‘What time is your meeting at the WI tonight?’ Rosie asked Sylvia pointedly when she felt the questioning was becoming a little too personal.
‘Goodness, is that the time?’ Sylvia said, checking the tiny fob watch she had pinned to her blouse. ‘I don’t know where the afternoon has gone. Would you think me very rude if I had to go out? I’m sure you won’t mind if I leave you two alone?’
‘Not at all. There’s no need to fret,’ Trevor said, a little too eagerly.
‘And you don’t have to worry about the washing-up, Mum,’ Rosie added, smothering her smile. ‘I’ll be happy to do that if you need to get off. I’d hate you to be late.’
To her astonishment, Trevor added, ‘And I can always help her.’
‘I’m really sorry to have to leave you like this,’ Sylvia said. ‘I honestly thought I still had lots of time.’
Sylvia suddenly began rushing about looking for her coat. ‘I don’t know where the afternoon’s gone,’ she said when Trevor helped her on with it and she turned and patted his hand. ‘Thank you for the kind offer to do the dishes, Trevor, but you mustn’t dream of it. In this house guests never do the washing-up, do they, Rosie?’ And she gave the tinkly laugh she usually saved for Archie when he was in a playful mood.
Rosie didn’t say anything as Sylvia was still gushing. ‘But please feel free to stay as long as you like, Trevor. I won’t be gone long, but I’m to become the chairman of our local Women’s Institute group next week and tonight’s an important meeting as it’s the last one before the handover. And what with’—she waved her hands in the air—‘all the talk about war and the special measures that will have to be implemented, there’s a lot of decisions to be made and items to be voted on.’
‘I’ll be glad to stay and keep Rosie company,’ Trevor said. ‘What time will you be back?’ he asked with an air of innocence that suddenly made Rosie suspicious.
‘I can’t promise. But I’m sure I’ll be back by eight at the latest.’
‘Oh, that’s fine. I’ll be gone by then.’ Trevor smiled broadly. ‘So I’ll say goodbye now and thanks for my tea.’ He put out his hand. ‘It was very nice to meet you properly at last.’
Trevor hardly waited for the back door to close than he was behind Rosie, urging her to turn the key in the lock and hurry back to the living room. He steered her towards the couch and gave her a forceful shove onto the cushions.
‘What are you doing? I can hardly breathe,’ she gasped, completely winded. In an attempt to flop down beside her, Trevor had almost landed in her lap. He quickly shifted his bulk and put his arms around her.
‘Well, she’s gone,’ he said with a broad grin, ‘and you heard what she said; she’ll be back by eight so we’d better get a move on.’
‘Doing what?’ Rosie struggled to sit up.
‘Use your imagination, girl.’ Trevor grinned as he pushed Rosie back down again, more gently this time and smothered her lips with his. She could feel his hands beginning to move swiftly all over her body.
‘Hey,’ Rosie protested, ‘what do you think you’re doing?’ She had been taken by surprise by the speed of his movements and protested more out of habit, not wanting to admit that she was enjoying it.
‘You have got expensive tastes, my darling,’ Trevor said, nuzzling her ear. ‘I don’t know if you realise it, but it’s going to take me quite a while to save up for the kind of ring you want. You don’t expect me to wait that long before we can have a bit of fun, do you?’
Rosie was nonplussed. She hadn’t thought of that.
‘So I thought it might be a far better idea to take advantage right now of your mother’s hospitality, especially now that she’s had the foresight to go out for an hour or so. What do you say?’ But he crushed his lips onto hers before she could say anything.
‘You know what I say!’ Rosie managed to get the words out finally when he surfaced for air. ‘I’ve told you on several occasions and I’ve no intention of changing my mind.’
Trevor smiled. ‘Oh, come on, be reasonable,’ he wheedled. ‘What difference will it make if we do it before you actually get the ring, rather than after? We know we’re officially engaged to be married. Between the two of us we don’t even need a ring.’
‘I think I am being perfectly reasonable,’ Rosie protested. ‘I’m also being sensible. We’d be taking an awful chance trying to do it here, and now.’
