by Joy Redmond
Ali didn’t ask any more questions. Her instinct told her it wasn’t the time.
They went into Belk Saddle where Ali squealed with glee as she tried on five dresses. Then Grandma selected three petticoats with lace trimming, panties and socks.
Grandpa paid the bill and said, “We need to go on to the shoe store, then we probably should go to Red Front and buy a few groceries. She doesn’t look like she gets fed very much.”
Ali’s heart was beating so hard that it felt as if it was knocking on her ribcage as they entered the shoe store. Grandma let her try on a black-and-white pair of oxfords, the kind that Toots had and the kind that she had dreamed of owning someday. As Grandpa paid the bill, Ali saw him frown.
He handed Ali the bag and said, “I’m ready to go to Red Front if you and Grandma are ready.”
Grandma said she was ready, but they could only spend ten dollars on groceries. They walked to Red Front, which was only three blocks down the street. When they went inside, Ali pushed a cart and picked out her favorite foods. She also picked out several items that she knew Jane would like, too. When they hit the dollar amount Grandpa had agreed to, they headed for the checkout lane.
The cashier placed the groceries in three small bags. When a carryout boy started to place the bags in a cart, Grandpa said, “I think we can manage to carry these.”
He picked up one sack, Grandma picked up another, and Ali picked up the third one. “They expect a tip if they cart it out and load your car,” Grandpa explained.
As they walked toward the car, Grandpa looked at Grandma and said, “I guess it’s time to take Ali home and call it a day.”
“I suppose so,” Grandma replied.
Ali thought she saw sadness in Grandma’s eyes but her eyes always looked sad. Grandpa’s eyes had a hard look, as if he were doing things that irritated him. Ali thought her grandparents were kind of strange, but nice at the same time. It had been a wonderful day and Ali was excited to get home so she could show Jane her new wardrobe and share the food. She also wanted to share a can of tuna with Mr. Puss.
Grandpa pulled the car up to the curb. Grandma got out and started lifting bags out of the backseat, handing Ali three light ones. Grandpa just sat and stared out the windshield, as if he were in a different world. Side-by-side, Ali and Grandma walked up the sidewalk, where Grandma set the bags on the porch and gave Ali another hug.
Ali looked into Grandma’s sad eyes and asked, “Don’t you wanna come in and say hi to Jane?”
“No, child,” Grandma replied with a sigh. “We’ll be on our way now, but if Jane will allow it, we’d like to came by and pick you up every Saturday.”
“I’d like that,” Ali said, giving Grandma one more hug before the old woman turned and walked back toward the car.
Ali waved, but Grandpa and Grandma didn’t look back as they drove away. When the car had disappeared from sight, Jane opened the front door and said, “Here, let me help you with those bags.”
Jane seemed to be as excited as Ali, and Ali wondered why she had waited so long to open the door. They set the sacks on the bed in the front room. Then Ali took out each item of clothing and held it up for Jane to admire as Mr. Puss wrapped himself around Ali’s legs.
Jane shook her head slowly and said, “My gosh! Ali, you sure did get some beautiful clothes!”
Then Jane did something unexpected. Sitting on the edge of the bed, she buried her face in her hands and began to cry, her body shaking with sobs.
“What’s wrong, Jane?”
Jane looked up, then grabbed Ali and hugged her so hard that it felt as if she was going to break in two. Finally, she said, “Oh, Ali, I’m just happy that you don’t have to start school dressed the way they used to make me dress. I was so embarrassed that I wanted to die. All the kids laughed and made fun of me when I was your age. I was shunned during my whole twelve years of school.”
“How did you have to dress when you were my age?”
Jane’s eyes hardened as she said, “Like a homemade freak! My clothes looked like the kind of clothes your grandma was wearing today. How would you like to be dressed like that on your first day of school?”
“I’d probably shoot myself,” Ali replied.
Jane burst out laughing and said, “Exactly! And at that time, I wanted to shoot Ma and Pa!”
“Is that why you hate them now?” Ali asked softly.
