by Sarah Turtle
“Don’t go,” Brynn said, devoid of emotion, which she was clearly hiding deep within herself.
“Are you ready to be open with me about what happened in there?”
Brynn stared fixedly at the counter beyond where Willa was standing and didn’t respond.
“That’s what I thought.” Willa put her hand on the door to the backyard. Her car was in the front, but she didn’t want to risk Brynn convincing her to stay. Brynn not trusting her enough to be honest with her already hurt her too much, and she wanted to get away as soon as possible. “Goodnight, Brynn,” she said before closing the door behind her.
Chapter Twenty-six
“Ow, do you have to poke at it that hard?” Willa whined.
Shannon prodded the skin as she examined the scar on Willa’s knee with scrutiny. “I have to be sure if you think that it might be infected, although I don’t see any signs of it. What were the symptoms that you told the nurse again?”
“Um, pain and swelling…”
“Does it hurt even when I’m not touching it?”
“Uh huh, sometimes…”
“It doesn’t look swollen now. It actually looks like it’s healing quite nicely.”
“Oh, well, it comes and goes.”
Shannon’s eyes narrowed as she stood and watched Willa squirm around on the exam table, causing the paper sheet to crinkle under her movements.
“If you’re concerned, then it might be best if we start you on antibiotics just to be sure.” Shannon pulled out a pad of prescription paper and began scribbling something on it.
“Antibiotics?”
“Yes. It will stop any infection that you might have, although you have to be careful of the side effects.”
“Side effects?”
“You don’t have to worry about most of them, but it is quite common for women to get yeast infections while taking them,” Shannon mentioned, handing the prescription to Willa.
Willa waved her hand at the piece of paper in rejection. “On second thought, if it looks okay to you, maybe I should pass on the antibiotics.”
Shannon eyed Willa, her expression sharp with intelligence. “Very well then,” she said as she folded the prescription in half and tucked it away in her lab coat pocket. “So, now that’s taken care of, is there anything else you needed to see me about?”
“Now that you mentioned it, since you happen to be a doctor, I did have a medical question I wanted to ask you about.”
“I thought there might be something on your mind,” Shannon said, rolling her seat closer to the exam table and tapping the lever so that it raised up to Willa’s level.
Willa played with the hem of her dress until she worked up the nerve to ask, “Are there things that might prevent a person who is a paraplegic from being able to have intercourse?”
A serious expression swept over Shannon’s face and she tapped Willa’s good knee with the bottom of her clipboard. “You know I can’t answer that.”
“I’m just asking in general, not about anyone in particular.”
“Every case is different, so much, in fact, that if I were to give you any insight at all, it would be obvious that it was tailored to the situation that you’re in. We both know whom it’s referring to and that is a serious breach of my confidentiality code. I could lose my medical license for sharing that information.”
“It was wrong of me to ask that of you, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come to see you. My leg is fine.”
Willa started to get down from the table, but Shannon placed her hand on her arm to hold her back. “Wait a minute. Just because I can’t divulge certain information doesn’t mean that I can’t help you with some advice. Tell me what happened.”
Willa struggled to come up with a way to explain what she perceived had taken place the previous night without sharing the personal details of their time together. “Brynn wants to be with me, but she won’t let me reciprocate back in the same way. It terrifies me to think that something I don’t even remember doing twenty years ago may have caused her the inability to be intimate with someone...” her voice began to crack, “especially me.”
“Without seeming too vague, I can promise that what you are specifically worried about is not an issue. Now, I’m not saying that there aren’t going to be things that you will need to do differently than in an able-bodied relationship, but the biggest hurdle for the two of you is the communication that has to happen beforehand.”
“She didn’t open up to me when I asked, even afterwards.” Willa wiped away a trickle of tears that had run down her cheek. “And the worst part is that I walked out on her because of it. She might not ever want to talk to me again at this point.”
Shannon handed her a tissue. “Go find Brynn and see if she’d be willing to come back here with you. I could facilitate a medical conversation with the both of you so that you might get a better understanding of what her needs are for a sexual relationship to occur between you.”
Willa’s face scrunched up in anguish. “I think I’d have better luck getting her to go to a ballet dance with me.”
Shannon snickered as she tried to hold back a laugh.
“At least you think my situation is amusing,” Willa stated smugly.
“Oh, Willa, I’m laughing because what you don’t see is that the two of you know each other so well that it has put a barrier up between you. You are taking what was once an innocent childhood friendship and jumping to an adult physical relationship; there are bound to be insecure moments for both of you, but you’ll get through it. Just talk to her.”
Soon after leaving the clinic, with Shannon’s advice still fresh in her mind, Willa searched the fitness center, determined to at least make plans with Brynn to talk. Once again, she found herself roaming from room to room on a hunt for Brynn, only to come across random people in the midst of their workout routines. When she entered the basketball court, she got her hopes up at the sound of someone located at the far end of the room.
Willa had almost reached the end of the bleachers, when Cassidy stood up after retrieving a stray ball from under the stands. She came to an abrupt stop, her heels squealing on the smooth surface, but it was too late to turn back, because Cassidy had already caught sight of Willa and was rapidly approaching her.