‘Why’s that?’
‘What if Mum comes back early? She could, you know.’
‘Oh God, this is hopeless!’ Trevor sighed as he climbed off her, shoulders slumped. For a moment Rosie felt a flutter of fear, thinking of her father, but Trevor merely went to Archie’s cigarette box that stood on the sideboard and helped himself.
He lit up two automatically before handing her one without comment. Rosie sat up. She was beginning to feel frustrated and disappointed that being engaged wasn’t all she had thought it would be. For starters, she was no longer as sure as she had been about what she wanted. She had always been clear in her own mind that she intended to save herself for marriage, but when Trevor’s hands had started wandering … well, she hadn’t expected to feel like that.
Trevor came back and sat down on the edge of the couch beside her.
‘So, how long is this going to go on?’ he said.
‘What do you mean?’ Rosie turned to look at him.
‘I mean, there must be some time when we can guarantee we’ll not be interrupted.’ Trevor’s voice was cajoling again as he moved closer so that she could feel the heat as the sides of their thighs touched and Rosie could sense that his frustration matched her own.
He put his arm across her shoulders and his hand began to play with the curls in her hair.
‘What are you thinking?’ he asked.
Rosie shrugged.
‘I’ll tell you what I’m thinking,’ he said, his voice soft and persuasive. ‘I’m thinking, why don’t we fix up a special time …’
Rosie giggled. ‘You mean, like, make an appointment?’
‘Why not?’ Trevor said and he picked up her hand and kissed the tips of her fingers. ‘At least if we plan it properly so that we can guarantee no one will interfere we’ll both be able to relax and enjoy it and you won’t be worried about your mother coming back in the middle and spoiling everything.’
Rosie looked thoughtful, enjoying this moment as he began to stroke her hair again. ‘Next Sunday Mum said she’ll be at the WI all afternoon and evening, didn’t she?’ she said eventually. ‘They’ll be doing that handover thing she was talking about and I think they’re planning to have a party afterwards. That should be a safe enough time; she’ll be gone the better part of—’ Rosie stopped. She couldn’t believe she was being complicit and was actually saying the words. But it was too late to back out now. Besides, a part of her was excited at the thought.
‘You do know that as far as the rest of the world is concerned none of this really matters, don’t you?’ Trevor said suddenly. ‘Nobody else cares what we do, or when, or even how many times we do it. We’re engaged. In fact, we’re as good as married, if that’s what you’re worried about so it makes sense that we should be allowed to act as if we are married.’ His voice was smooth and calming.
‘There is something else …’ Rosie said, though she actually hadn’t wanted to put voice to the words.
‘Oh yes, and what’s that?’ he said.
‘You know …’ She lowered her chin, unable to look at him and took a tiny puff on her cigarette. ‘The obvious,’ she said. ‘What do all girls worry about?’ She could see from out of the corner of her eye that he was looking directly at her, and she could feel him smoothing her hair off her forehead and pulling the curls out of her eyes. She could feel her face redden as she stared down into her lap. It was as if he was forcing her to say it. But still she couldn’t.
‘You do know,’ she said again.
And this time he smiled. ‘If you’re afraid of getting pregnant, why don’t you sa
y so? If that really is the only thing you’re worried about then all I can say is that you’ll have to trust me.’ He put his hand on her leg and gently squeezed.
He was right, of course, that was exactly what she was scared of and somehow hearing him say the words only served to remind Rosie how frightened she was of the reality and how little she knew about how to prevent the worst from happening or what to do about it if it did. She began to breathe more easily when she felt the reassurance of his touch, though she didn’t want to consider the implication behind his statement. She assumed that he was far more knowledgeable about these matters than she was from the confident way he had said it and she had no wish to go into any more detail. But she realised with horror that she really knew very little about even basic contraception. She’d heard talk of French letters that she knew were available at barbers’ shops and chemists and she wished she had asked her mother more about them when she had had the chance, for she didn’t really know how they worked. But it was too late to be asking now without giving the game away. If she was going ahead with their plan, as she now felt she was committed to do, she would indeed have to rely on Trevor.