Jane’s reply was barely audible. “I really don’t hate them, Ali. I just hate the way they made me live. Deep down, I love them—and I miss them too—but I don’t reckon they miss me enough to put their stupid religious beliefs aside long enough to speak to me.”
“I bet if you’d come outside next time, they’d be happy to see you and—”
“No, Ali,” Jane interrupted. “They’d think it was a sin to look an evil woman in the face.”
“What’s an evil woman?”
“A woman who wears short dresses, paints her face, drinks, smokes—anything that’s fun is a sin to them—not to mention a woman having a baby out of wedlock.”
“Well, I don’t think having fun is a sin,” Ali said forcefully, “and I don’t think you’re sinful—except maybe when you get drunk. You get mean when you drink, and sometimes I feel like I hate you—but I really don’t. I just hate how you act.”
“I understand, honey,” Jane said, nodding slowly, “but I can’t seem to help myself—and you know what else? Sometimes I hate myself when I get to drinking or when men start pawing me when they wanna have some fun!”
Ali was still confused. Why did Jane drink so much and have men friends over who wanted to have fun if she hated it? She shook her head, picked up Mr. Puss and went outside to sit on the porch steps, her mind spinning as she tried to figure out things. Adults were strange.
As she stroked Mr. Puss, she was startled when she heard Toots yell as she ran across the front yard, “Hey, Ali, what’s that ya got there?”
Ali’s eyes brightened as she replied, “I got a kitten for my birthday. I brought him down to your house but you weren’t home.”
Toots sat beside Ali. “What’s its name? Can I hold it?”
“Sure,” Ali said. “His name is Mr. Puss. Jane stole him from old man Jones. He didn’t have a big enough house for all the new ones, so Jane said she did him and me a favor. Ain’t he beautiful?”
Toots stroked Mr. Puss and replied, “He sure is, and he likes me. He’s trying to nibble my earlobe.” Toots and Ali giggled. Then Toots added, “I came by this morning, but nobody answered the door when I knocked.”
Reaching out and taking Mr. Puss from Toots’ arms, Ali said, “That’s because my grandparents came by early this morning and took me to town and bought me school clothes and some black-and-white saddle oxfords, like the kind you’ve got.”
Toots gave Ali a strange look. “You don’t have any grandparents. You don’t even have a mama—”
Ali interrupted and began talking so fast she almost lost her breath. “Yes, I do. Jane is my real mama and she told her ma and pa about me and they came to see me and took me to town and me and Grandma ate a banana split and—”
Toots stood and placed her hand on her hips. “You’re lying! Did Jane knock you over the head too hard or something?”
Ali stood and pushed her face in close to Toots. “I’m not lying! You just come on in the house and I’ll show you my new stuff and Jane will-” Tears suddenly filled her eyes as she stopped in mid-sentence and whispered, “Never mind. Jane might be drunk and she’ll be mean if we go inside.”
Toots patted Ali’s arm. “I believe you, but it sure is a surprise.” Then she hugged Ali and said, “I’m glad you’ve got nice grandparents. I love my Grandma and Grandpa as much as I love my mama.” Now fighting back her own tears, she added, “I wish my daddy would come see me, but Mama said he has another woman and a bunch of other kids and don’t have time for me.”
Ali looked at her friend and said softly, “My daddy’s dead.”
They sa
t back down on the top step, where Ali began telling Toots about all that had happened since she had woke up the day before. Toots seemed to be shocked.
They sat in silence for a few minutes and then Ali smiled and said, “How come people call you Toots? Is it because you fart a lot?”
Toots began laughing and said, “I do fart a lot, but that’s not why I’m called Toots. My real name is Tallulah, but my little brother, Rick, couldn’t pronounce it, so he called me Toots, and my mama thought it was cute. So I’ve been called that since I was about four years old. You know, sometimes I even forget my real name. I don’t like it anyway, so I guess I’ll just go by Toots for the rest of my life.”
The girls stayed outside, talking, laughing, and playing with Mr. Puss until it started getting dark. Jane opened the front door and yelled, “Ali!” Seeing the girls, she said, “Oh, there you are. It’s time to come on in. Tell Toots goodbye. You two can visit again tomorrow.”
