by Rye Hart
I watched her disappear through the front door with an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach. Mrs. Johnston was kind and generous, but she was already too comfortable around us. Since Telissa’s death I’d kept everyone at arm’s length, and I liked it that way. If no one got too close, then no one could hurt me or my kids again. It wasn’t a realistic plan, but it was one that had worked for me so far.
The kids finished their brownies and then immediately started fighting over which movie to watch. I groaned and ran my hand over my face. Whatever I felt about Mrs. Johnston didn’t matter. I needed help before I lost my ever-loving shit on my kids. That was the last thing I wanted. I’d managed to keep myself together so far. I wasn’t going to screw it up now.
Before I could change my mind, I picked up the phone. I dialed Emily’s number and put the phone to my ear. It rang three times before she picked up.
“Hello?” she said, her voice older than I expected.
“Hi,” I said. “My name is Sean Evans, and I’m new in town. My neighbor, Mrs. Johnston, thought you might be able to help me out with child care?”
“Oh!” she said. “What exactly do you need?”
“A nanny,” I said quickly. “At least for the summer.”
“How many kids?” she asked, her voice falling into a professional rhythm.
“Two,” I said. “My son is seven and my daughter is five.”
“I see,” she said. “When are you looking for someone to start?”
“Yesterday,” I said seriously.
She laughed, and my stomach clenched. Her laugh, along with her voice, sounded nice. When Mrs. Johnston said she knew “a girl,” I thought she meant a teenager, maybe someone in college. Emily sounded like an adult. I was immediately uneasy.
“Well I’ll have some more questions, if that’s all right.” she asked. “I can bring in my résumé and references. I have a degree in child development from—”
“That sounds great,” I said quickly. “I’m sure you’re more than qualified.”
“Wonderful,” she said, and I could hear the smile in her voice. “What’s your address?”
I gave her the address, and she promised to be over by eight the next morning. I thanked her and we hung up. My heart beat slightly faster than normal. Her voice had been sure and sexy.
I shook my head and forced the thoughts away. Even if she was hot, she was going to be my kids’ nanny. Nothing could happen between us, I wouldn’t allow it. The rest of the day dragged on endlessly. I fed the kids dinner and put them in front of a movie, which they bickered their way through. By the time bedtime rolled around, I was more than ready to be alone for a few hours.
I tucked Tommy in, then went across the hall to do the same for Sarah, but she wasn’t in bed. With a frown, I searched the house for her. Just when I was beginning to worry, I found her asleep in my bed. She was clutching the picture of Telissa I kept on my nightstand.
I sighed and made my way over to her. The last thing I wanted to do was disturb her sleep, but I couldn’t let her get in the habit of sleeping in my bed. When she was a toddler, she would only sleep sandwiched between Telissa and me. When Telissa was in the hospital, it was impossible to get Sarah down without hours of tears. I didn’t want to start that process all over again.
Carefully, I lifted her out of the bed and carried her to her room. She was still holding tight to the picture of her mom. My heart felt heavy at the sight of her precious little fingers holding the photo. I thought about pulling it from her grasp, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. She needed it more than I did.
I kissed her forehead and then tiptoed out of the room, grateful to finally be alone in a quiet house. As I made my way downstairs, my mind turned once again to thoughts of Emily. Her voice was so enticing. I could have sat on the phone with her for hours, just listening to the rise and fall of her words. As I remembered our conversation, I felt that same tug in my stomach from before, and I quickly pushed it away.
Sinking down on the couch, I sighed and shook my head. There was no use daydreaming about Emily or her voice. No matter how sexy she sounded or even how sexy she might look, I couldn’t date again. I had thought that Telissa was the love of my life, but then she broke my heart and left us. All of it fucked me up on so many levels.
After everything I’d been through, I didn’t have it in me to let someone else in. I wasn’t sure I ever would or could.
