“There’s not one person in the world he’d want to talk to and you know why,” Ashley says as she stops mixing the ingredients to the cookies. I’d imagine it would be pretty difficult to go to a therapist and discuss things when almost everything you do is considered illegal or a criminal act.
“Trust me, I do. But I also see Kat has a point. He lost two of the most important people in his life on the same day and even more than that, the loss of his club alone was catastrophic. Losing Cracker and Saffron was hard on all of us, but your Dad . . . I don’t know if he’ll ever be the same if he doesn’t go and talk to somebody, Ash.”
She takes in a deep breath and bows her head over her kitchen island, looking defeated as all hell. “I understand where you’re both coming from, but you two aren’t the ones trying to have conversations with him right now. Blackjack, Zane, and I are all trying. Every day we try to get him to do something different. Even if its as small as taking a shower, or changing clothes, or even if we can get him to wash that damn robe of his. I’ll take anything as a victory right now, because I don’t know if I’ll ever get him back, Hawk. And I feel like a cunt for saying this, but I want my father back. I don’t think he’ll go to therapy because of the type of man he is, but I need to accept that these losses have changed him. Who the hell knows. He might actually go.”
“You’re exactly right. He may go, but the one important thing to remember is that you won’t know until you try.”
“Yep, you’re right. I’ll give it a go and see what I can do.”
“Awesome, now text your cousin and tell her that. I don’t think Kat likes to admit when she’s worryin’, but somethin’ tells me she hasn’t stopped since the moment she heard what happened.”
Ashley nods once. “Yeah, well, if she has been, I’m glad I’m not alone.”
I walk around the island to a woman I’ve known for years and view as a sister myself, wrap my arms around her, and hold her tight. “You’re never alone, and remember we all want your Dad to get better. None of us are givin’ up on him. Okay?”
Ashley takes in a deep breath, and as she releases the air she held in her chest she speaks. “Thank you, Hawk. I really needed to hear that.”
24
The best things happen unexpectedly
~ Unknown
Hawk
I ended up gettin' stopped at Ashley’s doors by two of the most intimidating people I’ve ever met in my entire life. These two crossed their arms and gave me the meanest sneers on the planet as they looked up at me, demanding my presence to eat some cookies with them. Sydney and Noelle are pretty hard to say no to. Hell, if I ever have kids and one of them turns out to be a girl, I’ll be royally fucked. But really I’m a sucker with any children. I don’t ever discipline them, say no, or really do anything considered adult-like.
It's how I ended up realizing it was five minutes past eight and I’m late for my date with Raven. We don’t get alone time very often so I’m not going to fuck up the opportunity that presented itself.
“Girls, I’m sorry but I gotta go. Raven is waiting for me,” I tell Sydney and Noelle, but Ashley giggles from the chaise on the other end of the couch. I started watching the Stitch rip-off too. Honestly, it’s nothing like that so I was wrong for judging the movie before I watched it. We’re only halfway through and part of me wants to stay ‘cause these kids are too damn adorable when they beg with their eyes, but I’ll be having another woman beggin’ for somethin’ else tonight and that’s too sweet to pass up.
“Ugh, really?” Sydney whines.
“I don’t want you to go!” Noelle further comments.
Ashley rises from her chaise and smirks. “Now ladies, Hawk has obligations and needs to get going. He stayed here with us for far past what he came here to. We need to tell him how grateful we are he spent some time with us out of his very hectic schedule.”
Sydney nods whereas Noelle huffs, but I’m sure that’s from her age.
“Thank you again, ladies. I had a great time, and before I leave to go back to Vegas, I’m gonna say we have a party and watch cartoons all day!”
“Yeah!” both of the girls yell, grinning like I’m Santa on Christmas morning. Fuck, kids really do get the best of me.
“Great. Do I need to walk you out or do you know the way?” Ashley asks, probably already knowing the answer.
“I appreciate the offer, but I can figure out how to get to the front door.” I chuckle as I rise and head toward the front of the house. I place my hand on the knob, pull the door, and come face-to-face with three people in full tactical gear. From the looks of it, they’re all wearing black and ATF is plastered on the front center of their vests.
Instinctively, I want to grab my gun but know better. If I do, I’m essentially a dead man. “Now, Blake Nash, what are you doing up here? Last we knew, you were down in Las Vegas.” I wanna cringe hearing my name but the law always uses it. No way in hell will they ever call us by our road names. Instead, whenever they decide to pay a visit, they are extremely formal.
“I was until I decided to fly up and see how everyone was doin’,” I respond, looking the curvy brunette right in the eyes as I speak. She has these eyes that say a thousand words. It’s funny how I can tell from one look at her that she’s not the type to fuck around with. This here is the type of woman who will chew you up and spit you out like her life depends on it.
“How thoughtful of you. I’m Agent Amanda Williams with ATF, obviously. We’ve come here to speak with the Monroes, specifically Lloyd and Ashley. However, since you’re here I can’t allow you to leave.”
Jesus Christ. This woman doesn’t know just how bad her timing is.
“Are you even allowed to tell me I can’t leave?” I ask, waiting for an answer.
