He smiled at her gratefully. “Yes, if that’s okay?”
Sasha stood up. “Perfect timing, actually. Break time is over. I should get back.”
I watched wordlessly while my friends filed out, all giving small smiles. Kenzie was the exception, asking, “Did I miss something?”
Yeah, good question. When I got to my feet, I realized that three drinks in a short amount of time had me a bit tipsy. Given past experience, this probably didn’t bode well.
Once we were alone, he shut the door and moved in front of me. “Hi.”
“Hello.” Although I’d braced myself for what I was convinced he was about to say, I decided to preempt it. “If you’re intending to break up with me, can we please wait until after the reception?”
He looked shocked. “Why on earth would you think I’m breaking up with you?”
“Because I get it now.”
“Get what?”
“I had an epiphany during the toast when I tried to imagine Brian or Sasha finding someone else if anything were to happen to one of them. I realized that kind of love—maybe it does come around only once in a lifetime.”
He ran a hand through his hair. “You are completely on the wrong track here. But that’s my fault. Last week was difficult, but I should’ve—”
I shook my head. “No, it’s okay. You said you needed time, and it’s pretty clear when you avoided me during the reception that you still aren’t ready and I’m telling you it’s okay because I understand it now.”
“Jules, stop. You definitely do not understand.” His frustration was showing. “First, I was late showing up to the reception because I went with Haylee and Josh to decorate the bridal suite after the ceremony on the beach. Which sounds a whole lot fucking weirder than it was when I say it out loud. Basically, Haylee wanted to do it, she roped in Josh, and he begged me to come, too, so he wasn’t the only one tossing rose petals on the bed.”
A smile tugged at my lips at the thought of them making the wedding night hotel room romantic.
“As you’re probably imagining, it was ridiculous for Josh and me to be helping, but obviously it’s for our friends, and Haylee asked. Anyhow, when I arrived back here, I ended up having to go way over to the far side of the lot to find parking. Then, when I came in to the reception room, I got waylaid into a conversation with Josh’s mom. I haven’t seen her in a while. After that, Catherine and Will. Before I knew it, you were up there giving your speech, and I hadn’t had any time to talk to you. Then when I got tied up with photos, you disappeared. But I was not avoiding you.”
“I guess that explains where you went.”
“As for last week, I should’ve called, but I wasn’t in the right frame of mind. I had a lot going on, which I want to tell you about. But maybe not now because it’s a lot. Especially since Brian told me they’re cutting the cake in ten minutes. Is it okay if we talk later? Promise you won’t take off on me?”
“I won’t take off, but maybe you could give me a clue about the ending of this talk. Because the last few weeks my mind has been going through this pinball game of emotions. I mean, the silver ball gets launched and is high at first, but bam—It goes right, then left, pinging around to we’re good, we’re great; oh, no, it’s moving lower and we’re not so good now because you need time, but how much time before the ball goes down the hole because I can’t save it with those flapper thingies—? Ping, ping, ping.”
I was making hand gestures to illustrate my words when he cut me off with a kiss. “God, I fucking love you.”
I pulled away in shock. “Wh-what did you just say?”
He cupped my face, letting every one of his words sink in. “The peek at the ending is that I love you, Jules.”
“But Sarah is the love of your life.”
He sighed. “She was the love of my life, but that is not my life any longer. Although twenty-something-year-old Mark loved Sarah more than anything, I’m no longer him. Instead, I’m the man standing before you. A different person than I was all those years ago with a different life. And the man I am now loves you more than anything.”
“But—” I didn’t mean to argue with him; however, I was having a hard time believing this turn of events.
“But nothing. You are the love of this life. And instead of just filling a void in it, you give me the reasons to live it.”
My eyes instantly filled with tears.
He reacted to this as every guy does. He panicked. “Whoa, whoa. Jules. I didn’t mean to make you cry. Hey. What’s going on in that beautiful head of yours?”