My back slowly relaxed into the couch, and my eyes began to droop. I thought about dragging myself upstairs, but I was too comfortable to move. My mind was still racing as I flashed between what I imagined Emily to look like and my memoires of Telissa. Just picturing my wife’s face was enough to make me forget about Emily completely. Emily’s voice had piqued my interest, but one thing would always be true: she wasn’t Telissa.
I finally fell asleep, with thoughts of my wife floating through my mind. I didn’t know if I would ever move on or let go of her memory, but I did know that dating just wasn’t in the cards. Not for me. Not yet. Not for a very long time.
CHAPTER FOUR - EMILY
Tuesday morning arrived, and I found myself parked outside the Evans’s house. Given my current financial situation, I was relieved in the prospect of locating a stable job that involved children. I was also a little shocked that the very man Janie and I were joking about called me to offer me a job in his home. In any other part of the country, it would be a farfetched scenario, but in my tiny town, it was actually plausible.
The house was a beautiful, large colonial. It was evident that whoever this man was, he had good taste and was loaded. I still had ten minutes before Sean was expecting me, so I waited in my car for the time to pass.
The garage door opened so hard it slammed against the house’s exterior. The sound of it made me jump, leaving me to feel a little foolish. I was just glad no one else had seen my reaction.
An incredibly handsome guy with thick shoulders and a well-trimmed beard emerged from the doorway with trash bags gripped in both fists. The garbage must have been heavy because I could see his muscles flexing beneath his thin white T-shirt. He threw the bags easily into the garbage bins.
He must have been finishing up some last-minute tidying up around the house before my arrival. He pulled his arms behind him like he was stretching his back, and it had the pleasant effect of making his shirt cling to him like a second skin. His broad, masculine chest lit a warmth inside me.
Fuck. How long had it been since I’d been close to a hot guy? Shit, any guy for that matter? I sure as hell hadn’t ever been with a guy that hot, or ripped. Only in my dreams.
My eyes followed the hard lines of his torso down to where the hem of his shirt had risen above his stomach. His jeans hung low on his hips, exposing the V-shaped muscles of his abdomen.
My mouth watered at the sight of him and I couldn’t help but wonder how he looked with the jeans thrown in the corner and his undies pooled on the floor beneath him.
Get ahold of yourself, Emily.
I giggled to myself at my train of thought. Clearly, I needed a boyfriend if the mere sight of a good-looking guy got me all hot and bothered.
The man turned his face in my direction. “Hello?” he called out.
Oh God.
I hoped he hadn’t noticed me eye-banging him from my car like some pervert.
He walked toward me.
“You must be Sean,” I said when he arrived to my car door.
“Right,” he said gruffly. “Emily?”
“Yes.” I nodded but my voice faltered slightly. Janie’s description of him didn’t do him justice. Sean was incredibly handsome. His dark hair was cut casually, and his eyes were a deep, probing blue. He had an air of confidence about him that I found both incredibly sexy and also a little intimidating. I didn’t quite know how to behave around someone who came from a big city, they always seemed more worldly than anyone from this tiny town.
“You brought your resume I assume?”
“Y
es, I have it right here.” I took the sheet of paper out of the folder in my purse and handed it to him. “I typically find that the best way for you see if I’d be a good fit for your family, is just to jump in and show you what my routine with the kids would be,” I said.
He flicked his eyes briefly to my face before returning them to my resume. Jesus, this guy was a tough sell.
As he read of the paper, I sat in my car awkwardly and I couldn’t help but feel like he regarded me with some suspicion, or was I imagining it? His voice had been near desperate on the phone yesterday, but now that I stood in front of him, his tone and demeanor suggested arrogance and borderline annoyance even.
“Come in,” Sean said shortly.
I smiled and exited my car, then followed him inside, my eyes roaming over his body. He was tall, much taller than me. It was obvious he took care of himself. As I looked at him, my cheeks flushed. I shook my head and tried to pull myself together. Marveling at the sexiness of my potential boss was not the best way to start my new job. His attitude was probably for the best. It would keep me focused on what I was there for, which was the kids.
