by Lee Kilraine
“Should we wait for your dad to get home in case he wants to help?”
“He won’t want to help.” HL looked up from where he stood bent over the box with his hands resting on his knees.
Heather bit her bottom lip as she ran a finger along a branch, looking unsure.
The look on Heather’s face had Nora second guessing herself. What the heck did she know about kids? Kids who’d lost a mother no less? This suddenly seemed like something Hawk should help decide. “You know, let’s wait.”
Heather shook her head. “HL’s right. Dad won’t want to help.”
So they dug into the box. Without directions it was a bit of a challenge to put together. At one point HL threw his hands in the air. “I give up. Let’s wait for Dad.”
“You can’t quit just because it’s hard, HL. When things get hard is the exact time to double down and keep going.”
Not that Nora didn’t feel his frustration. The colored tips of each branch’s insertion point, the ones that were supposed to clue them in to where the branch should go, were long faded.
“What if we sort the branches into piles by size and then start inserting them at the bottom from biggest to smallest?” Heather lifted two branches to compare sizes. “See? They’re very different.”
“That sounds like a great plan.”
When they finally slid in the last branch, they stood back to look.
Frowning at the tree, HL said, “It’s too pink.”
“It’s pretty.” Nora stood back to get a good look, a bit worried Heather hadn’t said anything. “And it’s pre-lit which makes decorating easier.”
“Ornaments next!” HL announced.
They were just opening the box when Hawk walked in. Nora stopped what she was doing to appreciate him in his uniform for the second time that day. Something swirled deep in her stomach at the sight of him. His well-muscled chest and his woodsy scent with a touch of fresh cold winter air grabbed her attention—until she realized he’d frozen in place when his gaze landed on the tree.
“Daddy! We put the tree up!” HL ran to his dad, then grabbed him by the hand and pulled him over.
“I see.” Hawk finally pulled his gaze from the tinsel tree and over to his daughter.
Over the next half hour, Nora watched Heather go from quiet to quieter. It had started slowly because the first ornaments they added were simple sets of pink, aqua, and silver balls.
But as the ornaments became more personalized—more meaningful—her lips flattened out and her movements stiffened. HL was full of questions. Heather stayed quiet, carefully handling each ornament as if she’d never seen it before, taking her time to hang it gingerly on a branch before stepping back with a frown.
“Here’s a picture of Mommy!” HL stared down at the small frame ornament in his hand. “Daddy, can you lift me up so I can put it high up?”
“Sure, buddy.” He scooped him up in one strong arm like he was lifting a feather pillow.
“Got it. That was the last one.” As soon as HL was on his own feet again, he backed up to get a good look, squinting one eye at it. “It still looks like a girl tree, even with all the ornaments.”
Nora imagined a pink tree wasn’t necessarily cool for an eight-year-old boy.
“I’m going to read in my bedroom.” Heather stared at the tree one last time before leaving the room.
Hawk frowned as his eyes followed her.
“Dad, can you take a picture of me with the tree on your phone? I want to send it to Jordy. He’ll never believe we have a tree if I don’t send him a picture.”
“Sure.” Hawk snapped two photos, then handed his phone to HL who raced from the room.
And then it was just Nora, Hawk, and the tree. Hawk huffed out a breath and shoved his hands in his pockets. His gaze landed back on the tree. The clenching muscle in his square jaw was a clear sign that she’d messed up. Nora’s stomach twisted picturing Heather’s somber face as she’d escaped to her room.
“Okay, I apologize. I overstepped. But you were the one who told us to look in the attic for the decorations.” Nora knew she was stooping low to blame Hawk, but the guilt stung like lemon juice on a cut.
His gaze slid to her but he stayed silent.
“The kids said you guys never really decorated a tree and HL and I thought it would be nice. That’s all. I never meant to bring up sad memories or upset Heather or get you”—her hand fluttered in his direction—“whatever it is you are. I’m not sure. Angry? Devastated? Heartbroken? I’m really sorry.”