I swallowed past the ball of emotion in my throat and shook my head. “I love you, too. But during my toast, I thought—God, I thought I was letting you go tonight because I finally got it.”
“No. It’s me who finally got it. I’m only sorry it took me this long and that I made you doubt my feelings for you. And I certainly didn’t want to make you cry at our friends’ wedding reception.” His thumbs wiped my tears.
“These are happy tears. I promise.”
He looked skeptical. “Yeah, well, happiness is sort of running away with your mascara, so you’d best take a minute to fix it before we go back in there and everyone thinks I made you cry.”
A giggle escaped my throat. “Afraid of being punched by the groom?”
He grinned. “Um, to be honest, I’m more afraid of the bride if she sees you with a splotchy face.”
We both smiled at the thought. Sasha wasn’t called fierce around the office for no reason.
“So how about we return to the reception and talk more later?”
I nodded. “I think that sounds like a good plan.”
After I touched up my makeup, we went back to the reception hand in hand. At my table, our friends had saved two seats next to one another. Mark not only made a show of pulling out my chair, but he also settled his hand on mine in plain sight of everyone.
I hadn’t realized how much I’d needed the validation in front of others until now. This public display was also a huge step for Mark showing he’d overcome his guilt to the point he could allow our friends to see him happy again.
Later, when he pulled me out onto the dance floor, I felt myself truly relaxing for the first time in weeks.
“You’re awfully quiet,” he whispered.
“Weird huh?”
“I tend to think of it as a compliment. Like maybe the pinball machine is on pause?”
Huh. He was right. I only tended to talk constantly when I was anxious. At the moment, I was feeling peace. Peace in us, peace in me, peace be with you. Yep, a whole lot of clucking peace. “I find it funny you picked up on that before I did, but yes, the game is quiet right now with all the balls where they belong.”
He chuckled. “Good. You look beautiful tonight in this dress and your sexy shoes.”
The pinching of my feet was worth the small amount of pain they caused as they elevated my height. And the shoes weren’t the only thing I’d purchased.
“Wait until I show you what I have on underneath. Here’s a hint. The color is the same as this dress.” I couldn’t quite believe I’d spent that much money on a scrap of lacy underwear and matching bra, but now was glad I had as I was anxious for Mark to see it.
A low growl reverberated through him. “Would it be rude to drag you off this dance floor and back to our hotel room right now?”
“Our hotel room? Didn’t you get one, too?”
His face scrunched in confusion. “No. I assumed we were sharing, and since you made your reservation before I did, I didn’t bother to get one. Because why would we get two rooms?”
Why, indeed? “I think we still have some work to do on the communication front. I should’ve asked instead of assuming.”
“I think it’s safe to assume we’ll be sharing rooms from now on. So, was that a yes, I can drag you back to the room?”
I checked my watch. “In thirty more minutes. I’m in charge of sparklers for the happy couple’s send-off.” Brian had thou
ght of little details that I was happy to help carry out.
“You know, for not being in this wedding, this is a lot of work.”
He was joking I could tell. “It’s what friends do. Now, back to you wanting to drag me off to the hotel room. Maybe you could tell me in detail what you have planned.”
Because I did love his filthy mouth.
“If I do that, then we won’t make it to say goodnight to the couple. Plus, we have some more things to talk about before we get to the good stuff.”
I felt like a kid who’d been told to do my math homework before I could go outside to play. Then again, since I already knew the ending to whatever he intended to tell me, I felt less anxious about what he had to say.
“Did you call your mom to check up on Tristan, by the way?”
Because the wedding was in Sasha’s hometown, we were five hours away from Charlotte. My mother was babysitting there overnight. “Yep. He’s down for the count after having watched the movie Cars. And nice try with the distraction.”
“It’s for both of us. Never tell Brian or Sasha this, but I can’t wait for this reception to be over.”
I grinned. “I won’t, especially since I feel the same. And I’m sure they’d understand.”
