“Holy— Oh, my God—” Words came out in a jumble. My hips bucked, tingles traveled clear down to my toes, and my eyes rolled back into my head as my climax washed over me.
Never.
Never had I experienced an orgasm such as this one. While I was still recovering, I could feel his hips between my knees, the crown of his length at my entrance.
“We’ll go slow. You’re small, and I don’t want to hurt you.”
“I pushed out an eight-pound baby out of my vagina, so I’m pretty sure you’ll fit just fine.”
He froze, and I realized what I’d blurted out this time around.
“Sorry. Officially most unsexy thing ever said during pre-penetration.”
He chuckled and then leaned in with his mouth to my ear. “I think it’s clear that either I’m going to need to gag you, which has possibilities, or I’ll need to do some more dirty talking to distract you.”
Both my libido and curiosity shot off the charts. “I’m game.”
He teased me with the tip of his cock, rubbing back and forth. “Do you have any idea how hard I am for you right now, how much I can’t wait to feel your hot pussy clenching around me? How, when I see you in those leggings, it makes me want to bend you over something and take you deep? In fact, I don’t think you’ll need those batteries, but you may need more bags of frozen French fries come tomorrow morning.”
Mission accomplished. He was doing it. He was turning my mind off and my speaking abilities to mush. As a result, I was growing wetter and felt him push in the first inch. Who would’ve ever thought the words French fries and batteries in the same sentence could be such a turn-on? Or that Mark, of all people, was a dirty talker?
“Put your hands on me. Touch me.”
Didn’t have to ask me twice. I skimmed my hands down to his hips and felt the strength in every patch I explored. It was almost enough to want to flick on the light so I could see every inch of him.
He slid in further, causing me to gasp at the pressure. “Let me know if it hurts.”
Ahh. The sweet intrusion burned a little, but it also felt incredible.
Our tongues mated, both of us desperate for the intimacy. He pushed further inside of me, and I was almost convinced I might split in two before I could sheath him completely. Once he was deeply rooted, filling me completely, I took a deep breath at the exquisite feeling.
“You all right?” He was breathless, holding himself in place.
I nodded and then involuntarily moved my hips. My body was way ahead of my mind.
“Go easy. I don’t want to hurt you.”
My body felt stretched, but I forced myself to relax. “I can’t help it. You feel amazing.”
“You do, too. We’ll go slow until you get used to me, okay?”
He pulled out slightly and then back home again.
I couldn’t see his face, but I could feel the restraint in his shoulders. I thrust my hips up the next time to meet his.
“Jesus,” he hissed.
The fact that he was so turned on and yet restricting himself fueled my inner animal. The one who had been starved for this for two years. Or frankly, the animal who had always been hungry for it and hadn’t known what I’d been missing. I arched up and felt his muscular arm move under the small of my back. He braced me in the optimal position to hit my tender spot.
“Mark—” Just like that, a white heat rolled over me, consuming me completely with its intensity, all the way from head to toes. I barely registered his movements as the aftershocks rocked my body. I may have even blacked out a bit because the next thing I knew he’d gone from being pressed against me to pulling out slowly.
“Did you?” I questioned.
He laughed. “Uh, yeah. I don’t know how you missed the whole groaning like a wild animal and grunting out my orgasm inside of you.”
I laughed at his description as he curled me into his side. Both our bodies were slick with perspiration and the smell of sex was heavy in the air. “I think I may have passed out and missed it.”
“Good, because I’m hoping I’ll be more focused on your climax before losing all control next time. Should’ve given you another one first.”
I was incredulous that I’d had two. “Believe me when I say I’m not complaining.”
“I need to get up for a minute and dispose of the condom.”
“Right. Okay.”
I felt him leave the bed. When the light of the bathroom shined briefly as he went inside, I quickly covered myself.
He returned shortly after and crawled back in, gathering me close. I savored the feel of him holding me in his arms while his whispered words came in my ear. “Don’t worry. I’ll leave by morning, but I want to hold you for a few minutes longer.”