The girls hugged, Toots stroked Mr. Puss, and then she headed home. Ali went inside and found a nice supper waiting on the table. She opened a can of tuna and fed Mr. Puss. After eating, Ali helped Jane clean up the kitchen, and then she and Mr. Puss retired to their bedroom while Jane sat in the rocker and opened another pint.
Chapter Two
Ali was happier than she had ever been. Mr. Puss was her constant companion and Jane allowed Grandma and Grandpa to take her to town with them every Saturday. They always shopped at Red Front and Ali was allowed to pick out her favorite food.
One Saturday, Ali got another surprise. She was riding in the old station wagon between her grandparents when Grandma said, “Ali, did you know that Jane has a sister?”
Ali’s eyes widened as she answered, “No kidding sure enough?”
“Yes, she does. How would you like go see her? She said she wants to see you again.”
“When did she see me before?”
“The same day I saw you for the first time. She adored you and she’s missed not having you in her life,” Grandma said. Then she looked at Grandpa and said, “I guess you know where our next stop is.”
“I think I do,” Grandpa replied, turning the car in the opposite direction from the downtown area.
“Do I have any more aunts or uncles or cousins? I sure would like to meet them all,” Ali said excitedly.
“No. Grandpa and I only had two girls. Aunt July is an old maid, so you don’t have any other family except us,” Grandma said sounding a little sad.
Grandpa drove through a part of town Ali had never seen. Then they took a side road, drove a few miles, and pulled into the driveway of a nice brick house with a concrete porch.
Ali’s eyes widened as she asked, “Is this where Aunt July lives?”
Before Grandma could answer, Ali saw a large woman step out onto the porch and shield her eyes against the bright sun. As they got out of the car, the woman walked down the steps to meet them.
Before Grandma could make the introductions, the woman said, “You must be Ali. My, my, you sure have grown into a beautiful girl. Why, you were just a little scrap the last time I saw you. You looked like a little pink spider.”
Ali attempted to smile as she studied her aunt. She was too tall and fat, and as ugly as homemade soap—in sharp contrast to Jane. Jane was short and slim, and as pretty as a picture. How could they be sisters?
“Well, ya’ll come on in,” Aunt July said, patting Ali’s head. “I’ll fix us a glass of lemonade. Do you like lemonade, Ali?”
“Lemonade is fine,” Ali replied. “I like iced tea, too. I drank it once when I went to see Toots, my best friend.”
Grandpa said, “Tea and coffee are the devil’s spit. We don’t drink anything that has caffeine in it. The Bible tells us to avoid stimulants.”
Ali wondered what on earth Grandpa was talking about. He seemed to have some strange ideas. After all, Jane drank coffee every morning and if it was the devil’s spit, she didn’t think Jane would enjoy it so much.
Aunt July held the storm door open and they all walked inside. The house was so clean that it seemed to shine. The upholstered furniture had pretty print and all the pieces matched. There were beautiful pictures on every wall, and Ali saw a telephone.
“Wow,” Ali said. “You sure have a pretty house.”
Aunt July said, “Thank you. Would you like to see the rest of it?”
“I sure would,” Ali said, taking Aunt July’s outstretched hand.
They walked into a spacious kitchen filled with modern appliances, then through the living room and into a hallway. On each end of the hallway was a large bedroom, full of beautiful furniture and the prettiest bedspreads that Ali had ever seen. A bathroom was between the bedrooms.
Ali walked into the bathroom and exclaimed, “You’ve got a bathtub! Can you fill it with hot water to take a bath?”
Aunt July smiled and said, “Yes, and I take a nice warm bath every night. It’s so relaxing.”
Ali shook her head in amazement. “We don’t have hot water. Jane heats water on the gas stove, and then pours it into a wash pan. She tells me to wash down as far as possible, wash up as far as possible, then wash possible.”
Aunt July looked surprised as she said, “Land O’ Goshen! What a thing to tell a child!”
Ali eyed Aunt July, wondering what was wrong with what Jane always said. It made sense to her and she thought it was funny. Maybe Aunt July didn’t think anything was funny.