She hurried from the room without waiting for a response.
Hawk stared after her and released a slow, shaky breath because the hell of it was, he didn’t know what he was any more than Nora. Standing in front of the tinsel tree that he hadn’t seen since the year Holly died, he thought he’d feel different. He’d thought the sight of it and the memories it held would grab him by the throat and cut off his breath. It hadn’t.
Instead his heart had stuttered, just for a second, like tripping on a throw rug, but then it had eased back into its normal rhythm. No, the pain came when he’d seen Heather’s sad, serious face. Holly had been gone for seven years, and he wasn’t sure what else to do for his daughter. Could a father even step up and fill the void of a missing mother? Should he even try?
He wasn’t happy that Nora had put up the tree without checking with him first. But then the Nora he knew had always jumped feet first into life. She was right too. He’d told her to look in the attic. The pain and regret on Nora’s face told him she’d never in a million years have wanted to hurt Heather.
This wasn’t really about Nora anyway. How would he expect her to know the right thing to do for his daughter when he didn’t? And, as sad as it made Heather, it had brought joy to HL. A parent’s painful Catch 22 and poor Nora was caught in the middle of it.
He walked down to Heather’s room but her light was out. Probably better that she have some time to herself anyway. Hell, he could kick himself for blowing the whole thing up out of proportion. He’d even decided this year he’d try to get into the Christmas spirit for the kids, and what did he do instead? Turned into Scrooge at the sight of the tree.
Hell, Hawk hadn’t even taken the time to compliment HL and Nora on the outside decorations. He’d pulled up to the house and actually laughed out loud at the over-the-top display. It was like something you’d see in Times Square. It was so HL. Somehow Nora had delivered HL’s dream.
Hawk took a shower and propped himself up in bed to read a couple chapters in the latest Jack Reacher novel before turning out his own light. Light leaked in under his door. Hell, he’d left the tree lights on.
With a sigh, he climbed from bed to unplug the Christmas lights. Except when he got to the family room, Heather was curled up on the couch staring at the tree.
“You okay, kiddo?”
“Yeah.”
He sat down next to her on the couch angled so he could see her face. “Look, Nora said she was sorry about the tree. She never wanted to make you sad. It was my fault—I should have brought the box of extension cords down so—”
“Dad, I’m okay.”
He lowered his head until he looked directly into her eyes. “I saw your face, Heather.”
“At first it did make me feel sad.” She pulled her gaze from his and over to the tree. “But sitting here, looking at the ornaments, I feel closer to mom.”
Well, that was good. He searched her face, waiting.
“But it also made me realize I’m tired of being sad. I mean, I’ll always miss her, but it’s been seven years, and I don’t want to be sad anymore.”
Hawk scooted next to her, wrapping his arm around her shoulders, pulling her up close to his side. He tucked her head under his chin and they sat together staring at the delicate lights on the pink tinsel branches. “I know what you mean.”
“Dad… Maybe it’s time for a new tree.”
Time for a new tree.
She peered up at him. “We could donate this one so it can brighten up someone else’s Christmas. Maybe someone who doesn’t have money for decorations.”
He waited for the inevitable crushing in his chest, the one that felt like his heart was being run through a trash compactor, but it didn’t come. Instead, it felt more like a release. Like he was able to expand his lungs fully for the first time in seven years.
“You’re pretty special, Heather, you know that? Your mom would have liked the idea a lot.”
Chapter Eight
Kissin’ by the Mistletoe
Just because he didn’t have to go into work, didn’t mean his inner alarm clock hadn’t gone off bright and early. Everyone in the department was finally flu-free so they were trying to get back to the regular schedule. He’d always enjoyed the tranquility of the morning just before the kids got up. Heather might be a quiet one, but HL could talk an elephant’s ears off.
