hid this from you, Cindy.”
“The CIA, Paul? Really?” Nicole asked.
“I deal with a lot of shady figures every single day. I wasn’t going to put Cindy and Lily in the line of fire like that asshole,” Paul said.
“Really? Because you being here puts her in the line of fire,” Nicole said.
“He’s dangerous, Nicole. At least I play for the right side. I dug into that man, and the things I found were rough,” Paul said.
“I still don’t believe you,” I said.
“Then why did you send him away if you think I’m lying?” Paul asked.
“Because what you’re accusing him of is serious. You’re trying to convince me that some super shady criminal group Graham was trying to infiltrate flipped him to their side. You’d have me believe that a good, strong family man went from a decent CIA agent and was made into a drug and arms trafficker,” I said.
“I know it’s a lot to take in, Cindy, but I couldn’t keep this from you any longer,” Paul said.
“Why keep it from her at all if you knew the kind of man he was?” Nicole asked.
“I’ve told him on several occasions to back off. I wanted to do it quietly, so Cindy wouldn’t g
et so upset. This is serious stuff, things she should never have to think about at night,” Paul said.
“Cindy’s a big girl. She can handle some talk about guns and drugs,” Nicole said.
“Would you two stop?” I asked.
I sighed as a layer of quiet fell over my kitchen.
“What you’re telling me doesn’t jive with what I’ve experienced with Graham. He’s sweet and kind and a family man. Men like that don’t sell drugs. They don’t deal in illegal guns or whatever,” I said.
“Did you think I would ever join the CIA?” Paul asked.
“That’s different,” I said.
“He’s got a point,” Nicole said.
“Was there ever a point during your return at all where you ever questioned that I was something other than a police officer?” Paul asked.
“Well, no. But you put up a good front,” I said.
“And so does he,” Paul said. “Graham was an expert. He went for months without being found out, and when the CIA figured out what he was doing, they went after him. He got spooked, tried to leave, and the devil he made a deal with retaliated.”
“Don’t you dare talk about his family like that,” I said.
“Whether you want to hear it or not, it’s the truth,” Paul said. “I’m on the side of the law that protects people like you. But he’s not. He was at one point, but he got greedy. Selfish. Money can wrap its claws around any man’s neck, no matter how good they might have been in the first place,” Paul said.
“I know Graham. He would never do something like that,” I said.
“Cindy—”
“This is all too much. I can’t … I can’t deal with this right now. I need to breathe, and I can’t breathe with you here,” I said.
“Nicole, you can go, I’ve got her now,” Paul said.
“No, she stays. You go,” I said.
“Cindy, come on,” Paul said.
“For once, would you listen?” I asked.
Paul packed up his things and left, and I promptly went to bed. I didn’t want to talk to anyone about any of this. I knew Paul was lying to me. I felt it in my gut. I knew Graham, the real Graham. The hurt and despondent Graham. The man who craved the body of a woman and the man who was broken from the death of his family. I had no idea what the hell the truth was, but it wasn’t that nonsense Paul was spouting.