“Brynn is a fucking mess today and I know you’re to blame, so it would be in your best interest to walk out now before you make things worse.”
For a split second, Willa almost did what Cassidy asked, but something held her frozen to the spot. “There was a time when you and Brynn were a couple, right?” Willa averted her eyes to the floor, not daring to make eye contact with Cassidy.
“Yes, until you got in the way of things.”
Willa momentarily forgot her fear as it turned to confusion. “According to Brynn, that was years ago. How could I have possibly gotten in the way?”
“We went to the movies to see that ridiculous children’s story you wrote about teenagers that turn into owls at nighttime.”
Willa held in a smirk as she watched Cassidy get exasperated while trying to describe her film. “The first one?” She asked for clarification.
Cassidy’s face turned red with frustration. “Yeah, I guess. Why does it matter?”
“Because there were nine movies in the series. It might be essential to the story you’re telling me to know which one you’re referring to.”
Cassidy’s irritation level rose to a new level as evident by the way she was seemingly crushing the basketball between her hands, so Willa decided to back down and let her finish without interruption.
“During the movie at the part when that girl got her wings for the first time, I looked over and there were tears in Brynn’s eyes.”
Willa waited long enough to make sure that Cassidy was done talking, and so that she could decipher what she meant by it. “It was a kind of emotional part of the movie, don’t you think?”
“Maybe for a ten-year-old, but we’re talking about Brynn, who cries as
often as a brick might.”
“Okay, I agree with you on that, but how did that ruin your relationship with her?”
“Because it became painfully clear to me then that if the only thing that could move her to tears was something you wrote, then there was no chance that I could ever compete with you.”
“If you’ve come to terms with that and moved on, why do you keep chasing me away from her?”
“Because I’m the one left behind to deal with her pain when you decide to go back to your Hollywood lifestyle and leave her again.” Cassidy turned and started towards the rack to put the basketball away.
“Wait, please…” Willa called after her. “I promise I’ll never leave her, not like I did before, anyway.”
Cassidy’s head drooped and she turned back to Willa, turning the ball over in her hands and testing it for air pressure. “It would destroy her if you did.”
“None of my other relationships ever worked out, and I believe it’s because in my heart I was always waiting to come back to her. I guess I never believed that she would accept me into her life again,” Willa openly confessed what she had held in for so long. She assumed it came so easily because Cassidy was quite possibly the only other person who had ever cared for Brynn the way that she did.
“I’m glad you made amends for her sake, but something must have happened between you two. She’s so upset that I sent her to the office because I was afraid that she might puncture the heavy bag with her fist.”
“I’m trying to fix what happened.” Willa sighed, thinking that asking Cassidy for help was simultaneously the worst idea and her only hope. “Can you please tell me why she won’t let me get close to her physically?”
Cassidy’s body stiffened and she violently shook her head. “It’s not my place to tell you what to do in bed.”
“Please, Cass, you’re the only one I know that has been with her in that way and I think she’s embarrassed to talk to me about it.” Willa’s shoulders dropped and she added softly, “I just want to make her happy without having to force her into a conversation that I know she’s too proud to have.”
“Fine, I’ll let you in on what the problem is, for Brynn’s sake.” Cassidy stepped in closer to Willa and lowered her voice. “Spur of the moment lovemaking doesn’t work well for her because she needs time prior to sex to empty her bladder. If she doesn’t, it could mean the possibility of an accident, which you can imagine is quite embarrassing for her.”
Willa’s face lit up for the first time all day. “That’s it, I mean, everything else works the way it should?”
Cassidy raised her eyebrows at the overly excited woman in front of her. “Yeah, you didn’t break that part of her, at least.”
Willa glared at her, but she was too elated to dwell on the jab that she had thrown at her. “You are a life saver,” Willa announced before stretching up and leaving a kiss on Cassidy’s cheek.
Cassidy cringed and wiped the lipstick mark off her face with the back of her hand before Willa took off in a hurry, out the double doors of the basketball court.
Chapter Twenty-seven
Willa came to a halt outside of the front desk area so that she could straighten out her summer dress and run her fingers through the length of her hair before opening the door to the office. Brynn looked up as she entered, but Willa could tell by her bewildered look that she hadn’t expected her to be the one to walk in.
Cassidy had been right; Brynn didn’t appear to be her usual tough self. She sat low in her wheelchair and an air of exhaustion loomed over her. She looked as though she didn’t sleep at all the previous night. Willa knew that when Brynn shifted to a more upright position, and flashed a cordial smile, that it was a fake show for pride’s sake.
“After you left, I realized that I probably made it seem like I had used you for some sort of entertainment for myself. I can’t even imagine how that must have made you feel. I’ve been ashamed of myself for that since you left last night,” Brynn rambled off rapidly. She might have continued on, but Willa approached her and laid a soft kiss on her lips and then pulled back to stare warmly at her face.