As if I’d ever argue with that.
CHAPTER EIGHT
I woke up quite alone. Pins of light shone through my blinds, which were now partially opened. Mark’s side of the bed was cold, so he must have left before dawn as he’d promised.
Moving my legs, I felt the delicious reminder of last night. We might have only had sex the one time, but it was enough to ensure I’d be walking funny today.
I threw on a robe and went into the bathroom. Catching my reflection, I was immediately grateful he hadn’t seen me in the light this morning. My hair looked like a family of rats had taken up residence while my makeup was smeared where it hadn’t disappeared completely. And when I opened my robe to study my once perky breasts, I had to fight my worry over what Mark had thought last night.
Given the way his body had felt, I didn’t need to see it to know it was flawless. Taking a deep breath, I forced myself to relax. This type of neurosis would eventually drive both of us insane. We were no-strings, friends, buddies—although if that limitation were true and we were truly only ‘hooking up,’ why had it been years since either of us had had sex, four for him and two for me?
After Tristan woke up and we had breakfast, I would need to run to the pharmacy. But since nothing said mother-of-the-year like dragging your toddler to the pharmacy for condoms, I immediately talked myself out of the trip. Wouldn’t they be something the guy would take care of? I wasn’t sure of condom protocol, but he’d been willing to go get them last night so I assumed he still felt that responsibility. If he was coming back, that was.
Good grief. I needed a break from my own thoughts.
After checking the monitor to ensure Tristan was still sleeping, I took a quick shower and dressed. When I went out into the kitchen, I found a few things lined up on my countertop. Starting at the post-it marked with a number one and a white bag next to it, I read: “Breakfast”
Inside the bag were fresh croissants and muffins.
The second note had my heart beating faster: “Put me in your nightstand”
I dug in the bag to find a box of condoms, mega size. Clearly, the darkness and the beer hadn’t made up the size illusion.
I couldn’t believe he’d been so thoughtful and quickly typed out a text.
“The bags were very thoughtful. Thank you.”
“I don’t know about condoms being thoughtful, but you’re welcome.”
Biting my lip, I typed out the next sentence before I could overthink it.
“Will I see you tonight?”
“I thought your mom was coming in from out of town?”
Cluck. She was. And I’d totally forgot about it.
“She is, but evidently I have sex brain and forgot.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment.”
I smiled at his response even though it didn’t hint at when I’d see him again.
The rest of my Friday was a blur. Tristan and I went grocery shopping and then, during nap time, I did housework in preparation for my mother’s visit. There was something cathartic about the cleaning process. It cleared my mind so I only thought about last night twice a minute instead of ten times.
My mother was so excited about my invitation to New York City for Catherine’s party tha
t she tried to convince me to stay the night there on Saturday. It was tempting, but I wasn’t about to shell out three hundred dollars for a hotel room I couldn’t afford. And I certainly wouldn’t rely on the generosity of my friends. It was bad enough Haylee had already bought my train ticket and refused reimbursement for it.
At the local trunk-or-treat, Tristan was thrilled to fill his little bucket with candy. Following that and getting him settled in with Grandma for the evening, I traveled into New York with Josh, Haylee and their daughter, Abby. I kept myself from asking where Mark was, but wondered if I would, in fact, see him at the party.
Catherine had rented out a beautiful restaurant in an area called Tribeca and hired a DJ. Everyone was dressed in costume and the drinks were flowing.
I found my gaze scanning the room for a familiar face. Finally finding my target, I smiled. Of course, he was dressed as Superman. And he looked gorgeous.
I’d donned a snow fairy costume with wings and had my long hair down in curls. It wasn’t as elaborate as some of the other getups, but it was safe and easy to pull off.