He used the morning to pay bills and do a load of laundry. He made a half pot of coffee and braved the cold morning to snag the paper from the driveway while it brewed. Damn, it was cold. It had to be twenty degrees colder than normal. One quick look at the overcast, gray sky made him believe for once maybe the forecasters were correct and they would get that ice they’d been excited about for days now.
After a cup of coffee while glancing through the sports section, he set to work on his special banana pancakes. The sweet smell was enough to entice his sleeping kids awake most mornings.
And like bees to a flower they entered the kitchen. First Heather who had a book in her hand and looked wide awake as if she’d already been up for awhile. HL was only a few minutes behind her wiping sleep from his eyes, wearing his new “big kid” bed attire, and dragging his Ninja Squirrel behind him. He was just setting them up at the counter with the first batch of pancakes when Nora shuffled in and stumbled onto the stool next to HL.
Her long, sun-kissed caramel colored hair was a sexy disheveled mess as if she had yet to run a brush through it since waking up. Her cheeks were softly pink and her eyelids still heavy with sleep. She wore a long-sleeved T-shirt that read “Play Hard, Get Sandy” along with baggie athletic shorts.
She stared at him with grumpy, accusatory eyes and an old memory drifted up. When they’d dated in high school, he’d picked her up most mornings so they could have time together before school started. It had taken her ten minutes to get from half asleep and grouchy to the usually upbeat and full of life Nora he’d fallen for.
“Still not a morning person?” He grinned across the island at her before pouring her a cup of coffee and sliding it carefully across the counter into her space. Next he slid over the milk and sugar bowl and just for fun checked the clock to see if his Nora had changed all that much.
Wait. He didn’t mean his Nora. He meant the Nora he’d known before. A long time ago before, Hawk, don’t you forget it.
Nora wrapped her hands around her mug, taking a long sip that ended on a soft moan that shot straight to his groin. Shit, he remembered feeling damn proud when he’d drawn moans like that from her the many times they’d made out. He turned around quickly and kept busy at the stove until he got himself under control.
“Morning, Heather. Morning, HL.” Her husky voice behind him wasn’t helping. “Do I need to bribe your dad to get some pancakes too?”
Oh, he was open to bribes. Although not a great thought to pop into his head, not with his kids sitting right there.
“Pancakes coming up,” he said, lifting them from the griddle and onto plates for each of them. Passing a plate across to Nora, he topped off both of their coffee cups before sitting at the counter to eat.
“Wow, these are good. You kids are lucky.” She ate another bite, taking her time and closing her eyes in enjoyment.
Hawk couldn’t tear his gaze from her face until one of his kid’s voices finally broke through his moment of insanity.
“Daddy, Aunt Georgie called yesterday,” HL said, hopping down from the counter to clear his plate.
“What’d she say?” He added another pancake to his empty plate.
HL shrugged. “I don’t remember, except something about cookies.”
“Huh, okay, well, I’ll give her a call while everyone’s getting dressed.” Hawk cleared all the other plates over to the sink. “Heather, was there something special you wanted to do today?”
“Not really.” Heather slid off her stool. “Thanks for breakfast, Dad. I’ll go get dressed.”
“Race you!” HL yelled and darted out of the room.
Heather rolled her eyes before leaving at her steady if a bit gangly pace.
“Guess I’ll get dressed too. The pancakes were great. I usually drink a green shake with protein powder.”
“Sounds awful.”
“Well, it’s not banana pancakes, that’s for sure. But if I hold my nose and drink it down, it’s almost… No, it’s bad. I won’t miss them at all.” She gave a quick shudder. “Okay, off to grab a shower and dress. Oh! Maybe you’d rather have the kids to yourself. I’m sorry, I didn’t think.”
“Nora, go. We’ll all decide what to do once everyone’s dressed.”
He watched her leave, trying not to stare at her amazing ass and legs. He failed. Of course he was being an idiot. Hell, she traveled the world, socialized with world class athletes and celebrities, and she’d be gone from Climax and his life the day after Christmas. Damn, he shouldn’t have turned down the police sergeant with the Raleigh P.D. who’d offered a night of hot, no-strings-attached sex four months back.