After staying until the end of the party and then, outside the club, sending off the happily married couple with a gauntlet of sparklers, Mark and I headed back to our hotel room a few miles away.
Once there, I slipped off my shoes before zipping down the side of my dress. Let’s hear it for side zippers as I didn’t need assistance.
“Wait. Leave the dress on. I do need to talk to you about this last week.”
Thanks to the wonders of champagne, I’d pretty much forgotten that he’d wanted to talk first. “Is everything okay?”
“Yes. But if you take off your dress, I’ll be distracted with your gorgeous body, though I do plan on enjoying it soon.”
He cupped my face, more solemn than I’d ever seen him. “I meant what I said earlier. I love you, Jules. With all of my heart. I can’t and wouldn’t change that it first belonged to Sarah or that she’ll always be part of my past. But I want you to believe me when I say I’ve moved on, something I’ll hopefully show you every day. You’re my future. You and Tristan.”
Cue the liquid happiness running down my face again. “I love you, too.” The words came out muffled against his chest since he’d crushed me to him, giving me the type of hug that envelops the soul.
“I’m sorry I needed time last week, but there was a lot happening. It was emotional, to say the least.”
I pulled back, needing him to understand he didn’t have to say he was sorry for it. “It’s okay. It wasn’t easy not hearing from you, but don’t apologize for needing this time. Did you, uh, hang out with her family all week?” I was genuinely curious if he’d spent it with her family, sat huddled in the dark crying his eyes out, or what.
“Some of the time. Yes. But most of the week was spent packing up my house.”
“WHAT?” I practically shouted, stepping back and staring at him in disbelief.
He gave me a small smile. “Sarah’s parents and sister came over and took the items they wanted, such as pictures and mementos. We were going through photos when you called, so again, I’m sorry I wasn’t ready to talk. Anyhow, I put some other things in boxes that I’m not sure will ever see the light of day again, but I wasn’t ready to let go of them. And the house will go on the market after I finish making a couple needed repairs.”
“Holy shit.” Not only was it the first time he’d freely spoken to me about Sarah in conversation, but he was also selling his house. I took a seat on the bed, completely in disbelief. “Sorry, give me a minute here to say something better. More profound.”
He chuckled, taking a seat beside me. “You owe a dollar in the jar. But I think your response just now was the only one I needed to hear.”
“Why this week?” The anniversary of Sarah’s death seemed an unlikely candidate as a time for him to come to these conclusions.
He expelled a long breath, taking my hands. “It had been building for a while. There was a reason I was spending every night at my office instead of going home to a house full of reminders. Although it’s a sad time each year, I was tired of being sad—if that makes sense.”
He tucked my hair behind my ear, taking a breath. “It sank in on that Sunday when I went over to her parent’s house like I do every year. We visited her grave, we went through pictures, and I went home. Then on Monday I drove back over, finally admitting to her family that I’d felt responsible. After all these years, I blurted it out. And you know what? They already knew that she’d come there because we’d disagreed about the wedding. She’d told them. And they’d discussed how postponing actually did make sense. They said that when she’d left the house, they all knew we would be fine. That we’d simply postpone the wedding until after the bar exam. I only wish I’d brought it up sooner so I could’ve known.”
Although it was usually Mark who was dealing with guilt, I couldn’t help feeling a measure of my own now. I felt sad she’d died and that things hadn’t worked out for them and yet happy he was with me now. It wasn’t comfortable to dwell on it. “It was closure for you?”
He nodded. “Long awaited. And then I told them about you. About you and Tristan.”
“You did?” I was floored. Holy crap, when the man said he needed to “talk,” he wasn’t messing around. The surprises just kept on rolling.
“I didn’t want to hide it any longer. It was important they know I found love. They’re happy for me. In fact, they want to meet you. Someday. When you’re ready. And I’d love for that to happen. Not because I seek their validation or need their opinion about you, but simply because they’re like family to me.”