“How’s your morning going so far?” I asked, keeping my voice light and casual.
Sean shrugged. “Fine. The kids only just woke up.”
Sure enough, when we walked into the living room, I saw the kids sitting at the kitchen table. They were both still in pajamas. When they turned to look at me, there was trepidation in their eyes that I wasn’t used to. Most kids either looked overjoyed to meet the new caretaker, or they had a troublemaking glint in their eyes. These kids possessed neither. Instead, they simply eyed me closely, waiting for me to speak.
“Tommy,” Sean said. “Sarah. This is Emily.”
I smiled and walked over to sit down with them at the table. I’d found that it was easiest to just make myself comfortable. If I dawdled around awkwardly, the kids became more nervous.
“It’s so nice to meet you guys,” I said brightly.
“You too,” Tommy said politely. His cheeks were red, and his eyes darted between the table and my face.
“So,” I said. “Anyone hungry? How about some breakfast?”
“You can cook?” Tommy asked, surprised.
“I can,” I said proudly. “In fact, don’t tell anyone this, okay?”
“Okay.” Tommy nodded eagerly.
“I make the best french toast in Telluride,” I said, keeping my voice low and conspiratorial.
“You do?” Tommy asked, his eyes wide.
“Why’s that a secret?” Sarah asked sharply.
I looked at her with a smile, happy that she was finally speaking.
“Because,” I said. “If anyone else found out, they would break down my door every morning just to get some. I can’t have that, can I?”
“I bet they aren’t that good,” Sarah said.
“Sarah,” Sean said, a warning in his voice.
I glanced at him with a soft smile, silently telling him I could handle it.
“Well, I guess I’ll just have to prove it to you, won’t I?” I asked her.
Sarah eyed me for a few seconds. I looked back at her impassively. She was clearly in the challenging phase of childhood that I knew so well. As I watched her, her eyes narrowed, and she folded her arms across her chest.
“Are you going to be our new mommy?” she asked boldly.
Of all the things I expected her to say, this never even crossed my mind. I cleared my throat and shook my head.
“No,” I said kindly. “Of course not. I’m just here to help your daddy out. I’ll be your nanny.”
“What’s a nanny?” Tommy asked.
“It’s kind of like a babysitter,” I said. “Only I’m around more often.”
“Oh.” Tommy nodded, but I turned my attention back to Sarah.
“Is that okay with you, Sarah?” I asked.
Normally, I didn’t give kids this option. Most of them attacked the second they smelled fear, but with Sarah, I knew something was different. She wasn’t challenging me just because she could. She was challenging me because she needed to; because she needed to see me as an ally. It was obvious she missed her mother.
“That’s fine,” she said, her voice lighter now.
“Good.” I smiled and stood up. “I’ll get that french toast going. Sean, would you like some?”
“Gotta eat,” Sean said on a grunt.
When our eyes met, I smiled again and bounced into the kitchen. I couldn’t look at Sean for too long, or I lost myself in his blue eyes and naturally muscular body. They almost made up for his asshole demeanor. As I got breakfast ready, I observed Sean and his kids.
Tommy was obviously shy, and Sarah was bold and rude for her age, but I was sure that was just a defense mechanism. From what I could tell of Sean, he was much more like Sarah than Tommy. He wasn’t shy, but he also wasn’t talkative. He had a distant air about him that made me nervous and curious at the same time.
After I finished cooking, I laid the food down on the table and helped the kids get their plates ready. I cut Sarah’s toast and poured Tommy’s syrup. When they each took their first bites, their faces lit up with joy, and they quickly devoured the rest.
“More?” I asked. They both nodded, and I put another slice on each of their plates. “I’m glad you like it.”
“This is awesome!” Tommy said. “Dad can’t cook at all.”
“I’m sure that’s not true,” I said kindly.
“It is,” Sarah said around a mouthful of french toast.