I’d wondered if it would be awkward to see him again, considering the whole sex thing two nights ago, but it turned out much worse than awkward. He was avoiding me. I tried to make eye contact, stealing glances his way, but he chose to keep his distance, even excusing himself from a group once I walked up. I contemplated confronting him, but ultimately chickened out. I could take a hint, especially one spelled out in neon lights. He wasn’t interested in seeking me out this evening. At least not in front of others.
If I hadn’t already decided to go home early in order to kiss Tristan good night, Mark ignoring me at the party made it an even easier decision. After changing into jeans and a T-shirt, I found a cab right outside the building and headed for the train station about ten o’clock.
I didn’t know what I’d anticipated, but Mark’s behavior hurt. Of course, having expectations that he might treat me differently after one night of sex was unfair. But I couldn’t help remembering how my ex used to be embarrassed to be seen with me. The old insecurity crept up. I shouldn’t be surprised Mark wouldn’t want his friends to know about the two of us. They were all sophisticated, worldly, and enjoyed a lifestyle where traveling to New York for a party was no big deal. I was just a small-town girl gawking at the lights and bustle of Times Square through the cab window.
Damn, I was doing the very thing Mark had told me I’d done with Chad. Mentally listing out the ways I wasn’t worthy. Maybe it was finally time for me to stop making excuses and call for an appointment with Dr. Mac.
I climbed aboard the Amtrak train feeling more than ready to go home. The trip would take a little over two hours, but I had a book to read and would get to check on my sleeping boy before falling into bed.
Mark’s name flashed up on my phone as the train pulled out of the station. I hesitated but then decided to answer.
“Hey.”
“Hey. Is everything okay with Tristan? Brian said you headed up early.”
Although it did something to my heart that he expressed concern, I had to wonder why he cared. “Yes, he’s good. He’s already in bed. I just—It’s not easy for me to be away from him.”
“I wish you would’ve told me. I could’ve gone with you.”
“Guess I must’ve missed the opportunity during all the conversations we had.” It was more aggressive than passive, but I couldn’t help myself.
“I didn’t—I mean I couldn’t—”
“It’s okay. I get it.”
“No, you don’t. Shit. I wish I would’ve left with you.”
“Your friends probably would’ve noticed you missing.”
“I had no clue how to act in front of them tonight. But avoiding you was shitty, and I’m sorry.
“I wasn’t sure how to act, either, but you still could’ve said hello.”
“You’re right. I fucked up. And again, I apologize.”
I wasn’t completely over it, but I recognized some of my anger had to do with my own past issues regarding my ex. “Accepted, so long as you don’t get weird again.”
“Promise I won’t. Is that why you left?”
“Partially. But mostly it’s because I like to kiss my baby before I go to bed each night. I’m certain my neurosis is unhealthy, but it’s hard for me to spend the night away from him.” There was no way I wanted to mention the cost of the hotel as being a factor too.
“You’re not neurotic. You’re a good mom who misses her son.”
Damn, the man knew how to give a compliment. So much so, I had to clear the emotion from my throat. “Thanks for saying that. Uh, I’d better go before I lose the connection.”
“Yeah. Okay. I’ll hopefully see you in a couple of days?”
“Sure. Maybe after my mom heads back.”
“Okay. Safe travels, Jules.”
***
My mom left on Monday. By Tuesday afternoon Mark texted asking if he could bring by Chinese for dinner. Once I agreed, he asked for my order.
I tried to talk myself out of feeling anxious about seeing him again. But by the time he knocked, butterflies were going bonkers in my stomach.
“Hi.” Sounding like I had just run five miles, I opened the door.
“Hi.” He bestowed a slow, lazy smile before looking behind me. “Hey, Tristan, how are you, my man? High five.”
I loved how he was so natural and was sincerely excited to spend time with my son.
“Book, book,” Tristan insisted, causing Mark to laugh.
He handed me a take-out bag, “Here’s the food. I’m fine reading to him if you want to dish it up.”