The last thing I wanted to do was be a wedge between him and people who clearly loved him. They even wanted to maintain a relationship with him despite him having a new woman in his life. “I’d love to meet them. Although you do know how I am when I get anxious, so please be forewarned that I’ll have buckets of nerves. You may find it adorable, which for the record could speak to your level of crazy matching mine, so—disclaimer and all.”
He smiled. “Duly noted, and think of it this way. If you weren’t that way, I wouldn’t have ever discovered how much my fingers turned you on at the rooftop party the first time we met.”
I giggled, thinking back to that disastrous night. In the end, it was turning out spectacularly. “Two-fingered-orgasm-inducing fingers, if I recall correctly.”
He threw his head back, laughing. “It’s a good thing you didn’t have the same reaction to Dr. Mac.”
Now I was laughing, too. “Wait, if you’re selling your house, does that mean you plan on moving?”
He started kissing behind my ear. “I hear North Carolina is nice. Pretty girls there.”
“Depends on where you go. For instance, Charlotte is probably best. I hear the girls there are kind of kinky.”
“Thank cluck.”
I pulled back, framing his face and smiling. “Did you just mommy-modify the F-word?”
“I figured I’d better start if I want to make a case for moving in with you anytime soon.”
“You’re going to contribute to the jar?”
“You bet. Or if moving in right away is too fast, especially since you got into your new place only a couple weeks ago, I can get one close by, and we can wait.”
“It’s not too fast, but you’re the one whose life changes drastically when you move in with me and a toddler. Are you sure you’re ready?”
It wasn’t a small task to go from a bachelor who worked from home to a guy living with a mom and child.
He didn’t hesitate with his answer. “I want early mornings of waking up with Tristan and letting you sleep in while we quietly make you breakfast in bed. I want getting up in the middle of the night because maybe someday he’ll call my name when he’s afraid of the dark. And I want family
dinners, bath nights, and homework. I want dinners out with our friends. Holidays split between our families and anything else I’m not thinking of. I want it all with you.”
The man was perfection. “I want it all, too. And I’d love if you moved in.”
“Would it be too presumptuous if I did it tomorrow? I brought my stuff with me.”
I stood up and stepped out of the dress, enjoying the way his eyes narrowed with desire at my red lacy thong and matching bra. “It’s not too presumptuous. And I hope you packed the toy bag.”
He pulled me to him, hugging my waist. “Have I mentioned how much I love the girls from Charlotte? Now, let me look at you. You’re so fucking sexy.”
I arched a brow at his failed attempt to avoid profanity, which made him chuckle.
“I think this swear jar may end up being a new form of foreplay. Come to think of it, I’ll put in a twenty right now for what I have planned.”
I squealed when he swept me off my feet and onto the bed. “Hell, if that’s the case, then I’m putting in another twenty.”
He grinned, hovering over me. “How do you feel about taking credit card payments?”
I matched his grin. “I think that can be arranged. In fact, we should probably take some time off work soon because, at this rate, Disney World, here we come.”
EPILOGUE
Ten months after I moved in and started contributing to the ‘swear jar,’ we were finally going to Disney World. It was a toss-up who was more excited about it: Tristan or Juliette.
We could have done the trip sooner, but we’d wanted Tristan to be old enough to really appreciate it, and Jules had wanted to see the place all decorated for the Christmas holiday.
“You ready to get on the road?” I asked.
Juliette smiled.
I would never grow tired of putting that expression on her beautiful face. Nor would I get tired of seeing my ring sitting comfortably on her left hand. We hadn’t set a date for the wedding yet. Instead, we’d discussed that she wouldn’t take my name until Tristan could have the same one. I more than understood. It was my hope that someday, once he was old enough to decide for himself, he’d want me to be his dad. Then they’d both take my name, enabling us to become the Hines family. It was also our plan to add to it someday. But all in good time. As it was, we were now about to go on our first of many family vacations.
Show Me Something Page 27