I laughed and looked at Sean. He was eating his breakfast in silence, watching the kids interact with me. I got the impression he was sizing me up, observing me to see whether he wanted to keep me on. It made sense, but still, I felt my skin burn whenever his eyes found mine. He was by far the most attractive man I’d ever met.
“All righty,” I said after we were all done eating. “Can you guys go get dressed please?”
Tommy and Sarah jumped out of their chairs and ran upstairs. I smiled as I listened to their footsteps.
“You’re good with them,” Sean said simply. His voice was flat, emotionless.
“Thank you,” I said. “They seem like great kids.”
“They fight a lot,” Sean said.
“That’s okay.” I shrugged. “I grew up with three older brothers. I can handle fighting.”
I piled all the plates together and carried them to the kitchen. While I washed them, Sean continued to sit at the table. He was sipping his coffee, but his eyes flickered over to me every so often. I wanted to say something, anything, to draw him into a conversation, but I wasn’t sure where to start.
When the kids reappeared, I quickly finished the dishes and ushered them back upstairs. Tommy gave me a quick tour of both their rooms, and I saw that there was still some unpacking to do.
“Can we go to the park?” Sarah asked eagerly. “It’s just down the street, but we’ve only been once since we moved here.”
“I think we can do that,” I said with a nod. “But first, let’s get these boxes unpacked. Then we’ll go.”
I expected an argument, but Sarah just nodded and moved immediately toward the first box. I smiled and opened it up. Sarah, Tommy, and I spent the morning unpacking boxes and organizing their rooms. When that was done, we had a quick lunch, and then, after getting Sean’s approval, we walked down the street to the park. They played hard for an hour before they were both winded and exhausted. Laughing, we made our way back to the house and spent the afternoon unpacking some things downstairs.
I didn’t see Sean much. He ate lunch with us and asked the kids what they thought of the park, but he didn’t speak to me often. He spent most of the day holed up in his study. I wondered what he was doing in there, but I didn’t ask the kids. Instead, we unpacked every box we could find, organized a few rooms, and then sat down to play a game together.
“Do you think your dad wants to play?” I asked as we set up the board.
&nb
sp; “I’ll go ask!” Tommy said, running toward Sean’s office.
Two minutes later, Sean and Tommy walked into the living room. Sean looked down at Sarah with a smile. It was the first smile I’d seen cross his face all day and damn if it didn’t make him even more attractive.
“I’m going to grab some chinese food for dinner,” he said. “I suppose you can stay.”
When he looked at me, the smile vanished, and though it hadn’t really been a proper invitation, I decided to take it.
“That sounds great,” I said. “Thanks.”
“I’ll be back.”
With that, Sean left me with the kids and drove into town to get the food. Tommy, Sarah, and I spent twenty minutes playing our game before Sean made it back home. We all sat down around the kitchen table, and again, I helped the kids get their plates settled. Sarah needed help cutting her chicken and Tommy was excited to learn how to use chopsticks.
I placed the sticks in Tommy’s hand and showed him how to pinch them together. After a few failed attempts and a lot of giggles, he finally managed to take a successful bite.
“I did it!”
His joy was infectious, and soon, we were all laughing. Even Sarah cheered for her brother’s success. Throughout the day, I’d noticed what Sean mentioned about their fighting, but it never grew out of control. With a few words of warning and a bit of a distraction, their bickering always subsided quickly.
We ate dinner and everyone seemed happy. Even Sean was smiling and laughing at times along with us. For the first time all day, I felt like he was okay with my presence.
“So,” I said as the kids finished eating. “What do you do for a living?”
The look of suspicion returned to his eyes before he answered. “I was a lawyer back in San Diego,” Sean said slowly. “But I left the firm when we moved here.”
“What do you do now?” I asked.
“Nothing yet.” He shrugged, unwilling to offer more.
I nodded.
“It’s good to take your time and go after what you’re really passionate about.”