During the next few days, Rosie’s mood fluctuated like a roller-coaster ride: one minute she was high with emotional excitement, the next consumed with physical dread at the thought of what she and Trevor were about to do and she worried that she might regret having made him such a promise. But she knew she couldn’t back out now. She also knew that she would have to say something to Claire if she was to guarantee that she and Trevor would have the house to themselves next Sunday afternoon. It was vital that her cousin understood that she must stay away at the appointed time, but she didn’t know how she was going to tell her.
Chapter 23
‘You’re planning on doing what?’ Claire all but exploded when they were next together in their bedroom and Rosie had finally plucked up the courage to tell Claire why she needed her to be out of the house the following Sunday. They were getting ready for bed.
‘Shhh,’ Rosie cautioned. ‘You know how thin these walls are. You don’t want to alert my mother into asking awkward questions.’
‘Sorry. But seriously, Rosie.’ Claire resorted to whispering, ‘I know it’s none of my business but are you really going to lie down and let him have his way?’
‘You make it sound disgusting and totally one-sided,’ Rosie protested. ‘As though I have no say in the matter. I want this as much as he does.’
‘Really? Are you sure about that?’
‘Of course I’m sure. I like to think of it as making love – and that’s a beautiful thing.’ She looked away with a dreamy look in her eyes that reminded Claire of a film she’d seen recently. And when Rosie stared off into the middle distance like several actresses she could name, Claire wanted to laugh. ‘I do love him, Claire. You seem to be overlooking that fact,’ Rosie said.
Now she sounds like one of those cheap actresses, Claire thought, and that made her feel even more sceptical. ‘But it’s such a huge step you’ll be taking,’ Claire said, not knowing how much she dared to say. ‘Not one to be taken lightly. Have you really thought about it?’
‘Believe me, I’ve considered it very carefully,’ Rosie said, ‘but it’s not as if we aren’t getting married soon, so what difference does a piece of paper make, or even a ring for that matter?’
Claire couldn’t help wondering if those really were Rosie’s words as she began to get undressed and ready for bed. She felt she could only challenge so far and was not sure what else she could say; it was obvious Rosie had made up her mind. ‘I know it’s none of my business,’ she said eventually, ‘but have you thought about the possible consequences if things go wrong?’
‘Really, Claire! There’s no need to be so pessimistic.’ Rosie pouted with a false bravado. ‘I’m not completely naïve.’
Claire pulled her flannelette nightdress over her head and tied some rags into her shoulder-length curls; her hair had really grown since she had come to live in Greenhill. ‘All I can say is I hope he loves you as much in return – enough at least to justify what you’re sacrificing.’
‘You make it sound very dramatic,’ Rosie said and she gave a little laugh.
‘In my book what you’re planning is pretty dramatic,’ Claire said as she climbed into bed.
‘So, does that mean you won’t …?’ Rosie’s brow suddenly wrinkled as she turned to look directly at Claire.
Claire sighed. ‘Don’t worry, I’ll get out of the way and leave the coast clear for you. I don’t agree with what you’re doing, but word of honour, I won’t give away your secret.’
Claire, however, had been greatly disturbed by their late-night conversation and when she thought about it later she was sorry she had made the promise to Rosie. She lay awake most of the night worrying whether there was something else she might say that would stop Rosie making what she saw as such a huge mistake. Her aunt was the only person who might be able to prevent Rosie from going ahead with her plan but Claire had promised not to say anything to her and she couldn’t think of anyone else she could confide in. It would feel like a complete betrayal if she said something to Penny as her new friend lived too close to home. No, Claire decided, there was nothing more she could do, but that didn’t stop her spending the rest of the week worrying.
It was a relief on Saturday morning when Penny dropped in to Knit and Sew for a chat and to pick up some knitting wool, and Claire was delighted when her friend asked if she would like to go to the pictures that night. It would be good to have something to take her mind off her worries about Rosie.
‘I thought we might go to see Goodbye Mr Chips,’ Penny said.