Aunt July then led Ali back into the living room, where Grandma and Grandpa were sitting on a pretty couch with sad looks on their faces. In fact, they always seemed to be wearing sad looks.
Aunt July said, “I cooked a meatloaf this morning if anybody wants a sandwich.” Grandma and Grandpa said they’d have a bite and Ali followed everyone into the kitchen.
After Aunt July had fixed Ali a sandwich and placed it on a plate with some celery sticks, Grandpa said the blessing.
Ali didn’t like the looks of the sandwich, but she took a bite, afraid that she might be scolded if she didn’t. To her amazement, it was good.
“This meatloaf is good stuff,” she said, taking another bite. “I ain’t ever had it before. Jane fixes baloney sandwiches.”
Aunt July looked at Ali and asked, “Honey, why do you call your mother, Jane?”
Ali’s instincts told her that it wouldn’t be a good idea to admit she hadn’t known that Jane was her mother until recently, so she said, “I’ve just always called her Jane.”
Then she quickly picked up her glass of lemonade and took a drink, hoping she wouldn’t have to answer any more questions.
Grandpa, Grandma, and Aunt July just shook their heads in silence.
After lunch, Ali wandered outside. Aunt July’s front yard had pretty green grass that had been mowed recently and it smelled wonderful. The yard also had lots of beautiful flowers: tulips, jonquils, roses, and peonies. As she looked in the garage, she saw a car inside.
“Aunt July has a garage and car?” Ali mumbled to herself. “She has everything. Even a telephone. I sure wish Jane could see all this.”
She walked around the backyard and pulled off her sandals to feel the soft grass between her toes. There were beds of flowers in the backyard, too, and a tree with beautiful white blossoms. She stood beneath the tree and admired the beauty around her, wishing there was grass, flowers, and trees where she and Jane lived.
The only flowers they had were the wild jonquils that sprang up in early spring. She and Mr. Puss would go into the backyard and Ali would gather jonquils, bunch them in her small hands, then she and Mr. Puss would sit on the ground and enjoy the beauty and smell. Sometimes she would bring the beautiful blooms in the house and put them in a glass of water. Jane seemed to enjoy them, too. Ali noticed that she would stick her nose to them and inhale deeply.
Ali then slipped her sandals back on and headed back toward the front yard. As she was walking up the front porch steps, she heard Aunt July say, “I’d give her a lot of money for Ali. If Jane wo
uld let me have that child, she wouldn’t have to eat baloney for the rest of her life.”
Ali was stunned by what she’d just heard. Aunt July wanted to buy her? She stood transfixed as she listened to the conversation between her grandparents and her aunt.
Grandpa snapped, “July, it’s a sin to sell an animal, let alone a child! I can’t believe you’d say such a thing!”
Aunt July countered, “Well, Pa, I wouldn’t be buying her. I’d just give Jane some money so she wouldn’t have to worry about being tied down with a child she doesn’t really want. You know how she likes to run the streets, and you know how she pretends that Ali belongs to her friend, Polly. She doesn’t even claim the child in public. Ali also needs a good Christian upbringing, which I could give her. It seems like my Christian duty to take the child and give her a proper raising.”
Grandma said, “That’s for sure, but you know what Jane told us when we offered to take the child when she was a baby, even though she was starving and Jane couldn’t even buy milk for her.”
In a stern voice, Grandpa said, “Let’s drop the subject right now!”
When the conversation came to a halt, Ali walked into the house, her heart pounding, her mouth so dry that she didn’t think she could spit. Jane didn’t want her?
Grandpa stood and said, “Well, it’s time to take Ali home, and I have to get home and feed the animals.”
Aunt July patted Ali’s head and said, “I’m so happy to see you again, Ali. You come back with Ma and Pa every chance you get, okay?”
Ali smiled weakly and said, “Okay.”
Before they drove back to the other side of town, they stopped by Red Front, where Ali picked out her favorite foods and a lot of tuna for Mr. Puss. As Grandpa drove he said, “Ali, Grandma and I would like to take you to church with us, if Jane will let you go.”
“I’ll ask her,” Ali said, her voice barely audible.