“You did absolutely nothing wrong. We both shared a wonderful moment that made me feel so amazing. It was my own self-conscious mind that made more out of it than I should have, and now I want to make up for it by showing you the same attention back.”
Brynn’s eyes narrowed as she searched her face, but Willa wasn’t going to give up any answers so easily. Willa’s plan was one that Brynn needed to experience, not discuss. She started by flipping up the brakes on the wheelchair. Brynn’s fingers twitched and she reached to take control of the wheels. Willa could see that she was masking the distress of not being in control, so she swiftly guided her through the doorway into the bathroom, before she could change her mind. Working quickly, she locked the door behind them, then slipped out of her dress, bra, and underwear, carelessly tossing the articles of clothing aside on the floor.
Brynn’s eyes were locked onto Willa, as she used her own body as a distraction to make Brynn feel more at ease with what was to come. Willa took each of Brynn’s hands and leaned down to place them on each one of her breasts while she stole a long kiss from her lips. When she was satisfied that Brynn was more relaxed than before, she reached down to the bottom of her shirt to raise it up, exposing her stomach.
The expected immediate response to stop her came when the warmth of Brynn’s hand left Willa’s breast and pushed her shirt back down. “I can’t,” Brynn insisted.
Willa took Brynn’s hands in hers and demanded her attention with her eyes. “I know you won’t admit that this scares the hell out of you, please understand that it does me too, but I’d like you to trust me enough to let me try something with you.”
Willa could feel the tremors of unease shake below the surface of Brynn’s skin, but still, she gave her consent with a nod of her head. With her permission, Willa was able to remove her shirt and sports bra with ease. She would have liked to spend some time giving attention to the perfectly shaped breasts that she released, but she knew there was a time frame that she had to work with in order to gain Brynn’s trust in her. She moved on to sliding her shorts and underwear off with the help of Brynn lifting her body weight up off her legs.
Before Brynn could protest, she guided her through the doorway of the shower and tapped her hand on the seat in the center. Brynn followed her visual instruction to move onto the seat and Willa pushed her empty wheelchair back out and closed the shower door.
A startled look swept over Brynn’s face over the separation of what was essentially an extension of her own body. Willa realized that when Brynn was alone in the shower, she must have her chair within reach of herself, and to see it so far away must’ve been terrifying. “I’m here,” she assured her with a fleeting kiss on her way to the shower faucets. She averted the showerheads until the temperature was comfortable, and then eased them to a low pressure so that a gentle mist sprayed them both.
When she looked to Brynn to see if the atmosphere was acceptable to her, she noticed that she was being perused with an unrelenting lust. Willa decided to turn the act of tying her hair up into a little show for Brynn as she swayed her hips while swooping her long blonde curls up into a manageable cluster at the back of her head and into a hair tie. When she got close enough for Brynn to reach out for her, a pair of strong hands pulled her near, in a ravenous need to touch her.
As much as Willa wanted to explore the body that she had finally uncovered, this was also about pleasing Brynn and if she desired Willa, then she wouldn’t deny her that pleasure. Willa lifted one of her long legs up and placed her foot on the tiled armrest. She reached between her legs, situated a finger along either side of her clit so that it was fully exposed and used her other hand to guide Brynn’s mouth directly on it.
After a few minutes, Willa was fighting with herself to stay upright for as long as she could. She wanted to melt into Brynn’s arms, but she didn’t dare move, yearning
not to break away from the pulsing of Brynn’s tongue against her. As if Brynn was reading her mind, Brynn lifted Willa’s raised leg and took on the weight of it over her shoulder, making it easier to balance.
Willa took advantage of the new position to rub her hands the length of Brynn’s neck. Her fingers dug into the hard muscles with a matching motion of Brynn’s fingers sliding in and out of her. When her body shook with her orgasm, she moved down to straddle Brynn’s lap and held Brynn’s head tightly to her chest. The comfort of pressing her face against the top of Brynn’s head while running her fingers through her short hair had a calming sensation that she had spent years searching for in objects and now found in a person. Brynn had always been the solid foundation that kept her grounded and it felt good to have her back again.
Willa cupped Brynn’s face in her hands and lifted it so that she could look into the hauntingly bright blue eyes that made her skin ripple out in goose bumps despite the warm water beading down on them. “I think it’s safe to assume that there’s enough water coming down on us that if you needed to, we wouldn’t even notice if an accident were to occur, right?”
Brynn closed her eyes and let out a shaky breath before opening them again. A quiet, “Yeah,” was all that came out.
Willa kissed her while dropping one hand down to circle Brynn’s nipple with her finger. When she glanced down to witness the hard point that she had created, she smiled at the stark contrast of her light skin against the dark bronze of Brynn’s skin. She stepped down to the floor of the shower and carefully lifted each one of Brynn’s legs to separate them. Brynn’s face feigned a slight smile, but Willa could tell that she was covering up for the insecurity of her legs, thin and lacking muscle from years of not being able to use them. Willa made a point of caressing the length of them sensually with her gaze to show that she thought they were equally as beautiful as the rest of her.