‘Yes please. I’ve been dying to see that,’ Claire said. ‘There’s hardly been a customer in the shop who hasn’t recommended it since it opened at the Odeon.’
‘It starts at the Plaza on Saturday when the programme changes,’ Penny said. ‘I thought we could go there, though on a Saturday night we might have to queue to get in.’
‘How’s about we have a bit of a picnic first, if the weather’s nice?’ Claire suggested and Penny readily agreed.
It was bright and sunny all day on Saturday and, when Penny arrived to collect her, Claire asked Rosie if she would like to join them.
‘Thanks, but Trevor’s taking me dancing tonight,’ Rosie said with a happy smile, and she gave a twirl to show off the fullness of her semi-circular skirt – what she called her dancing skirt. ‘It should be fun,’ she said, and behind her mother’s back, she winked at Claire.
‘Enjoy yourself, anyway,’ Claire said. She and Penny set off to stroll up to the park together with their small basket of food and they sat on a bench by the children’s swings to eat them. But all she could think about was Rosie and her plans for tomorrow.
They arrived at the cinema well before the programme’s showing time to find two queues had already formed on either side of the box office. The longer line was for the cheaper seats and it stretched down the gable end wall of the picture house and round and back on itself in front of the cinema. The shorter queue was for the more expensive seats which usually meant the back rows where mostly courting couples went and that only stretched halfway down the wall on the other side.
‘Sixpence or ninepence?’ Claire asked as they made their way halfway round the cinema.
‘Cheapest available,’ Penny said.
‘Do you think we’ll get in? The queue’s longer than I thought it would be.’ Claire sounded anxious as they joined the end of the longer line.
‘Oh yes, it can curl back on itself a couple of more times before you can’t guarantee getting a seat, although even then you might be able to get one on the front row.’
Claire glanced over to the shorter queue, wondering if it might be worth splashing out for a ninepenny ticket but then she gasped and looked away quickly. Immediately behind the barrier at the front of the line marked ninepence was a man who looked exactly like Trevor. She had only met hi
m once and that was in the dark, but he was tall and there was something distinctive about the wildness of his thatch of hair that made her certain it was him. She looked along the line, searching for Rosie. Meanwhile, the young man was animatedly talking to a pretty dark-haired young woman who was standing beside him and there was no sign of Rosie. Claire was about to say something to Penny, who knew Trevor from work, but her friend had already seen him.
‘Well, well, well!’ Penny said, before Claire had a chance to say anything. ‘Is that who I think it is? It’s your Rosie’s lad. I thought he and Rosie were going dancing tonight? They are still stepping out together, aren’t they?’
‘That’s certainly what Rosie seemed to think not more than half an hour ago,’ Claire said, shocked now that Penny had confirmed her suspicions. ‘She was waiting for him when I left the house and she was expecting them to be going dancing.’
‘Well, now it looks like he’s with Phyllis Whatshername. I forget her surname, but she used to work at the old mill, in accounts.’
At that moment, two young girls in smart maroon uniforms appeared in the cinema foyer and unhooked the plaited ropes that had been blocking the entrance. Almost immediately the queues began the slow shuffle towards the box office, putting an end to any kind of private conversation.
‘He’s taken her to the back row,’ Claire whispered as the usherette flashed her torch, illuminating one of the few remaining pairs of sixpenny seats and she and Claire had to concentrate on pushing their way past a row of people without treading on anyone’s toes. Claire’s mind was reeling and all she could think about was what had happened to Rosie? She was worried about what she should say regarding Trevor when they got home. She turned to Penny to say something, but before they even had a chance to sit down, the adverts were flashing onto the screen followed by miserable black-and-white pictures of German tanks practising manoeuvres in unidentified countryside as the Pathé newsreel recounted the latest European news, and it became impossible to talk over the soundtrack.
‘Would you like an ice cream or a drink?’ Penny asked in the interval after they had somehow endured the whole of the second feature. It was supposed to be a comedy but neither of them had laughed and Claire was hoping some refreshments might help lift the sombre mood that had descended on them both.
The Postmistress Page 19