“According to my boss, I can do whatever I want. Although, I think you’ll want to stick around. You see, speaking with me won’t be a bad thing at all.”
“It won’t?” I say it more like a question because the one other time ATF was sniffin’ around, it wasn’t good. We were on lockdown, hidin’ everything we could in case they showed up out of nowhere. When they didn’t, we thought we did all that extra work for nothin’ but now I know it’s good we did.
“No, I’m not here for any of you or your brothers. However, we do have a common enemy. I’d really prefer to get inside with my team before we start discussing the nitty-gritty stuff,” she finishes on the end with a smile.
Normally, I’d have no problem lettin’ her in, but there are kids here. In my opinion, there are certain things kids don’t need to overhear or know about. “We have kids in the house, Agent Williams. Can we talk about this anywhere else?”
She chuckles softly. “We could discuss this in a federal office, although I highly doubt any of you want to be seen walking into one. We all know the repercussions of that.” Okay, so I was wrong. This is the type of woman who rips people apart.
“Goodness gracious, Hawk must’ve forgotten to shut the front door. It’s freezing in here!” I hear Ashley mutter as her footsteps grow closer. I turn so I can make sure she sees me before the ATF agents. Lord knows this girl will freak the fuck out if she sees their vests first thing.
“Ashley,” I start off in a calm tone.
“Did you forget something? Shit, Hawk. Shut the damn door. I don’t want either of the kids getting a cold, or worse, the flu.
Instead of allowing me to ease Ashley into what’s happening, Agent Williams shoves me aside and approaches Ashley. “Ashley Monroe . . . in the flesh. Man, how some of my colleagues would kill to see you right now. You’re a legend around our parts, sweetheart. I apologize for allowing a chill to run through your house. You see, Blake here was just on the way out when I got to your door. As I explained to him, I need to speak to you, your husband, and your father. Blake can stay, considering I won’t allow him to leave.”
“What? You can’t do that. You even said you only need to speak to me, Rob, and my Dad,” Ashley argues, furrowing
her brows in frustration.
Agent Williams lets out a giggle, the type you hear a tough girl in the park do before she schools someone’s ass. “Allow me to rephrase. I’m not going to allow Blake here to fuck up my ongoing investigation. As I explained to him, I’m not here for any of you. We do have a common enemy and we’re here to discuss that. Now, where are your husband and father?”
“They’re at my father’s house,” Ashley says as she looks to me with a bit of uncertainty.
“Great, so call them up and get the two of them over here,” Agent Williams responds, walking into Ashley’s house with two of her team. What she doesn’t realize is getting Fist here won’t be the easiest task in the world.
25
I understood myself only after I had destroyed myself. And only in the process of fixing myself, did I know who I really was.
~ Sade Andria Zabala
Hawk
“Agent Williams, would you be opposed if I send a text to my girlfriend and tell her I’m going to be late? You can even read it before I send it through.” Ashley was able to call Blackjack as long as it was on speakerphone and give him a rundown of why it was so important that he get Fist up here.
Agent Williams opens her jaw and cackles like I’ve just told her the funniest story on planet Earth. “You are all supposed to be a group of badass bikers and all I’ve seen since I walked in here are pussy bitches.”
I’ll put up with a lot of shit, except what she just said. I’m not trying to go off on someone who works for the government, but I sure as fuck will if I feel a certain way. “I think there’s a huge misconception about our lifestyle these days. While some of us may treat our women with respect, others don’t and it gives us a bad reputation. I asked because I was being polite. Now I’m just going to text her and inform her club business is keepin’ me busy and I’ll see her when I get back to Fist’s house,” I grumble out, taking my phone from the back of my jeans, I shoot off a quick text to Raven, who will no doubt slaughter me alive regardless.
Ashley asked the girls to go to their room and watch a movie in there. Noelle didn’t care because her mom let her take popcorn and candy in, which I’m gathering is a huge no-no in this household. On the other hand, Sydney acted like a teenager even though she’s only twelve and rolled her eyes. She obviously knew there was some deep adult shit about to go down. If I could choose, I’d rather be in their room watchin’ cartoons, eatin’ some of that freshly made popcorn and candy.
“When do you think your husband and father will be here?” Agent Williams asks, sitting on the chaise, staring Ashley down. Hell, if she didn’t put Blackjack on speaker, I doubt she’d think Ashley even called him.
“Any minute now,” Ashley replies.
Since the kids went into their bedroom and Dex is buried deep in the world of videogaming, the entire house is pretty silent. So silent we hear the front door open and two sets of footsteps coming in. One of Agent Williams’s team members raises their gun and Ashley starts shittin’ herself. “You’d sure as hell better lower your weapon or we won’t help you with shit. You wanted my husband and father, well, I got them here. You never said anything about pointing loaded weapons at either of them.”
“There have been far too many times where I’ve been fucked over by individuals who said they were going to do what I asked. It’s just a precaution, honey. As soon as they show their faces, I’ll tell my man to lower his weapon. Don’t worry your pretty little head.”
“Anyone want to tell me what in the hell is going on here?” I haven’t heard Fist scream like this since before the club burned down. He’s in his robe, which I figured would happen, but he must look like he’s playin’ the part of a grumpy old man in a movie to Agent Williams here.