“Hey, Hawk! Sorry I’m late!” His sister’s voice rang out from the foyer and he went to investigate.
“What are you doing here?”
“Well, it’s nice to see you too. Your brotherly affection is so sweet.”
“You know I tolerate you.” Leaning in, he planted a kiss on her cheek. He and his sister had always been close, but they’d grown even more so after Holly had passed away. There was no way he’d have made it without Georgie’s support. “Seriously, why are you here?”
“I’m picking up the kids for our annual shop, bake, and Christmas movie night sleepover with Aunt Georgie.” She crossed her arms over her chest and frowned up at him. “We talked about it two weeks ago. I took the day off for it like I do every year. I love this day.”
Right. They had talked about it. And he knew his kids loved their annual day of Christmas prep with Georgie too. “Damn, I forgot that was today. I guess between the flu and Nora here, I got my days mixed up. I have the day off today.”
“Goodness, whatever will you do…?” His sister’s eyes twinkled up at him. “Ooh, I know! You could turn it into date night for you and Nora.”
Hawk shoved his hands into his jean pockets. “She’s a Rent-A-Mom, Georgie. Practically the kids’ nanny. A temporary one, I might add.”
“No. She’s a gorgeous woman you used to have a thing for. Who used to have a thing for you. And once upon a time she used to live here. It’s practically a fairy tale in the making.” Georgie punched him in the shoulder. “What’s to say she can’t move back for good?”
“Common sense? She’s got a career in California. She’s training for the next Olympics and predicted to bring home the gold this time. She isn’t coming back to Climax, and I refuse to set my kids up to be hurt when she leaves. Hell, HL’s already bonding with her.”
Georgie raised her eyebrows. “Your son is bonding with a nice woman you actually like. How is this a bad thing?”
“Did you tune out when I mentioned she travels the world and has a career all the way on the other side of the country?” He huffed out a breath.
“Okay, you have a point.” His bratty little sister gazed up at the ceiling and tapped a finger to her chin. “If onl
y there were a way someone could travel across the country in a few hours.”
“You think you’re cute, don’t you, Georgie. It’s not that easy.”
“Oh! I heard about this thing—it’s called the World Wide Web—although some people call it the internet. Anyhow, it’s this new thing, I mean like probably only thirty years old now, and it keeps people connected no matter where they are.” She leaned in closer and whispered, “It’s like magic.”
“Very funny.”
“Seriously, Hawk, Sijan Cates travels the world and makes movies in Hollywood and he manages to live here and have a family.”
“It’s less than ideal.”
“Ah.” She pinned him with her gaze. “Is it though? Is there such a thing as an ‘ideal’ relationship?”
“Georgie—”
“I think every relationship has its challenges. Even what you had with Holly. No relationship is perfect.”
He ran a hand down his face, trying to decide the quickest way to end this conversation. Somehow, even just being around Nora for the few days she’d been here, this subject he’d been staring in the face for years now, had been suddenly turned with new facets to examine.
“The longer you stay single, the more I’m wondering if it’s about you and not the kids.” He opened his mouth to deny it, but she cut him off. “I’m not done. I think you’re afraid. Afraid to fall in love again because of how much it hurt losing Holly.”
No fucking shit. His gut clenched. “Georgie—”
“Hey, I’m single. Trust me, I know what a war zone the dating pool can be.” She reached out, giving his forearm a squeeze. “All I’m saying is this might be a golden opportunity. You two really liked each other.”
“Fourteen years ago. Life happens and people change.”
She shook her head. “Not at their core. You cared for her. Maybe at least see if there’s still something between you. More than sex, that is. Although, there’s nothing wrong with good sex with someone you like and trust either.”
“I’m not discussing my sex life with my little sister.”
Georgie grinned. “Fine. We’ll talk about mine.”