“Uh, yeah, sure.” I took the bag into the kitchen and peered out at them on the couch. Tristan was on Mark’s lap while he happily read to him. We had done this countless times over the last couple weeks, so why was I about to hyperventilate about it tonight?
Because he had the power to hurt me, as demonstrated by Catherine's party. But it was much worse than that. Tristan was becoming fond of and growing attached to him. This was a level for which I was unprepared as I wasn’t sure how to keep things casual. Not that I was an expert, but I was reasonably certain reading Llama Llama books to my son didn’t fit the definition of no-strings-attached sex.
I turned away and put my elbows on the counter, trying to get a grip. When I felt his hands wrap around me from the back, I jumped.
“Don’t overthink it. This is no different than any other time we've had dinner and spent time together. Okay?”
I turned and buried my face in his chest so he couldn’t see how anxious I was.
“Deep breaths, Jules. We may have slept together, but we’re still friends. And I’m hanging out with you because I happen to like, like you, and I’m spending time with Tristan because he is the coolest little kid I know.”
I smiled at his remembrance of our double like conversation when I’d been sick.
“You okay?”
I nodded, starting to feel better.
“And again, I’m sorry about the Halloween party. I realize it sounds lame, but I mean it sincerely. I won’t ever ignore you again.”
Maybe the definition of what we were doing was cloudy, but we’d started as friends. I certainly didn’t want to end that nor our newfound physical relationship. “It’s okay. I was probably oversensitive. And I’m a little crazy. You know that, right?”
But instead of laughing like I thought he would, he pulled back and narrowed his eyes. “I’m about to tie you to the bed and leave you there until you say something nice about yourself.”
“Is it bad that turns me on?”
He quirked a brow and then laughed. “Not for me. Now, let’s eat dinner and be normal until I take you into your dark bedroom and have my way with you again.”
My mind went straight to the fantasy reel of what that would entail.
“Keep looking at me like that, and I’m going to fast-forward the clock to Tristan’s bedtime,” he whispered in my ear
, giving it a nibble to drive the point home.
“How much longer until eight o’clock?” A pinch of guilt hit me even as the question left my lips. I’d never put someone before my son. But all of a sudden I was anxious to get Tristan to bed in order to have some adult time.
“We have an hour. Come on, let’s eat.”
The three of us sat down at the table where Tristan happily ate fried rice from his high chair, and Mark and I acted as we always did at dinner, with the exception of a lingering touch here or an innuendo there.
“How’s the math class coming along?”
I frowned, not liking the reminder. “Not great. English is better.”
“Math wasn’t my favorite subject, either.”
But I bet he’d been better at it than I was. “I’ll figure it out.” Or more likely I’d drop the class after my first exam next week. It wasn’t looking good.
“Is it Tristan’s bath night tonight?”
I was glad he changed the subject and shook my head. “Nope, we had bath time earlier. Once he’s done eating, I only need to change him and read him a book.”
Lucky for me, he was an easy child to put to bed. I truly enjoyed our time cuddling in the rocking chair where I read him a book and then hummed a lullaby. After kissing his forehead, I laid him down in his crib. Lastly, I covered him with his small blanket, something that would inevitably find itself wadded in the corner by morning. But it gave me some peace that he was warm enough for the moment.
Shifting my gaze towards the bedroom door, I saw Mark watching me with a tender expression on his face. My panic struck again. I was being irrational; no one wanted to take away this time I had with Tristan. Besides, this wasn’t some interloper. This was my friend, my lover now, but still my friend.
As if sensing my mood, he took my hand and waited while I shut the door softly. “I didn’t mean to intrude. I heard you humming and wanted to see you. You’re an amazing mom, Juliette.”
Once again, his compliment floored me.
“I didn’t mind. It simply took me off guard, and thank you. Sometimes I wonder if it will be enough for him, just a mom and not a father. I know, I know: I’m voicing another insecurity, so I’ll shut up.”
Show Me Something Page 10