“Hello, Fist.” Agent Williams rises, scanning her eyes over Fist’s body. “I didn’t realize you’d . . . already be ready for bed. Naturally, I assumed you would be up.”
Fist grumbles out a reply to her.
Blackjack is directly next to him and from the expression on his face, I think he wants to move. “Oh, fuck. I’m going to throw up.” Ashley hops off the couch and runs to the nearest door, slams it behind her, and we’re all subject to hearing her vomit her guts out.
“Did she take her phone?” One of Williams’s team asks, lookin’ on the couch where Ashley was sittin’.
“Dammit, she did! Someone go in there,” Williams orders, but Blackjack puts his hand on the agent’s chest, causing him to stop.
He looks at Agent Williams and her two men directly in their eyes. “The three of you will leave my wife the hell alone. She is not in there notifying members of our club about your arrival like you think. She’s pregnant and I’m sure as you all know, scents are a trigger to get nauseous and throw up.”
Agent Williams shifts her lips in the form of an ‘o’. “What caused her to vomit?” she asks as soon as she gets closer to Fist and immediately backs up. “Whoa. Okay. Now I know.” Agent Williams coughs a couple of times and decides to walk back to the couch where she was.
Blackjack pulls out a stool at the kitchen island for Fist and asks him to sit there while he checks on Ashley. Thankfully she’s not vomiting anymore and comes out of the bathroom but opts to sit on the windowsill in case she gets a bout of nausea again.
“So, what have you come here to discuss with us?” Ashley inquires, a little aggravated after emptying her stomach contents.
“I’ll cut straight to the point because quite frankly I don’t want to be in this house for longer than necessary. Your father smells like rotten flesh.” After making a disgusted face, she continues on, “It’s no secret your club has a war with the Bears MC. They’ve caused you a lot of grief over the years and while your father was able to have a somewhat successful truce for a few years, everyone discovered Grizzly was never really honoring that agreement. He tried to fuck over not only your father but your club for years. So much so that he had one of his men marry you under an alternate identity.”
Ashley stands up from where she was sitting, “Uh, I’m sorry . . . what?”
Agent Williams keeps her eyes on Ashley. “I assumed you knew who you married. I mean, not at first, but you never figured it out?” For the first time tonight, we’re getting new information. There’s obviously something we’re all missing right now.
“I married Harry,” Ashley mutters, her tone proving she’s unsure.
“No, you didn’t. You married Fynn Müller . . . ” It appears Agent Williams is going to continue speaking but Blackjack interjects.
“That’s impossible. He’s in prison serving his sentence right now.” Who the fuck is this Fynn dude?
“If you would’ve allowed me to finish, I would’ve explained Fynn Müller Senior is in jail. However, Ashley married his son, Junior, who legally changed his name. I take it none of you know about Senior having a partnership with the Bears,” Agent Williams tells the room.
“Is this some sort of joke? Why would Grizzly have a partnership with a serial killer?” Fists asks, causing everyone in the room to look at him.
“It’s simple. He had someone handling all of his dirty work. Someone to take the blame whenever it came their way. Senior was his ticket to stay out of jail, and it worked until he was prosecuted. Long story short, we need your help, and you need ours. I don’t see why the two of us can’t help one another,” Agent Williams says,
“What do you want?” I’m blunt as fuck when I ask it, but there’s not another way to ask.
“I want you to help us rescue a woman being held by the Bears. Her name is Alexa. She’s been held as a prisoner and we almost got to her . . . but the ruckus you all caused a few weeks ago messed with our entire investigation. They picked up, left all their shit, and took her with them. Alexa can help us and other agencies in the prosecution of other murderers. She’s a key witness in various cases. We need to get her as soon as we can. You help us get Alexa and we’ll lead you right to the Bears.” Agent Williams looks over to Fist. “
We all know you have a bone to pick with him, old man.”
“We’ll do it. My club will get this girl for you, and in return, we get the Bears. I want it in writing and I want you to include every person in this club has immunity from any and all charges you may have been investigating them for in the past.”
Agent Williams smiles. “I can do that, but Fist, I’m going to sweeten up this deal even more for you.”
“How so?” I watch as Fist cocks a brow.
“I’m going to get a conviction for Grizzly. Not only for the murders he committed but the arson against your club as well.”
“No, I’ll deal with him my way.”
“You mean you’ll put him out. Your way will end with him dying. Somehow I think you’re a man who shows mercy to even the ones who don’t deserve it. I’m a bulldog, Fist, and I want this man to suffer for what he’s done. I may have come here on business, but I’m truly sorry for the loss of your brother and your girlfriend. Both of those combined with the club . . . I can’t imagine how difficult it’s been for you.”
“I’m managing,” Fist grumbles back. I think all of us can see just how well he’s really doing.
“I can see that. Now, who has custody of Sydney? From what I know, Fist was left as one of the guardians in case something ever happened to Saffron.”
I know I can’t possibly be catching every person’s reaction in the room, but I see brows are raised and we all look at each other. “What do you mean one of the guardians?”
Hawk: Reapers MC Book #6 Page 10
